A Simple Change (18 page)

I stood and carried the dustpan outside and watched as the contents scattered in the wind. Margaret was right. Hadn't I always told the schoolchildren they couldn't read a book until they first learned the alphabet? If I was going to adjust to this new life, that's what I must do—take it step by step.

For the remainder of the day, Margaret accomplished as much as possible, and when we parted for the evening, I gave her a quick hug. On Sundays, she attended a meeting at a different meetinghouse than I did, so I likely wouldn't see her again until after onion harvest was completed. “Thank you for doing so much today. Your hard work will make it easier for me on Monday.”

A rush of pink colored her cheeks and she brushed aside my words of praise. I'd learned Sister Margaret didn't easily accept compliments, but I wanted to show my appreciation. “I am glad I was assigned to work with you.”

She bobbed her head and flashed a smile. “We have become gut friends, ja?”

“We have. You have taught me a great deal. I will be praying the sun will remain behind the clouds and a cool breeze blows across the fields next week.”

Margaret squeezed my hand. “After the hot weather we have had this past week, I will gladly join you in that prayer, Sister Jancey. If you have any problems while I am gone, you should remember to go to the Küche. Sister Bertha will be able to help you.”

After assuring her I'd be fine, we parted and I walked toward home. I hadn't gone far when I heard footfalls and glanced over my shoulder. I stopped when I saw Ritt racing toward me. The bells chimed in the distance as he came alongside me.

“I'm surprised to see you. Why are you off work early today?” I matched his stride as we headed toward home.

The hour wasn't early for most of us, but during the summer when large orders from the outside world arrived and needed to be filled before fall, all the mills remained open later. Recently many of the workers had been required to work until ten or eleven at night. The men claimed they didn't mind because they enjoyed the extra cash or store credits they received for their long hours at the mill. Ritt, however, hoped his longer hours and good workmanship would benefit him in another way. He wanted to become a supervisor in the weaving room.

“Because your friend said he was the best weaver at the mill where he worked, Brother William said I could go home, and he would see how well Nathan could weave on my machines. Is not right that I must give up my extra hours of work for that boastful man.”

“Maybe you should speak with Brother William about your complaints. Or maybe speak to Brother William's supervisor regarding your concerns.”

“Brother William is in charge of the woolen mill. His decisions are final.” With the tip of his shoe, Ritt kicked a small rock down the wooden sidewalk. “For sure, I think your friend wants to become a lead weaver or supervisor. He wants the same job as I do.”

There was a sting to his words, and I scowled. “You act as though this is my fault.”

“He is your friend. If not for you, he would not be in the mill working at my looms.”

“Brother William assigned Nathan to work at your machines, not me. He is an experienced and diligent worker, and I am sure Brother William wants to put Nathan's talents to good use.”

“And you are very quick to praise and defend him.” He pinned me with a cold stare. “I see how it is.”

My heart froze as he turned and walked away. Had I just destroyed the possibility of finding true love?

Chapter 18

On Sunday, Ritt remained detached. While he'd previously looked for opportunities to visit or walk beside me, since our talk on Saturday, he'd avoided me. Even though we attended different meetings on Sunday morning, he'd previously found opportunities to draw close and talk to me along the way, but not this morning. Inside the meetinghouse, I'd gone to sit on the women's side beside Madelyn. Like me, she attended
Kinder Versammlungen
, the meeting for those of us who hadn't attained full spiritual knowledge in the ways of the church.

The meetinghouse was a bit larger than other structures in the village, but unlike the large crosses and signage on churches in the outside world, the Amana meetinghouses remained plain and unassuming. There were no cushions to soften the pine pews, and the straight backs seemed angled forward rather than into a
more comfortable back position. That, of course, was likely my imagination. But after sitting on the hard pews or kneeling on the pine floor, I'd decided nothing in the church had been created with comfort in mind. Hearts and minds were to be turned to God during worship, but my mind sometimes wandered to my discomfort rather than to God.

Madelyn reached over and squeezed my hand, and I smiled down at her. Moments later, we both stood to sing one of the songs in the
Psalter-Spiel
. I wasn't familiar with the tune, and without the benefit of an organ or piano to aid us, my voice faltered into an unharmonious warble. Madelyn clapped a hand over her mouth while I stifled a chuckle of my own. I didn't want to do anything that would cause either of us to be reprimanded for inappropriate behavior during worship.

After church, my thoughts immediately returned to Ritt and his unwillingness to let me further explain my comments. When he was nearby, he wouldn't look at me. I tried my best to find a moment when I could speak with him, but he made it impossible, and I finally gave up. While I understood his disappointment regarding his work at the mill, I could make no sense of his anger toward me.

My earlier response had not been meant as a defense of Nathan. Everything I'd said was true: Nathan did possess strong work skills and had proved himself to be an excellent craftsman. Had Nathan questioned me regarding Ritt, I would have said much the same about him, for I'd heard many of the brothers commend Ritt for his abilities.

Still, it seemed he wanted to blame me for decisions made by Brother William, and as Ritt's stubborn behavior continued, my anger mounted. Was he going to let his job at the mill come between us?

When Madelyn and I arrived home, she stopped in the foyer. “Do you want to come upstairs so you can check the lessons I completed?”

“Maybe later, Madelyn.” If Ritt had returned from the meeting, I didn't want him to think I was chasing after him.

She grinned and bobbed her head. “Gut. That will give me time to finish learning my spelling words.” She bounded up the stairs with enviable enthusiasm.

After the noonday meal, Nathan knocked on our door. Although his arrival was unexpected, I was pleased for the diversion. Rather than remain indoors and fret over Ritt's attitude, I agreed to accompany Nathan on a walk to the river. Besides, a stroll outdoors held much more appeal than forced small talk in the parlor.

However, I hadn't counted on the fact that other people would see me with Nathan. My stomach clenched when I caught sight of Margaret and John sitting together near the water's edge. While tugging on Nathan's arm, I nodded in the opposite direction. “Let's go down this way a little farther.”

He shook his head. “This is the best place. I checked with several of the fellows, and they said there are flat rocks along here that provide a good place to sit near the water.”

I knew he was right, for this was the area where I'd come with Ritt and Madelyn. “We don't have to be close to the water. I'd prefer a place where there was a bit more shade, wouldn't you?”

Nathan frowned and glanced about, but before he could answer, Margaret shouted my name. Jumping to her feet, she waved both arms high in the air. “Come down here and join us!”

Her invitation surprised me. Had she not noticed Nathan was at my side?

Nathan squinted and cupped his hand above his eyes. “Who is that calling to you?”

“Sister Margaret. She works with me cleaning the men's quarters. I've mentioned her to you.”

“And that looks like John Olson from the woolen mill beside her. I've spoken to him a few times.” He grasped my elbow. “Come on, let's go join them.”

I wanted to run and go the other way, but refusing might give rise to questions about why I didn't want to socialize with Margaret. “Only for a short time and then let's look for some shade.”

“I don't know why you're worried about the sun. You're wearing a huge bonnet and your arms are covered. I don't think even the brightest sun could penetrate your attire.” His gaze traveled the length of my calico dress. “Don't you miss wearing fashionable clothing?”

“In truth, I don't miss fretting over which gown to wear or whether my hair has been coiffed in the proper style of the day. Of the things I have missed, fancy dresses would be near the bottom of my list.”

He grinned as we drew near to Margaret and John. “Then I hope you'll tell me that I am at the top.”

My shoulders tensed and I looked away. “That's impossible, Nathan. You're right here beside me. I no longer have a reason to miss you.”

“Look at the fish John caught!” Margaret tugged on a line and lifted a flopping carp out of the water. “Isn't it grand?”

I was thankful Margaret interrupted before Nathan could rephrase his request. He would have been unhappy to hear that the schoolchildren were the ones I most longed to see.

“That's a wonderful catch.” I bobbed my head with as much enthusiasm as I could muster and forced a cheery smile.

While John and Nathan exchanged greetings, Margaret tipped her head close to mine. “I thought you would be with Ritt, not with Nathan.”

“Ritt is unhappy with me,” I told her.

Nathan stepped to my side. “Are you going to introduce me to your friend, Jancey?”

I introduced Margaret and told him of her many kindnesses to me.

He nodded at her. “I'm pleased to meet you, Margaret.”

“Welcome to our village. Have you decided that you like living in the colonies?”

“Living here is not what I would choose for myself, but I do like being near Jancey.” He rested his hand on my sleeve. “And if it means I must live in the village to be close to her, then I am willing. Of course, it is my hope that she will return to Kansas City with me.” He flashed a smile in my direction.

John's forehead pinched into a frown. “I thought you planned to stay in Middle, Sister Jancey.”

“Look!” Margaret nudged John's arm. “A fish is nibbling on your bait. Don't let it get away.” She leaned close and encouraged him as he landed the fish. “It is a gut one. Even bigger than the last.”

While the two of them assessed their latest catch, I leaned toward Nathan. “They don't get to be alone very often. Maybe we should leave them to enjoy the afternoon by themselves.”

We stood and Nathan gently squeezed my arm. “And I would like to enjoy some time alone with you, as well.”

I immediately regretted my suggestion, but I feared a retraction
would require an explanation, and I didn't have one at the ready. I gestured to Margaret. “I think we're going to walk a ways and sit in the shade.”

“Please stay. The sisters who work in our Küche made extra cookies and sent some with me,” she said, motioning to a small basket. “I am happy to share. There are too many for John and me, aren't there?” She arched her brows at John.

He nodded. “Ja, sit down. We have plenty. And I have a jug of water keeping cool down there in the river.”

Without looking to Nathan for affirmation, I sat back down. “I suppose we could remain a while longer. I am getting a little thirsty, and that cool water sounds inviting.”

Nathan dropped down beside me. “A cookie does sound good.”

There was confusion in his voice, but I pretended not to notice and helped Margaret spread a small cloth. John propped his fishing pole between two rocks and came to sit near us.

He picked up a cookie and waved it in Nathan's direction. “So how did you like working the late hours with us last night? Is at least cooler in the evening. Ja?”

Nathan nodded. “I didn't mind, but I wouldn't want to work so many hours every day.”

John took a bite of his cookie. “Ja, well you should be sure to tell Brother William you do not want the long hours. For sure it may change his opinion.”

“Opinion about what?” Nathan helped himself to one of the date cookies.

John arched his brows high on his forehead. “About who receives promotions and is chosen to work extra hours. Is that not what we are talking about?”

“I don't mind the extra hours some of the time. Besides, Brother
William said the longer hours are necessary only when there are large orders for blankets and flannel. If it means a better job that pays more, then I wouldn't object.” He shrugged as if such large orders would be of little consequence.

John frowned. “Our products are in high demand, and the long hours can go on for more than a short time. Each year we weave at least twenty thousand blankets and produce over half a million yards of flannel cloth. Our goods are highly prized.”

“I'll do what I must, but who can say what the future holds for me.” He glanced in my direction. “Or for Jancey.”

“But if you do not know how long you will stay, it would be best if you didn't seek such a position, don't you think? A frequent change of supervisors is not so gut.” John popped the rest of the cookie into his mouth.

Nathan shrugged. “If Brother William doesn't think it's a problem, why would I? The pay here is less than I made in the last woolen mill where I worked, so if I can be paid extra money as a supervisor, I wouldn't turn down the offer.”

John hunched forward. “If you would receive such an offer, it would be gut to ask God's guidance so you have His direction in your life.”

Shoulders taut and lips pressed into a tight seam, Nathan pushed to his feet and gestured for me to follow. There was little doubt he'd found John's suggestion offensive. Nathan wouldn't ask for God's guidance about a position at the mill—or anything else, for that matter.