A Shimmer of Angels (30 page)

“You must make the decision and take the leap for us both. I will remain with you so I can act as your guide. It can be difficult finding your way if you’re unfamiliar with the nine circles. You will remain as alive as you are now, but the sacrifice to enter
must
be yours, and not against your will; otherwise the fall will kill you. And we need you alive, dear girl.” His grip locked around me, secure in the most insecure situation.

I swallowed, refusing to look down again. I said a silent goodbye to Dad, Laylah, and Lee, and stepped off the bridge.

Chapter Forty-One

The wind came up fast. My stomach dropped as we fell, fear erupting in my every nerve. Azriel’s laugh broke through the rushing air, and my scream piggybacked behind it.

A blur passed beside us. I tried to follow it as it circled, but we were falling too fast. Too far. Cam’s face appeared in front of me, the wind disheveling his hair. I wanted to tell him to get out of my head, that he shouldn’t be my last thought before I disappeared into Hell, but fear kept my mouth clamped shut.

He grabbed my hands and slowed our descent. His fingers were soft, warm. Everything about them felt real.

Strain twisted Cam’s face above me. I held his hands as desperately as he held mine.
Save me, Cam, please. I don’t want to go to Hell.
But I knew he was a hallucination, something I’d created to help me deal with my death. I also knew this was what I had to do to keep my family safe. His white wings flapped. I closed my eyes, hoping that image would help carry me through.

Az’s arms cinched tighter around my waist. “Give it up, angel,” he called out. “She’s a willing sacrifice. It’s already done!”

Az’s voice startled me. I opened my eyes. “Cam?” Was he real?

Cam gritted his teeth.

“Cam!”

He was here. How? How did he find me? It didn’t matter.

I held tight to him, trying to shake the shock. But what was he doing? “Cam, no. It has to be this way!”

“Rayna, I won’t let you go. Az can’t hurt anyone else in Hell.”

No. There were too many lives at stake. I choked back a sob. “No. Let me go.”

Az crushed my waist.

Cam looked down at me. “I won’t let anything happen to them. Or you. Please, Rayna, trust me.”

Trust Cam. With not only my life, but so many others. I’d never been able to trust any of them before. But Cam was different. He had … oh what the hell, if I couldn’t admit my feelings when I was falling toward Hell, then when could I? He had my heart. There, I’d said it.

Tears spilled over my cheeks, and I shook my head. My sacrifice was the only way to end this.

Cam lifted us high enough to see the span of the bridge, the cars’ headlights beside us. He continued to flap, but the horizon sank quickly. The car lights on the bridge disappeared as we dipped lower.

If I didn’t do something, all three of us would end up in the green pit. “Let me go, Cam. It’s all right.” The churning oblivion closed in, so close I swore I could see a mound of bodies and outstretched hands waiting to catch us. In a last ditch effort, I pulled one hand free from Cam’s grip. Azriel slid down a few inches, but held strong.

“This isn’t the way!” Az called up to Cam from around my hips. “Accept her fate, angel. She has cemented her alliance with us.”

Sweat formed between my and Cam’s hands. With Az weighing me down, my grip started to slip. I tried to relax my fingers, to let them slide out of his, but Cam dug into the cut on my hand. I kicked my feet, struggling to get free from Cam. “This is the only way,” I called up to him.

Az slid down my tiny skirt, until his grip locked around my knees. The three of us continued losing ground, sinking farther in the air. Az tried to climb up my legs, grabbing the waistband of my skirt.

My arm shook. My fingers slid farther from Cam’s, and I watched my life slip away. Cam grunted and readjusted his grip on me. He wouldn’t let go. Even when the three of us were mere feet from the water.

Azriel jerked one last time. My hand fell away from Cam’s.

“Hold on,” another voice called.

“Kade?” Kade was here. Really here. He’d come too.

His black wings swooped under us, stopping our descent. Az’s weight lightened, but he was still attached to me. Cam struggled to grab me again, but I fought him off, wriggling and keeping my arms tight to my body. The four of us rose higher into the air.

“Don’t you dare drop her,” Kade warned Cam as he tugged Az.

“Kasade, you’re a traitor to your own kind,” Az growled and dug painfully into my thighs.

“Kade, no. Let. Us. Go.”

Cam snatched one of my wrists while Kade jerked Az again. Az’s nails tore into my flesh as Kade pulled him off me. I screamed as pain flared around the new gashes.

With Az’s weight gone, Cam used the distraction to hook my other hand again, and he pulled me up. I squirmed against him. Az and Kade zigzagged uncontrollably.

“No. Cam, don’t do this.”

Az had a handful of Kade’s wing, and Kade had a handful of Az’s face. Az kneed Kade in the gut, and the two of them plummeted again.

“Help him,” I pleaded to Cam. “And let me fall!”

“There’s no way I’m letting you go down there.” Cam flew us above the span and toward the top of the bridge. He peered over his shoulder. Kade and Az rose again, higher, faster. Too fast. And too close. Before we reached the top of the bridge, they slammed into us in a tangle of arms and legs.

Beside us, Az bent one of Kade’s wings. The snap carried over the wind. Kade howled and fought to keep himself in the air.

“Kade!” I screamed.

Az kicked off Kade’s back and latched onto Cam’s. His eyes were black, teeth bared. Like a rabid animal. Cam, Az, and I plummeted.

“You two are coming with me,” Az hissed while one of his arms snaked around Cam’s neck.

Cam’s face turned red. So very, very red.
Let go, just let go, Cam. Save yourself.
The wind whipped up between us. Another set of arms wrapped around my waist.

I screamed, but Cam nodded as best he could and released me. Kade’s arms felt familiar around me. Familiar and so comfortable I almost forgot I wanted to be in that green hole. We hovered unstably in the air as we watched Cam and Az fall.

“No,” I reached out to Cam. “Kade, you have to let me go. I made a deal, for my family—”

Kade’s injured wing faltered, and we careened toward the bridge. My stomach dipped with us. We spun and fell, the world turning with no sense to it. My leg hit something. A clang rung out. Pain shot through every nerve, a vast, unending fire. I tried to grab for whatever had caused the pain, but it was long gone.

Still falling, Kade curled his wing in, trying to glide us onto the bridge. A gust of wind changed our direction. We angled right toward the metal railing and the fast-moving cars. Kade jerked and hissed in pain. His hold on me slipped.

I free-fell alone for a second, then slammed into the railing so hard unconsciousness flirted with my brain. I growled and fought against the ache and breathlessness, then struggled to wrap my bruised, sliced arms around the cold metal, not giving myself the time to wonder if anything was broken. Azriel, I needed him with me when I did this. I steeled myself and looked down. The ocean still housed a green version of Hell. Azriel’s scream echoed from below.

I tried to keep my hold on the railing, but my fingers were empty before I even realized they were slipping. The doomed feeling of falling returned. This time I didn’t scream. Didn’t breathe. Didn’t move.

I slowed to a stop and gasped. Dared a glance below. A figure fell into the green, the whirlpool swallowing it. “No,” I whispered. The mouth to Hell closed, the green fading to the bottom of the bay before disappearing, along with any guarantee my family would remain safe.

Above me, Kade held his shoulder with one hand and me with the other. Cam flew beside him, holding my other arm. They were all right. Both of them. Good. Because I was going to kill them.

The cold air sobered me, pulled me back from unconsciousness, as they flew me to the bright lights of the city.

Az. Az was gone. Back to Hell. Without me.

I would have sobbed, but I couldn’t. I could only breathe.

Everything blurred. Everything hurt.

Kade’s grip on my hand slipped. I clung tighter to Cam. No reason to fall to my death now.

“I’ll take it from here,” Cam said. He pulled my arm up, hand over hand, until he could hold me around the waist. His fingers rested half on my corset, half on my exposed skin. My blood boiled at his touch.

To our left, Kade’s one-winged flight looked painful. He cringed, never letting go of his shoulder. His shirt hung in shreds. He weaved crookedly, hardly able to keep up.

Cam hadn’t escaped the fray uninjured, either. His eye was swelling shut and his lip was split. “I’m sorry,” Cam said to me. “I never should have let it go that far. I should have found a way to stop Azriel earlier.”

I shook my head, unwilling to talk about what had happened without blowing my top and donkey-kicking him.

“Rayna—” Cam started, his fingers forming a fist over my stomach.

“Don’t,” I spat. “You have no idea what you’ve done.”

I glanced over to find Kade’s dark-brown eyes on us.

A feeling stronger than anger circled my mind. There was something important I needed to know. Something that happened before the bridge. But what—

Cassie. Lying dead on the school’s roof. Luke. Reaching for a window to jump out of. Lee. Being loaded in an ambulance. All the students at the dance. Drinking the punch.

“Luke—the others. You didn’t just leave them?”

Cam inhaled deeply, taking his time before answering. “I subdued Luke. When he wakes, Azriel’s influence should be gone.”

Subdued? I didn’t think I wanted to know what that meant.

“The others are fine. Az didn’t poison them. Poison wouldn’t be suicide, not the way he wanted. It was a bluff.”

But I knew in my gut his threat to my family wasn’t.

We dipped down the hill, farther into the city, closer to the ground. It felt like forever before we finally landed. Another alleyway. Solid ground. I sank down to rest on the balls of my feet and closed my eyes.

I wanted to use tears to expel all the things I wished I hadn’t seen, the things I wished I hadn’t heard. But there were no tears. Shutting down, I wrapped my arms around myself, hooked my hands around my elbows, and rocked.

Cam closed in on me quickly. I didn’t understand why until Kade stumbled down beside us, his rocky landing almost smacking him into the farthest building. He steadied himself and straightened up, his broken wing flopping sadly.

“You flew for her.” The shock in Cam’s voice caught my attention, then lost it as I dropped a hand to the wet, gritty concrete, relishing the feel of it beneath me. Especially since I expected to land in Hell.

Kade bit back a grimace as he folded his injured wing behind him. “So did you.” He spat at the floor at Cam’s feet. His voice was deep, darker than usual, but nothing compared to Azriel’s. He walked around Cam to kneel on the other side of me. “Are you okay?”

Still rocking, I shook my head, too lost, too angry to speak.

“This wasn’t the first time you’ve flown her, was it?” Cam said, fishing for something.

I blinked at Cam, confused.

His fists clenched and his lips pressed into a thin line. He’d caught what it was he wanted from Kade. “You have feelings for her.”

I dragged myself out of my shock-induced daze. “I asked him to come the first time.”

“The Fallen don’t do anything unless it favors them.” He broke his stare away from Kade, but frown lines still traced his forehead as he spoke. “And they’re only given a limited number of times they can fly.”

My brows drew together, and I looked at Kade.

He stiffened. “I could say the same for your kind.”

Cam stood, towering over Kade, his fists clenched. “How did you know where Azriel would be?”

Kade didn’t rise to the challenge. “As soon as the doorway to Hell opened, I figured there was a problem.” Sarcasm dripped off his words. “I sensed him near the school when I dropped Ray off. But you think I had something to do with this.”

The silence that hung between them left me cold.

Kade finally stood, his muscles tense, and Cam stepped closer to him, both their jaws clenched, their fists balled.

“You’re not worth the cursed heart they put in you,” Cam said.

Kade turned away from him and knelt beside me.

Cam blinked, his brow furrowing. “She needs time.” He squatted beside me. “As soon as you’re ready, I’ll get you out of here.” It landed somewhere above a whisper, one I got the impression he’d intended for Kade to hear.

I could feel Kade’s frustrated breath on my bare shoulder.

That was all I could take. I pulled myself to my feet, ignoring the shakes in my knees and the unbearable pain in my hand, legs, and forearm. “You two just
had
to save me. You couldn’t let me go to keep my family safe, to keep more people from dying!”

Their angry stares turned to me, and both faces went soft in surprise.

“We kept you out of Lucifer’s clutches. They wanted you for a reason. Your family can be watched, protected, but you seem to be the important—” Cam’s eyes fixed in the glass behind me, and he breathed a warning. “Rayna.”

I turned, my knee not liking this action much. My reflection shone in the glass and in the puddles of rainwater below it.

Cassie’s blood smeared half my face, chest and arms. My own blood coated my hands, arm, and leg. And small, gray wings peeked over my shoulders.

I had wings. And they both could see them.

“Wha—what is this?” I stared at them, uncomprehending.

Kade cleared his throat. “I don’t know.”

Everything else fell away. “Does this mean I’m an angel?”

Cam and Kade glared at each other. “I don’t know,” Cam spoke up first, confusion clear in his words. “But I’ve never seen anything like those.”

“I doubt it,” Kade added. “Maybe it has something to do with you being able to see us.” He leaned against the window, holding his shoulder.