A Secret Identity (34 page)

The last twelve hours had been terrible for him as he watched my pain and couldn’t relieve it. His eyes were shadowed by purple and his strong jaw sported dark stubble, but he’d been here the whole time, as he’d always been here for me.

We had married the fall after we met and settled happily if sometimes argumentatively into Todd’s house. He continued as a sole practitioner in his office in Bird-in-Hand, supervised by Mrs. Smiley, who forgave him his one evening of unprofessional behavior. I continued writing, and when I felt I had the energy, I was scheduled to begin the third volume in my first trilogy.

While Amos continued to be hostile to us and Jessica followed his lead, Mick and Morgan came to see us periodically. Pip never did. He still fought his medication, and the resulting emotional chaos continued to wrack the family, though he never bothered me again in any way.

From my hospital bed, I looked across the room to the two people who sat in the visitors’ chairs. Dad Reasoner and Aunt Lizzie reminded me of the little wobbly headed dolls that people sometimes put in their cars, smiling, smiling, smiling their delight as their heads nodded slightly on their ancient necks. Their pleasure in Madeleine was a joy to me.

“She looks like the Reasoners,” Dad said. “Just like Catherine.”

“Pshaw,” Aunt Lizzie said. “She’s all Biemsderfer.”

“You always have to disagree with me, don’t you, Liz?”

“Only because you always think you’re right.”

I looked at my husband and smiled. “Do they remind you of anyone?”

Todd grinned as a nurse walked in with a huge bouquet. Todd reached among the roses, lilies, and iris for the card and passed it to me.

“With all our love, Marnie, Ward, Johnny, and Tess. We’ll save all Tess’s clothes for Madeleine.”

“I can see that having a cousin a year older than Maddy will be a great benefit,” I said. I ran a finger gently down Maddy’s small cheek. My baby. I started to cry.

Todd leaned over and kissed me.

“I love you, Cara,” he whispered. “Heart of my heart.”

I fell asleep smiling.

Discussion Questions

  1.  Is it reasonable that Cara’s world is so shaken by her discovery of Pop’s adoption? Why or why not? Why do you think some adopted people search for their birth families while others seem content with things as they are?

  2.  Ward is concerned that a man will take an interest in Cara because of the family money. Does money make a difference in the way people view each other? What does James 2:1-4 say on this subject?

  3.  Amos Yost gives Cara a very hard time. He is very unlikeable. Do you have someone like that in your family? How do you deal with him or her? How would the Lord want you to handle him or her? Read Ephesians 4:32. What does this mean to you?

  4.  Alma Stoltzfus is the opposite of Amos. Do you have any Almas in your family? In what ways are you an Alma to those you love?

  5.  Pip has several behavioral issues. Do you think they are the result of his health or his family’s failure to deal with his issues? Why do you think a God of love allows illnesses like Pip’s?

  6.  When Madeleine gave birth to Pop, unwed pregnancy was cause for great shame. Have circumstances changed? How would you counsel a young woman in this situation today? Is adoption still a viable alternative? Can you think of biblical examples of adoption? What is the great comfort of 1 John 1:9 in situations like this?

  7.  Cara’s family was warm and loving. Todd’s was loving but certainly not demonstrative or vocal. What was your growing-up experience? What do you see as possible issues in a marriage between people with such opposite experiences?

  8.  When Mary runs out of medicine on Sunday, Jake goes for it so Esther won’t break the
Ordnung
. Esther uses roller blades, a modern device made with petrochemicals. How do you view these seeming contradictions in the rules that govern Amish living?

  9.  Cara tells Todd he will know her better if he reads her books. Do you think most authors reveal themselves in their writing? If yes, give some examples from books you’ve read. What did you learn about Gayle Roper?

10. Read Galatians 4:4-7. How does this passage speak of adoption? Of
your
adoption?

A Note to Readers

Dear Reader,

I am the daughter of an adopted person and the mother of two adopted sons. Obviously the topic of adoption is one that has long interested me. The discussion in
A Secret Identity
about what makes family—bone and blood, DNA and genes, or affection, acceptance, and heart—are ideas I’ve long considered.

But beyond these issues,
A Secret Identity
is special to me because it is based on my mother’s adoption papers. The document that tilts Cara’s world—her pop’s adoption certificate—is word-for-word my mother’s adoption certificate with the exceptions of changing her name to his and Philadelphia County to Lancaster County. Like Pop, my mother cost six dollars. Like Madeleine requesting a picture of Pop, my birth-grandmother requested a picture of my mother.

Unlike in the book, I don’t know whether my grandmother ever sent a picture to my birth-grandmother. I never saw the letter making the request until my mother died. By then it was years too late to ask about the requested picture. I certainly hope Grandmom sent it.

We have never tried to search for Mom’s family. Like Pop, she never felt the need to find them. She was content to be part of the family she was raised in, accepting heart and affection as sufficient. I’ve never felt the need to search either. Sometimes when people tell me I remind them of someone they know, I wonder if it’s someone I’m related to, someone I’ve not met, someone who may not even know there’s a half-branch of the family out there. I do, after all, live in the same general geographic area in which my mother was born and raised.

My sons have looked for their birth mothers. We always told the boys we would support this action when they were old enough to handle the emotional ramifications, whatever they might be. We also always refused to put ourselves in competition for the boys’ affection with these women for whom I have a great deal of respect. They did not, after all, have to carry my sons to term, yet they were brave enough to do so.

One son has met his birth family—mother, father, half-sister, half-brother, stepbrother. His birthday dinners are very interesting with all of us there and proof that love is an emotion that expands as needed. Our other son has not met his mother at her request. I feel sorry for her because she’s missing out on a wonderful man, daughter-in-law, and two great grandchildren. Maybe someday. I hope so for all of them.

Every time I hear people denigrate adoption as an imperfect situation (which it is, but then birth kids can be a handful too), I feel genuine sorrow. I think not only of Mom and my sons, but also of the high view God has of adoption. I think of my position as an adopted child of the King. Where would I be without my Father? Where would I be if He weren’t willing to take in a foundling and make her a daughter? It’s heart, after all, that makes the difference. The heart of God that loved me enough to accept me—and you—into the Beloved.

About the Author

Gayle Roper
is an award-winning author of more than 40 books and has been a Christy Award finalist three times. She enjoys speaking at women’s events across the nation and loves sharing the powerful truths of Scripture with humor and practicality. She lives with her husband in southeastern Pennsylvania and enjoys reading, gardening, her family, and eating out as often as she can talk Chuck into it.

Coming January 1, 2011
Book 3 in The Amish Farm Trilogy

A Rose Revealed

Readers who have loved Gayle Roper’s first two books in the charming Amish Farm series will be delighted with the concluding book,
A Rose Revealed
.

Rose Martin became a nurse because she wanted to help people in pain. And she has come to realize that part of being a nurse means encountering death. But death by natural causes…not by murder. So when cancer-stricken Sophie Hostetter is murdered, Rose begins asking questions. Soon she’s drawn into a maze of family secrets that endanger her own life. Her growing attraction to Amish-raised Jake Zook further complicates her life. His resentment toward her is puzzling—after all, she helped save his life. Why will he not allow her to share that life now?

Readers who love an Amish setting, mystery, and romance will be turning the pages until the satisfying conclusion.

And be sure to read the first book
in The Amish Farm Trilogy

A Stranger’s Wish

Englischer
Kristie Matthews’ move to an Amish family farm in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, starts on a bad note as the young schoolteacher is bitten by a dog. A trip to the local ER leads to an encounter with an old man who hands her a key and swears her to silence.

But when Kristie’s life is endangered, she suspects there’s a connection to the mysterious key. While solving the mystery (and staying alive), Kristie must decide whether her current boyfriend is really right for her…or if Jon Clarke Griffin, the new local man she’s met, is all he seems to be.

More fine Amish fiction
from Harvest House Publishers…

Rebecca’s Promise, Rebecca’s Return
,
and
Rebecca’s Choice
by Jerry Eicher

Rebecca Keim has just declared her love to John Miller and agreed to become his wife. But she’s haunted by her schoolgirl memories of a long-ago love—and a promise made and a ring given. Is that memory just a fantasy come back to destroy the beautiful present…or was it real?