A Secret History of the Bangkok Hilton (17 page)

Monks indeed are beacons of light for Thai people. With their status, the public gives them respect and trust. When they betray that trust, they must be dealt with accordingly. After all, a saffron robe doesn’t make one holy. It is one’s conduct that does. As clichéd as it sounds, there are good and bad people in every path of life—even one that is supposed to lead to holiness.

Epilogue

I was diagnosed with colonic cancer halfway through the course of preparing this book. I underwent two operations to remove the parts of my intestine that were affected and a subsequent course of chemotherapy.

This makes me think about death but not in the way you might expect. I can honestly say that I prepared for it mentally a long time ago, given what I saw during my years as executioner. I am also financially prepared so I will depart knowing everyone in my family knows that I am ready.

This sets me thinking of the 55 deaths for which I was responsible, however. I meant them no harm but that sounds absurd because I was sanctioned to kill them. I trained my mind to focus on the task in front of me and, although that may sound like I treated them as numbers, I didn’t. It was a job no one wanted to do but someone had to and it happened to be me.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I can only imagine what kind of trauma they went through. They didn’t have a chance to say goodbye to their loved ones in person and they didn’t know beforehand when they would be executed. I’ve been given notice that I may ‘go’ some time soon. I am surrounded by good people who care about me. The more I compare my fate to theirs, the more I want to ask them for forgiveness. I dedicate any goodness that may be borne out of this book entirely to them.

I read the other day that one of the two drug convicts who were executed by lethal injection in recent years grabbed onto the saffron robe of the monk who was performing a last ceremony for them. The monk said the other man was crying. Their bodies were carried out of the prison to the adjoining temple the following day through a small door called the ghost door. A teacher brought 80 students to watch as their bodies were being carried out to teach them about karma. I hope that it will be the last thing about execution on the news for many years to come.

I find being a guitar-playing grandpa a joy. I know my body is deteriorating but that’s okay. All the pain and discomfort I feel is taken away as I see my niece growing up or smiling. My wife Tew minds what I eat all the time now. She is my lifelong companion and I am grateful to have her in my life. I don’t worry about my three children any more as they are all grown up and are capable of taking care of themselves.

Things change as time goes. People come and go. I don’t know what I will be in the next life. But I can honestly say that I am ready.

Acknowledgements

First and foremost, I would like to say
kob khun
to all at Maverick House Publishers, and Khun Pornchai in particular, for helping me prepare my second English book.

I also owe a debt of gratitude to people Pornchai and I interviewed for this book. Your insights are very valuable in showing different aspects of Thai penology and Bang Kwang.

Last, but not least, my wife Tew for sticking with me in sickness and in health.

Copyright
PUBLISHED BY MAVERICK HOUSE PUBLISHERS
Maverick House, Unit 19 Dunboyne Business Park, Dunboyne, Co. Meath, Ireland.
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Copyright for text © 2010 Chavoret Jaruboon & Pornchai Sereemongkonpol.
Copyright for typesetting, editing, layout, design © Maverick House. The moral rights of the author have been asserted. All rights reserved. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of Maverick House e-books.
E-book edition ISBN: 978-1-905379-81-1 March 2011