“It’s the truth,” Katie said, feeling irritation bubble up inside her. “I don’t know why
Mammi
thought I had gone already. I didn’t sneak into the pantry. I looked at the clock and thought I had ten minutes before the van came.”
“Stop!” her father bellowed. “I’ve heard enough. No
dochder
of mine is going to go around begging
buwe
for a ride
heemet.
It’s improper, inappropriate, and embarrassing for the family. Do you know what people will say about you, Katie? Have you thought about that? Or were you only thinking of being alone with a
bu
?”
Angry tears pooled in the corners of Katie’s eye, and she brushed them away as she stared at her father in disbelief. How could he be cruel enough to accuse her of acting inappropriately? Didn’t he know her at all? Katie had always followed the rules, and she would never deliberately embarrass her family.
“Well?” Robert asked. “What do you have to say for yourself? I asked you a question.”
“I thought you wanted me to be quiet,” Katie replied, wiping more tears.
“I want to know what you were thinking.” He gestured with his hands for emphasis. “Why did you assume staying late to be alone with a
bu
in the bakery and then riding alone in his truck was okay? What went through your mind?” He pointed toward her head. “What’s going on in that brain of yours, Katie Joy?”
“I had no choice,
Dat
,” she said, hoping her voice would
sound more confident despite her tears. “I was stranded without a ride, and I couldn’t reach anyone on the phone. It’s pouring rain, and it’s a long walk
heemet.
What else could I have done?”
Her father shook his head. “You should have tried to call again. Did you try to call one of your
onkels
? You know everyone’s number in our family.” He looked disgusted. “How could you even consider being alone with a Mennonite
bu
? What’s gotten into you?”
Katie wanted to tell her father that Mennonite or not, Jake was a nice young man. She wanted to tell him that she was allowed to have friends who weren’t Amish and that she was old enough to make her own decisions about her friends.
But she couldn’t speak. The lump swelling in her throat prevented any words from escaping her mouth.
Her father spat out his words. “You’re not to leave this
haus
except to go to work and church for a month.”
“A month?” Katie’s words returned with a squeak. “I can’t leave the
haus
for a month because I was stranded at work with no way
heemet
? That’s completely unreasonable!”
“What? You’d like it to be longer?” Robert nearly shouted.
“No,” she whispered.
He pointed toward the doorway. “Go to your room. I don’t want to look at you.”
Katie moved to the doorway and then broke into a run when she hit the stairs. She burst through the doorway to her room, slammed the door shut behind her, and hurled herself onto her bed, sobbing into her pillow. How could her father treat her this way?
Rolling to her side, Katie wiped her eyes and sniffed. The squeak of her door opening announced a visitor.
“Go away.” Katie’s voice croaked.
“Katie,” her mother’s voice said. “I would like to speak with you for a moment.”
Sitting up, Katie hugged a pillow to her chest.
Her mother sat on the bottom corner of the bed, which squeaked under her weight. “I worried that you liked Jake.” Sadie shook her head and touched Katie’s leg. “You realize your behavior could result in a bad reputation. Is that what you want when you go to youth gatherings? Do you want the
buwe
to point at you and accuse you of improper behavior?”
“I don’t understand why
Dat
is so angry. I was stranded without a ride. It’s not my fault
Aenti
Kathryn left without me.” Katie sniffed and hugged the pillow closer to her body. “I didn’t do anything improper. Besides, I don’t understand how having a
freind
is improper. Is being someone’s
freind
truly a sin? If so, then where is the Bible verse that states it?”
Her mother glowered. “You know better than that, Katie. You’re baptized now, and you know the rules we live by.” She pointed to Katie. “You chose to become a member of this community and pledge your heart to God. Don’t act as if you’re surprised by your
dat
’s reaction to seeing you come
heemet
in a strange boy’s truck.”
“He’s not a stranger. He’s a close family
freind.
” Katie cleared her throat, hoping to dissolve the lump.
“Katie,” her mother began, “I think you consider him as more than a
friend.
You don’t bake for
freinden.
”
“I didn’t bake for only Jake,” Katie said, her body trembling. “I brought pretzels in for everyone at the bakery. I shared them with Jake, Hannah, Fannie, Vera, and the rest of the bakers.”
Sadie’s countenance transformed into a sympathetic expression. “I know you’re anxious to find the right
bu
, and you will. Take your time, and let God guide you to him.”
“I don’t see why I can’t be Jake’s
freind.
Where’s the sin in that?” she whispered.
“Are you saying you want to be shunned?” Sadie leaned in close. “Your
daed
would be very upset if he heard you say that.”
Katie wanted to tell her mother not to tell him, but she
knew her attitude would be construed as defiant. Instead she rolled onto her side. “I think I want to just rest for a while. Please close the door on your way out.”
“Katie Joy.” Her mother’s voice was authoritative.
Katie sat up.
“Ya, Mamm?”
“Are you considering leaving the faith?” Her mother looked worried and upset at the same time. “If you are, then you need to let me know so I can prepare my heart.”
“No.” Fresh tears streamed down Katie’s hot cheeks. “I’m not planning on leaving the faith. I love my family too much.”
“Gut.”
Looking relieved, Sadie stood. “Supper will be ready soon.”
Katie watched her mother leave and close the door behind her. She had no appetite after the two emotional conversations with her parents. She rose, removed her prayer covering, and returned to her bed, snuggling under the covers. She couldn’t stop her tears or her disappointment in her parents. Closing her eyes, she sobbed herself to sleep.
Katie awoke to a knock on the door. “Come in.” Her voice croaked the words. Sitting up, she rubbed her eyes.
The door opened with a loud squeak and she gazed at Samuel, who was standing in the doorway holding up a plate of food.
“Ready to eat?” he asked, stepping over the threshold. “You missed supper. We had chicken and dumplings tonight. Your favorite.”
“I’m not hungry.” Katie folded her arms over her chest. “I’ve lost my appetite.”
Samuel crossed the room and held the plate in front of Katie, causing her stomach to rumble. “Are you certain you’re not hungry?” He moved the plate back and forth. “It’s still warm.”
She took the plate and fork.
“Danki.”
After a silent prayer, she dug in, enjoying her mother’s delicious food. “It is gut.”
Samuel sat in a chair next to the bed and watched her eat. She waited for him to make a comment, but he was silent until her plate was clean.
“Jake Miller, huh?” Samuel finally asked. “Why?”
Katie frowned and placed the plate and fork on the nightstand. “Did you come up to lecture me? If so, I’ve already heard it all from
Mamm
and
Dat.
I’m finished with listening to lectures today.”
He crossed one leg over the other and rested his hands on his knee. “I’m not here to lecture you, but I’m trying to understand.”
“He gave me a ride
heemet
, because I was stranded at the bakery. We’re just
freinden.
” She studied her brother. “I don’t know why
Mamm
and
Dat
are making such a big deal about this. I tried to call both the phone in the shanty and the furniture store. My only other choice was to walk
heemet
in the pouring rain.”
“But you should’ve known
Dat
would go off the deep end,” Samuel said. “Do you want to be shunned?”
“Of course I don’t.” She moved to sit on the edge of the bed facing him. “I just want to be his
freind.
”
“You’ve really upset
Dat
,” Samuel said.
“Today wasn’t planned, Sam,” Katie said. “I’m telling you the truth when I say I was stranded. I’m telling the truth that I walked back into the kitchen from the pantry and everyone was gone. I wonder if they thought you’d picked me up like you did the day you went to see
Daadi
for fence supplies.” She shook her head. “I wish you’d believe me. My choice was to ride
heemet
with Jake or walk in the pouring rain.”
Samuel nodded. “I believe you, Katie, but I get the feeling you like him as more than a
freind.
”
“I like talking to him,” Katie said, shrugging. “He’s really nice. I wish I could get to know him better.” She paused for a moment. “Samuel, what would you do if you were me?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know what to tell you. My future
fraa
is a baptized member of the community. We don’t have to worry about our relationship causing any problems for us. You won’t be able to have a life like that with him unless you leave the faith. Is that what you want? You know
Dat
would never accept you if you left.”
“You’re right,” Katie said. “
Dat
is not like Jake’s
grossdaadi.
”
“No, he’s not.” Samuel shook his head. “It wouldn’t be like Jake’s situation where his
mamm
and grandparents worked things out even though she was shunned.”
“And I don’t want to leave the faith,” Katie said. “My heart belongs to this community.”
“I know.” Samuel frowned.
“I can’t be
freinden
with Jake,” Katie said the words slowly as the reality filtered through her. “I guess I knew that all along, but I didn’t want to accept it.”
“I know you’re unhappy, and I’m sorry for that,” Samuel said. “But you’ll find happiness here. I know it. You just may have to wait a while until you find the right person.”
Katie sighed. She couldn’t imagine meeting anyone who would make her feel like she did with Jake. Conversation was so easy with him. It was as though they connected on a deeper level than she’d ever connected with anyone else. But now she had to walk away from him and act like they were never friends. How could she ever do it?
“I need to just keep my distance from him and hope someday he’ll understand,” she said.
Samuel stood and grabbed the plate and fork from the end table. “I’m sure he’ll understand. He knows the rules we live by.” His expression was serious. “You need to convince
Dat
you won’t disobey him again so you can go back to the youth gatherings.”
“Why does it matter if I go to the gatherings?” she asked with a frown. “You’re with Lizzie Anne, and Lindsay is with
Matthew. It doesn’t matter if I’m there or not. When I am there, I hang out with Nancy and her
freinden
now. I’ll never meet anyone new hanging out with them.”
“I doubt you’ll meet
anyone
with that kind of attitude.” He started toward the door. “I just wanted to bring you something to eat. I felt bad that you missed supper.”
Her expression softened as guilt rained down on her. “I’m sorry.
Danki
for supper.”
Katie watched him leave silently and wondered if her brother was right. Did she have a poor attitude, and was it her fault she never connected with anyone in her community? Even if it were true, she still couldn’t shake the feeling that Jake was supposed to be her friend since they got along so well. How could she look for someone else in her community when she was wishing she could get to know Jake Miller better?
8 ounces of cream cheese
½ cup peanut butter
1 cup powdered sugar
8-ounce package of whipped topping
Mix cream cheese and powdered sugar. Add peanut butter and mix well. Fold in whipped topping. Put in baked pie crust and refrigerate 90 minutes.
J
ake couldn’t get Katie out of his mind all evening. The image of her running through the rain toward the back door of her house had haunted him since he’d dropped her off. Instead of going straight home, he’d driven around for more than an hour, thinking of her and wondering what she’d faced when her father found out Jake had driven her home.
Guilt nipped at him when he thought of the punishment she’d have to endure alone. Jake wished he could’ve stood by Katie and defended her actions to her father, but he knew the idea was preposterous. Katie was Amish, and he was Mennonite. He had no right to even think about her as more than a friend, but he couldn’t stop the growing feelings he had for her.
As he motored down the street, he glanced toward the turn that led to Katie’s farm and he steered onto that road. He wasn’t certain why he was going that way, but he felt the urge to do it. When he reached Katie’s house, he slowed down, staring at the building and wondering which bedroom was hers. Was she asleep? Was she thinking of him?
Jake looked next door to the farm where Matthew lived with his sister and her family. He spotted the barn door leading to Matthew’s shop was open and a faint light spilled out onto the rock driveway. He turned into the driveway and slowly drove up
it. He parked by the barn and hopped out of the truck, noticing the rain had stopped.
Matthew met him by the barn door with a surprised expression. “Jake.” He shook Jake’s hand. “What brings you here tonight? I wasn’t expecting you.”