A Scarred Soul: A Small Town Love Story (Safe Haven Book 2) (26 page)

She ground her ass back against him and his cock jumped.

“That would be yes?”

“Big yes, Vince.”

It was impossible to completely trust Lulah to stay still, to not suddenly turn the tables on him and demonstrate what she thought he might enjoy, and as fun as that was, in this moment he needed to be buried deep inside her.

He gripped her hip tight and reached between her legs where she was still slick and swollen, ready for him. He rubbed the head of his cock between her lips, bumping on her clit, as much a tease for him as it was for her. He tried to strangle the groan, tried to continue the hot slow slide between her pussy lips to match her arousal with his, but when he hit the crevasse that would take him deep inside her, his resolve vanished so that he pushed, one thrust, to the hilt.

“Vince…”

God, he’d never tire of hearing his name on her lips, just as he’d never cease to be amazed at how her pussy welcomed him, gripped tight and engulfed him in such tremendous heat. It wasn’t even a relief to be buried inside her, his balls resting against her thighs, needing more.

He squeezed his eyes shut to muster every piece of control available to him. He tried to nudge in farther, as if that was possible, feeling her tremble as he bumped her cervix. “Easy,” he murmured against her neck, a warning to himself, hoping like hell she wouldn’t notice the way his own voice wavered, because an excruciating and delicious need rose within him, making him greedy, and he wanted to stay in this moment, in the heat, with water cascading over them.

Vince’s hand on her hip tightened, the other on her shoulder perfectly countered any forward movement. His torso covered her back, chin hooked over her shoulder. “Lulah?”

“Uh?”

Good. It seemed she was about as capable as he was at assembling a coherent sentence. “Your pussy’s all thick and wet from your orgasm, slippery with your come. I thought I’d feel better for being inside you but, fuck, it adds to the torment.”

“Mission
almost
accomplished, then, hot guy.”

“Almost?”

“I aim to bring you to your knees.” She squeezed and held him with her inner muscles.

Now her name crossed his lips like a curse. “You’ll pay for that.”

“I hope so.” She squeezed him again and this time he pulled out of her, because if he stayed in there he was going to erupt.

“Spoilsport.”

“You’re incorrigible, imp. I was going to offer you mercy, but a tease like you doesn’t deserve clemency in any form.”

“Doesn’t even want it.” Her breathing was ragged as she tried to squirm her hips for contact with the head of his cock and he tilted himself away from her, controlling her at arm’s length, his hand firm in the scoop of her lower back.

“Ah, Lulah, you’re going to have to beg, now.”

“I’ll go down on my knees, do it with my mouth, make you beg instead.”

“I’ll fuck you first, and keep that smart mouth busy until you run out of clever words. When you’re finally silenced, we’ll talk again about mercy.”

Making good on his promise he took a half step forward, releasing his grip on Lulah’s shoulder to take hold of his cock, take it to her entrance and fill her with one hard thrust. “Brace yourself,” he warned as he withdrew and slammed back into her, probably too hard if he could have thought about it, thought about anything beyond the fire that consumed him.

He set up a rhythm, fucking hard, each thrust an attempt to bury himself deeper inside her. He could see the muscles in her forearms tense as she anchored herself on the handrail, using the hold to meet each thrust as if she, too, wanted to consume him. “Like that, huh? A good, rough fucking to keep your smart words at bay.”

“Love it.”

“Tell me if it gets too much.”

“Never too hard…never too much.”

He pulled out again, leaving the head of his cock inside her, taunting the cluster of nerves at the mouth of her pussy with shallow, fast stabs, and the effort it took to stay in that place was rewarded when she started to pant. The water streamed across her back. “Don’t drown, babe.”

“Taking you with me if I do.”

“I’ll be right there.” He thrust back into her, hard again, his balls tightening, drawing up, begging for release. Fuck, he didn’t want to come yet, and she wasn’t going to thank him for what he was about to do. He released her hips. “Work with me now, imp, and steady yourself.”

One free hand he reached beneath her, taking her breast, sliding his hand up, taking a firm grip on her nipple. Her pussy grabbed him as he pinched, pulling a cock-deep groan from him. “These are about to get harder,” he said, rolling the nipple between his fingers and, at the same time, reaching out and swinging the shower mixer around towards cold. When the blast of water hit them they jumped in unison, even though he shielded Lulah from the bulk of the torrent.

“Bastard!” she hissed, struggling to dodge the occasional jets of water that he allowed to wash over her.

“I told you, no mercy.” Vince’d had enough cold showers that he acclimated to the temperature quickly, and Lulah writhing in his grip was making him harder, if that was possible. With two hands free to work her nipples, her movements became quieter, offset by the trembling throughout her body. He knew that she’d still in his hands for those two seconds before coming around his cock.

He changed the angle of his thrusts, drawing an appreciative murmur from her.

“Fuck, yeah.”

“Potty-mouthed little imp.”

“I’m going to kill you when we’re done in here.”

“You’re killing me now.”

“So cold…and so hot.”

“I know, intense, huh?” He took one hand in a glide down her stomach, to reach between her legs cupping her and squeezing her swollen labia around his cock as he continued to surge inside her. She bucked against his hand and with that her back arched as her orgasm tore through her. As she rose to him she released her hold on the handrail and took the full force of the cold water over her chest and breasts, pulling the last gasp of air from her lungs.

He kept her there, back bowed, one hand at her neck, the other holding her close between her legs and lunged one final time into her. He shouted her name as he climaxed, too overwhelmed to keep it to himself as she spasmed around his cock, drawing every agonizing drop from him. Vince left the shower stall first, grabbing a towel and holding it open for Lulah. “Here, imp, let’s get you out and dry before you slip off down the drain.”

She closed the faucet and stepped into his arms.

He took his time drying her, knowing that this could well be the only chance he ever had to care for her this way.

She stood quietly as he adjusted her body so he could reach all of her places, the crease between her elbows, the tuck beneath her chin. He went to his knees, taking care to dry between each toe, the arch of her foot and around her ankle before making his way up her legs. He tapped inside her knee and at his unspoken request she parted her thighs. He took a new towel, dry, and paid attention to each thigh, placing a kiss midway up when he was done.

Standing now he reached the hand with the towel between her legs, cupping her and steadying her with another hand on her shoulder. He stood like that, putting increasing pressure between her legs, and bent to place a soft kiss at the corner of her mouth.

She shifted slightly, up, as if to take his mouth to her but he moved away and she settled as he finished his task.

“You’re so beautiful, Lulah,” he said as he allowed her to pick up a corner of the towel and dry his chest.

She touched the swelling on his lip. “I hurt you.”

“And I hurt you, too, so I guess we’re even.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He tested the split again with his tongue, and he wanted to trouble it, chew it, forever keep the wound raw as a reminder of Lulah’s pain.

T
hey never made
it to the restaurant, never made it farther than the bed and room service. Vince stacked the dishes back outside the room and now lay alongside her on the bed.

The lights were switched off, curtains open, with Las Vegas, in all her neon crystallized glory, winking and strutting, flashing her garish plumage at them through the window. Lulah dropped her head back on the pillow.

“How on God’s earth did we end up here? Honestly, a week ago you’d never have convinced me that we’d be lying here together in a Vegas hotel room.”

Vince trailed a finger up and down her arm. “Welcome to my life. Unpredictable, abrupt with change.”

She rolled to one side, matching his tracing finger as she followed the tattoo of the flight of doves that appeared to be released from the bend inside his elbow, taking to the sky across his bicep to his shoulder. “Are you going tomorrow?”

“Uh-huh.” He stared at the ceiling, his arm slipped around the back of her now, cradling her against him. “I’ll pay my respects to Doc, and work at putting him to rest in my mind. I swear it’s like a lawn cemetery in my head these days.”

“After that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll get on the road for a bit.”

His casual tone belied the fact that they both knew he needed to finish the break he’d started when Doc passed. If that concluded with Doc’s funeral, that would be a logical end but Lulah understood that where Vince was concerned, there was nothing predictable and his nightmare never seemed to end.

“You know, I love you, Lulah. I think I’ve loved you for a long time but I’ve suppressed it because I don’t want a place on the list of people who have let you down. Line three, Vince Marr, totally unreliable bastard.”

“Only when he switches the shower to cold.”

“That makes me sound almost normal.”

“Your love...it’s different than the others, though, isn’t it?”

“I expect…yes, I expect it is. Doesn’t make it any more reliable or any less painful, and I can’t trust myself enough to love you properly. More than that, I can’t give you a promise of my love because when the darkness rolls in, when the light leaves my soul that way it does, it’s like a malevolent entity, consuming any love I feel. I can’t be around your goodness and beauty when that’s going on. I don’t want to contaminate you.”

“Jesus, you’re speaking as if you have some sort of demon perched on your shoulder. And you don’t, Vince, it’s the PTSD.”

Now he was like a predator, gathering attack energy within his stillness, so that a mere twitch from him agitated the conditioned air in the room. His arm dropped behind her to the bed. When he finally spoke, anger compressed his voice. “I wondered when that would come up—”

“No, okay? Just no. Stop it. Don’t be mean, it’s not who you are.”

His breathing slowed as the tightness around his mouth eased. “I see the light at the end of the tunnel, Lulah.”

“Good, Vince, that’s good.” He’d pulled himself back quicker than usual and when she went to smile at him, encourage him, she was saddened by his eyes filled with despair still fixed on some other place, outside the room.

“Right now the light seems to be dwindling.”

“Now, maybe right at this moment, okay. But this isn’t permanent, this state.”

“This city is doing my head in.”

“If you need to go, Vince, you get on the road.”

“I don’t know what I need any more. It used to be so clear, my routine, my visits to Doc. Having him there, you know, as a safety net. I could always call him, leave a message and he’d call back, as soon as he could. Since Doc left, the way everyone does, I feel like the guy doing the spacewalk, floating in a dark galaxy on a tether that sustains me except I’m unable to rejoin the ship.”

Despite the air conditioning, she could see the perspiration pebble-dashed across his brow. She ran a hand over him, stopping on his chest, finding the galloping beat of his heart. “You’re all amped up and I’m sorry, I wish I knew what happened there. Can you breathe through this, Vince?” His shirt was damp against her palm, the rise and fall of his chest, fast.

“No.” He seized her arm, pushing it roughly to the bed and pinning it in place. “I’m so damned tired of
breathing
through these things. It never makes any difference, it doesn’t solve anything because something in my head drags me back there. I fucking hate this, you know? A couple of hours ago we were making love, fucking our brains out. I was like a king, being allowed to do that with you. I felt as if nothing could ever ruin that. Now I’m reduced to this. Fuck it, how long? How long will this continue, because I don’t know if I—”

“Calliope, up.”

As Calliope jumped up to be with them, Vince swung his feet to the floor, stood and backed away. “A dog? Really? Is that the solution? ‘We’re sorry the war fucked you up, son. Here, have a puppy’.”

Lulah knew he would hate himself tomorrow, but right now he had bucket loads of anger and hurt to release. “Go for it, Vince, let it all out, I’m not troubled, but you direct one piece of bullshit at Calliope or me, and we’re out of here. Understand?”

His restraint caught her off guard, and not only was he not breathing through it, but he scarcely appeared to breathe at all. He cocked his head, the corners of his mouth twisted back in a sneer. “Tough love, huh? How’s that worked for you so far? Ray didn’t come out so well after you tried that with him, but it might work with me. Worth a second try, is that what you think?”

“Now you’re behaving like an asshole.”

“Yep, total asshole, that’s me. Angry, nasty, poisoned with self-pity. But let’s stick with that tough love thing, because to make it work, you have to love in the first place. Do you get that? You’re so busy protecting yourself, making sure that the only people allowed in your life aren’t going to mess up your perfect plan, you don’t actually let anyone in at all. At least the empty home you make for yourself won’t be burdened with loan debt, but the emotional debt might be larger and more difficult to bear. I hope your growing bank statement is a comfort to you on a lonely night.”

“Bullshit. This is not you, at all, Vince. You’re being driven by your anger, and PTSD, and grief. Isolating little pieces of my life in order to insult me is pretty low.”

She left the bed, began gathering her things from around the hotel room, and packed her bag. Jesus, she could hardly breathe. How on earth had they so rapidly reached this place of horror? “Right now, I don’t feel safe around you, so I’ll find somewhere else to stay.”

If they were to have any chance of salvaging this, she had to stop talking and leave, because the desire to strike out and hurt him the same way his words hurt her was overwhelming. All those other times, she’d smoothed his jagged side and grounded him when it all amped up, but now it seemed their lovemaking repositioned her too close. She became a target within his swing.

If she stayed with him and turned the other cheek, would he strike at that one, too?

Vince stood by his neatly stacked belongings, always packed and ready to ship out at short notice. “You stay here. Calliope and I will go. I need to hit the road, anyway.”

Now she was a child again, waiting for the person about to walk out the door, out of her life, to offer her the chance to go along, too. Or perhaps, if she stayed quiet and didn’t beg, he’d make an effort to say she’d be sent for when all was well again. But who knew what happened to the people who vanished from your life?

Like the other time, she would stay behind to look after her father.

Vince paused at the open doorway. His eyes cold, his brow furrowed with stress. “You were always going to see the real me one day. Guess it happened. Sorry I’m such a prick. Hope it didn’t hurt too much.”

The door closed with a harsh click, and Lulah sank back to the bed. Her hands were squeezed into tight fists.

Sure, Vince walking away pained her, but what hurt more were his angry words littered with scraps of truth. The way he’d neatly taken apart her life’s motivation and spread it on a table before her was shocking. Nothing like being told that everything you’d worked for was a lie.

Nobody had done that to her before. They’d taken the public-Lulah exactly as she appeared because her jolly untroubled facade fooled them all. Maybe it had her fooled, too, because what Vince showed her tonight shouldn’t have surprised her.

And her heart ached. It really did. As she tried to make plans to move on from here, she couldn’t find her way beyond that deep void in her chest, as though Vince had grasped some essence of her and ripped it away, taking it with him when he’d left the room.

She rolled across the bed to the place where he’d lain. She was cold, but as she pressed her face into his pillow, she could still smell him and immediately found herself back playing the pointless wishing game, wanting to go back some hours and start over again.

Lulah woke around two a.m., her arm numb, trapped beneath Vince’s pillow which she’d pulled to her chest and rolled beneath her as if to smother it, or hold it close.

He was gone, but still she’d stolen a wishful glance across the room, hoping maybe he’d crept back, entering the suite quietly that way he could, so as not to disturb her. But the sofa was as empty as the space in the corner where he’d kept his gear packed.

Sleep was beyond her now, and she switched on the bedside light to make some notes about the other parts of her life that headed towards chaos: Ray, Dog Haven Sanctuary, and the animal behavior degree that she wasn’t going to finish any time soon. She wanted to pack up her room and take a taxi to the airport to grab the first flight back home, back to her cabin, because if she arrived early, maybe Vince would still be around, and they could start this all again.