Authors: Sylvia McDaniel
The boy stood waiting for him expectantly.
Connor sighed. "Tell Mrs.
LaRoux
we'll be there within the hour."
"Yes, sir."
The boy mounted his horse, and rode away at the same breakneck speed as earlier. Connor ran his hand through his hair. He would have to tell his wife.
***
Alexandra sat with Aunt Clara in her sitting room, waiting for the doctor to come out of Sydney's bedroom and give them news of her uncle's condition. She gripped her aunt's hand in hers.
"He's going to be fine. He's strong and he'll recover from this spell just like the others," Alexandra reassured her.
Aunt Clara shook her head. "I truly hope you're right."
Her aunt
smiled,
a tired, withered look on her face. "Sydney and I have had a lot of good years together."
"And you'll have even more. He loves you. He won't give up." Alexandra couldn't think of her aunt living alone, without her uncle.
"I have no doubt that he loves me." She patted Alexandra's hand. "You know, my only regret is that I never was able to give him children."
"It didn't seem to matter to him."
"Sydney knew how much I wanted them. He would never have let me know how disappointed he was. In fact, he tried to make it up to me," she whispered, her voice choking.
Alexandra sighed. "As a child, I liked to pretend he was my father. He acted as more of a father to me than my own. I can't bear to think of him not recovering."
The afternoon was beginning to wane into early evening as the sun slowly slid behind the horizon.
Aunt Clara laughed, a small, nervous sound, and twisted her hands. "When we were young he was quite a rake. Mother didn't want me to marry him because she thought him very improper."
"But once you married him, he must have settled down."
"Oh, after a while.
But our first few years were rather volatile. If we had not been so much in love, we could have turned out differently."
"It's obvious the man loves you dearly."
Aunt Clara smiled. "Yes, dear, reformed rakes make the best husbands."
Connor strolled into the room, carrying a tray laden with tea and glasses. "I thought you ladies might need a bit of.
refreshment
.''
He set the tray down on the
rockmaple
coffee table before the two women.
Raising
up, he looked at Aunt Clara.
"Any news?"
"No. The doctor is still in with him."
"Don't worry about anything but Sydney. I'll oversee feeding the livestock, and check with the servants on dinner."
"Thank you, Connor," she said, glancing at the closed door to Sydney's room.
Alexandra gave him a small smile as she watched him leave.
Aunt Clara shifted in her chair. "Your Connor had a reputation for being a rake. Already I can see some transformation in him. Are the two of you doing any better?"
Alexandra shrugged. "Some."
''I really think Connor is a good man and will someday make you an excellent husband."
"
He' s
different than I expected,'' Alexandra said, rising from her chair, wishing she could change the topic of conversation.
"If you're comparing him to that
nogood
scoundrel your father chose for you the first time, of course he's different. He's decent, though a rogue," Aunt Clara said, glancing at the closed door to Sydney's room, her eyes brimming with tears.
"Yes, but I expected to be married to the rogue, and now I find he's caring and understanding. Qualities I never expected in a man.
Though at times he acts totally irresponsible."
"Oh, yes, I remember those days.
One part husband, one part devil.
There may be hope for this relationship yet." Aunt Clara gave a wan smile. "Have you fallen in love with him, Alexandra?"
The question took her completely off guard. Did she love Connor?
She yearned for his touch, dreamed of him at night, listened for the sound of his voice during the day. But was that love?
She glanced out at the fields of Summerwood and watched as Connor strolled across the yard. Even now the sight of him was enough to make her body tingle in different places.
"I'm afraid, Aunt Clara. Afraid if I fall in love with him, I'll be hurt like before," she said as she watched him disappear into the barn.
"Do you think Connor is like Gordon?"
She thought for a moment. "No. But sometimes they seem similar."
Aunt Clara shook her head in acknowledgment. "They're men. But do you think Connor would betray you like Gordon did?"
"I don't think so. But it's still hard to put complete faith in him." It was hard to trust him at all, yet she found herself having more and more confidence in him.
"Give yourself time. Once you've established trust, you'll learn that he could never be like Gordon."
Alexandra sipped her tea. "You make it sound so simple."
"But it's not, dear. Marriage is a very hard institution, as you well know," Aunt Clara said, glancing once again at Uncle Sydney's door.
Alexandra sighed. "My first marriage was a total hypocrisy. I never loved Gordon. But this time it's different.
Nothing at all like I expected."
"But it didn't start out that way," Aunt Clara said. She glanced at Alexandra. "I always wondered why you never came to me, told me what Gordon had done to you."
Alexandra twisted her hands. "I should have. I told Father and he all but called me a lying slut. And then, after a while, society treated me like I had leprosy, so I decided it was time to go.
Time to get out of the country.
I ran."
Aunt Clara shook her head. "Your father has as much sense as a jackass. But I have to admit, I love what you've done to Gordon."
A smile hovered on Alexandra's lips.
"Any intelligent person will realize you wrote that book," Aunt Clara said. "After all, the families are quite recognizable."
"You're not ashamed of what I've done?" Alexandra couldn't help but ask.
"Good heavens, no. If I were you I would not have been so nice. I would have killed him and his harlot. But I think you're making things more difficult for yourself and Connor. The past is over, Alexandra. It's time to let it go."
Just then the door opened and the doctor rushed out looking harried. "Mrs.
LaRoux
, I think you and Mrs. Manning should hurry in. I'm afraid he's taken a turn for the worse."
Uncle Sydney was dead. Alexandra glanced around her old bedroom in shock. She hadn't really believed he would die. He'd been sick before, but he'd always recovered. The thought of never seeing him again seemed unreal. The whole day felt like a nightmare.
Aunt Clara was holding up reasonably well, but Alexandra couldn't bear the thought of leaving her unattended tonight, so they had remained at Summerwood. Her aunt had the rest of her life to be alone. Tonight, she needed family close by.
Connor had been at Alexandra's side since the doctor had told them there was nothing more he could do. He had even consoled Aunt Clara when Uncle Sydney passed away, and Alexandra could not help but feel touched by his comforting.
He had taken care of the funeral arrangements, made sure the livestock were fed, put the servants to preparing the house for mourning, and sent a servant to River Bend for more clothing. She knew he was busy with the harvest, but he had agreed to stay until after the funeral.
Alexandra was surprised by Connor, astonished at the thoughtfulness he'd displayed today, thankful for his considerate nature.
But his actions were not fitting into her picture of him. She had not expected Connor to be so empathetic and caring. She had not envisioned him to be so responsive to her needs. Rakes didn't offer to help someone unless there was something in it for themselves. Yet Connor had been totally selfless this afternoon, thinking of only her and Aunt Clara.
She was beginning to think he was more of a family man than she had ever realized.
A knock on the door startled her. "Yes?"
"It's me. May I come in?"
The rich, husky timbre of his voice settled over her, thrumming along the edge of her nerves. Opening the door, he stood before her in a rich, navy brocade dressing gown. For a moment, she simply stared,
then
quickly moved aside to give him access to her bedchamber, hoping he hadn't noticed her close inspection.
"I just wanted to check on you," he said, "make sure you were all right before I retired for the night."
Alexandra crossed the room to stand by the bed. She leaned her hand against the cherry bedpost. Aunt Clara had given them their choice of rooms, and Connor had chosen the room next to hers. For a moment, she had almost told her aunt to put them in the same room, but fear had kept her silent.
The fear of accepting her husband once again, of taking a chance on their happiness.
"I'm okay," she said. "His death doesn't seem real yet. It doesn't seem possible that I'll never hear Uncle Sydney's robust laugh again. I'm going to miss him terribly."
Connor crossed the room to stand behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders. She shivered at the feel of his flesh through the sheer silk of her nightgown.
"We'll all
miss
Sydney." His hands kneaded her tightened muscles. "I've just come from Aunt Clara. The funeral has been arranged for the day after tomorrow. We had to wait until then so your father could get here."
"Father's coming?" she asked, surprised.
"Yes. I sent him a telegram this afternoon."
She sighed. "I'm shocked he's taking time off from the bank."
"He's the executor of Sydney's will," Connor responded.
"Oh, now I understand. There must be some monetary reward for him."
Connor didn't reply, but simply let his hands move over the top of her collarbone, easing the tension as she rolled her head aside to give him more access to her neck. "Your hands feel nice," she said.
"Good," he replied, his voice low and close to her ear.
"They feel warm."
She felt his lips against her sensitive neck. "I made sure they were warm just for you," he whispered against her ear.
She turned to face him and scanned his features. His eyes seemed to darken, the blue deepening to a sultry blue. A trickle of heat seemed to spread through her as she gazed at him. "I want to thank you for taking care of the arrangements for Aunt Clara. It would have been so difficult for her."
He opened his arms, and she felt magnetically pulled into his embrace. "Death is so final," he said. "All afternoon, I kept waiting for Sydney to come in from the fields. I just knew he would walk through the back door and ask me why in the hell I was arranging his funeral."
Wrapping her arms around Connor, she laid her head against his shoulder. "I know. It's such a disjointed feeling, to think Uncle Sydney won't be around anymore. He was more of a father to me than my own."
Connor rubbed his palm against her back. Her breasts were snug against the
rockhard
solidness of his chest and she could feel the rhythm of his heart beating. It felt so right to be in his arms, as if she were meant to be exactly in this spot at this moment.
"Your father is more interested in power and money. Money wasn't as important to Sydney.
Just your aunt, you, and Summerwood."
She
raised
up and looked into his eyes. "Sometimes you completely amaze me. Rakes aren't
suppose
to understand people. That's why they flit from woman to woman." She reached up and caressed his cheek with her hand. "Yet, you're different. You do perceive people."
"Sometimes human beings change. Sometimes they have a reason for the way they act."
"Be honest with me, Connor. What was your reason?" she asked, serious.
He released her and stepped away. She watched the pained expression cross his face and could see he was struggling. When he spoke, she was totally surprised.
He took a deep breath."When I was
twentytwo
, I met a girl visiting the
Rutherfords
. Georgiana took my breath away. My father had been dead for several years, and I wanted to settle down, get married, and find someone to help me raise Suzanne."
Connor took a deep breath. "Georgiana and I fell hard and fast for one another, or at least I thought we did. Within four months' time, the gossips were betting on when we would announce our engagement. Then one day, we had a discussion about money."
Alexandra walked over to stand beside him. "What happened?"
He walked around the bed to the window, and gazed out at the stars in the sky. "I know you come from a very wealthy family, Alexandra. You've lived a life that I could never give you. And God knows my family has not recovered financially since the Great War."