A Scandalous Deception (22 page)

“Don’t talk about it?” His eyes bore into
hers once more. “It’s the only way to dispense with the ghosts of
the past, Lissy. Face them head on. Take away the power they have
over you. And I’ll help you. I’ll be right there with you, every
step of the way, because I love you. I love you with all my
heart.”

Lissy didn’t realize tears had started to
stream down her face until Fin retrieved his handkerchief and
softly pressed it to her cheeks. She could only stare at him.
Gentle, honest, honorable Fin. He deserved so much better than her,
and if she’d done things differently…

Lissy’s eyes dropped to her lap. She couldn’t
look at him, not with his uncanny ability to see so clearly into
her soul. When had he developed that skill?

“There’s no need to rush anything,
sweetheart. We can move as slowly as you need. I’m not going
anywhere.”

“I’m not marrying you, Fin,” she whispered.
She wouldn’t be a bigamist, no matter how badly she might wish the
future he painted in her mind was a possibility. “And that is that.
So please do leave. You shouldn’t be in here.”

He heaved a frustrated sigh. “Felicity,” he
began in his most placating tone, “I know you felt the same as I
did yesterday. I know it wasn’t just me.”

And she would relive that night for the rest
of her life. But that didn’t change the situation in the least.
“Go, Fin.”

“Not until you hear me out.” He slid a tiny
bit closer to her on the bed and his voice softened to a whisper,
“It is quite possible that you’re carrying my child, you know?
And—”

A strangled, mirthless laugh escaped Lissy.
“I can’t have children, Fin.” Her voice sounded weak to her own
ears as the memory of her miscarriage began pushing at the corners
of her mind. “So if that’s what has you so concerned, there is no
reason.”

He sucked in a surprised breath, but Lissy
still couldn’t look at him. He’d see right through her if she met
his gaze. “I’m concerned about
you
,” he said most earnestly,
nearly breaking her heart once more.

Of course he was concerned about her. That’s
who he was, what he did. Always trying to make certain those he
cared about were fine. And he cared about her. He loved her. He’d
said so a number of times, but even if he hadn’t said the words,
she’d know he loved her. She could hear it in his voice.

It must have become clear that she had no
intention of saying anything else because he pressed forward with,
“What do you mean you can’t have children?”

Lissy shrugged. “Doctor Watts said it just
isn’t possible for me,” she replied. In truth, the London doctor
had explained quite some time ago that the trauma she’d suffered in
Boston would make it nearly impossible for her to conceive or carry
a child to term, but she wasn’t about to tell Fin any of that.
She’d never breathed a word to anyone after hearing that truth, and
the last thing she wanted to do was remember the heartache she’d
felt upon hearing those words. “Now do, please, leave me be.”

Fin seemed to reach a hand in her direction
but then thought the better of it and let his hand drop to the
counterpane beside her instead. “I love you, Lissy. I just want to
help. I wish you’d explain everything to me.”

But that was the one thing she couldn’t
do.

Fin wanted to brush his hands across her
cheek, to comfort her, to love her. But her back was straight as a
board and she refused to even look at him. Staying in her chambers
at the moment wasn’t going to earn him any rewards.

So he slid from the edge of her bed, walked
slowly towards her closed door and then opened it. Standing in the
hallway, leaning his large frame against the wall, was Lucas
Beckford. His arms were folded across his chest and he wore a
bemused expression. Damn it. That didn’t bode well.

“Fell rather hard, did you?” the man echoed
Fin’s words from the night before.

Fin quickly shut Lissy’s door and then turned
to face her brother-in-law. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Damn it all, he’d rather not have this particular conversation just
now, but there was no avoiding it, apparently.

“Come now, you can do better than that.
Besides, Ben isn’t really old enough to keep secrets and you
did
enlist my son’s aid this morning.”

Not that Fin had said anything to the child
other than to ask for the boy’s help in locating his Aunt
Lissy.

Beckford chuckled and gestured towards
Lissy’s door with the tilt of his head. “You were in there quite
some time and I didn’t hear any of the usual lectures come
filtering through the door.”

“I don’t always lecture her.” Fin started
down the corridor, away from her chambers, towards the staircase.
If they were to have this conversation, he’d rather do it somewhere
else, somewhere she couldn’t possibly overhear.

“Apparently not.” Beckford met his pace. “You
seem quite distraught, though. Everything all right?”

Fin scoffed. Nothing was all right and he
didn’t even have a damned clue as to why. “If she’d just talk to
me…”

The gentleman clapped a commiserating hand to
Fin’s back. “You did enter her chambers without invitation. Women,
in my experience, are never very happy about that. Well, not
usually.”

Fin stopped in his tracks and turned to face
Beckford. Strange as it was, the one-time rake might be the closest
thing he had to an ally at The Chase. “Everything was perfectly
fine, everything was perfect until I mentioned marriage and then
she bolted across Derbyshire in the dead of night as though the
devil was chasing after her.”

Beckford’s brow lifted as though he’d just
found the final puzzle piece he’d been searching for. “I never knew
the old duke. He must have been quite the bastard to terrify each
of his daughters from ever wanting to marry. Juliet wore her
fortune as though it was some sort of magical cloak that could
protect her from the parson’s noose.” He shook his head. “She was
in love with me, Carraway. She loved me as much as I loved her, but
she never would have married me, not if Albert St. Claire hadn’t
been coming for her, not if she didn’t need the protection my name
offered in that moment.”

That was probably true. Juliet had most
definitely had an aversion to matrimony. She had witnessed more
than one of her father’s unhappy unions. “Prestwick was mostly
remote, distant,” Fin began, starting again for the breakfast room
in the hopes of a much needed coffee. When Beckford matched his
stride, he continued, “He didn’t care a thing about his daughters,
nor any of his wives, from what I understand. He certainly didn’t
give Pamela a second thought except in terms of her providing him
an heir.” And Fin’s older sister had deserved a second thought.
She’d deserved love and admiration, not a disinterested man, old
enough to be her father, even if he was a duke. “I never saw him be
cruel to any of them. Honestly, I don’t think he cared enough.” He
shrugged. “Except for Edmund. His son, his legacy.” Prestwick had
been over the moon when his son was born, but the man hadn’t even
shed a tear over the death of his young wife the very same day.

“The boy is better off with you as his
guardian than he would have been raised by his father,” Beckford
grumbled.

Fin did adore Edmund. The boy looked so much
like Pamela. He was a constant reminder of Fin’s beloved sister.
Even so, he shook off the compliment. He couldn’t take credit for
Edmund, much as he would like to. “Georgie and Juliet are
responsible for the wonderful boy he is.”

“Always so modest.” The gentleman smiled. “If
left up to Juliet, Edmund would be a spoiled little devil, and you
know it.
You’re
responsible for the duke he is, Phineas,
instilling honor and duty in him.”

Like he’d hoped to do with a child of his own
one day. Lissy’s revelation of her bareness had crushed part of
Fin’s soul, but it didn’t change the way he felt about her. He
loved her. He loved her with all his heart and nothing would change
that. “I like to think he inherited that from my sister. Pamela was
dutiful and kind. I wish she could have known him. She’d be so
proud of her son.”

Beckford heaved a sigh as they reached the
breakfast room. “What are you going to do about Lissy?”

“I haven’t the faintest idea. She won’t even
talk to me. How can you reason with a lady who won’t even talk to
you?”

A bit of wickedness flashed in Beckford’s
eyes. “Well, you
were
in her chambers a rather long time. I
could demand you do the honorable thing.”

At that, Fin laughed. He couldn’t help it.
“If I thought that would work, Luke, I’d take you up on it.” He
settled into a chair at the table and gestured for a cup of coffee,
which a footman delivered right away.

“I can be quite demanding when I set my mind
to it.” Luke began to fill his plate from the sideboard. “I’ll just
sit her down and explain things to her.”

“It wouldn’t matter.” Fin should probably
break his fast as well, but the idea of food made his stomach turn.
“She’s built some wall up around her.” He took his first sip of
coffee. He’d need a lot more before the day was through, he had no
doubt. “I’m not sure what Aaron Pierce did to her, but it was
something. Something that still strikes terror in her heart. I’ve
only ever seen that look in Georgie’s eyes before, whenever the
subject of Teynham arose.”

Luke turned around, his plate in hand,
staring at Fin. “Pierce physically harmed her?” A vein pulsed in
his neck. “What did he do?”

That was the question, wasn’t it? Fin shook
his head, trying to make sense of it all, to no avail. “I wish I
knew. Much easier to slay a dragon when you know which dragon it is
you need to slay.”

Luke dropped into a seat across from Fin, his
brow creased with concern. “But you’re certain it’s something?”

“More than certain.” Fin frowned. “I just
feel like a bloody fool for not realizing it before now. How the
devil was I so blind for so long?”

Lissy strode into her sister’s room. At least
focusing on Juliet, she wouldn’t have to think about Fin. Her older
sister was reading some leather-bound book in bed, propped up
against a mound of pillows, her dark hair unpinned and down about
her shoulders. Juliet always had demanded the most comfort, and
Lissy couldn’t help but smile upon seeing her look so well.

“Jules!” She rushed towards the large
four-poster, relieved beyond measure to finally see her sister.

Juliet dropped her book to the counterpane,
and true joy shone in her dark eyes. “Lissy!” She reached both of
her arms out, an invitation to be embraced if there ever was one.
“Luke said you and Fin arrived separately in the middle of the
night.”

Lissy hugged her sister gently, careful not
to hurt her. “I couldn’t wait to see you.”

Juliet laughed, hugging Lissy a bit tighter.
“Next time, be less anxious. You could have gotten hurt.”

Lissy pulled out of her sister’s embrace and
grinned. “So little faith in my skills as a rider?”

Juliet rolled her eyes. “I’m not even going
to respond to such a ridiculous question.”

“How are you, Jules? Ever since I got Luke’s
letter I’ve been out of my mind with worry.”

“Hot.” Her sister patted a space on the bed
beside her. “And uncomfortable. And miserable. Do tell me
everything I’m missing in Town. I am bored out of my mind, stuck in
this bed.”

Lissy climbed onto the bed beside her sister
and rested her head on Juliet’s shoulder, just like she used to
when they were much younger. She’ always idolized Juliet, who was
always so brave, so confident, so headstrong. Lissy had often
wondered during those awful months in Boston what Juliet would have
done in her place. Her sister had such a commanding presence about
her, she always had. Would Jules have intimidated Aaron from the
very beginning? Would she have put him so perfectly in his place
that he wouldn’t have dared to lay a finger on her? Or would even
the bold and courageous Juliet have buckled under Aaron’s
viciousness? Would any woman have ever stood a chance against
him?