A Run for Love (19 page)

Jesse left Tori’s side to speak with Caleb Johnson, who continued to glance at his pocket watch.

“Caleb, I’ll take care of figuring the damages for each man and collect the money. You’ll have a check in less than thirty days.”

“No need, young man.” Mr. Boswell’s booming voice echoed through the hall, drawing everyone’s attention as he slapped Jesse on the back, almost knocking him off his feet.

“In view of the fact my dear wife organized, without a permit,”—he scowled at Mrs. Boswell, sitting stiff-necked in the third row—“this disastrous march for decency, I shall assume all costs with regard to fines and damages. Even your girls.”

Pastor Dave jumped up. “No, we can’t allow that, sir, all our wives were involved.”

“No, Pastor, I insist. I’ve already received the list from the court clerk, and I will send a check with my man immediately.”

Jesse shook Mr. Boswell’s hand and turned to help Tori. The walking wounded and their husbands left the hall to return to the homes the judged had ordered them to stay in.

A hefty blond whore lingered outside the church hall and, hand on her hip, sauntered over to Jesse. “Why don’t you stop in for a drink some night, Lawyer? Free of charge.”

He shook his head and grabbed Tori by the collar of her shirtwaist as she started toward the woman, murder in her one good eye.

Once they settled in the carriage, he headed away from the crowd leaving the church hall and steered the horses to the street.

“Very nice of Mr. Boswell to offer to pay all the fines and damages.” Tori peeked through her swollen black eye.

“No, darlin’, merely self-interest.”

“What do you mean?”

“Mr. Boswell is the best customer Johnson has, and the girls love his big tips when he visits upstairs at least twice a week.”

Tori stared open-mouthed, a blush rising from her neckline. “You mean Mrs. Boswell’s husband is a patron of The Bottomless Bucket?”

“Yep. I’m sure he and Johnson are sharing a drink right now.”

“How do you know that?”

“Darlin’, everyone in town knows it.”

“Oh, poor Mrs. Boswell. No wonder she wanted to close the place.”

He snorted his opinion.

Once her bruises and scratches healed, Tori continued with the project of decorating Jesse’s house. He took her out to supper several nights, but sometimes he coerced her into cooking in the new kitchen. She always referred to it as
his
kitchen, but he preferred
our
kitchen.

Jesse took her hand after one of their suppers and rubbed his thumb across her knuckles. “When are you going to move back home?”

She pulled her hand away and jumped up to clear the table. “I can’t talk about this.”

“No, no. Sit down, honey. We need to talk.”

With shaky fingers worrying the buttons on her shirt, she took her seat.

“Our house is coming together, due to your hard work. You love cooking in our kitchen. You spend more time here than you do next door. Why not pack your clothes and come back?”

“I can’t.”

“I’m trying to be patient here, honey, but why not?” His soothing voice probed further.

“I told you, I can’t take a chance on getting pregnant again.”

“There are ways to prevent it.” Jesse murmured, tucking strand of hair behind her ear.

“No.” She stood again. “Those methods aren’t foolproof. I can’t do it, I can’t.” Her normally strong voice faded to a whisper.

“Okay, calm down, sweetheart.” He reached out to touch her hand. With a quick tug, he drew her between his legs, then settled her on his lap. “How about if you move back, but we don’t share a bed?”

“You would do that?” She tilted her head to one side and frowned.

“I told you before. I’m not giving up on us. If sleeping apart gets you home, then we’ll do it.” He raised his hand as she started to answer. “I have to be truthful. I don’t intend to badger you, but I
will
continue to try to change your mind.”

Tori placed her hands on his shoulders and regarded him. No guile there. His honest blue eyes stared back at her. She could trust him, no doubt about it. But could she trust herself? Her hands burned where they touched his shoulders. He could still look at her in the way that made her heart race and her breath catch. Thoughts of their few months together started the flush rising from her toes to her hairline. She blew out a huge breath. “Okay, I’ll try.”

Jesse grinned, and her heart gave a little leap.

I hope I don’t come to regret this.

“Let’s get these dishes done, and we’ll go next door and pack you up.”

Michael and Rachel hugged Tori when she told them her decision. Michael beamed at Jesse and gave him a thumbs-up sign. Ellie and Hunter joined in, but with more reluctance.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be right next door. We have a big kitchen now, so you can come for supper anytime, even sleep in our extra bedroom.”

Jesse put his arm around Hunter. “Another thing even your aunt doesn’t know.” He winked at Tori. “I’ve been in touch with a contractor to have a house built outside of town big enough for everyone. Once Michael goes off to college, we’ll all move there.”

Tori regarded him wide-eyed. “Another house?”

“I meant for it to be a surprise.”

Jesse led the way to the door, both of them loaded with her belongings. After a bit of fumbling, they opened Jesse’s front door and headed to the kitchen. Tori dropped her bundle on the new round table as her eyes darted around the room. “What about this house?”

“The contractor will put in a wall to separate the living area from my office, then I can rent those rooms for additional income.”

She’d gone through so much work to decorate this one, but now with experience, she’d have fun doing it again. Leave it to Jesse to solve problems. Tears burned her eyes.

Too bad he can’t solve the problem of my fears
.

She followed Jesse into the bedroom. As always, his hair hung over his forehead, making her hands itch to smooth back the wavy strands. She studied his strong features. As strong as him. Dependable, caring. Oh Lord, a full-fledged crying jag threatened if she didn’t pull herself together.

Jesse dragged out the cot he’d slept on when he first arrived in Guthrie. He set it in the bedroom, across from the large bed delivered only a week ago.

Since she’d finished the house and no longer resembled a barroom brawler, Tori spent some time with Katherine Tilton, an elementary teacher she’d met when school first started. Tori helped in her classroom with children having problems and grading papers, to give Katherine extra time to teach.

The women were cutting out ducks for younger students to color. Tori wiped tears of mirth from her eyes after telling Katherine the story of the infamous march of the Ladies League for Decency. The teacher ran the gamut of surprise—shock, chagrin, followed by gales of laughter.

After a few minutes of silence, Katherine glanced at Tori. “I’m glad you moved back with your husband.”

Tori’s hands stalled, the scissors dangling from her fingers. “Me, too. I returned about a week ago.”

“A wise decision,” Katherine said.

“We’re still trying to work through some problems, but it’ll take some time.”

Katherine peered at her from under half-closed eyelids. “You know, at my boardinghouse, a couple women had their eyes on your husband.”

“Really?” Tori’s eyebrows rose.

“You shouldn’t be surprised. Jesse’s a good-looking man, a lawyer, and very charming.” The teacher blushed.

“But he’s married!”

“Some women don’t care. They figured with you living somewhere else, he’s fair game.” She shrugged. “Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s immoral.”

Fair game? Lord, he’s not the only man in town.

When she arrived home, Jesse surprised her by ordering supper from The Café. She’d mentioned Ellie and Hunter would eat with them, so he’d ordered their favorite, fried chicken with mashed potatoes, plenty of it. He also managed to visit the bakery to get a deep chocolate cake Hunter loved.

“Tori, Miss Devlin told us today Guthrie is going to have a special day next month to celebrate the town’s first anniversary.” Hunter spoke between shovels of mashed potatoes.

Jesse touched Hunter’s hand to slow him down. “That’s a good idea.”

“What’s an anniversary?” Ellie asked.

“It means our city has been in existence for one year, which will happen on April twenty-second. So each year on that date, it’s our anniversary.” Jesse smiled at the little girl.

“So what sort of celebration?” Tori asked.

“I can tell.” Ellie scowled at her brother as he started to speak. “We’re going to have a picnic and races.”

“Yeah, and a dumb dance.” Hunter rolled his eyes.

“And a pie eating contest.” Ellie bounced in her chair.

Hunter stuck his chest out. “I’m gonna win the pie eatin’ contest.”

She and Jesse shared a grin as their eyes met and held. Jesse’s expression shouted,
we could have our own kids like this.

Tori’s heart tugged. Ellie and Hunter were growing so fast. Michael would be off to college in a few months, and between school, church, and friends, they seldom saw Rachel. Soon these two younger ones would be involved in activities of their own, and she would have no one to mother.

Jesse studied her for a moment, then reached behind him to grab a small white bakery box. “So who wants chocolate cake?”

“I do!” Hunter yelled.

“I do!” echoed his sister.

Tori settled in bed, tugged up the blankets, then fluffed her pillow. She bent an elbow to prop her head, watching Jesse undress for bed. Her stomach fluttered as his muscles rippled under golden skin as he took off his shirt. A warmth spread through her. Very familiar, but frightening just the same. She wanted to ignore it, but her body rebelled. Traitorous body. She must teach it to behave.

Jesse pulled on a nightshirt, his concession to them sharing a room. He unbuckled his pants, then slipped them off, his nightshirt covering him, much to Tori’s disappointment.

For heaven’s sake, what was she thinking?
Ha! You know what you were thinking.

She put her head down, then closed her eyes so he’d think she slept. After a minute of silence, the bed dipped as Jesse sat alongside her. He removed her spectacles.

“If you’re going to pretend you’re asleep, darlin’, it’s more convincing if you take your spectacles off first.”

Tori opened one eye. “I am asleep.”

“No, you’re not. You watched me undress.”

“I did not!” Heat spread throughout her body.

Jesse stared at her with a smirk.

“Can I see how far that blush goes?” He pulled on the neckline of her nightgown.

Tori slapped his hand away. “Jesse, stop it. You promised.”

“I also promised to change your mind.” He leaned down. His feathery kiss turned deeper when Tori moaned. He pulled her against him, her breasts crushed to his broad chest. She melted in his arms, then moved her hands to play with the silky ends of his hair.

Jesse shifted and pulled her across his lap. The evidence of his desire pressed against her thigh. He cupped her breast, rubbing her stiff nipple.

Tori pushed the covers away with her feet. Her heart pounded so hard, it seemed to want to gallop out her mouth. She’d missed this, feeling secure when Jesse held her. The warmth and scent of his body close to hers. He smelled of soap, fresh air, and Jesse. Her body relaxed as his fingers worked their magic. Oh, if she could only let go. Forget her fear, let her husband make love to her as much as she wanted, needed.

He unbuttoned her nightgown. Good, her blood boiled. His hand on her naked skin elicited a groan. Then her brain froze, scenes flashing behind her closed eyes. How she ached when she lost the baby. Blood, pain, fear. How she destroyed the small life inside her because of her stubbornness.

Jesse knew the minute he’d lost her. She’d been melting like butter left in the sun. Her heart pounded in rhythm with his. Her restless movements spoke of the passion and desire that had driven him crazy for weeks. Then, from nowhere, she tensed and pulled away.

She pushed at him, gulping for air. He took her hands in his, hoping they trembled with leftover passion. Her eyes were wild, wide with fear. He let her go as soon as he saw the terror hidden in their depths. With steady hands, he grazed her flushed cheek with his knuckles.

“It’s okay, honey.”

“I can’t.” She dropped back on the bed, then rolled away from him, buttoning her nightgown. “I just can’t.”

Jesse blew out a deep breath, then ran his fingers through his hair to give his body time to calm down. It got harder and harder to control himself.

Harder seemed to be his constant state.

Maybe Tori moving back wasn’t a good idea after all. Maybe, in fact, she would never recover from losing their baby. Years of frustration marched through his mind, like crippled soldiers on parade.

The bed dipped again as he stood, then reached his miserable little cot, grabbed his pants, and yanked them on. He pulled off his nightshirt, then tugged on a shirt. He stuffed it into his pants with one hand as he scooped up his shoes with the other and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” Her small voice came from the direction of the bed.

He stopped, leaned his head against the door, and took a deep breath.

“To dunk my head in a bucket of very cold water.” He jerked the door open, closing it a lot quieter than he wanted to.

Tori lay on her side, listening to her husband leave because of her fears. A thought hit her like an epiphany. She loved the man she’d sent away from her, loved him with her whole heart.

Unfortunately, she couldn’t love him with her body. How long before he returned the looks from the women Katherine had mentioned? Or took up with the buxom blonde at The Bottomless Bucket who’d offered him a drink, along with anything else? He was a man, with a man’s needs. Did she want to be another Mrs. Boswell, trying to shut down a saloon to keep her husband from frolicking with the girls upstairs?

She flipped onto her back, hugged her middle. Moonlight played across the ceiling. Tiny shadows soothed her jagged nerves. She closed her eyes in an attempt to sleep. One tear leaked, then trickled down her flushed cheek.

Jesse stormed out of the house, down the street, and then stopped. Where the hell was he going? He had no desire to visit a saloon, especially with his wife the subject of jokes there. He was probably banned for life at The Bottomless Bucket anyway. He sighed and, shoulders slumped, walked home.

He settled himself in a comfortable chair Tori had bought. Leaning his head back, he stared at the ceiling. A glass of brandy would help him sleep.

After two glasses of brandy, an hour of gazing at flames in the fireplace, he banked the fire and headed to bed.

A sliver of moon cast enough light in the room so he could see Tori. She lay on her side facing him. The rise and fall of the light blanket assured him she slept. As he took his clothes off once again, he studied his wife’s face. Even in slumber, she appeared worried and tense. Since she was already asleep, he skipped the nightshirt, which he detested anyway. He settled himself, trying to get comfortable, which didn’t seem possible given the cot was hard and too short for his large frame.

Tori stared aghast at blood pouring from between her legs. Her baby was dying. She gripped her stomach, trying to keep it inside. If she could, her baby would grow and live. She grabbed Dr. Hendricks’s hand, begging him to help. Her bloody hands slipped down his shirt as he shook his head in disgust. Tears poured from her eyes, then her baby slipped out, a shriveled bundle. She tried to push it back in, but couldn’t. So much blood! Then Jesse stood in front of her, frowning. “This is your fault. I told you to cut your work hours.” She screamed, “No. Help me,” still trying to push the baby back in. “Help me push. I know we can do it. Help me, Jesse, please.”

Jesse bolted upright, his heart pounding. A horrible scream woke him. Disoriented for a minute, he stumbled from the bed, then glanced around. Tori thrashed on the big bed across the room. He rushed over and dropped to his knees. A glean of sweat covered her face, mixed with tears. She shouted, “No, I didn’t mean it.”

Jesse climbed into bed and shook her.

“Tori. Tori. Wake up, honey.” He pushed sweat covered ringlets off her forehead.

“Wake up, Tori.”

Abruptly, she opened her eyes, her mouth working in fear. She threw her arms around him and sobbed.

“Honey, you had a nightmare. Only a dream, it’s over now.”

Tori continued to cry, taking in great gulps of air.

“It all happened again.” She shuddered. “The blood, the baby, Dr. Hendricks.” She held him so tight, strangulation became a possibility. He rubbed her back, whispering words of comfort as he eased down beside her, pulling her body up against the length of his.

After about five minutes, he eased away, but she tugged him close. “Don’t go. Don’t leave me.”

“I’m not going anywhere, darlin’.” His muscles cramped, so he eased Tori down, her head on his chest.

Great. Here I am, naked, with Tori plastered against me. If you’re listening, God, can you please have a little sympathy?

After a while, her heartbeat slowed and her sobs stopped. He pulled the blankets over them both. Tori took a huge breath and yawned. He continued to rub her back until she relaxed and he heard the soft, even breathing of sleep.

What the devil had happened? He shivered at the memory of Tori’s screams of terror. This problem of hers went deep. Could it be the little bit of love play they’d engaged earlier had triggered a nightmare? How could he help her? He had no idea.

He continued to stroke her arm, while his brain bombarded him with frightening thoughts. What if she never got past this? Could he continue in a celibate marriage?

The answer was simple. He loved his wife and would never do anything to hurt her. In order to keep Tori by his side, he would honor her request to stay away from her bed. But he
would
continue his campaign to erase her fears.

He’d overheard Norman Alton at the drugstore speaking with a customer earlier in the week. Alton confided he’d managed to get some condoms in stock. He kept them under the counter, then sold them to a few people he could trust not to spread the word. Important to be discreet, he’d said to the customer as he winked. He’d broken the law by having them mailed to him from his supplier.

Jesse dragged his hand down his face. Damn, this made him feel like a randy youth. But that wouldn’t stop him from seeing good old Norman tomorrow to get a small supply of condoms. Smiling to himself, he drifted off to sleep.

Tori shifted, turning so her soft, warm bottom pushed against him. Fully awake again, a long night threatened.

Tori smoothed the quilt and promptly sat on the made bed, the same bed she’d chased her husband from last night. Once again her mind wandered back to a conversation between her and Jesse a few weeks ago when he mentioned there were ways to prevent pregnancy. She told him at the time they weren’t foolproof, but truth be known, as most well-brought-up young ladies, she possessed no knowledge of what those ways were.