A Royal Pain (25 page)

“And this delightful young person is our visiting princess.” Lord Cromer-Strode turned his attention to Hanni. “Is this your first experience of an English country house, Highness?” He took her hand, pressing it between his.

“Yes, it is my first visit to England,” she said.

“Then you must let me give you a tour of the grounds,” he went on. “Give you a feel for the place. Dippings is noted for its sublime landscapes and the rose garden is in all the guide books. We have trippers clamoring to take a look almost daily. Come along, drink up that lemonade and we’ll have time for a turn before tea.”

A turn at what? I wondered. A feel for which place? Did he make a habit of such behavior? I wondered if I was being invited along as chaperone.

“We’ll leave my daughter and Lady Georgiana to catch up on news, shall we?” he went on, making it perfectly clear that I wasn’t. “They have hardly seen each other since schooldays. Off we go then.”

He put an arm around her waist and shepherded her away. I stood there in an agony of indecision. Could I come up with an excuse to go after them? Surely even the most randy of old men would not try anything with a visiting princess, would he? I could already hear the queen’s voice ringing in my ears;
And you just sat there and allowed her to be deflowered in broad daylight? Germany will declare war and it will all be your fault.

If I see them heading toward the rhododendron shrubbery, I’ll go after them, I decided.

“Isn’t it spiffing fun that we’re together again, Georgie?” Fiona came to stand beside me. I remembered she always was on the hearty side.

“I’m not sure whether I should be letting the princess go off unchaperoned,” I said as the two figures disappeared around the side of the house.

“Don’t be silly, she’s with Daddy. He’ll take really, really good care of her,” Fiona said. Like other members of our class, she didn’t say her
r
’s properly. The words came out as “weely, weely.” With her I suspected it was affectation. She slipped her arm through mine. “Why don’t we go for a little walk too? We have some darling, darling little woolly lambs at the home farm. Well, they’re rather fat and jolly now but they were absolutely darling a month or so ago.”

Since the home farm was in the same general direction that the princess had taken I agreed to this.

“Isn’t it too, too lovely to be together again?” Fiona said. “I know we’re going to have such a jolly time. Mummy has invited lots of absolutely topping people and it’s going to be splendid fun.”

I managed a happy smile.

“Have you heard my news?” Fiona said. “Did you know I am engaged to be married?”

“No, I didn’t. Congratulations. Who is the lucky man?”

“Why, it’s dear Edward.”

“Edward?”

“Surely you know him. Everybody does. Edward Fotheringay.”

“Lunghi Fungy, you mean?” I blurted the words out.

“I don’t like that silly nickname. I have forbidden Gussie to address him in that way. But I’m so glad you know him. Isn’t he wonderful? Everybody adores him.”

Including my mother, I thought. And from what I saw, he reciprocated the sentiments.

“And is Edward here at the moment?” I asked casually.

“Of course he is. We couldn’t have a house party and not invite Edward, could we? He has driven my American cousins into Cambridge today, seeing that he was a student there and can show them around properly.”

Given his behavior with my mother and his flirtation with Hanni, I wondered just what else he might be showing them during the course of the day.

“But they’ll all be back in time for dinner,” Fiona continued merrily. “Ah, here we are. This is the home farm. Isn’t it absolutely sweet? Almost like a toy farm. I’ve always adored it. And Daddy loves it so much. He spends most of his time here, just talking to the pigs.”

I snorted. I couldn’t help it. I know a lady never snorts but it just came out. The pink image from the shrubbery was simply too strong. So his family thought that he spent all his time at the home farm, did they?

By the time we returned to the house our luggage and maids were installed in our bedrooms. I found that Hanni had come back, apparently unscathed, before me and was talking with the baroness in her room, while the silent, scowling Irmgardt scurried around, unpacking trunks.

“And how was your walk?” I asked cautiously.

“I enjoy very much,” Hanni said. “He is very kind man. Very friendly. We had to climb over stool, is it called?”

“Stool?”

“Between fields.”

“Stile,” I said. “You mean steps over a wall?”

“Yes. We climb over stile and he was kind enough to lift me up and down.”

And do a little incidental groping, I thought.

“The princess’s room is most satisfactory,” the baroness said. “I understand your room is next door. My room is not so pleasant, I regret to say. At the back of the house, facing north, up flights of very steep stairs.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “Should we speak to Lady Cromer-Strode about it?”

The baroness sighed. “I am prepared to suffer,” she said. “Obviously a German title means nothing to these people. I am treated like a maid.”

“Perhaps they are not aware of your rank,” I said. “The queen arranged this and she may not even have been aware that you would be accompanying us.”

“That could be true,” she said, “especially if you did not remind Her Majesty that I was staying with you.”

So I was to be the guilty one. “I’ll try and have your room changed for you.”

“Please do not derange yourself. I shall suffer. The extra stairs shall be good for my fitness.”

“I haven’t even seen my own room yet,” I said. “It may not be as pleasant as this one. I’ll call for you when it’s teatime, shall I?”

“Teatime? I thought we just ate on the lawn.”

“That was a snack to keep us going until tea,” I said.

“At least we are to be fed properly here,” the baroness commented as I left Hanni’s room. Mildred had already unpacked everything was busy pressing out every crease. Truly she was a marvel. I couldn’t think why I’d be so relieved to get rid of her again.

“What a delightful view from your window, my lady,” she said excitedly. “I’m sure you are going to have such a happy time here. And I see there are some attractive young men. I passed one of them in the hall just now. Very handsome and quite flirtatious too. He actually winked at me.” And she blushed.

At four o’clock we made our way down for tea, which was held in the long gallery. Lady Cromer-Strode was wafting around gushing and officiating. “Do try the Victoria sponge. It is Cook’s specialty. And those little crunchy things. Divine. I don’t know where my husband can have gotten to. Up at the farm again, I suspect. He puts in far too many hours on that farm. Absolutely dedicated, isn’t he, Fiona, honey?”

Fiona agreed. I rather fancied I saw meaningful glances pass between some of the guests and wondered which ones of them had been taken on visits to the farm. We tucked in well even though it was only an hour since we’d eaten sandwiches. Isn’t it remarkable what fresh air will do for the appetite? There were the most delicious scones with thick cream and homemade strawberry jam as well as brandy snaps and cream puffs that were so light they melted in the mouth. Obviously the baroness was going to be very happy here. One by one the other guests drifted in. Jensen and some other tennis players. A young man I thought I recognized came to sit beside me.

“Hello, I’m Felix,” he said. “I don’t think we’ve met.”

“Georgiana,” I replied. “And I think I saw you at Gussie’s party the other night.”

“The fateful one when poor old Tubby toppled?”

I nodded.

“That was a rum do, wasn’t it? Who’d have thought poor old Tubby?”

“Does Gussie give a lot of these parties?”

“Oh, all the time, old bean. The host with the most is our Gussie.”

“He must have a good allowance. The champagne and cocktails were positively flowing,” I said awkwardly. One of the rules of our set was not to discuss money, but in my role as sleuth, I rather needed to know where Gussie acquired his.

“Well, I don’t know about allowance, but he does all right by himself, old Gussie,” Felix said guardedly. “One way and another.” There was something in the way he said it that made me wonder about that cocaine. I had thought of Gussie as the genial host, but what if he supplemented his income by supplying his friends with drugs?

“You were at Cambridge with him, were you?” I asked.

His face lit up. “Oh, absolutely. All Trinity men. We rowed in those days. Not anymore. Gone to seed rather.”

“So what do you do now?” I asked.

“Not much, really—to the despair of the pater. Haven’t found my niche in life yet. Wasn’t cut out for the army or the law or the church and there’s not much else left, is there?”

I agreed that there wasn’t.

“So how about you? Are you one of those fearsome bright girls who went to university?”

“I’m afraid not. Although I’d quite like to have gone, but it wasn’t offered.”

Felix nodded in sympathy. “Hard times, I know. Everybodypenny pinching. So I suppose you were forced to go out and earn your own living?”

“I wasn’t allowed to, actually. It was frowned upon.”

“What do you mean?”

“Not considered suitable.”

At this moment Gussie sauntered over. “So you’ve met Georgie, have you? Jolly good. So I hear the relatives have also arrived for a few days. Shall you be visiting?”

“Relatives?” Felix asked.

“King and queen, old chap. Don’t be so dense. She’s Binky’s sister.”

Felix turned bright pink. “Oh, I say. I’ve put my foot in it rather, haven’t I? Talking about penny pinching and having to work for a living?”

I laughed. “We’re penny pinching like everyone else, and I’d love to work for a living.”

“There’s a splendid girl staying here who’s doing frightfully well in her own business. I’m terribly admiring,” Felix said. “Oh, here she is now.”

Belinda entered the room, deep in conversation with his lordship. From the chatty way that they parted, I found my suspicions running riot. She saw me and came straight over.

“Darling, what a lovely surprise. I had no idea you’d be part of this bun fight.”

“Belinda, what are you doing here?” I asked.

“Darling, have you ever known me to turn down a free meal? I told you I was going to the country. One simply can’t stay in London when the weather turns warm.”

“How is it that you know absolutely everybody?” I asked.

“One works at it, darling. It’s a matter of survival. With the amount I’m making from my fashion business at the moment, I’d starve, so it’s a question of going where the food and wine are good. And after all, we were at school with Fiona.”

“We loathed her,” I said under my breath. “Remember when she first arrived and would follow us everywhere? You told her awful stories about the upstairs lavatory being haunted so that we could have some peace and quiet there.”

Belinda laughed. “I remember.” She looked around the room. “I say, it’s rather a jolly party, isn’t it? Quite a few people you know, including Lunghi Fungy.”

“I’ve just heard he’s engaged to Fiona.”

“Been promised to each other since birth, darling. Nothing will come of it. Who could be married to someone who gushes about little woolly lambs?”

“She seems to think something will come of it. She even asked me to be a bridesmaid.”

“Then perhaps Lunghi is doing the sensible thing. After all, Fiona is an only child and she’ll inherit all this someday. Lunghi’s own family situation is precarious.”

“Aren’t the Fotheringays an old family?”

“But flat broke, darling. Old man lost everything in America in the crash of ’29, just like your father. Lunghi’s been out in India working for some trading company like a common clerk, so one understands.”

“I see.” I wondered if my mother knew this. Usually her instincts were spot on. Maybe his youth and extreme good looks were too much of a temptation.

With tea over we went upstairs to change for dinner. It’s funny how life at country houses is centered around one meal after another. And yet those who live such lives don’t seem to become overly fat. Maybe it’s all that tramping around the home farm, not to mention other energetic forms of activity around the estate. I let Mildred select a dress and jewelry for me and even attempt to make my hair look fashionable. The result was not displeasing. I came down again to find that the French doors in the drawing room were still open and Pimm’s and cocktails were being served on the terrace. It was a balmy evening. Swallows were swooping wildly overhead. A peacock was calling from the copse nearby—that unearthlyshriek that sounds like a soprano being killed with a saw. Groups of guests were already standing together, chatting. The three Misses Hedley were now talking with their cousin Fiona, all wearing almost identical green flowered dresses, which made them look like a living herbaceous border. Another group of younger guests, including Gussie and Belinda, were standing to one side, smoking and drinking cocktails, while the older set was clustered around Lord Cromer-Strode. I picked out Mrs. Simpson standing apart, hands on painfully thin hips, staring out across the park and looking displeased. Maybe she had expected a dinner partner who had been detained at Sandringham!

“Ah, here is the delightful young Lady Georgiana.” Lord Cromer-Strode came to meet me and put an arm around my waist as he steered me toward the company. “I’m sure you know the young folk, but you may not have met Colonel and Mrs. Horsmonden, just back from India, and Sir William and Lady Stoke-Podges, also old friends from colonial days.” He kept his arm firmly around my waist as he said this and, to my shock, his fingers strayed upward until they were definitely making contact with the underside of my breast. I didn’t quite know how to react, so I stepped forward to shake hands, thus freeing myself. A glass of Pimm’s was pressed upon me. We made pleasantries about the seasonably fine weather and the possibility of rain before the first Test match. Lord Cromer-Strode talked of getting together an eleven to play the village cricket team and there was heated discussion on who should be opening bat.