A Rocky Path (9 page)

“I see you haven’t told everyone what
happened yet. What are you waiting for? I know what I did was
horrible and I deserve for everyone to know and hate me for it. I
have really blown it now.”

Emily sighed. “Jamie, the only person I
talked to about this was Sam. And he isn’t telling anyone
else.”

Puzzled, Jamie asked, “Why would you keep
this to yourself? I tried to rape you! I could pretend that wasn’t
my intention, but that wouldn’t be the truth. If that man hadn’t
pulled me away from you, I would have hurt you. I’m a mean, nasty
drunk and I know what I’m capable of when I’m drinking. My life is
over now.”

Emily walked over to the bed and sat down on
the edge. She took his hand in hers. He tried to pull it away, but
she held onto it.

“Jamie, I know what you did was wrong. It was
a horrible thing. I was more scared last night than I’ve ever been
in my life. I knew you were going to hurt me and I was helpless to
stop you. But you were drunk and didn’t know what you were doing.
The worst thing that you did was start drinking in the first place.
Why did you do that?”

Jamie looked away. “I was feeling sorry for
myself because I wanted you, but you didn’t want me. The alcohol
was available last night. All I had to do was walk up to the bar
and get what I wanted.”

“Rebecca should never have served alcohol
last night. It was too tempting!”

“Don’t blame her, Emily. I’m responsible for
myself. She has had these parties before and I have never touched
it.”

“Then it’s my fault,” she whispered, tears
starting in her eyes.

“You aren’t to blame! Now stop that. It’s not
your fault you couldn’t feel about me the way I do about you. Maybe
you shouldn’t have kissed me that one night, but I shouldn’t have
taken a kiss to mean everlasting love, either. And taking that
first drink was my choice; nobody forced me to do it. I know
drinking isn’t the way to deal with rejection.”

“Jamie, I really did want to care about you
the way you do about me. I tried, but every time…I don’t know, it
just wasn’t right between us.”

“Is there someone else in your life? Someone
you have feelings for? Maybe that guy that kicked my butt, for
instance.”

Emily sighed. “I don’t know, Jamie. Maybe.
But I don’t want to talk about that right now.”

He accepted that. “So, you aren’t going to
tell Rebecca what really happened?”

“No, and I don’t want you to say anything,
either. I told them that you were drunk, fell, and hit your head.
What did you tell them earlier today?”

“I just told them I didn’t want to talk about
it. I had no idea what you had told them, so I wasn’t going to say
anything until I knew for sure.”

“Well, Sam knows everything, so let’s just
keep it all a secret between the three of us.”

“Four,” Jamie reminded her.

“Yes, four.”

“So, the real question is….do you forgive me
for what I did? I know I have no right to even ask that. I
appreciate the fact that you aren’t telling what I did, but that
still doesn’t mean you’ve forgiven me. I don’t know what I would do
if you hated me for this.”

Emily smiled at him. “I forgive you, Jamie. I
know that would sound weird to anyone who knew what happened. And
I’ll remember how scared I was for a long time. But I also know
that wasn’t the real you last night. I know there’s much more to
you than that. You made a big mistake when you took your first
drink last night. And it could have been much worse if my friend
hadn’t come along when he did. I don’t know how easily I could have
forgiven you then. But I don’t want you to ruin your life over one
mistake. You almost did that once and you worked hard to overcome
the guilt. I don’t want you to harbor guilt over this. Just put it
behind you. And if you ever take another drink, so help me, I will
throw you into the rose bushes myself. I just have to work out a
little more first.”

He smiled at her and held out his arms. She
hesitated at first, still feeling a little uncomfortable with close
contact with him, but then she relented and hugged him tightly and
kissed him on the cheek.

“Rebecca or Sam will be here this evening to
pick you up when you’re released. I’ll see you back at the
house.”

He grabbed her hand as she started to move
away. “Emily, you don’t know how much it means to me that you have
given me a second chance. I will never touch another drop of
alcohol as long as I live. I promise.”

“That’s good enough for me,” she said. Then
she turned and walked away, leaving him shaking his head at her
kindness.

When she got back to the car, she put her
head down on the steering wheel and started crying. This was just
all too much, and it was all coming down on her at once. She was
still reeling from the knowledge that Patrick had lied to her about
his family, and she knew she had to confront him about it tonight
if she was going to have any peace. And the realization of just
what could have happened last night if Patrick hadn’t been there
was just starting to hit her. Her emotions were kicking in and she
just needed to cry.

She had a pity party for about fifteen
minutes, and then she dried her eyes and started the car. She was a
strong woman and she wasn’t going to let any of this get her down.
Jamie was ok, and nothing serious had happened that he couldn’t
fix. And there had to be a perfectly good explanation for why
Patrick lied to her. Everything was going to be fine.

* * *

When she got back to the house, Emily went
downstairs to the room where she had found the paintings. She
studied the painting of the blond woman. She was so beautiful!
Emily wondered what her name was. Was this the woman who had
written the letters? And, if so, who was her lover? It almost
sounded like, from the journal she had read, that two men in this
mystery may have been brothers. Emily was getting more and more
involved in this mystery. She considered the possibility that she
was so enamored with this story because her real life was becoming
so complicated. It was nice to involve herself in someone else’s
life, especially if it kept her from worrying too much about her
own. She went over to the picture of the man who was identical to
Patrick. Who was this man? Was he the blond woman’s lover? Or was
he possibly the one who was being betrayed? Obviously there were
three people in this mystery. Emily knew she would go crazy if she
didn’t find out more about these people.

Emily went up to her room and picked up the
card Jarrod Connelly had given her. She dialed his number to set up
an appointment with him for lunch the next day. Maybe he could give
her some information about the house and its former occupants. She
looked forward to talking to the old man. He seemed to be pleased
that she was interested in the history of the house and readily
agreed to meet her for lunch.

Emily told Rebecca that she wanted to take a
long lunch the next day because she was going to visit the
historian. Rebecca was happy to let her do it because she was
curious about the house as well.

“Rebecca, why didn’t you ever try to find out
more about the house?” asked Emily.

“Well, I didn’t get embroiled in a mystery
like you did, so there wasn’t anything that really made me curious.
I guess I was so wrapped up in my writing, I didn’t think about it
much. But now that you have found the letters, journals and
paintings, my curiosity has been stirred up.”

“I‘ll let you know what I find out.”

“I’ll be anxious to see if you learn
anything. Hey, it’s time for Sam and me to go pick up Jamie. Sally
is coming, too. You want to come? While we are out, we can all have
dinner.”

“No, you go on. I think I’ll just hang out
here at the house. I’ll make myself a sandwich or something.”

Chapter Fourteen

That evening, after she had eaten a cheese
sandwich and some chips she had found in the pantry, she pulled a
sweater over her t-shirt. She knew it would be chilly. She put on
warm socks and her hiking boots. She was ready for her trek down to
the rocks, but she kept putting it off. There was just so much to
deal with. Patrick had been so hot and cold with her. That’s why
she had stopped going down there. Then when he saw she was being
attacked, he acted like a protective lover. She wondered if he had
decided to come to the party or if he was just checking up on
her.

And then there was the portrait. It was
titled “Self Portrait”, but no one had signed it. She was sure it
was one of the McCullochs. The man in the painting was the very
image of Patrick. Which means he
had
to be a descendant.
That meant that Patrick had lied to her about who he was. Why would
he do that?

She really dreaded going down there and
confronting him. She had no idea what she was going to say. It
would be so much easier if she didn’t have these feelings for him.
Emily knew she was in love, but also knew that Patrick couldn’t be
good for her. Not if he was going to lie to her. And besides that,
he didn’t care for her that way, so it was useless to dwell on
that, anyway. But she needed some answers, regardless of how
tonight turned out.

She made her way down the path and sat on a
rock. Patrick wasn’t there yet. Unless he wasn’t coming at all. But
he had asked her to come so they could talk about what had happened
at the party.

“Hello, Emily.”

He must have come up while she was sitting
here thinking and worrying. He sat down beside her.

“Hi, Patrick,” she said softly.

He looked at her for a minute, then reached
out and brushed back her hair, a gesture that confused her. Every
time he touched her like this, she got her hopes up, only to be let
down again. She jumped up quickly from the rock before her body
betrayed her and decided on its own to stay beside him. She had to
have some answers.

“I really need to talk to you, Patrick.”

“That’s why we are here, isn’t it? So we
could talk about what happened. Because you need to know why I got
so angry and did what I did?”

“I need to know a lot of things, but that’s a
good question to start with. Why
did
you do it? Why did you
rescue me? Was it only because you were feeling chivalrous or was
it because you cared what happened to me? I know that you would
have come to the rescue of any woman who was in danger, but you
were so angry!”

Patrick sighed. “Emily, I would have helped
any woman in the same situation. But I probably would have kept my
cool if it had been anyone else. When I saw that he was hurting
you, I had murder in my heart. It had been a long time since I had
felt that kind of rage. In fact, until I met you, it had been a
long time since I had felt anything.”

She sat back down beside him. She touched his
arm tentatively, wondering if he would pull away. Emily never knew
what to expect from this man.

“Patrick, what kind of feelings do you have
for me? I need to know the truth because I know you have lied to me
about other things.”

“What other things?” he asked.

“Let’s save that one for a few minutes.
First, I want to know what kind of feelings you have for me that
made you hurt Jamie.”

Patrick picked up her hand and traced the
lines in her palms. She shivered, surprised that the small gesture
affected her so strongly. Her body always reacted to him in ways
that she had never reacted to other men.

“Emily, I want to tell you so many things.
Especially about how I feel about you. But there is so much that
you can’t possibly understand. You don’t know me, not really. I
could be dangerous to you…especially to your heart.”

“Patrick, what could possibly be so bad that
you can’t tell me? I wish you trusted me more.”

“I do trust you, Emily. You are the first
woman I have let get this close to me in many years.”

“Someone hurt you badly, didn’t they,
Patrick? You’re afraid to really feel something, aren’t you?”

He lifted her palm to his mouth and kissed it
softly. Then he traced his tongue along the same lines that his
fingers had traced earlier. She felt her heart leap up into her
throat. She was filled with so much emotion that she was close to
tears.

“Sweet Emily. In some ways you are so
innocent and trusting. I bet you went to the hospital and saw that
maniac that tried to rape you. You forgave him, didn’t you?”

“Yes.” Her voice was barely a whisper.

“You are such a kind and loving woman, ready
to think the best of everyone. Please don’t give your heart to me,
Emily. I can’t keep it safe. And I don’t deserve it.”

“Patrick, please. Don’t shut me out. I need
you to talk to me and make me understand how you feel.”

He placed the palm of her hand against his
face and closed his eyes. There was so much pain in his expression
that her heart went out to him.

Then he let go of her hand and looked away
from her, his eyes looking out over the water. She waited for him
to speak, but he didn’t say anything.

She took a deep breath and said, “Ok,
Patrick, let’s talk about how you lied to me.”

He looked at her then. “What have I lied to
you about?”

“You are part of the McCulloch family that
lived in this house. You told me that it was just a coincidence.
Why would you have lied about something like that?”

Patrick paled visibly. He stood up and walked
away from her, turning his back to her.

“I can’t tell you. It’s a long story and not
one I can talk about.”

Emily jumped up, exasperated. “What is it
with you? Do you honestly think you could tell me anything about
yourself that would shock me? I’m twenty-nine years old and I’m not
that naïve.”

Patrick laughed without humor. “You have no
idea what you are saying. I could tell you things that would shock
you to the core. I could make you run back up to your safe, big
house and never look back at me.”