A Rocker and a Hard Place (14 page)

“Oh.”

A sudden silence descended on us, the only noise some chirping birds and a dog barking far down the street. Even in spite of all that had happened in the last couple of weeks, it still felt natural to sit next to Tyler on my porch, basking in a silence that required no words.

“Can I see him?” Tyler asked after several minutes had passed.

“That’s up to him.” As conflicted as I felt about Tyler’s potential role in T.J.’s life, I wasn’t going to let my romantic feelings toward him get in the way of them forming a relationship
. “I’ll go talk to him.”

T.J. was less than thrilled when I told him that Tyler was downstairs and wanted to see him.
He claimed that he wasn’t feeling well, and I had to admit that he looked paler than usual.

“You can’t avoid him forever,” I
said gently. I didn’t want to force him into it if he really wasn’t ready, but I also didn’t want him to miss out on a chance to get to know Tyler if he was just scared.

“Why did he leave town again?” T.J. finally put down his book to look at me. “And what if he leaves again and doesn’t come back?”

“He’s not going to do that.” I made my voice sound firm. “He only left to take care of work stuff. He might have to do that from time to time, but he will come back.”

T.J. sank against his pillows, looking more like a little boy than he had in years. “What if he doesn’t like me?”

“Are you kidding? Tyler already loves you.”

“But he wasn’t my father then.”

“Yes, he was. You just didn’t know it.” I patted his leg. “I’m not going to make you come downstairs if you really don’t want to, but I think you’ll be making a big mistake if you stay up here.”

Tyler and I only had to wait a few minutes before T.J. entered the living room.

“Hey,” he said shyly.

“Hey,” Tyler replied, his tone identical to T.J.’s.

That was my queue to leave. “I have some things to do in the other room so I’ll let you two talk. Why don’t you play a game or something?”

I left them alone, hoping that they would remember that they weren’
t strangers. Sitting at the kitchen table, I could hear them gradually begin to fall back into old rhythms. Before long, they were laughing and teasing like Tyler had never left.

Just a few minutes of listening to them relaxed me considerably.
So much so that the next thing I knew, Tyler was shaking me awake.

“You must really have been
tired to fall asleep at the table.” Tyler pulled up a chair near me.

“Where’s T.J.?” I rubbed sleep from my eyes and looked at the clock; it was well past his bedtime.

Tyler pointed up. “He went to bed.”

“Sounds like the two of you were having a good time.” I twisted my neck and rotated my shoulders. My
poor sleeping posture was going to leave me stiff for a while.

Tyler appraised me carefully. “Are we going to talk about what happened?”

“We already did.”

“That’s not what I mean.” His voice lowered. “You’re obviously upset with me and I suspect that isn’t just because of the arrest.”

There was no way to say it without sounding like a jealous girlfriend, so I just spit it out. “I saw footage of you leaving the police station. You weren’t alone.”

Confusion passed over his face.
“I don’t…. oh. That was a lawyer from the record label. Did you think-”

“She looked like a super model,” I said defensively.

“That’s how everyone looks out there,” he replied with laugh. “That can’t really be the reason you are so upset.”

It wasn’t until then that I realized he was right. The arrest and the pretty lawyer had been excuses for what I was feeling, but they weren’t the reason.

“I can’t see a future for us, Ty,” I admitted. “You have this whole other life and T.J. and I aren’t part of it. I don’t even want to be part of it. But I don’t see how we can have a future together if half the time you are in California getting in fights, or traveling around the world on tour.”

“We’ll make it work,
Em. I know right now it can seem intimidating, but we’ll find a way to make it work. I’ll sell the place in California and schedule tours in the summer so you and T.J. can come with me. Or I’ll quit performing.”

“I’m not asking you to do that-”

Tyler grabbed my hand. “I’m not saying these things because I think you’re giving me an ultimatum. I’m saying them because I want to do whatever I can to make this work.”

“What if it’s not enough?”

Tyler was back in my life now and I couldn’t imagine how hard it would be to lose him again.

“I can’t promise you that it will be enough. But I can promise you that I’m going to do everything I can and I’m not going to leave again when it gets hard. I’m all yours. I always
have been.” Tyler sighed and stood. “Take some time to think about it. You know where to find me.”

I stayed at the table long after he had gone, his words echoing in my head. I wanted badly to believe them, to trust Tyler. But I wasn’t sure I was ready yet.

I didn’t have a lot of time to think it over the next day because I had to rush to the store when Charles called about the power going out. Tyler agreed to take T.J. for the day, a novelty I still hadn’t quite gotten used to having in my life.

By the time I managed to get an electrician out to the store and get everything back up and running, it was almost dinnertime. I called Tyler when I got home and he agreed to send T.J. home right after they finished a game of catch.

Someone knocked on the door right after I hung up and I opened it curiously.

“Surprise.”

“Connor?”

A month earlier, we had been dating. It felt like years had passed since then.
So much had happened that my troubles with Connor seemed insignificant.

“What are you doing here, Connor?”

He laughed uncertainly. “We were just taking some time apart, Emma. Did you really think you wouldn’t hear from me again?”

I hadn’t actually thought about Connor at all in the last few weeks and that made me feel terrible.

“I’m sorry, you just surprised me.”

“I can see that.” He gestured past me. “Can I come inside? I think we need to talk.”

I stepped aside to let him in.

“Is the kid around?” He looked around the living room as if he expect to find T.J. crouched behind a houseplant.

“He’s out.”

Connor nodded absently. “Look, Emma, we can continue to make small talk, but I’m not sure I have the patience for it. Would it be alright with you if I just get to the point?”

“Please.”

“I was wrong to take off like I did. I thought that it was a good idea to give you some time to think about things, but that was stupid.
I shouldn’t have left; I should’ve stayed and fought.”

I started to interrupt, to prevent him from saying something else that would make me feel even
more guilty. “Connor- ”

“Let me finish. Please.” He held up a hand to stop my protest. “I just need you to hear me out.”

“Okay.”

“I love you, Emma. I know that you
have a lot of distractions in your life right now, but I don’t care about that. Just give me a chance.”

Again, I tried to interject but he kept going.

“I should’ve done this a long time ago.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring. “Marry me, Emma. Spend your life with me.”

My jaw dropped. A month ago, I might’ve said yes to Connor. He really was a decent man, and even though he wasn’t the love of my life, I had loved him. But that was before
Tyler returned to my life. I opened my mouth to turn him down as painlessly as possible but he didn’t give me a chance. He pulled me close, kissing me hard on the lips.

I pushed him away, but the damage was done. The front door slammed shut and I hurried to the window just in time to see T.J. running down the street.

Tyler

T.J. had been gone for less than five minutes before he returned, face flushed and sweaty.

“What’s wrong?” I demanded, instantly flying into protective mode.

“Mom,” he panted. “She’s going to marry Connor.”

“Slow down.” I guided him over to a chair and sat down across from him. “Start at the beginning.”

T.J. took a deep breath and started again. “I walked into the house and Connor was there. He asked Mom to marry him and then they kissed.”

I shuddered. “Are you sure about that?”

“Yeah.”

“What did she say when you asked her about it?” I tried to ignore the knot forming in my stomach.

T.J. shrugged “I didn’t stay. As soon as I saw what was happening, I ran here.”

“So your mom doesn’t know where you are right now?” I reached for my cell phone.

“Don’t call her!” T.J. grabbed my arm and looked at me with pleading eyes. “If you tell her I’m here, she’ll come get me. I don’t want to go home right now.”

“T.J., we have to call her. I’m sure she’s worried sick about you. And you should give her a chance to explain what you saw. It might not be what you think.” I hoped for my own sake that was true.

“No!” T.J.’s eyes welled up with tears. “Why are you taking her side?”

“I’m not taking anyone’s side, T.J.” I started to dial the phone. “We’re your parents and we can’t keep things from each other when it comes to you.”

T.J. jumped to his feet. “You haven’t even been around for the last ten years. I hate you!”

He ran from the house, his little legs pumping hard as he took off, heading in the opposite direction from his house. I took off after him, but was stopped at the street by Emma.

“Tyler!” she called, running down the street. “Is T.J. with you?”

“Not anymore. He was here for a few minutes, but he was upset and when I told him I was going to call you, he took off.” I pointed in the direction he had taken. “I was just about to go after him.”

“I’m coming with you,” she said.

A crash of thunder made us both look to the sky.

“Are you sure? It looks like it might start raining at any time. Maybe you should wait at the house in case T.J. circles back?”

“I said, I’m coming with you.” She started marching down the street and I hurried to catch up to her.

“Why was he so upset?” I asked, walking alongside her.

She kept her eyes straight ahead. “I don’t know.”

“Really?” I asked skeptically. “Because he told me that he caught you and Connor making out after he proposed to you.”

Her steps faltered. “That’s not exactly what happened.”

“Which part isn’t true?” I kept my head swiveling, looking for any glimpse of T.J.

“Connor did propose to me,” she admitted. “And he also did kiss me.”

“So it’s pretty much exactly what T.J. saw then?” I had been hoping it would be a completely different story, but that wasn’t the case.

Emma picked up her pace. “We can talk about this later, Ty. I just want to find T.J. before the storm comes in.”

“Fine. Where should we look? Does he have a favorite place? A park maybe?”

“We should try Aunt Karen’s house. She’s out of town, but he might’ve forgotten that.” Emma took a left at the intersection.

But when we got to Karen’s place, T.J. was nowhere to be found. The first of the raindrops started falling, splattering the ground. Emma pounded her fist in frustration against the front door.

“Where else would he go?” I asked, determined not to sound as panicked as I felt.

“I don’t know.” Emma looked around helplessly. “He could be anywhere. He’s live
d in this town his whole life and he feels comfortable here.”

“Should we split up?”

Another rumble of thunder followed by a crackle of lightening. The sky had turned an eerie shade of green.

“Maybe we should check your house again. If T.J. saw the storm coming, he probably went home.” It was a longshot and we both knew it, but we headed in that direction anyway.

A sharp wind kicked up, pounding at our backs as we hurried down the street.  It was raining even harder now and we were both completely drenched. When we were still a few houses away, a siren sounded loudly over the storm.

“It’s the tornado siren,” Emma explained, looking crazed. “We have to find T.J.”

“Let’s check the house and if he’s not there, I’ll go back out.” I tried to ignore the fact that the wind was now whipping around us.

Emma’s face was wet, partly from the rain and partly from worried tears. I put my arm around her and she leaned against me as the wind continued its assault.

“Mom!”

We both jumped, whipping our heads around until we spotted T.J. halfway down the street, running through puddles as he hurried toward us.

“T.J.!” Emma started toward him and suddenly time seemed to both stand still and rush by at the same time.

Lightening sliced through the air, striking a nearby tree. It split in half in a sickening crack and started to tumble down, heading directly for T.J.

Emma screamed and hurried faster. I darted after her, catching up to her just as a giant tree branch hurtled down. T.J. looked up, horrified, then threw his hands over his head. I managed to grab Emma and throw her to the ground, covering her for protection.

Leaves and branches crashed down around us and Emma trembled uncontrollably beneath me. “T.J.,” she said over and over until I pushed our way out of the debris.

Immediately we began to search for him in the wreckage around us. The pouring rain blurred our vision and made everything slippery. I reached the spot where I thought T.J. had been and started digging. Emma stood next to me, seemingly frozen.

“Tyler,” she said, her voice haunting.

“He’s going to be fine, Emma. He should be right under here…”

“Tyler.”

I glanced up, holding a hand over my eyes to deflect the rain. Emma was staring a few feet to our left and I followed her gaze, spotting a bright shoelace through the debris.

“Shit,” I said, lunging to the spot.

I tossed away limbs and other debris, at last spotting T.J.’s face.

“T.J.,” I yelled, sure that he would open his eyes the minute he heard my voice. I was wrong.

I swept away more rubble until I could properly assess his injuries. One leg was bent at an alarming angle and his forehead was bleeding.

“Call an
ambulance, Emma,” I said, ripping away the bottom of my shirt to use as a bandage. When I looked at Emma to see if she was following instructions, I found that she hadn’t moved an inch.

“Emma!” I tried again.

“He isn’t moving.” She mumbled the words like her tongue had gone numb. “Why isn’t he moving, Ty?”

I grabbed for my own phone and punched in 911. “He just got the wind knocked out of him. He’ll be fine.”

But as I gave the operator our location and explained the situation, a horrible feeling of dread descended over me. T.J. hadn’t moved even a fingertip, and his breathing was incredibly shallow. I held a hand over his forehead, willing the bleeding to stop, and did something I hadn’t done in over twenty years- I prayed.