A Rich Man's Baby (20 page)

I
'd never been so happy for Terrance to leave. I happily dropped him off at the airport. “Bye, baby.” I waved. He was going to be in Nebraska all week and I was going to spend the entire week with Kevin. He had a game tonight, and Camille and I were going. Camille loved Terrance, but she knew Kevin was my guilty pleasure. Before the game we walked down to the floor and spoke to him. Kevin was wearing his white and red warm-up suit, practicing his three-pointer shot. He saw us and came over to us.

“Hey, Kevin, you looking nice,” Camille said as they hugged. They hadn't seen each other in years.

“Thanks, I'm happy to be home. Everything is good.”

She smiled and told me he looked better than she remembered. We went back to our seats and watched the game.

After the game, Camille went with us to a Japanese sushi bar. We had so much fun joking and reminiscing about all the crazy things we did as undergrads at Georgetown.

When we got back to his place, Kevin surprised me with a diamond bracelet from Tiffany's.

“Thank you, Kevin,” I said as I looked at the beautiful bracelet. It went perfectly with my engagement ring.

“It's nothing. I just wanted to get you a little something to let you know I appreciate you.”

“I appreciate you too, Kevin.” Kevin sat up, looked at me, and said, “Damn, Dee, why is our timing always off? Why do we never seem to get it right?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I'm talking about now that I'm here and we can be together, you are about to get married to some lame dude.”

“Stop talking about him. He is a great guy, Kevin, and I just can't leave him. I love him.”

“I know and you deserve him. I guess I'm just selfish. I just want you to myself sometimes. All this time we've been spending together reminded me how much I love you.”

“I love you too!” I didn't know he felt that way, but there was nothing I could do about the circumstances.

 

I'd been at all Kevin's home games when Terrance wasn't in town. Kevin called me from the road and text-messaged me all day. Having him back in my life made everything go smooth. The little things at my job didn't bother me as much. I had something to look forward to when Terrance was gone. I was so supportive of Kevin, I switched our cable from DirectTV to Comcast so I could watch every game. Tonight, they were playing the Memphis Grizzlies and the referee had just called another foul on Kevin. Kevin was getting mad and about to argue with him. I was hoping he'd just walk away before he got ejected from the game. Just as I yelled at the television, “Kevin, just walk away,” I heard something at my door.
Oh my God, somebody's trying to break in,
I thought as I grabbed my cell phone, prepared to dial 911. I crept toward the door to see what and who it was. Then my door opened. I jumped and screamed loudly nonstop until I realized it was Terrance.

“It's me,” Terrance said as he entered the apartment.

“You scared me,” I said as I tried to regain my composure.

“Sorry,” Terrance said as he dropped his luggage off at the door. I turned the television off and asked, “What are you doing home?”

“I quit.”

“You quit.”

“Yup, I didn't even give them two weeks' notice. I'm tired of getting on and off airplanes. I want to plant some roots. We are only going to be young once. I don't want you being home by yourself anymore either.”

“So that's it, Terrance? Where are you going to work?” I asked mockingly.

“I will find a job; it is not that difficult. I posted my résumé with a headhunter and he will call me on Monday.”

“Where are you going to find a job making six figures just like that?”

“I thought you would be happy, Dionne.”

“Happy about you quitting, no. Why would that make me happy? You don't quit a job until you have another one. I don't like my job either, Terrance, but I didn't quit because I know I can't.”

“I'll find another job.”

“I sure hope so,” I said as I stormed into our bedroom and shut the door. Of all the times he wanted to think of me, why now? I was enjoying my time away from each other. How would I spend time with Kevin now?

I
was five months pregnant and already feeling so ugly. Miss Anne just kept feeding me and feeding me, and I was gaining weight like crazy. I put a French fry in my mouth and suddenly I was five pounds heavier. I gained forty pounds already. I'd been reading a whole lot, and most women gain only thirty to thirty-five pounds the entire pregnancy. My stomach had red stretch marks everywhere. I already started setting up my nursery together; it was peach and orange with animals and a bright orange sun. DeCarious had painters come over and paint a picture I saw and I liked out of a children's book.

I didn't think I would, but I was beginning to get excited about the baby. DeCarious's ass was even growing on me like I really lucked up on him and really loved him. I just wanted to look good for him and it is hard being this fat. I hoped I could get this weight off when I had the baby. I was in the den watching VH-1.

I needed help getting me off the sofa. I rolled over and waddled to the basement.

“DeCarious,” I called out. I kept saying his name. He didn't hear me, so I walked back to the home gym. He had the music playing loudly. I could just hear the song “The Champ Is Here” by Jadakiss playing loudly. DeCarious was working out lifting free weights.

“Boo, I want a milk shake, the kind from that restaurant downtown,” I said.

He said all right and called Rock and told him he ordered some food and to go pick it up.

“You can have whatever you want,” he said as he kissed me with his sweaty body.

“Now, let me get back to work so I can be on a Qwest Field dropping people left and right,” he said as he kissed his own muscle and flexed for me.

“D
ee, don't leave me anymore. I need you.” Kevin said as he grabbed my arm and I tried to get out of his bed after making love nonstop for hours.

“I can't stay, Kevin, Terrance is home. I told you he quit his job and he is home all the time. Until he finds another job, I won't be able to stay overnight,” I said as I released myself from his grip and began to button my blouse. Kevin stared me straight in my eyes and said, “I don't care. I need you here.”

I wanted to stay, but I had to get home. Terrance would be worried sick and kill me if I stayed out all night without an explanation. With all the reasons I knew I shouldn't stay with Kevin I stayed anyway. Somehow he persuaded me to get back in bed with him. I turned my phone off because I knew Terrance was going to call me all night long. I didn't know what crazy lie I was going to compose. I'd think of something by the morning, because right now God knows I was getting sloppy, but I didn't care.

 

When I walked into the apartment Terrance was already packing his clothes. Where was he going? Oh my God. I was really in a lot of trouble. I didn't say anything to him; I didn't know what to say. He heard me come in but looked right past me. I went into the bathroom when I heard him call my name. I ignored him; I wasn't ready to talk yet. I didn't have an alibi prepared yet. I stayed in the bathroom and ran the shower water as he banged on the door. My heart was beating so fast. What could I say? I couldn't even think of anything, so I didn't answer.

“Dionne, come out; you don't have to hide. I'm not going to argue with you. I'm leaving you. I can't take it anymore. I've been ignoring the obvious. You not being home. All your lies saying you were with Camille when you weren't, but you cross the line staying out all night. Are you crazy? You must take me not saying anything as being weak. I know you and your coworker James have something going on. I think you need a few weeks. I'm going to stay with my mom and sisters. Now, when I get back you can decide whether or not you want to marry me, buy our house, and have a family. I want to build a life with you. You know what, fuck it, Dionne. You're not woman enough to come out of the bathroom.”

I heard him leave and I came out to see if he was gone. He was right, I wasn't woman enough to tell him the truth. If he only knew it wasn't James, it was Kevin. I had to stop lying to myself. I never stopped loving Kevin, and he never stopped loving me. I already made my decision whether I wanted to admit it or not. I could live without Terrance, but I couldn't live without Kevin. I knew the life that I wanted was looking me in the face and I needed to seize it.

I
t had been a month and Kevin had not called me one time. I had been crying so hard I thought I was going to lose this baby. I was trying to give him some space, and hopefully he would have time to think and he'd realize he still wanted to be with me. But in my heart, I knew it was over and with good reason. If the tables were turned and I were him, I would leave me too.

“You still got his baby” were the only comforting words that Adrienne could provide me with. Instead of telling her how dumb she sounded, I hung up on her. She was my friend, but I just thought she was retarded. She didn't realize this was my real life. I didn't care about Kevin's money. I loved him. And it was never really about money. I wasn't taking him to child support court or any of that. If he wanted to get the baby he could and provide for him he could. I found out last week I was having a boy. I still hadn't told the children. I had to get ready for Alexis's prom and graduation, and just try to find another job, because they fired me for calling out so much.

Getting Alexis ready for the prom was taking my mind off everything crazy going on. She already had her date. It was a guy who worked at McDonald's with her. I met him and he was nice. I drove her to the prom warehouse store. She selected three dresses. I took a seat and waited for her to try them on. She came out in an aqua-green short cocktail dress. She was so pretty I stood in the mirror next to her.

“You like this one.”

“It's okay,” she said, staring at herself in the mirror.

“You going to have to find something. Because I'm not traveling all around the world to find you a dress.” She cut her eye at me; then she poked her lip out. I went back and had a seat. She peeked out the dressing room door and said, “I'm going to get this one. Now all I have to get is my shoes. Oh and, Mom, are you pregnant? You stomach is real big.”

I didn't answer; then I nodded yes.

“You are? Oh my God, I hate you. How could you do this to us? I'm graduating from high school and you have a baby.”

I approached her and she began bawling, “What are my friends going to say?” She didn't say anything to me the whole ride home; she was texting and crying. She must have texted Jamil because he stepped to me as soon as I got in the door like he was my father.

“Mom, first you kick Dad out, and now you're pregnant by somebody else. You got a new boyfriend you didn't even introduce us to. We don't even know this guy. Who is he? Why would you do this to Dad?” Then he started tearing up like he was three and somebody took a toy from him. He shouted, “You ruining our lives. Did you think about anybody else?” They were ganging up on me and I was not prepared. Alexis was on my left and Jamil on my right.

“I don't want no guy coming in here trying to tell us what to do and acting like he is our father,” Alexis yelled.

“That's not going to happen.” I explained to them that I had a boyfriend and we were happy about that baby. I put on my strong mom role, but once my door was closed I cried hysterically. Here I was telling my teenagers not to get pregnant, and here I was knocked up and not married at thirty-three. My life could not get any worse, and I tried to sleep off my anger. Then my phone rang in the middle of the night.

“Where are you?” Kevin's voice asked.

“At my house.” Kevin asked for my address and I gave it to him. I didn't know what he wanted it for, maybe he wanted to send me a paternity test or something. He hung up on me and I went back to sleep. Fifteen minutes after he called he was at my door. I opened the door and let him in.

“So this is where you really live? What's wrong with this house? Why couldn't you just be honest with me and bring me here?” he asked as he looked around.

“I don't know.”

Kevin told me he'd been thinking about me every day over the last six months. He took a look at my stomach and said, “You know I'm mad that you lied. How can I trust you, Tanisha? You carrying my baby and I don't want to be away from you, but you put me in a real bad position,” he said as he approached and hugged me.

“I know, I know,” I said as tears filled my eyes.

“I don't know why you would think I wouldn't want to meet your children, they are a part of you. Why would you hide them? Tanisha, I don't want to lose you or my child. I don't want to be that kind of man or father. Listen, you have to be honest with me from here on out. I want you back in my life. I need you back in my life. I just need you to be honest and truthful.”

We talked the entire night, and when Alexis and Jamil awoke I introduced them to Kevin and we all had a very long talk.

I
gave myself a few days to ponder over if I wanted to call Terrance and beg for his forgiveness. I wasn't ready to marry Terrance yet, and I think the finality about marriage scared me. I just didn't see him and me for the rest of our lives right now. So many things went through my mind, like was he going to find a job? Would he have enough money to support me? Would I be satisfied with him the rest of my life? And I came to the conclusion no. I called Kevin to tell him I was ready for him. I couldn't wait to see him; he'd been calling me and I hadn't been answering. But now that I was ready, I hadn't been able to get in touch with him. I eventually rang him, however.

“Dee, thanks for being by my side and helping me get through this rough patch in my life. I know I've been lost about what I want to do and I didn't know how to tell you.”

“Kevin, why are you rambling?”

“I got back with Tanisha. I'm going to stay with my lady.”

“You did what? How could you go back to her? Kevin, you just told me we should be together.”

“You right, I did just say that, but I changed my mind. I was wrong. I made a mistake. I wasn't thinking rationally. I shouldn't have tried to break up your relationship. You are jeopardizing everything for me and that's not right. We both have somebody and need to grow up and stop the games. A few days ago, I went and had a long talk with Tanisha; I met her children and we are going to work it out.”

“Kevin, don't do this to me, Kevin. I left Terrance for you. I broke up with him. I'm single; you told me we should be together.”

“I didn't tell you to break up with Terrance. Listen, sorry if I misled you, but I have to go.”

I actually was in shock as I listened to see if Kevin was going to provide me with a better explanation. After a few seconds of dead silence, I knew I was imagining things. Kevin had hung up on me. Did he say he got back with Tanisha after I left Terrance? Was he serious? I didn't know why Kevin couldn't see that ghetto-ass, nothing-ass bitch trying to come up off him. I called Kevin back and he didn't pick up. How did I let him slip away when I finally had him again? Our timing was definitely off, but I wasn't going to get upset. Kevin was making a big mistake and he would realize it.

Kevin had been on my mind. I was this close and I let him get away again. I thought I could handle it, but I couldn't. I couldn't concentrate on anything. I lost a juvenile case today I definitely should have won. Kevin wouldn't even answer my calls and that pissed me off. I couldn't believe he let Tanisha Butler back into his life. I went online and began looking into this chick. I was hoping I found something scandalous, so I could show Kevin and he could really be through with her. I ran her name in every database I could find. Within minutes I had everything on her besides her Social Security number. One thing was for sure, she didn't have anything on me. She was employed at a hospital and her last registered vehicle was a Dodge Stratus. I wished a car would hit her and she would just crawl back in the hole she came out of.

My frustration was beginning to turn to rage with Kevin. He could at least take my calls. “Kevin, why haven't you been calling me back? You better call me back. This is not making any sense. How are you going to choose that old bitch with three kids over me?” I yelled on his answering machine.

I was in my office and sulking; I still couldn't believe this was my life. Kevin was so stupid. I saw his number come up before I answered it. I walked outside because I knew I was going to have to yell at him.

“Hello.”

“Stop calling my phone, Dionne, talking crazy,” he yelled.

“How am I talking crazy when you are ignoring me and I'm telling you the truth? Kevin, you just didn't want to hear it.”

“Because I told you I got back with Tanisha. Don't call out her name no more. Didn't we have this conversation already, Dionne?”

“Kevin, don't talk to me like I'm a child.”

“Then stop acting like one. Stop calling me, harassing me before I get my number changed. Good-bye, Dionne.”

Kevin was becoming more and more disrespectful each time I called him. He hung up on me again. Ooh, if he was in front of me right now I would punch him in his face. I kept thinking to myself,
How is he just going to cut me off completely?
I thought about knocking on his door and trying to get him to talk to me.

The entire ride home from work I was thinking I was going to take a detour to Kevin's house. How dare he talk to me like that? I decided I was going to his house. I saw his truck in the driveway. I knocked on his door, but he didn't answer. I was going to stay until he came home and I was going to cuss him out.

Twenty-five minutes later, I was still in front of his house. He didn't come home, but she did. I slouched down so she couldn't see me. She wasn't even cute, and she looked tired and pregnant. Look at what he was dissing me for.

After waiting for him for another hour, I gave up. I walked up to the Range Rover. I thought about keying it, but that would be so immature. Oh, I hated him. If he wanted to keep taking up for this bitch, I'd do something to her. I didn't want her to think that this was something random. I wanted her to know it was a woman; that it was personal and I meant business. I wanted to leave her a message, something just to let her know how much I hated her. I pulled out my lipstick and wrote in cursive,
Watch your back, bitch!
I got back in my car and rode home, only imagining how her face would look when she went to get in it and she saw that. I wondered if she would tell him. I didn't care. I hoped she did, because he would never suspect it was me.