A Reluctant Companion (33 page)

“Yeah, why not?” asked Rosie. “He’s practically family.”

She gritted her teeth, but didn’t refute that statement. After all, she really didn’t want them to know she was having a baby with a man she hated…mostly…a little. “Papa?”

Callum sounded a little more hesitant. “It took some convincing, but Tiernan can be persuasive.”

She almost asked which family member he’d threatened in order to get her proud father to take a land deed and government contract, but held back. Again, she had the pesky need to preserve his image for them, since he was the father of her child. To be fair, she’d also have to be careful not to show anything but respect and courtesy toward him around the baby. “Well, okay then,” she said with a cheerfulness that felt forced.

Taking a breath, she asked, “Where’s Cam?”

“He’s at the winery, helping put up fencing around the new acreage.” Callum made an ambiguous sound. “I tell you, I don’t know what’s gotten in to that boy. He just disappeared for six weeks and then came back looking bedraggled. Stubborn cuss won’t tell us a word about where he’s been, or what he’s done.”

“Hmm, I can’t imagine why,” she said with as much innocence as she could muster, though part of her wanted to reveal her brother’s actions for the past few weeks, partly to punish him for his stupidity, and partly so her father could be on the alert for him to do something else rash. That was Eric’s job, so she kept her silence.

“How are you, Madi?” asked Rosie.

“Tired.” A yawn accompanied that.

“Tell Tiernan to let you sleep.” Rosie giggled and then stopped with a pained choke. “Um, sorry, Papa.”

Callum cleared his throat, and the conversation moved to other things. Madison didn’t get the chance to tell them about the baby and decided she would wait when her father mentioned Elaine was doing well enough that she would probably be able to come with them next week. She blinked back tears, wishing her mom were there to counsel her, and lamenting that she would be able to talk to her next week, but couldn’t really tell her anything.

She just hoped Tiernan gave up soon. Madison was ready for his attempts at amends to be over so they could go about their separate existences. She didn’t think he’d let her visit her parents while she was pregnant, but she hoped to be able to shortly after the birth so they could meet her child. As a compromise, she would ask him to bring her family to her, but she was going to insist he let her see them. That was sure to work, because he always listened to her so well, she thought with a bitter twist of her lips. If he listened at all, he would have already accepted she no longer wanted to be with him. Still, he couldn’t keep trying forever. Being a practical man, he would have to accept defeat as long as she remained strong. He had to, for both their sakes.

Chapter Twenty

God, he was stubborn, and she was getting frustrated. They had been engaged in a battle-of-wills for five weeks now. She hadn’t given an inch in her determination to make him accept she no longer loved him, and he hadn’t surrendered at all in his quest to regain her trust and love. Every night, she fell asleep in his bed, oftentimes waking pressed against him in a parody of a loving embrace. Each time, she had found the strength to pull away and go on as though nothing had happened.

If only she could convince her damned hormones that nothing was happening and wouldn’t ever again, at least not with Tiernan. It was getting incredibly frustrating to have him so near, but not able to reach out and touch. Oh, she knew he would readily accept any overtures she made, but that was tantamount to giving in. She couldn’t do that.

Not that she was certain why at this point. Was she still so hurt and angry that she couldn’t believe he was contrite? Was it just too unbelievable to imagine he truly meant it each time he said, “I love you,” which occurred with a frequency that alarmed her equilibrium? Was she still punishing him to get back at him for the way he’d let her down by believing the allegations of betrayal? Was she absolutely certain she could never love or trust him again, and that no future was possible? Or was it to torture him? She didn’t like to contemplate that she could be so vindictive, but there was an element of truth in it.

She sighed as she looked for clothes that would be comfortable for her burgeoning belly. At sixteen weeks, she was getting a nice bump, but it made a lot of her clothes fall in the not-quite-fits range. Her regular clothes were too tight, and the maternity clothes were still too big.

Taking a moment, she cataloged the contents of the closet. All her beautiful dresses and sexy lingerie remained where they had hung before her incarceration in the cupola. Tiernan had asked her to be his hostess at several functions, but she had always declined. It sent the wrong message to be at his side when they weren’t really a couple. Didn’t it? Or was it another childish way to hurt him?

As she flicked through the loose dresses in the maternity wardrobe he had presented her with two weeks ago, her eyes fell on the jewelry box. Tugging randomly, she removed a green silk dress that floated around her body and slipped it on as she gave in to the compulsion drawing her to the small wooden container.

She opened the lid to stare at the pink sapphire pendant, where it rested in a place of honor on the velvet tray. Hesitantly, she reached out to touch it, wavering a millimeter way, as though the metal was hot. Why was she so reluctant to pick it up? Recalling how heartbroken she’d been to discover he’d withheld it when transferring her modest possessions to the cupola cell, she brushed her finger against it. The necklace did seem to radiate warmth, though she knew that was simply her imagination.

In one quick motion, she snatched it up, holding the pendant tightly in her hands. For a moment, she had a strong compulsion to break it and present it to Tiernan as proof that there was nothing left between them. Even as she considered that, her heart cried out in protest, and she gentled her grip, stroking her thumb over the gem instead. Holding the necklace, she had to admit maybe things weren’t as hopeless as they had seemed.

Sitting down in the closet, she forced herself to examine the overtures Tiernan had made to heal the breach in their relationship. Other than what he’d done for Cam, Susan, and her family, he had made a multitude of little gestures as well. There had been small gifts, including a basket of Satsuma oranges that must have been difficult to acquire. She squirmed with shame, remembering how she had left them to rot in the basket, until they were soft and spotted. A maid had whisked them away, hopefully to someone with more appreciation.

There had been the night he’d brought her a bedraggled little puppy. “His mother was run over by a wagon, but one of the soldiers rescued the puppies. This little guy is the only one not spoken for.”

She had turned away from the puppy, unable to see its—and his—pleading eyes and remain unmoved. “I’m allergic to dogs,” she had said in a cold voice and left the room, fully aware he would remember the dogs at her parents’ house. When she returned later, the puppy had disappeared, and she hadn’t asked where it had gone.

Madison put her head in her hands as she recalled the gruff way she had rebuffed his offers to rub her back when she had mentioned it was starting to bother her. A sound almost like a sob escaped her as she thought about the few times he had tried to reach out and touch her belly. She had always withdrawn, not able to stand the thought of his hands on her in such an intimate way—because she had known the tenderness in his expression would also be in his touch, and how could she remain immune to that?

She had deliberately and ruthlessly ignored the eagerness in his eyes as he examined her changing body. Madison had denied him any information about the progress of the pregnancy and had refused even a simple stroke to let him feel the changes for himself. All because she had known it would threaten her emotional wall, and she hadn’t been ready to let it tumble. He hadn’t paid enough yet for what he’d done. God, she had been so petty.

He had hurt her, but she had spent the past five weeks doing the same, in spades. Were they even yet in her childish little war? Would she continue to ignore his silent cries for mercy, or was she ready to yield? Could there still be a future with Tiernan, or had they both done too much to each other to fumble through and find their way out the other side?

She didn’t know, and that, along with crippling guilt, brought tears to her eyes. Stroking the necklace, she sat in the closet for a long time, crying and questioning herself, him, and their future.

*****

Tiernan looked up as he reached for his wine, catching Madison’s gaze on him for the third time during the meal. Considering she normally did her best to avoid looking at him and generally refused to speak to him, his heart leapt at the faint hope it was progress. “How was your day?” he asked, expecting nothing more than a monosyllable.

She sipped water before giving him the tiniest of smiles. “It was fine. I was horribly lazy and spent the day reading.”

His heart skipped a beat as he considered that might be the most conversation she’d parted with for days. “That sounds like a sensible way to spend your day. You and the baby need your rest.”

Madison grimaced. “I’m rested out.” She touched the tip of her tongue to her lips, as though nervous. “Would you please let me return to the clinic, even for just a few hours every week?”

Disappointment welled as he came to the conclusion she had been pleasant because she wanted something. Frowning, he said, “I’m concerned you might overdo it.”

Madison cocked her head. “Can you imagine Susan letting me do much of anything? I’ll probably be lucky to update charts or handle intakes.”

That was true. He knew from conversations with the other woman that she remained concerned about Madison, despite her progress and return to good health. In fact, it might be ideal, having her under the watchful eye of the healer for a few hours per week. “All right, on a couple of conditions.”

She nodded, looking like she was bracing herself for something terrible. “Of course.”

“You must take Vinny and Figg, along with the car, and please limit it to only a few hours each day. Are those terms agreeable?”

Madison inclined her head, looking surprised. “Yes, that’s very reasonable.”

Tiernan shot her a sour look. “I’m not always a tyrant.”

Her lips twitched. “Of course not.” She returned to her meal, surprising him by asking about his day. Since he’d capitulated to her request, he’d expected her to return to her usual silence. He replied with small talk, sure she didn’t really want to hear the excruciatingly boring details of his day.

“Have you found more rebel cells?”

Tiernan nodded, reluctant to discuss the details. “A couple. Things ended badly.”

She frowned. “How so?”

“Lots of death on both sides.” His appetite suddenly deserted him, and he pushed away the last of his dinner. As he got to his feet, she did the same, wincing. In a flash, he was by her side. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Is it the baby?”

She smiled that gentle smile, the one that never failed to twist his innards into knots. “No, it’s just my back. It hurts.”

Fully expecting rejection, he made the same offer he’d extended several times before. “I could rub it for you.”

After the briefest hesitations, as though she was deciding something more important than if she would let him give her a massage, her smile widened a bit. “Thank you. That would be nice.”

He tried not to let his mouth hang open in shock. With a brisk nod, he took her arm carefully, still afraid she would jerk it away and flee like a scared rabbit. When she didn’t, he led her to the bed. “Why don’t you get comfortable while I find some oil?” At her nod, he left her to go to the bathroom. He stood for a moment in front of the mirror, counseling himself not to read too much into the subtle signs that she was perhaps letting go of some of her anger and sense of betrayal.

His heart still raced with excitement when he scooped up the oil and returned to the bedroom in just a few steps that bordered on running. Tiernan almost skidded to a halt when he saw her lying on the bed, facedown. She had discarded her dress over the foot of the bed and tucked the sheet over her bottom and legs, leaving her upper back bare.

His cock twitched, and he had to take a moment to regain control, which was tenuous, as he walked over to the bed after rolling up his sleeves. It was damned ridiculous to have the raging hormones of a teenage boy over the sight of her creamy back laid bare before him, but he was about two seconds from losing it. Touching her was going to be both delicious and torturous.