A Reason to Rebel (23 page)

“Well, there you are then.”

“Yes, but I still do not see the need to involve either of you in our affairs. Mr. Porter will be qualified in a few months and my sister will come of age shortly thereafter. They will then be in a position to marry, and there is nothing my father will be able to do to prevent them. Why risk Mr. Porter’s position unnecessarily?”

“You appear to have lost sight of the fact that it is not just your sister’s reputation at risk here, Estelle. It is yours, and Matthew’s, too.”

“Mine is of no consequence.”

“If you really believe what you say, then you cannot have considered the matter from society’s point of view.”

“Indeed I have.” She bridled at the suggestion that she was too woolly-headed to reason the matter through. “But I do not give two figs for other people’s opinion of me. I do not intend to remarry or be beholden to any man ever again. Instead I shall seek a position as a governess or companion, after I have seen Marianne settled and Matthew restored to health, naturally.” She whirled away from him and unfastened her pelisse. “And I do not require society’s approbation to follow such a path.”

“What you say is true but you appear to have overlooked the fact that in order to gain employment, you will first require a character. If your father’s activities were to be generally known, who would provide you with one?”

He followed her example by removing his hat and gloves and setting them on the table alongside her own. It was a strangely domestic action that caused regret to weigh heavily on her heart. He followed the direction of her eyes, raised his own, cool amusement reflected in them, almost as though he could sense the attraction she felt towards him on the rare occasions when she allowed it to creep beneath her guard. His superior response angered her, tamping down her regrets and reminding her that her silly infatuation was a lost cause. Lord Crawley must be accustomed to women flinging themselves at him and she had no intention of joining their ranks.

She put up her chin and averted her eyes in an effort to reclaim the moral high ground. “I daresay Miss Frobisher would offer me employment in her school, were I to approach her and explain my predicament.”

Alex merely chuckled. “Possibly; if that is the sort of occupation you would find fulfilling. However, knowing what I do of your character, I seriously doubt it.”

“You know nothing about me.”

“I beg to differ.” His grin was annoyingly smug. “No, m’dear, there is no help for it, I am afraid. We must resolve your difficulties with your father before you embark upon your search for a suitable occupation. If we do not, you will be tainted by association. The narrow-minded gentry will close ranks against you and you will be a lost cause.” His expression, far from being full of condescending superiority as she half expected, was instead compassionate. “You are far too attractive for the comfort of many of the ladies who might otherwise have employed you. They would seize upon your father’s public disgrace as an excuse to turn you away. In other words, your situation would become untenable and I would not have you exposed to such bigotry.”

“Yes, but—”

“And Matthew’s hopes of obtaining a position as a steward would be dashed too. No one would wish to employ a young man, however personable and enthusiastic, if his father’s activities became fodder for the scandalmongers.”

“All right, put like that, I do not see how I can prevent you from following your plan through, since you appear so determined. Thank you,” she added, aware that her behaviour had been far from gracious when he was going out of his way to help her.

He responded with a courtly bow. “The pleasure is all mine.”

“But that is what you intend to do, is it not?” she asked, moving away from him. “To expose my father’s misdeeds, I mean.”

“No, indeed. I have something else entirely in mind.”

“Then what? Perhaps you would have the goodness to explain your thoughts, since the outcome of your actions is likely to impact upon my life, not yours.”

A tap at the door heralded the arrival of their supper.

He chuckled at her fit of pique. “I will explain it all to you later, but let us eat first.” He directed the maid to the table in front of the window and held a chair for Estelle until, with a rebellious toss of her head, she condescended to be seated.

“Now, what do we have here?” He lifted the covers and peered into a tureen. “I am famished. Ah, beef broth, if I am not much mistaken, and mutton stew. It smells delicious. Can I serve you, m’dear? A glass of wine to wash the dust from your throat, perhaps?”

Alex entertained her throughout the course of their meal with discourse wholly unconnected with her father. He spoke of his mother in affectionate terms and of the Crawley estate generally. He explained the improvements he planned to the tenants’ cottages, asking her opinion about matters connected to the church, rolling his eyes as he explained about the new drainage system he was grappling with.

Estelle, who was acutely aware of the anticipatory atmosphere between them, said little. If Alex noticed her abstracted state he made no mention of it. She wondered if he knew when offering her the seat which faced directly into the room that the huge bed would fall into her sphere of vision every time she looked up from her plate, testing her determination to resist its temptations. She glanced at the compelling sophisticate seated across from her, his eyes fastened on her face with an expression of amused expectancy. His long fingers were linked round the stem of his glass and slid absently up and down its length in much the same way they had caressed her body the previous night.

She gulped and looked away. She could not in all conscience blame Alex for what had occurred between them since she had all but signified her willingness when she brazenly suggested they share the same bed. For the first time in her entire life she had put aside common sense and acted upon her impulses, enjoying her moment of quixotic madness and unable to regret it.

But it would not be repeated tonight. The landlord had anticipated yesterday that he might have another chamber vacant this evening. Estelle could not recall if Alex had asked him about it when they had returned earlier but would certainly remind him to do so. He had been at pains to make it clear to her this afternoon that their brief intimacies had no specific meaning for him. Well, no more did they for her. She would behave with dignity from this point onwards and had no intention of clinging.

“You were going to explain your strategy for dealing with my father and Mr. Cowper,” Estelle reminded him as soon as the maid had taken away the remnants of their meal.

“That I was.” He offered her his arm and led her to a comfortable chair in front of the fire. “If Cowper falls for the bait, he will assuredly either recover the papers he has stashed somewhere—”

“But what if it is not written down?”

“Then we are unlikely to succeed. However, I do not for a moment consider that anything that valuable would be trusted to one individual’s memory.”

“Then let us hope you are right.”

“Yes, let us hope that.”

“I can see your logic, I suppose.” Estelle furrowed her brow and assumed a distracted expression to avoid meeting those compelling eyes. “And so he will recover the papers. And then what?”

“He will either recover the papers or at least check to see that they are still where he left them. I have sent for three trustworthy footmen from my London establishment to meet me in Wapping tomorrow. They will follow Porter to the meeting with Cowper and thereafter keep Cowper under constant surveillance.”

“And so they will know if he has the papers with him and, if not, where they are hidden.”

“I am confident that will be the case. And if he has them with him my men will, if circumstances permit, accost him and relieve him of the burden.”

“But how will that help our cause? It will prevent my father from obtaining what is not rightfully his and, perhaps, remove his desire to see me married to Mr. Cowper. But it will not tell us if he had my husband killed.”

“No, but I am hoping Cowper will volunteer that information himself.”

“Hmm, I do not see how you can possibly achieve that end. Cowper is nobody’s fool.”

“Just trust me.” He smiled at her. “I have not let you down yet, have I?”

“No, you have not.” She made the concession and dropped her eyes, unprepared for the depth of feeling she thought she could see in his resourceful face.

“Well then.” He turned towards the door.

“Where are you going?”

“The tap room.”

“Oh.” Was he trying to tell her that he had no desire to share a bed with her for a second night? Was her inexperience such that he could not bear the thought of repeating the act? She bridled. It was one thing deciding she did not wish to be seduced but quite another for him to reject her. “I see. Well, do not let me keep you from your brandy.” She turned away so that he would not see the hurt in her eyes.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.”

Leaning over her, he grasped her chin and tilted her head backwards. “Something is on your mind. Tell me what it is.”

“Did you speak to the landlord about another room?”

“Yes, unfortunately there are still none available.”

“How tiresome for you.” She twisted her chin out of his grasp and stared at her lap. “The sofa will have to suffice for you tonight in that case.”

“Is that what you want?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t believe you.”

So angry was she by his insufferable arrogance that she forgot how dangerous it was to meet his gaze and lifted her eyes to his face.

“What a thing to say! You, sir, are the most presumptuous, self-opinionated, disrespectful gentleman it has ever been my misfortune to encounter. You can go and sleep in the stables with the rest of the animals as far as I am concerned.”

She stood to face him, blazing with anger, even as her insides churned with a very different emotion. He wanted her! He was regarding her with elaborate circumspection but could not quite disguise the raw passion in his expression as he met her gaze and held it. There was a raffish smile on his lips but he did not speak. Obviously the decision was hers to make and she knew he would respect it.

She sighed, wracked with indecision. All this prevarication, pretending a disinterest she did not feel, suddenly seemed pointless. She was aware that another such opportunity would not arise. Whatever happened tomorrow, she would not be spending another night in the same chamber as Lord Crawley. She could not take back her actions of the previous night and suddenly the urge to repeat them threatened to overwhelm.

But that did not mean she would make matters easy for him. He deserved to pay for his presumption. He was still standing directly in front of her, watching her closely, and she suspected he gauged the exact moment when she reached her decision. With an extravagant sweep of her lashes she lifted her eyes to his rugged features and treated him to a sultry smile of capitulation.

“The tap room,” she remarked. “It sounds compelling. Pray do not let me detain you.”

“You, madam, must have been what God had in mind when he created Eve. Adam has my sympathies.” His tortured expression became a tender caress. “Are you sure?”

She smiled in a beguiling manner. “Perfectly sure.”

She spoke so quietly that the words were barely audible. But he must have heard them because he reached for her, drew her into those strong arms of his and kissed her. He kissed her with such burning passion that it robbed her of what little breath she had remaining.

She melted against his body, greedy for all he was offering, beyond caring about making him suffer. All she cared about now was the vortex of desire spangling through her in dizzying waves that left her gasping and desperate for more. He appeared to sense her need, expertly teasing and caressing until she cried out with the pleasure of it all. He was bringing her eager body to life with a speed that ought to have been indecent.

Well, if that’s what it was, then indecency was vastly underrated. She abandoned herself to the exquisite shards of intense sensation cascading through her and willed the moment to last forever.

–—

Alex watched her as she slept, her lips swollen from his kisses. Her hair was a tangle of unruly curls spread beneath her naked body, and her silken limbs were still entwined with his. There was so much he had wished to say to her but having made such a ham fist of things the previous afternoon he had hesitated, in the end allowing his actions to speak for him. Now, his passion temporarily sated, he tried to decide precisely what it was that he
had
wanted to say. Unlike most of the women he dallied with, she appeared to have few expectations and did not require anything from him that he was not prepared to give. So trying to set boundaries for their relationship had perhaps been insulting.