A Proscriptive Relationship (16 page)

“
The road, Lance,” I snapped, batting his hand away from the radio. “Pay attention to the road!”

He laughed. “Chill, I can drive fine.”

I rolled my eyes. “Right. Where are we going anyways?”

“
A place downtown,” Lance responded vaguely.

I immediately thought of Mr. Heywood’s warning. It felt like he was foreshadowing something. I quickly shook the thought of my head. It wasn’t like anything could happen inside the restaurant.

When we arrived, I relaxed completely. It was brightly lit and the parking lot was right next to the building. We even got the parking spot closest to the building. Lance shut off the car and quickly got out. I unbuckled myself and opened the door. There was a thump and a grunt. I looked out the window and Lance was standing there, rubbing his hand.

“
What are you doing?” I asked, waiting for him to move back a few steps before opening my door fully.

“
I was going to open the door for you,” he told me.

I smiled. “There’s no need. I can do it myself.”

Lance frowned at me. “You don’t . . .”

“
Don’t what” I asked.

“
Oh, never mind,” he said with a sigh. “I should have known.”

“
Should have known what?” I demanded, frowning deeper.

Lance put his arm around my shoulder. “Forget about it.”

“
I wanna know now.”

“
Too bad.”

I fake growled at him. He poked me in the side. “What are you? A tiger?”

I ignored him and he continued poking me.

“
Stop poking me, Mr. Hey—” I cut myself off when I realized what I said.

Lance raised his eyebrows. “Mr. Heywood?”

I blushed. “Sorry. I meant Lance.”

Lance’s mouth turned down slightly and he sighed again. “I knew it.”

“
Knew what?”

“
Sorry, talking to myself,” he said with a wink.

“
Lance!”

He chuckled and led me around a corner to the entrance of the restaurant. It seemed like a pretty casual place. I didn’t know what Mr. Heywood was thinking when he said this was a date. It was two friends going out to dinner together.

“
Name?” a young man dressed in a suit asked almost as soon as we entered.

“
Lance and Holly,” Lance told him.

The man looked down at a piece of paper and after a moment he nodded. “Follow me.”

“
You had to make reservations at a place like this?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.

“
Believe it or not, this place is really popular.”

I took in the amount of people that were in the restaurant. Every booth and table was full. Lance noticed me looking around and smirked.

“
Told ya.”

“
Shut up.”

The waiter stopped at our table and Lance and I took our seats, opposite of each other.

“
Can I start you off with something to drink?”

“
Coke,” Lance and I responded at the same time.

“
Jinx! You owe me a coke!” I said quickly.

“
Sure. But you pay for dinner.”

I frowned. “That’s not fair.”

Lance shrugged. “For what you did, I think it’s fair.”

“
What did I do?” I asked.

Lance sighed, shaking his head. “Never mind.”

I glared at him. “What’s up with all the ‘never minds’?”

He sighed. “Do you think this is a date?”

I shook my head quickly. “Not at all.”

Lance smiled but I could tell he wasn’t happy. My mouth opened a little when I realized what he was trying to imply.

“
Wait. Did you mean for this to be a date?”

Lance forced a little laugh. “Maybe.”

“
Oh,” I responded, staring at him. “Crap. Lance, I’m sorry—”

He held up his hand. “Save it. I figured you thought we were just going out as friends. I was just trying to be a jerk by letting you know what I thought. But I got it now.”

“
I feel bad though,” I responded. “I didn’t know you liked me like that.”

Lance laughed. “Wait a second. Don’t think that I like you like that.”

I looked at him curiously. “What?”

He shrugged. “I thought I might. That’s why I took you out to dinner.”

I raised an eyebrow. “But . . . you don’t?”

Lance snorted. “Even if I found out I did, it wouldn’t matter.”

“
Why?”

“
Your stupid lover boy. Well, man.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “I don’t have a lover.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Oh come on. Do you think I don’t know?”

“
Don’t know
what
?”

“
You and that teacher.”

“
Mr. Heywood? Whoa, no!” I responded, raising my hands. “There’s nothing going on between us!”

Lance rolled his eyes again. “Maybe not. But it’s obvious you like him.”

“
I don’t!”

“
You stare at him all the time in class.”

I felt my face heat up and I looked down. “I do not.”

Lance shook his head. “Out of all the people you could like, it had to be a teacher, huh? And not even a good teacher. There’s something strange about that guy. Or dangerous. And I don’t like how he looks at you either.”

I snapped my head up to look at Lance. How good of an intuition could one person have? He got it straight on that I liked Mr. Heywood, but he even thought something was dangerous about him? That was crazy. That was . . .

Wait, what did Lance say?

“
What do you mean how he looks at me?” I questioned, my heartbeat increasing slightly.

Lance scowled. “I don’t know how to describe it. Sometimes it’s like he’s worried. Sometimes it’s like a mother looking at her child. And sometimes it’s like how you look at him.”

I stared at Lance, my eyes wide. He returned my stare, his eyes slightly narrowed.

“
There’s something up with you two. It may not be romantic, but there’s something,” he accused.

I forced out a laugh. “No, there’s nothing going on between us.”

“
Holly,” Lance started seriously, “do you really plan on lying to your best friend?”

He was right. I didn’t want to lie, but it wasn’t exactly like I could tell him either.

“
Even after you thought this wasn’t a date when I thought it was?” Lance added, heaving a loud huff of air. “I see how it is.”

I couldn’t help an apologetic smile from spreading onto my face. “I said I was sorry about that.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “You’re lucky I’m not head over heels for you. ’Cause then this would suck completely.”

“
Do you like me or not?” I demanded, crossing my arms. “How come you can’t give me a yes or no answer?”

“
Because, like I said, it doesn’t matter if I do or not.”

“
How would you know?”

“
Would you go out with me if I said I did?” Lance asked.

I hesitated, biting my lip. “Um . . .”

“
There you go.”

“
But—”

Lance held up his hand. “I know there isn’t a way for you to like me right now. So that’s why I’m going to stop myself from liking you before I can really start to.”

“
How?”

“
Tell me you’re in love with him.”

I blushed again. “I’m not in love—”

Lance raised his eyebrow. “Okay, so maybe not in love. But I know you like him. Now say it. Otherwise I’m going to fall completely in love with you and ruin all your chances with any boy until you love me back.”

I scowled at him. “Ok.”

Lance smirked. “I’m waiting.”

I took a deep breath. I didn’t want to admit this. Not even to myself. But I didn’t want to lead Lance on. He was my best friend. And I didn’t want to lose him.

“
I . . .” I stopped, looking down at my lap.

“
Say it. Look at me.”

I looked up at Lance and stared him straight in the eye. “I, Holly, have a stupid crush on my stupid teacher.”

Lance’s face lit up. “Thank you! At least you know it’s stupid. And you know it’s illegal, right?”

I raised an eyebrow. “Do I look like an idiot?”

Lance smirked. “Do you really want me to answer that?”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “I know it’s illegal, Lance. Just because I like—”

“
Love.”  

“—
Like
,” I repeated forcefully, “him, doesn’t mean I will be romantically involved with him.”

“
You’ve admitted you like him!”

“
It’s something I will never repeat again, Lance,” I told him, looking back down at my food and picking up a piece of bread and putting it in my mouth.

“
Even when you confess?” he responded, sounding confused.

I nearly choked on the bread. I swallowed and looked at Lance, my eyes wide. “I’m not going to confess to him!”

Lance looked at me bewildered. “Why?”

“
Because,” I started, chewing on my lip.

“
Because why?”

“
It’s illegal, Lance,” I told him, looking at my lap. “Not only is it illegal, people think it’s disgusting. Even just talking about it, people get these disgusted looks on their faces.”

“
That’s why? You won’t confess because people will think you are disgusting?”

I looked back up at Lance, surprised by his angry tone. He stared at me, his mouth twisted into a small scowl.

“
It’s not only that,” I responded, casting my eyes down again. “He could lose his job. And I’d be in trouble too.”

Lance scoffed. “So what?”

I stared at Lance in surprise. Wasn’t he the one who said in the beginning of the year that it was creepy for a student to like a teacher?

“
If you really liked someone Holly, you wouldn’t care about any of those things,” he informed me, his mouth pressed into a firm, straight line. “There’s nothing wrong with two people liking each other! In a year, you won’t even be a student anymore. And there isn’t even that big of an age difference between the two of you.”

My mouth was slightly open now. “Why do you care?” I managed to ask, still in slight shock by his outburst.

“
Because, Holly,” Lance started with a sigh. “You’re my best friend. I care about you a lot, in a friend way,” he added quickly.

I laughed. “Yeah, we’ve been over that.”

“
Anyways, I want you to be happy. And if being with that teacher is what will make you happy, I’m going to support it. Even if I don’t like it. And if you say you can’t be with him, I’m going to force you to be with him because I know that’s what you want.”

I suddenly felt like crying. My eyes were beginning to water, so I blinked rapidly to keep any tears from spilling over. I swallowed a lump in my throat too. Lance was too sweet. He cared about me much more than I deserved. I wasn’t nearly as kind to him.

I remembered the time I had left him all alone at the fair. And how he had come to my house just to make sure I got home okay.

I was the hugest asshole ever.

“
Whoa. Holly, what’s wrong?” Lance asked, leaning forward. “Why are you crying?”

I shook my head. “I’m not . . .”

How could Lance have figured out so many of my fears about liking Mr. Heywood so quickly? I hadn’t even mentioned anything about that at all, and yet he managed to figure out my deepest secret. Even after all that I had done to him . . .  he still wanted to help me.

I rubbed my eyes and then reached my hand across the table, grabbing Lance’s. I squeezed it and he returned the squeeze. “Thank you, Lance.”

“
You’re welcome,” he responded, a warm smile on his face.

“
You’re the best friend anyone could ever have,” I told him, giving him a watery smile. “And I’m sorry for ditching you that time at the fair, and when you called because you were worried. And—”

Lance laughed, cutting me off. “Holly, we are best friends. Not lovers. You’re making me feel like we are a couple that are making up after a huge fight.”

I chuckled, pulling my hand away. “I guess you are right.”

Lance nodded. “And since we are speaking of couples again, good luck with that teacher.”

“
He has a name you know,” I responded, frowning slightly.

“I don’t like him for taking you away from me, so I won’t call him by his name,” Lance responded, rolling his eyes.

“
Taking you away from me?” I echoed.

“
You know. If you two start dating or something, I’m sure you won’t have time for poor old Lance.”

I shook my head frantically. “I’ll always make time for you! And Casey!”

“
You promise?”

“
Promise.”

Lance laughed. “Good. And while you’re at it, you can help me with something.”

“
Anything,” I told him.

“
You have to help me find a girlfriend, “ Lance said with a wink.

I grinned. “Sounds good.”

Lance returned my grin. I suddenly felt at ease. Like all my worries about liking Mr. Heywood went away. I could actually say that I liked him, and nothing in my mind made me want to deny it. I could say it.

“
I like Mr. Heywood,” I said aloud.

Lance raised an eyebrow. “I know . . .”

“
I like him!” I repeated, smiling. “I actually like him. Out of all people.”

Lance pursed his lips. “Are you okay?”

I laughed and nodded. “I’m fine! After talking to you, it feels like a weight has been lifted off me. It feels nice.”

“
Hmm, maybe I should become a counselor, then.”

I froze, staring at Lance. Him? A counselor? I could imagine the poor person he was counseling now. Lance would ask what was wrong, and the person would reply about something in their life that was bad, and Lance would go, “Oh. Sucks to be you.”