A Promise of Forever (24 page)

Avi sat on the sofa. Sadie studied her a long time, standing unnaturally still, before taking a step toward her.

“She’s a little timid. I think maybe she’s like a lot of us. She lost the only family she knew, and now she’s afraid to get close to someone new for fear they’ll leave her, too.” Jessy shrugged. “It can be hard trusting again. At least, it was for me.”

Avi continued to watch the dog while considering what she knew about Jessy. Her husband had died a few years ago, and she’d had a tougher time than anyone realized. But just this year, she’d met and fallen in love with Dalton Smith, and she seemed not just happy but peaceful. “It was worth the effort, wasn’t it?”

Jessy flashed a high-wattage smile. “Absolutely.”

Sadie came still closer, until her head was bumped against Avi’s leg. After sniffing her carefully all over, Sadie lifted one foot onto the couch, then another, then levered herself up to sit next to Avi. She was warm and sweet and didn’t overwhelm by springboarding off a chair, the way Sundance would have done. Avi stroked her ribs, and Sadie’s legs slowly slid out from beneath her until her head rested on Avi’s lap and the scratching was on her belly.

“So Sadie could have another two or three or five years in her,” Avi said.

Jessy nodded. “None of us have expiration dates tattooed on. Just like you and me, she’ll live the time left her, and she’ll go when it’s time.”

“What happens if no one adopts her because she’s too old?” The thought made Avi cringe inside, but it was something she needed to know.

“We’re a no-kill shelter. We’ll find her a foster family or keep her here. She’ll be fed and petted and loved the rest of her life. It just won’t be the same as having a home with a mama.”

Avi gazed at the dog who trusted her enough to close her eyes with a heavy sigh. She understood Beth not wanting to fall in love with an older dog who was doomed to die in the next few years. By choosing a puppy, she was increasing her odds of more fun and a lot longer time before the inevitable heartache.

But Avi knew a lot about heartache. She knew she could survive it, for starters. Sadie could help her survive. Giving the dog a safe, happy, healthy place to spend the rest of her years would do some incredible healing for both of them.

She raised her gaze to Jessy’s. “I’m moving to Georgia on Saturday, and in exchange for a hefty deposit, I can have a pet. Can I adopt her?”

Jessy studied her a long time. “I hope so. I’ll put in my two cents’ worth on your behalf.”

And that was how, on her way to Tulsa later that afternoon, Avi stopped at the shelter to pick up a beautiful, bathed, groomed, and newly microchipped tennish-year-old best friend who loved riding shotgun in a classic red ’65 Mustang convertible roaring down the road.

Oh, and Sundance got a sister, too, a cute, cuddly mixed beagle whose ears were longer than her legs, whom Beth was determined would answer to the name of Nyla. Sundance was adorable. Nyla was cute.

But Sadie ruled.

Ben let himself into the loft that evening, his mood lighter than it had been since Sunday. He’d missed sleeping with Avi Sunday night—not the sex, though that was damn good, but being able to reach out and touch her, hold her, feel her, and hear her heart beating. He’d missed it even more Monday night. Tonight, even if all they did was share space, it would be enough.

He closed the door behind him and kicked off his shoes nearby. Avi’s purse was on the dining table, her flip-flops next to the sofa. She’d left a Sonic cup on the coffee table, and a dog—

He stopped abruptly. There was a dog on his couch, watching him with sleepy eyes. He/she/it was significantly bigger than Sundance, and significantly blacker, and he—it looked a lot warier. “Avi?” he called.

“Yeah?” she replied from the bedroom. The dog jumped at the sound of her voice, ran down the hall, and skidded around the corner. By the time Ben made the same trip, with a little more grace, he hoped, the dog was standing behind Avi, face pressed between her knees to peer at him. “Doc, you scared my pupper. Sadie, it’s okay, baby. This is Ben. He’s my sweetie, and this is his house, so suck up to him, huh? Shake hands.”

Faintly trembling, the dog slithered out from behind her and offered her right paw. Ben felt foolish, but if it pleased the girl in his life, he would please the girl in her life. “Hey, Sadie,” he said softly, taking her paw gently. After a moment, he slid to the floor and ran his hand along her spine, from neck to tail, giving a gentle massage along the way. She sank onto her belly in front of him, rested her chin on his foot, and lay still so he could do it again.

“How old is she?”

Avi sat down, too, the bed at her back. “Nine or ten.”

“Shouldn’t she be at home with the family who’s raised her this long?”

“If they were decent people. One of Dalton’s neighbors saw someone dump her on a country road. She chased them until she couldn’t run any more. When he went looking for her, he found her exhausted by the road, so he took her to Jessy, who took her to the shelter, where most people don’t want older dogs.”

Something warm and sweet twinged inside Ben. “Avi Grant, of course, isn’t most people.”

“I couldn’t walk away from that face. She’s scared, she’s been abandoned, and she doesn’t know why. I can make her feel safe and loved again. How incredible is that?”

While they’d been talking, Sadie had been moving, just a few inches at a time, scooting closer to them. Finally she climbed onto his lap with her back end, settled her front legs and head on Avi’s, and gave a soft, shuddering sigh.

“Welcome home, Sadie,” he said quietly as he slid his free arm around Avi. “You’ll be the best-loved dog in the entire state of Georgia.”

Avi rested her head on his shoulder. “You’ll still be the best-loved doc in the state of Oklahoma.” She paused, then hesitantly asked, “Have you given any more thought to driving to Augusta with us? It’s okay if you don’t want to. I was just…wondering.”

Unable to meet her gaze, Ben shook his head. “I’m used to being the one left behind. I don’t think I can be the one doing the leaving.”

She wrapped her fingers around his. “It’s okay. Really.” But her voice sounded kind of thick, and he was afraid if he looked, there might be a sheen to her eyes. “Sadie has just discovered the joy of riding in the front seat of a convertible. I’m not sure she’d be willing to give it up for the backseat so soon.”

After a moment, she sniffed. “But we don’t have to talk about that. Sadie and I have much more important things on our minds, namely what’s for dinner? Her tummy’s been rumbling ever since we left Tallgrass. I think she’d love a Fat Guy’s burger if we could find someplace decent outside to sit and eat.”

“They have tables outside, though I don’t know if they allow dogs. If not, we can find a place in Reconciliation Park. Let me get changed.” He started to push up, but Sadie pushed down. “Sadie, let me up, sweetie.”

She pushed even harder.

Grinning, Avi took pity on him. “Sadie, wanna go for a walk?”

The old girl jumped pretty agilely and trotted down the hall, then circled back to wait on Avi. “We’ll meet you at the door. Bring extra money. Sadie’s got an appetite.”

It took Ben just a couple of minutes to change. By the time he’d shoved his feet into sandals and stuck his debit card in his pocket, Avi was wearing her shoes and Sadie had on a lime-green leash to match her collar.

“She moves pretty well,” he remarked as they started along the street toward Fat Guy’s. “She doesn’t seem to have any problem with stiffness.”

“Meredith—she’s the vet at the shelter—says she’s healthy. Just sad. If no one had adopted her, they would have kept her and Jessy would have loved on her every day, but that’s not the same as having a home where you’re special.” Avi gave him a sidelong look. “You should probably consider adopting a dog. They have a lot that need homes. Or maybe even a cat.”

“I have to say, adopting a pet has never crossed my mind.”

“Until now.” She flashed him a grin. “It’s in there now, and you’ll find yourself considering it after I’m gone because you’ll miss me.”

He didn’t admit that he was considering it now, and it had nothing to do with missing her. It was what she’d said earlier.
I can make her feel safe and loved again. How incredible is that?
To have that kind of impact on someone else’s life…pretty damn incredible.

And, yeah, maybe it would help him not to miss Avi so much. At least he wouldn’t be totally alone.

“Why would her people just dump her?”

“Jessy says some people can’t afford their pets any more, or they don’t want the hassle, or maybe it was the kids’ dog and the kids have grown up and moved out, or a guy moves in with his girlfriend and when they break up, he leaves his dog there and she doesn’t want it.” Avi shrugged. “They should be shot. The least they could have done was leave her at the shelter. She could have been hit by a car, attacked by coyotes, bitten by a copperhead…” She muttered an obscenity Ben had never heard her use before.

“How is she going to fit into your life when you move?”

“Beautifully,” she said with a matching smile. “She’s old enough and calm enough that she’ll be fine while I’m at work. I’ll walk her before and after work, and I’ll get her a crate to use if she wants it, but I’m not Mom. I like the idea of snuggling with her on the sofa or in bed.”

“You sound well informed.”

“I’ve been talking to Jessy, plus while they groomed her, I was online checking out pet websites. Sadie’s my firstborn. I have to take good care of her and yet spoil her, too.”

Ben slid his arm around her shoulders, pulled her close, and kissed her hard. When he released her, she said, “Wow. What was that for?”

“No matter what happens, Avi, I’ll always be glad I met you.”

For a moment, she looked as if she wanted to speak, to give voice to the heartache that briefly appeared in her eyes, but she smiled instead and rested her head on his shoulder as they continued to walk.

Then why can’t we work this out?
That might not have been what was on her mind, but it was certainly on his. He loved her. She loved him. They had the great beginnings of a perfect family, with Sadie the firstborn. Why couldn’t they resolve their issues, get married, give Sadie two-legged siblings, and live happily ever after?

Because some issues were unresolvable. Because they were selfish. Unreasonable. Or maybe it was just him. He’d wanted to fall in love, and
boom
, there was Avi. He could marry her, could live the rest of his life with her. He should be putting a For Sale sign on the loft, resigning from his practice, telling Sara and Brianne and the kids
I can love you and be a part of your lives in Georgia as well as here.

He could, should…Couldn’t? Or wouldn’t?

So he was selfish, unreasonable,
and
a coward. Avi deserved better.

And she would probably find it in Georgia.

After dinner at the Three Amigos with the margarita girls, Lucy went to bed with a heavy heart and woke up Wednesday morning feeling as if she couldn’t breathe. Her chest was achingly tight, her skin was prickling, and she had an overwhelming urge to cry. Rolling onto her side, she turned off the alarm clock, calculated the time in California—three forty-five—and pulled the covers tighter. Across the room, Norton’s rubber ducky squeaked as he got up, stretched, then trotted down the hall.

She should get up, too, brush her teeth, and get dressed. Norton liked to eat before going for a walk, and he surely needed to pee. If she didn’t want to clean up his favorite indoor spot—the middle of the kitchen floor—she really should get moving.

Instead she pulled the covers over her head, hiding in the gloom but finding no comfort.

“Happy birthday, Mike,” she whispered. The words felt as empty as her bed, her life, her heart. Most days she did all right. She coped. She was even happy. But then a special occasion would come along, or maybe nothing special at all, and her heart broke all over again. This was the seventh birthday Mike had missed. Seven years that he could have been living and making babies and making life better for everyone around, including—especially—her. Seven birthdays that neither she nor his mom nor his grandmother had been able to hug him, kiss him, or watch his goofy faces as he blew out the candles with all the excitement of a kid.

Norton’s whine at the back door was silenced by a couple of clicks: Joe had let himself in with his key. He’d held the door for Norton, and now, she knew from experience, he was filling the dog’s water bowl and dishing out his chow. He would get the leash from the hook by the front door, set out a granola bar for Lucy, and let Norton back in. Then Lucy had five minutes to put in an appearance.

She should have begged off last night. He would have asked for an explanation, but she could have given him any of a hundred excuses. She could even have pled pure laziness. She’d done it before, and he’d let her. Once.

Quiet footsteps sounded in the hall an instant before Joe rapped on the open door. “Luce? You okay?”

“Hmm.”

“You’d think, dealing with teenagers every day, I’d have interpreting grunts down to a science, but I’m not sure whether that one means ‘Yeah, I’m fine,’ or ‘Go the hell away.’”

Despite the protection of the covers, she squeezed her eyes shut. She usually planned ahead for this day. The first three years, she’d taken vacation and gone home to mourn/celebrate with family. The next two years, she’d taken the day off work and stayed in bed. Last year she had treated it as an almost normal day: She’d gone to work; she’d spent hours on the phone with her mom and Mike’s; and Marti had come over that evening after work with three half gallons of ice cream and two jars of caramel topping. They’d gorged themselves, watched TV, talked, and cried.

She’d thought that had been a turning point.

She had been wrong.

Norton’s ducky squeaked again, courtesy of Joe’s size fourteen shoes, then landed with a thud on his bed. A moment later, the empty side of Lucy’s bed sagged beneath Joe’s weight. “Come on out of there, Luce.” He caught a fistful of fabric and began pulling it away, slowly exposing her.