A Private Affair (21 page)

She spun around and glared at him with a rage he’d only seen in his father, who’d terrified him as a boy. “And you made certain of that.”

***

She smelled biscuits. Carissa walked into her apartment and swore. Biscuits only meant one thing…

“You’ve been a bad girl,” Sara said, closing the oven.

Carissa flopped down into her couch. “I don’t need this right now.”

“You’re lucky I intervened. You haven’t worn your third pair of stockings yet.”

“Who cares about stockings? I—”

Sara set a plate of biscuits on the table. “Haven’t looked at your instructions for weeks and I bet you haven’t said your oath in while.”

“I really don’t—”

She sat in front of her. “I was instructed to come back before you ruined everything. They were going to send Rania.” She sent Carissa a pointed look. “But that would have been ugly. She is not pleased with you, because you’re ruining a good thing.”

Carissa rubbed her forehead.
Who was Rania?
“I really don’t care.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, you’ve gotten what we promised. Kenric loves you and he’s not ashamed of you.”

Carissa shook her head, fighting back tears. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t deserve to be his wife. I don’t deserve to meet his family.”

“You’re not your brother.”

“I’m ashamed that it took two failed marriages to finally find the right one, that—”

Sara held up her hand. “Excuse me, but have you missed the big point? He loves you.”

“And I cannot accept that.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s too precious a gift for someone like me.”

“Remember the oath?”

“I don’t give a damn about the stupid oath. All this shouldn’t have happened to me. You should have chosen someone else. I’ll never forget the look of pain on his face as he told me about his sister. He comes from a good family. To tie himself to us would be laughable and cruel.”

“Are you worried about what other people will think again?”

“No, this is what
I
think.”

Sara pulled out her cell phone then held up a picture of Carissa and Kenric laughing at the beach. “Why doesn’t this man deserve this woman?”

“I didn’t say he didn’t deserve me, I said I didn’t deserve him.”

“I know what you said, but that’s not my question. This woman here makes this man happy, he wants to spend his life with her. Does that make him stupid?”

“No.”

“I’m here to support you because the next step will be hard.”

“Next step?”

“Your third set of instructions are to wear your last pair of stockings to a place that scares you. Are you ready for that?”

She could already feel her palms getting sweaty. She knew what finding out the truth really entailed and she felt strangely bereft without Kenric. She’d learned to depend on him so much. “Yes, I’m ready. But do I really have to wear them there? Couldn’t I—”

“No, you have to face your past.”

Her past was a smooth looking man with golden-brown eyes and a slick grin. Her ex husband, James Pinker, could charm a bird out of the sky. It was his charm that had blinded her, he was also an expert liar. Although she’d told Kenric she was used to liars, James still scared her. This was his second time inside, but he’d be out soon and right back to doing what he’d always done. But she was determined to get the answers she needed, no matter the consequences.

“Baby girl you’re looking fine,” he said taking a seat in front of her and acting as if they were meeting in a fancy restaurant instead of the jail’s visiting room. “Wow, how come you never dressed up like this for me before?”

Carissa glanced over at the bars on the windows, the sight a reminder of the cramped apartment she’d shared with him. “I have something to ask you.”

“I’m doing well.”

She shook her head. “That’s wasn’t it. Did you know about my brother?”

“Did I know what about your brother?”

“Don’t play innocent with me, he told me you introduced him to your line of work.”

He lifted his brows. “You got him talking? I’m surprised. Disappointed, really.”

“So it’s true?”

“I thought I was being generous, sharing my expertise with a younger man who wanted to improve himself.” James grinned. “He was a natural.”

“He was so good he killed a girl.”

James yawned. “Your brother never killed anyone. If he said he did, he’s just bragging.”

“Bragging?”

“You know, trying to make himself look big.”

“I know what it means, but how could anyone brag about killing someone?”

He looked at her as if she were naïve. “You know the world better than that, baby. Fear gets respect.” He looked her up and down. And she knew he noticed her fitted two-piece outfit, and chocolate colored fishnet stockings. “You know, they allow for conjugal visits.”

“I’m seeing someone.”

“He doesn’t have to know.”

Carissa ignored him. “Did you know anything about the Riverton overdose? It was about fifteen years ago. I know you used to keep track of them like it was a game.”

“Not a game baby, business. I needed to know where my money was coming from. If a client died, I needed to get a new one.”

“So what can you tell me about it?”

“Wasn’t my route.”

“James, you know something.”

He scratched his cheek, thoughtful. “When your brother stopped supplying her she went to Cracker. You know like after…what was that…yea, Cracker Jacks? Do they still have those boxes with the little prize inside? He was the same. You were always in for a surprise. The worse kind out there. I always provided the highest quality. You could count on it, but his product was complete sh—”

“I get the point. Where is he?”

His expression grew serious. “Why do you want to know?”

“Because I have some questions.”

“What are you doing? You found out about me and left this life years ago, why dreg it all up? Stay away baby, don’t let your brother drag you down. You’re a classy lady.”

She sniffed. “No, I’m not, but you always were a good liar.”

“It’s the truth. Baby, I used to delivery to multi-million dollar mansions, Rolls and Bentleys, there was one chick who dropped twenty-five thou’ a week on clothes, don’t ask me how I know, I just like knowing the ones who can pay me. I saw them all, and sure they had money and degrees, but I could tell the classy ones from the money hoes. You know, the ones if you stripped them of their cash, they’d have nothing left. You may not have their shine, but you have the class.”

“That’s a really nice speech,” Carissa said, sounding bored. “But it doesn’t help me.”

“I’ll telling you to let this go. Your brother didn’t kill anyone.”

“I just need to verify—”

“Why? What does it have to do with you? So some rich girl died because she had nothing better to do, it happens all the time.”

“I know her brother.”

“So why isn’t he here talking to me?” James glanced at her handbag. “You’ve got his balls in your purse or something?”

“I told him not to come.”

“So he’s letting you go after crap like Cracker to get the answers for him?”

“No, I told him—”

James’ eyes widened. “And he listened to you? There’s no way a real man would let his woman….” He paused then started to grin. “You didn’t tell him what you were going to do, did you?” He winked. “I guess I did have a little influence over you? What does he think you’re up to?”

“Just tell me where Cracker is or I’ll find him myself.” She stood, her plastic chair scraping along the concrete floor.

“You said he’s one of the Rivertons?” He gave a low whistle. “You do aim your sights high. Let me guess, he’s the mean one.” He laughed at her expression. “Do you think information stops flowing because I’m in here?”

“All I want is a name.”

“I want to meet him.”

“That’s not going to happen. If you won’t help me, I’ll find him myself.”

“You think it’ll be that easy? You think you can just do a search online?” he said miming typing on a keyboard. “That name’s too common.” He tapped the table. “If he’s not man enough to come here, he doesn’t deserve the truth.”

She didn’t want Kenric there. She didn’t want him to meet James. But she knew he knew the major players and that could help Kenric. However, letting James know he was the one in control was always a bad move. She needed a different strategy.

He flashed a nasty grin. “And keeping secrets makes you no better than me.”

What he said hurt her. He was right. She was doing to Kenric what James had done to her. Charming him with lies, manipulating him with tears. Didn’t he deserve to know the truth too, no matter what the consequences? She should leave. She didn’t want to be there. She glanced down at her stockings and then remembered the last part of the Black Stockings Society oath.
I will never settle for less.

No, she wouldn’t settle for James winning again, for her brother making her feel that Kenric was out of reach, or feel that she’d never leave her past behind. She looked at James with new eyes. He looked too cocky and assured of himself. She wasn’t going to expose Kenric to him. James was her problem and she’d take care of him. She saw him clearly and knew who she was dealing with. He hated anyone who did well and she knew it was only a power move to have Kenric come to him. To have him on his territory. She wouldn’t allow him that victory. Fortunately she knew he had weak spot.

“Heard your son’s doing well,” she said.

The cocky light in his eyes dimmed. “No need to mention him.”

“Be a shame if he got caught with anything illegal.”

“You leave my son—”

“Give me a name and address.”

“I’m just trying to protect you.”

“You never tried to protect anyone unless you got a payout. Now give me a name.”

“It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t use that name anymore,” James said, then told her what she wanted.

***

Carissa drove away from the jail, her hands shaking as she gripped the steering wheel. She’d survived and felt vindicated. James wanted to tear her down, but instead, she felt free. She knew the truth and she wouldn’t be ashamed of her past anymore or her brother’s. She looked at herself in the mirror and didn’t mind what she saw. Now she could face the Rivertons. She couldn’t before, when she had so many questions and she questioned her worth. It wasn’t until this moment that she realized how much she’d hated being herself. How long she’d wanted to get away from her name. She’d married young so she could distance herself from it. Yorks weren’t any good. Seeing her brother succeed had given her some pride back. Then to hear the truth ripped it away. Before, she couldn’t feel Kenric’s love for her, no matter how many times he said it. But now she could.

Because she was no longer ashamed of
who
she was and where she came from. Her brother’s choices weren’t hers. She had been able to face James, but knew there was one more person.

***

It was so unfair,
Lina thought as she slammed her car trunk closed and carried three bags of groceries towards the apartment’s entrance. She saw a man ahead of her go inside the apartment complex and close the door behind him. She silently called him a foul name. When she was pregnant it was so much better, people were a lot more considerate. She struggled to open the door then headed to the elevators, seething and feeling sweaty. Even though the calendar said autumn the day still felt like summer. Right now she wished she could be at the pool.

She wouldn’t even have to do this if Carissa hadn’t changed. Carissa was supposed to be helping her with her duties as a new mother. She couldn’t believe nobody wanted to help her. Her mother had lasted a week, her mother-in-law two. Was it her fault that Jeremy was a miserable baby? That he cried the moment he woke up and hardly stopped until he was asleep? Was it her fault that her nerves were always on edge? Even Glenn hadn’t been his carefree self. If Carissa hadn’t been so selfish none of this would have happened. She’d made the right decision to keep her out of their lives.

It wasn’t fair,
she fought back tears as she unpacked her bags in the kitchen
.
She missed Carissa. She missed how much she took care of her. Why had she abandoned her at her greatest time of need? It was Kenric’s fault. Kenric had changed her.

Glenn came into the kitchen as she put the final item away. “Do you need help?”

Lina looked at him annoyed and closed a cupboard. “I wish you’d asked me that five minutes ago.”

He kissed her on the cheek. “I’m sorry.” He looked around the kitchen. “Where’s Jeremy? Is he taking a nap?”

Stark terror descended as a horrible realization struck her. Lina grabbed her keys and raced to the door.