A Private Affair (13 page)

“I knew it,” she said slapping her desk with false outrage. “You don’t want me.” She came around the desk and stood in front of him. “You just like the food. You want me to cook you lunches and—”

He laughed. “Yes, you got me. I just want you for your cooking,” he said letting his gaze slide down her body in a slow, sensuous study.

Carissa cleared her throat. “My eyes are up here.”

Kenric kept his gaze focused on her legs, showing the same intent of a hungry lion spotting a gazelle. “I know where your eyes are.”

She returned to sit behind her desk. “You’re worse than your brother.”

His eyes met hers. “Only when it comes to you.”

She swallowed. “We cannot do this.”

“There’s a restaurant near my apartment. No one from Simus Labs goes there. It’s not far and no one will be paying attention with us leaving separately.”

Carissa bit her lip. The idea was tempting. No,
he
was tempting. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“I’m not sure I trust myself.”

“I’ll make sure no one knows about us.”

She was taking a risk, but she didn’t care. “Okay, it’s a date.”

***

Carissa spent the next week in heaven. Her secret lunches with Kenric were the highlight of her day. At the office, they could communicate without words, just a look or a nod from him made a jolt of delight course through her.

During a department head meeting, she couldn’t keep her eyes off him, but this time she didn’t see a hatchet man, instead she imagined him with his shirt off, which definitely wasn’t professional. When she saw the senior VP, Nathan Cole, send her an odd look, she straightened in her seat and returned her thoughts to the topic of the meeting. Nobody could know what was happening between them.

Nathan came into her office. He was a slick man with commercial white teeth, who’d once tried to block Carissa’s promotion due to her lack of a college degree. Although she’d won him over, she didn’t trust him. “Riverton’s definitely a hardass,” he said taking a seat. “Not sure there will be much left after they’ve finished cutting us up.”

“At least those of us left don’t have to worry about losing our jobs,” she said. “It’s basic restructuring.”

“Are you actually starting to believe that BS? You think that talking puppet really knows what Barra Industries is planning for us? Do you actually think he gives a damn? Don’t be naïve.”

“I don’t think he’s hiding anything. I think he’s been forthcoming and truthful.”

Nathan flashed an ugly smile. “So is that how you’re going to play it? You’re going to swallow whatever he shoves at you because of a crush?”

“You’re way out of line.”

“Am I? One moment you’re talking to Wexler about how much you hate him…oh, you think I didn’t hear that? And the next you’re defending him like he’s our savior.”

“Don’t exaggerate. I may not like everything he says or does, but I respect him as a professional.”

He shrugged. “Hey, I don’t fault you. If I had an advantage I’d try to use it too.”

“Advantage?”

“He’s a straight guy and you’re a woman. You want to keep your job so—” He winked at her. “You want the boss to like you.”

“I am not trying to—”

“Come on York. It’s obvious. Everyone’s noticed your new look and attitude. And you look great, there’s no denying that. If I weren’t a married man—” He stopped when Carissa shook her head, sending him a warning stare. “I’m here because I want to give you some advice. Give up. You’re wasting your time with Riverton, so stop embarrassing yourself.”

Carissa felt like falling through the floor in humiliation—people thought what she had was a one-sided crush?—but she managed to keep her eyes and voice steady. “I am not going after Riverton to keep my job. And I don’t want to hear you say that again.”

He stood, resting a hand on his chest. “I’m not the enemy here. I’m only trying to help you keep your dignity. I’ve noticed how you’ve looked at Riverton and I’m not the only one. Make sure he doesn’t notice or you’ll get hurt. You’re not used to men like him. The truth is, he’s a cold son of a bitch who’d never give you the time of day.” He turned and walked out the door.

Once he left, Carissa buried her face in her hands, her cheeks burning.
He does like me! s
he wanted to say. Did they really think she’d changed her look just to get his attention? For the last several days, she’d felt attractive and confident and now she realized everyone just saw her as a pathetic woman pining after her boss. Was she being that obvious? She didn’t think she was. Did they think so low of her that they couldn’t accept that a new look meant she felt better about herself? Maybe she should stop. He’d be leaving in a couple of months anyway and she wasn’t keeping their relationship secret very well. It didn’t even feel like their secret anymore with people not believing he’d ever be interested in her. He played his role well. No one suspected there was any interest on his side.

Carissa rested her head on her desk and groaned. She’d worked hard to build her reputation and in just a few weeks she’d put it in jeopardy.

Someone knocked on the door.

She lifted her head off her desk, straightened her hair and said in a bright voice, “Come in,”

Kenric entered.

She jumped to her feet and said in a rush. “You shouldn’t be here.”

He looked at her startled. “Why not? I came for the employee files we discussed in the meeting.”

“Oh yes, right. Sorry.” She sat back down, typed some information into her computer. “I just sent you softcopies.” She rushed over to her metal file cabinet, searched through it and pulled out several manila files. “And here are the hardcopies,” she said, handing them to him.

“Thank you. You seem…rushed.”

“I just don’t want to waste your time.”

“You’d never do that.” He stepped closer and lowered his voice. “I’ll have to reschedule lunch.”

“That’s okay. I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

“What?”

“It’s been fun but—”

His gaze sharpened. “What happened? Did someone find out?”

“Sort of.”

“Who?”

She moved away from him, being near him was too distracting. “It’s nobody’s fault.” She sat down behind her desk, grateful for the barrier. “I’m the problem. I haven’t been able to play our relationship as cool as you and others are starting to notice. People are talking. It’s a pride thing for me,” she said embarrassed. “Nobody can believe that a man like you would be interested in me.”

He frowned, confused. “Why not?”

“Remember what your brother said?”

His tone hardened. “Don’t bring my brother into this.”

“It’s silly really,” she said forcing a laugh. “I mean, what are we doing anyway? You’ll soon be gone and I’ll be the pathetic HR director who’d lusted after her boss. After a couple months I’ll get my reputation back and—”

Kenric rested his fists on the desk and leaned forward. “Do you want me to make it formal?”

“Formal?”

“Yes, do you want me to take you out publicly?”

“No, that will be worse.” She looked up at him, fear on her face.

He looked at her stunned. “How could it be worse?”

“Then they’ll
really
think I’m desperate to keep my job.”

“What’s wrong with this place? What’s wrong with a man being interested in an attractive woman? I’ve looked at the legal stipulations and there’s nothing against us dating. And although I am the boss, I’m only here temporarily so I won’t be your boss for long. I’ve know guys who’ve dated their employees and—”

Carissa didn’t allow herself to dwell on the compliment. “It’s different here. I told you, right now is a delicate time and the rumors are the fiercest when people are tense and unsure. I have to live here, you don’t. Please.”

Kenric rubbed his chin. “I don’t like this.”

She sighed resigned. “I know. So we have to stop.”

“I don’t want to stop. So what’s your other plan?”

She paused. She hadn’t expected him to fight her. He was a reasonable and rational man. They were having fun, but she knew it wasn’t meant to last. “I didn’t think I needed one.”

His phone rang. He looked at it. “I have to get this.” He looked at her. “This discussion isn’t over. I’ll call you.”

“Promise you won’t say anything to anyone until you talk to me,” she said.

He opened the door and answered the phone. “Riverton,” he said before leaving.

She should have known not to try for a promise. He wasn’t the type. But she hoped with time he’d see her side. What were they doing? The relationship wasn’t going to go anywhere. Why try to hide something that wouldn’t last?

Exactly, because it wouldn’t last, her mind said. Who cared what anyone else thought if she was having the time of her life? Who cared what they said behind her back as long as she was happy? Was she really ready to throw it all away because of what Nathan said? She didn’t respect him that much and being with Kenric was wonderful.

Was it so wrong to wish that she could show him off a bit? To be able to say ‘He’s with me’? Sure, her desire stemmed from her pride, but wasn’t she allowed a little of it?

***

“Uh, oh. What did you do?” Sara asked when she stopped by to check on Carissa.

Carissa left her front door open for her to pass then went and sat on the couch. “I’m not seeing Kenric anymore.”

Sara sat beside her. “Why?”

“Because I can’t do it. I’m all wrong for this. There are just too many secrets in my life right now. I can’t tell anyone why I’m wearing new clothes because of the Black Stockings Society and I can’t tell anyone I’m seeing this great guy.”

“Why do you feel you have to explain yourself anyway?”

“What?”

“Even if you weren’t following some instructions from the club, if you wanted to wear new stockings or change your hair or buy a new car you can do it without telling anyone. Why do they matter? Who are they? Are they important?”

“No, but—”

“And would you really drop a great guy because of what other people may or may not be thinking about you?”

“He’ll be leaving in a couple of months.”

“And that will be even better, then you won’t have to hide anymore. Carissa, it’s time to live your life on your terms. You don’t have to prove or explain anything. Besides, people will talk anyway.”

“I guess I’m a little afraid because he’s good at this. Too good. What if I’m not the only one? What if he’s seeing someone else? Hell, he could be charming half the woman at the office and I’d never know.”

Sara poked her in the arm. “You know he’s not.”

“I’d never know anything with the mask he wears.”

“Do you really want to break up or are you finding excuses?”

“I told you, I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of really falling for him.”

Sara looked at Carissa with pity. “Don’t you know you already have?”

Carissa covered her face. “Isn’t it awful?”

“No, be honest with him and see where this leads.” She clapped her hands together. “Unfortunately, I can’t stay long. I came by to check on your progress with your next assignment.” She opened her cell phone then scrolled through a document. “It’s time for phase two.”

“Phase two?”

“Yes, dinner with the family.”

Carissa shook her head. “No way.”

Sara nodded then tapped the image on her cell phone screen. “It’s part of your instructions. Just with your brother and sister-in-law, not your entire family.”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“This is the perfect two way approach. You will either find out how serious he is, or you’ll scare him away. You wanted someone who wasn’t ashamed of you, right?”

Carissa sighed. Kenric already knew she’d been married twice, if meeting her family made him run, then it was for the best. “Yes.”

“Good.” Sara pointed to an image on the screen. “And you’re going to wear these.”

Dinner. She’d invited him to have dinner with her family. He was glad she’d changed her mind about them not seeing each other, but he was still surprised by the request. He knocked on the door to her apartment.

Carissa opened it then held up her hand. “Don’t say anything, I know I look ridiculous. A friend had this crazy idea—”

“That I like very much,” he said, letting his gaze appreciate her silk red blouse, pencil thin black leather skirt and stripped patterned dark stockings. He kissed her then handed her the colorful mixed bouquet he’d bought. “You look wonderful.”

She took the bouquet suddenly looking shy. “Thank you,” she said, then quickly grabbed a vase and hurried into the kitchen. “But you’re early. Everything’s not ready yet.”

He followed her into the kitchen. “I thought I could help you.”