A Pretty Pill (5 page)

“Jade?  Your phone has been calling nonstop out back.” Simon says when he returns from break.

“Shit... can’t be good... it’s 11 o’clock at night!” I lament.  “I’ll take my break now that your back and see what’s going on!”  I sigh.

Nine missed calls from my grandparent’s number.  I dial...

“Hello?” my grandfather answers.

“Pa?” I
respond.

“Oh, honey... look, we really tried, but we just can’t do this.  We really have to give Silas back.  He’s too much for your grandmother.  She’s crying all the time and threatening to leave.”  He explains.

“I can’t leave here Pa!  I’m working this entire period!” I try to reason.

“We’ll be there in the morning to drop him off then.  I’m sorry honey... you know your Gran.  She’s not cut out for this behaviour crap.”  He argues.

“And I am?” I reply snidely.

“You do a marvellous job sweetie.  If Silas was more like you, there wouldn’t be a problem!”
He states.

I’m gobsmacked, I’m so angry right now with that statement and all it implies, that I’m just going to demand he drives Silas home right now.

“Leave with him now Pa... I want him home in the morning to wake up for Christmas day with me.” I growl.

“It’s a long drive honey... I’m tired.” He argues back.

“I don’t care Geoff.” I respond, using my grandfather’s real name.  “Get Uncle Dave to share the driving.  I’ll see you in four hours!” I seethe.

“Okay!” he sheepishly agrees.

I just can’t fucking believe it!  He didn’t even change his mind through guilt; he didn’t even give me one... more... day!  I can’t even have a little break!  I can’t even rely on anyone in this God damn world!

I
hang up and scream!

...November
...

“I’m so glad that’s over!”  I lament and sigh at Warren as we go over the kegs and clear the lines before the start of the day.

“So, do you think you did alright in your exam?” he asks, concentrating on the
VB
line.

“Yeah... it’s much easier to do one subject at a time, so marks wise, I’ll be killing it!”  I explain, thinking about how I’ve only got two more years of this shit, and then I’ll be earning proper money
; at least, proper money for me.

It’s been a while since I’ve felt this good.  Sure, Silas and I have found a rhythm
; he’s going to school, even if it is begrudgingly, and I go to work.  We swim every day; he argues he doesn’t need his medications, and I give them to him anyway and he takes them with a few choice words.  We settle in every night to play Xbox or watch television; and since we like watching the same shows on
Foxtel
, there isn’t any argument over the remote. 

But Silas is like a
ticking time bomb; I’m waiting for him to erupt, because he’s so coiled he needs to.

At 14
, he’s catching up to me in height.  He’s in year 8 at school, and his teachers generally like him; especially his tech teachers.  He’s well on the way to being a tradesman in the areas of wood or metal.

Funn
ily enough, as I’m thinking of Silas, the phone rings, and sure enough...

“Brontie’s Tavern!”  Warren answers
, and then is momentarily silent.

“Yes, she’s
here... can I ask who’s calling?”  He uses his authority tone.

Covering up the phone with his hand he tells me...

“The high school... Mr Pearson.” He winces.

Warren has teenage daughters that go to the same school.  He knows Mr Pearson is the principal.  I take the phone and place it to m
y ear.

“Hello?” I fake enthuse.

“Miss Tayte.” He begins, “We have a situation here at the school.  I need you to come down and collect Silas.” He says.

“Oh... okay.  What happened?” I ask.

“We’ll talk when you get here... he’s waiting in the office with me.” He explains.

“I’ll be right there.” I sigh and hang up.

I go to say something to Warren, but he beats me to it.

“Just go get your brother and then come back after you settle him in.” He
says.

“Thanks.” I reply meekly.

***

“What happened?” I ask, sitting down in the chair Mr Pearson indicates to me, in his massive office overlooking the beautiful tree-lined street.  Silas sits to the side
; his head is in his hands, and he’s not looking at me.

“It appears Silas just needs a bit of time off.”  Mr Pearson says.

“Time off?  Is he being suspended?” I ask.

Mr Pearson sighs and leans back in his chair.

“Unfortunately, there are ways to deal with bullies, and Silas’ ways are not tolerated here.  I just need him to stay home for the rest of the week.  I have to suspend him; if the circumstances were different, I’d have to expel him, and charges would be laid.  Unfortunately this will display on his permanent record.  The other party has been dealt with accordingly.” He explains.

“What happened Silas?” I ask
, it seems I wasn’t going to get any answers from the principal.

“Gavin Martin was talking rudely to Sarah Tisdell... so I kicked him in the head.”  He explains bluntly.

“What?”  I ask, taken aback; I don’t know who he is talking about, and I am shocked at what he’s saying.

“Sarah Tisdell is one of
our special needs students in a wheelchair.  Apparently Gavin Martin, one of our seniors here, was behaving in an extremely rude fashion towards her...” he is explaining, when Silas interrupts.

“... he called her a legless retard!” he seethes.

“... and Silas took it upon himself to dish up justice.” Mr Pearson grimly completes his explanation.

“I see...” I say, squinting my eyes at the principal.

“What happened to this Gavin boy?”  I ask.

“He’s on suspension.” Mr Pearson states.

I nod.

“Silas... let’s go!” I demand without further ceremony.

“Miss Tayte... can I suggest you look into Silas doing something like boxing, so he can release some of his aggression in a constructive way?” he reasons, while standing.

“Why?  He already does swimming to burn off energy.”  I explain.

“Yeah well, he knocked the boy’s two front teeth out and busted his lip; so maybe he needs something else.” He responds.

I nod
again and walk out the door.

When we are out the front, and I’m handing Silas a helmet, I refer to the incident.

“How did you knock his teeth out?” I ask.

“I climbed up onto the lunch bench and kicked him in the face.  Sarah’s a really nice girl... he had her in tears.  I don’t even know what he was saying before that.”  He explains, pulling the helmet over his head.

“Well, I shouldn’t say it... but I’m proud of you Silas for sticking up for the girl... but please... don’t do it like that again.” I say, climbing on my bike and steadying it for Silas to climb on pillion.

He nods just as he goes to get on.

...December
...

“
We’re closed over the holidays, but we’ll be returning at the end of January.  We have Muay Thai, boxing of course, I teach the boxing, and karate; which are all very popular with the boys.” The nice older man says from behind a plexiglass screen at our local Police Citizens Youth Club.

“Are they on separate days?” I ask.

“Yep... he can do one or all three.”  He explains.

I look at the brochures outlining the costs of each class.

“Are there discounts for doing multiple genres, or classes?  Like if he does all three?” I ask.

“Sorry sweetie, but no... we run on next to nothing as it is, and the costs are so cheap... you won’t find those prices in private businesses.”  He states smiling.

“Okay... thank you!” I say and head back out to my bike.  I’m on my way home from another shift; and Silas will be home around the same time as me.

As much as I’d like to disagree with the principal, I actually do agree
; so I’ve gone to the PCYC with this in mind, to establish a new routine for Silas, to get his angst out.

***

“Can I do two classes?” Silas requests, grabbing another piece of bread and eating it straight out of the bag.

I grab the bread,
replacing the tie and shoving it out of his way, and then I turn to him.

“What about swimming?” I ask.  “I can’t afford both classes and swimming.” I explain.  The ticket is due on the 1
st of January for renewal.

“I’ll give swimming up after the holidays.” He reasons.

I give a drastic sigh.  I’ve enjoyed going swimming every day with him.  But he’s getting bigger, and more aggressive.  He may have only shown his aggression at school for the first time recently; but he’s doing it on a weekly basis at home.  I’m starting to get scared, because I’m not able to physically haul him off to the back yard anymore.

“Okay.” I relent.

I’m caught here... Silas’ expenses far outweigh my own; but I can’t help trying to make him happy; and to help him in getting his demons released.

Counselling is super expensive
; his meds are covered by the PBS but I just can’t see how they help him anymore. I’m falling a little into disarray.  I’m not really anyone I’m familiar with anymore, I don’t know who I am, I gave me up a while ago!

I don’t date... my last fuck was Tim
. And if anyone asks me, I just do my spiel and scare them off in rapid time....

“If you take
me on, you need to be aware I’m a single parent to a 14 year old messed up kid that is big enough to kick your arse. If your still interested, I’ll have you meet him and ask him if he minds sharing space with you.”
  I usually say.

I wasn’t always like that.  I
did flirt like before, when I was free, for a while; but the conversation would inevitably baulk when he was mentioned... so I go straight there now, and I think anyone who walks away is a jackass.  They always walk away.

...April
...

“Jade... can I tell you something?” Silas asks, sitting down next to me on the couch.

“Sure!” I reply, muting the television.

“I hear voices.” He blurts out.

“What do you mean you hear voices?  Is someone at the front door?” I ask, looking over my shoulder.

“No... I mean, I hear someone talking sometimes and then when I look, there’s nobody there.”  He explains.

“Like your inner conscience?” I ask.

“Maybe... what does your conscience sound like?” he asks.

“I don’t know... like myself I suppose; like when you read silently in your head.” I reason.

“Then no... not really... but then, maybe?  I keep thinking it might be Dad... talking to me from the other side.” He says, slouching back into the couch.

“Oh...? How does it make you feel?”  I ask curiously.  I’m not sure about ghost stuff.

He shrugs... “Okay I guess.” He says nonchalantly.

“Have you told your counsellor?” I ask.

“No... I don’t really feel worried about it
, but I wondered if I should be.” He says.

“Should I be worried about it?” I ask.

“Nup... just wanted you to know.”  He says, leaning in and giving me a kiss on my temple.

“Okay.” I say, but I file this conversation away for later
; I’ll think about it later.

...September...

“I fucking hate school... if you make me go back there, I’m going to burn it down!” Silas shouts ferociously as he storms through the front door.

I’m in my room getting out of my work uniform.

“What happened?”  I say, rushing out in my underwear, and trying to pull some gym pants up my legs and a sweater over my top for comfort.

“Trent Davenport told Shae Leveritt that I’m hot for her... and she said, not in a million years!” he fumes, walking into the kitchen.  I follow him.

“Oh... are you hot for her?” I ask without thinking.

“Farrrck!” he screams; punching the fridge and making a slight indentation on the front surface to go with the others.

“That’s it... go outside and punch the boxing bag.”  I demand.

“I fucking hate everyone.  I’m going to kill them all one day!  I’m going to go into that school and pull out a bowie knife and slice and dice them all to pieces.”  He says, slamming his shoulder to the back door to get outside.

“You know you can’t talk like that Silas... it’s horrible.” I explain.