A Pretty Pill (28 page)

He
’s carrying a basket in his hand, and we’re walking down the pasta aisle to get to the meat section.  I’m looking at the sauces as we pass them, when I feel his hand slip into mine and hold it.  I look down at our hands, watching his fingers lace their way through mine.  It gives me a little jolt, and then tingles begin to travel up my arm and towards my chest.  Butterflies form in my stomach and I turn to look at him.

“What?” he asks
, looking back at me.

“Nothing
, this is... nice!” I say, because it is.

“Nice?  That’s... disappointingly sweet!” h
e says with a quirk of his lips, as we continue to the meat section.

I slap him on the shoulder and go to pull my hand away, but he’s not having any of that.  He’s holding on to my hand in a vice
-like grip and chuckling at me.

“Arsehole.” I grumble.

“Well at least you like arseholes.” He says, and stops in front of the lamb section.  “How about lamb cutlets with three veg?” he says.

“Mash?” I ask, turning my attention to food.

“Yes... creamy mash, carrots and broccoli.” He answers, “With gravy.” he adds.

“Sounds great!” I enthuse.

“Great, grab that tray there.” He says, pointing to the tray with his head.

“Why can’t you grab it?” I ask him, trying to pull my hand out to give him his hand back.

“Because both my hands are occupied.” He says; holding my struggling hand tighter.

“Let me help you with that.” I offer, trying harder to release my hand.

“Stop making yourself look like a five year old on a leash, and grab the lamb cutlets!” he demands.

“You’re really
not going to let go of my hand are you?”  I ask frustratedly.

“No!  So stop trying to get away!” he growls at me.

“God damn it!” I seethe.

“Grab the damn cutlets Red!” he requests.

I turn to face him and place my hand on my hip.  “This is really dumb!” I say.

“You’re right
, and when you’re right, you’re right!” he says in agreement.

“Yeah?” I ask.

“Yes.  Hold this a minute will you?” he says, handing me the basket.

I sigh and grab the basket, rolling my eyes in the process.

He grabs the lamb cutlets, shoves them in the basket and begins to drag me off to the veggie section.

“Hey!  That’s uncalled for!” I say to the duping.  I am seriously having a dumb moment.  I fell for that stupid switch in record time!

“Chivalry is dead I’m told!” he says, walking a fast pace towards the root vegetables.

“At least with sexy irrepressible arseholes it is.” I grumble.

“I’m sexy?” he says, beaming.

“Unfortunately...” I grumble again, but I’m smiling and trying to stop it from erupting as I watch him try to place potatoes into a plastic bag one handed.
  He struggles monumentally to open the bag, because it is sticking to itself, but he manages to get it with his teeth.  And then the first potato doesn’t actually go in the bag... it just rolls over into the red onions.  He sighs... reaches across and grabs it up and tries again.  Once the first potato is in the bag, he’s on a roll, and he manages to put another five potatoes in the bag.

“How many people are you planning on feeding?” I ask.

He smiles at me, but doesn’t answer that question.  He asks his own.

“You know what I want to do?” he asks.

“What do you want to do?” I repeat his question back to him, as he manages to place the seventh potato into the bag, and then place the lot into the basket... that I’m holding!

“Take you for that coffee you denied me the first time I asked for it.” He says slyly and gives me a wink.

“What?  Sweaty sex and a blow job?” I say laughing.

An old lady
looks up at us; a mortified expression across her face; she tuts and pushes her trolley onward.

He’s laughing heartily and shaking h
is head.

“
Best fucking brand ever!” he says, leaning in to give me a kiss.

Ben.

I’m cutting the potatoes and placing them in the saucepan, while Mum
sits on her recliner reading her book.

“When will Jade be back?” she asks.  I can’t see her from where I am in the kitchen, but I can hear her.

“Any minute now actually.” I answer.

“I’m just worried about her riding in this weather.” Mum explains.

“She’s been doing it for years Mum.” I argue.

“She could’ve taken the car
to go and see Silas!” she mumbles, but I hear it.

“She doesn’t drive often
, so she doesn’t want to practice driving your car, a car she’s never driven, in the pouring rain at night!  She’s safer on her bike!” I argue on her behalf.

“If you say so.” Mum dismisses.

I sigh.  I look down again and realise I’m wearing my good watch, and I’m going to make a start on the cutlets in a moment, placing breadcrumbs over them.  It’s a messy job, so I decide to take my watch off and put it in my room.

I walk into the room and notice the paper bag Jade got from the Chemist on the bed...
sitting on the edge... just sitting there unopened.  I look at it as I walk around the bed, like it’s an evil omen, like it’s mocking my manhood.

I place my watch on the bedside table and walk back around and go to pass by it, but I find myself stopping and looking at it again.

“I don’t like you I think... I don’t know why I don’t like you; because if she was any other woman, I would’ve bought you myself... but for this once, I fucking hate you!” I say with unreasonable vehemence to my inert enemy.

I crouch down and look at it closely.  It’s just a paper bag, with a child preventing pill in it, right?  So what’s the problem?  I don’t want kids yet
, I’m not old enough yet!

I tap the product like it’s a bomb in disguise.  I tap it again... and again... and again... and then it falls onto the floor!  I stand and look at it sitting there, waiting for Jade to open it and swallow the interventionist drug.

I’m struggling with an inner bitterness.  I am in one mind thinking to kick it under the bed... in the other mind; I’m saying to myself that I’m a pro choice guy!  I totally am!  So what the fuck is going on here?  I mean, really?

I go half way.  I tap it so that
only the edge appears out from under the bed only.

In this once only incident, I want fate to have a better playing hand.  Intervention can play too, but I’m giving fate a fighting chance!  And I am never, ever telling anyone about this... ever!
  In fact, I really want to forget that I may have just made Jade a very angry woman, for a while!

***

“Ben, have you seen a little package from the Chemist?” Jade asks quietly after dinner.

“No
, have you looked in your bag?” I lie and cover myself.

“Yeah
, it’s not there.” She says, chewing on her thumbnail. 

Mum is watching a bit of television while I clean the dishes that can’t go in the dishwasher.

“When did you last see it?” I ask.

“I think I placed it on a bench or something.  I was in a hurry to go and see Silas.” She states.

“Bathroom?” I ask.  She shakes her head.

“Toilet?” I ask.  Again a shake of her head.

“I’ll just have another look in the room.” She says sighing.

“Okay.” I respond.  Phew
, I breathe once she leaves.

I finish washing the frying pan and then I hear her over my shoulder
pad back into the kitchen, and I look to see her come in with a little tub of lip balm. She comes over to the sink and leans against the bench next to me.

“It fell on the floor.” She says
, giving me a smile and showing me the tub, liberally applying a finger full on her lips.

“I thought you were talking about that pill thing.” I say, wondering what happened.

“Oh no, I took that before I went out.” She explains.  “I just needed this lip balm because the weather is really giving me shit with my lips.” She reasons, smacking her lips together and giving me a big smile.

Well there you
go; fate was on the pill’s side all along!

I wonder what it says to me that I wanted to interfere with the possibilities that she could’ve had a baby with me
, it was such a random and out of left field feeling.  Perhaps I really am receptive to having a kid one day; maybe even sooner than I expected!

“Can I ask you something Jade?” I question.

“Yeah.” She agrees, coming up behind me and hugging me from behind as I stand at the sink, rinsing it out and wiping the bowl out.

“Do you think one day you’ll want kids?” I ask.

“Hmmm.... one day maybe, when the time’s right; but not plural; singular.” She responds.

“I always thought that too, just one.” I smile at her.  She smiles back.
  “What constitutes the right time?” I ask.

“Commitment, financial security, the right home... a chance to be happy and secure in myself and with who I’m with as well.” She reasons
.

“Those are all good points to consider.” I agree.

“I’ve been a parent for a while now; I kind of know what I want if I’m to do it again, and it’s not being single.  I can tell you that much, but I know I don’t want a kid anytime soon... at all.” she argues then sighs, before kissing me on the neck and leaving to go and talk to my Mum.

***

I’m lying in bed and looking at the ceiling, waiting for Jade to come in from brushing her teeth, when I hear her stumbling to the toilet and making a gagging noise.

I throw the covers back and run to the
sound, where she’s coming back out, having purged herself.  She looks a bit ‘green around the gills.’

“You don’t look so well!” I state the obvious.

“I’m okay...” she states, a little unconvincingly.  “I think I caused myself to vomit.  I like to clean my tongue pretty well, and I made myself gag... and then I was overwhelmed by the feeling.”  She explains.

“You still look like shit!” I argue.

“I still feel nauseas, but I’ll have to brush my teeth again.” She says, walking in to the bathroom again.

She is wearing those SpongeBob SquarePants pyjamas, which are as cute as cute can possibly get,
but really, she still looks like she’s just been ill; but then, she has.

“Come and climb into bed.  Just swish with some mouthwash.” I reason.

“But then you won’t kiss me.” She argues.

“You look like you want to puke again
, so I’m not kissing you when you’re like that anyway.  I’m not a baby bird that eats regurgitated food!” I explain.

She looks even
worse now for considering my analogy.

“
That’s gross!  And the nausea’s a side effect of the tablet I took earlier today.  I’ll be okay.”  She reasons.

“Do you think you
’ll need to take another tablet?” I ask.

“
Oh no, it’s been hours.  It’ll have already passed through my gut; and will now be travelling in its chemical components throughout my body; it’ll be fine.” She says, throwing back a cap full of my
Listerine
and gargling.

“
You know, I talked to Silas about moving into here today.  And you know what he said?” I ask her.

She shrugs
and spits.

“He told me that you’re looking to buy a house and that it would be the perfect opportunity to move out so you can move on.” I say.  It’s true; I’m just twisting the moving on part.  He didn’t exactly say that.

“I am looking at buying property, but I had always intended on taking him with me.” she explains.

“Why don’t you move in here, and save some more money to put towards a house?  I won’t charge rent.  At least not the dollar kind.” I reason, moving in to the back of her and hugging her from behind while looking at her in the mirror.

“I don’t need to save money, I’m not getting a loan.” She states.

“You’ve got enough money?” I ask
, only slightly surprised.  I inherited a mint from my Dad’s life insurance and compensation when I turned 21.

“Yep
, more than a million dollars in fact.” She says.

I only slightly baulk. 
Like I said I assumed she would have inheritance, it’s really not that much money when you think about it.

“What about Silas?” I ask.  “You’ve been worried about his income!” I say, confused.

“He doesn’t have his money yet, I only got mine this year when I turned 25.” She explains.

“Oh, wow.  That’s late.” I argue.