A Place of Peace (28 page)

“Why, Gerald Lapp,” he said, stomping down the porch steps. “Wie
geht’s?
What brings you out this way so late in the evening?” He smacked him on the shoulder.

“It’s
gut
to see you, too.” Gerald shook his hand and then gestured toward the passenger side of the buggy. “It was her idea to come out here. She asked me to drive.”

Timothy faced the woman climbing from the buggy, and his heart thumped in his chest when he was certain she was Miriam.

With a closer look at her face, he found Lilly giving him a cautious smile while stepping toward him. Although she resembled Miriam, Lilly’s beauty was less pronounced. Her cheekbones were not as high as Miriam’s, and her eyes weren’t as deep brown.

“Timothy,” Lilly said. “I apologize for visiting so late, but I must speak with you.”

“Oh.” His smile faded in response to her serious tone. “Would you like to come in and have something to drink?”

She shook her head. “No, I don’t want to impose. I just need a few moments to speak with you.”

“Lilly, you’re not imposing.” Timothy nodded toward the porch. “Please at least sit on the porch, and I’ll bring out some drinks.”

While his guests sat on the porch, Timothy rushed into the house and brought out a tray, including three glasses, a pitcher of water, and a bowl of chocolate chip cookies Naomi had left for him. He placed the tray on a small table and sat next to Lilly.

As he poured the water for them, Timothy spotted Lilly wringing her hands while staring across at the darkened fields. She was anxious, and he dreaded whatever it was that she had come to say.

Gerald took the glass of water and a handful of cookies and then sat in a chair kitty-corner to Timothy.

“How’s your
dat?”
Timothy asked, handing Lilly a glass of water.

“Gut.”
She nodded, her expression softening. “He’s been home a week now, and he’s progressing well. He’s a lot slower than he used to be, but he’s getting around by himself.” She glanced at Gerald and smiled. “He thinks we made a run to the market for milk and bread. I bet he’s wondering why we’ve been gone so long.”

“
Ya.
” Gerald sipped his drink. “But Hannah’s with him, so he’s fine.”

“How are your parents?” Lilly asked.

“Gut.”
Timothy lifted his glass. “We had our weekly Kauffman family supper tonight, and everyone was there. Everyone is healthy.”

“That’s good to hear.” Lilly placed her glass on the small table and cleared her throat. “I came here because I have something to say. I thought about writing you a letter, but I decided you deserve to hear this face-to-face.” She blew out a ragged breath.

“Take your time,” Timothy said.

“I owe you an apology,” she began. Her bottom lip quivered. “What I did to you is absolutely unforgivable, but I want you to know I’m sincerely sorry. I wish I could take it all back and fix it, but I know I can’t.” She sniffed and wiped her nose.

“Slow down.” Timothy leaned over to touch her arm but stopped, knowing it was inappropriate to touch a woman he barely knew. “Just start at the beginning.”

“I’m the reason why my sister left you and moved to Indiana. It’s all my fault.” Tears spilled from her brown eyes. “I told a terrible lie. Actually, I told more than one lie. It was sinful and selfish and unforgivable. I’m truly sorry, Timothy. I’m so, so sorry.” She cupped her hand to her mouth and sobbed.

He glanced at Gerald, hoping for some guidance on how to handle Lilly’s tears. Gerald shrugged and continued eating cookies.

You’re a big help.

Unsure of what to do, Timothy handed her a napkin. “Lilly, we’ve all made mistakes. We’re all imperfect in God’s eyes.”

Shaking her head, she wiped her eyes and nose with the napkin. “No, what I did was worse than anything you can imagine. I was jealous of Miriam, so I lied. I wanted to break you and her up, and it worked. I’m so, so sorry, Timothy.”

Timothy took a long gulp of water in an attempt to calm his frayed nerves. “Why would you want to break us up?”

“I was jealous.” Her voice trembled and more tears spilled from her eyes. “I had no one, and Miriam had two men who were interested in her.”

“Two?” Timothy asked. “Who was the other man?”

“Zach Fisher.” Lilly sniffed again and sipped her water.

Jealousy surged through him, but he pushed it back, focusing on Lilly’s explanation. “I still don’t understand why that would make you want to break us up.”

“I was young and hateful.” She shook her head. “I’m not proud of my actions. I was miserable and wanted Miriam to be unhappy too. I was determined to make things horrible for her. I told everyone you were cheating on her and she was cheating on you. After the tragedy of Jeremy Henderson’s death, things got worse for her, and she left.” She sipped her drink and then studied the glass. “I thought I would feel some happiness when she left because that meant that I had won. But I felt worse.

The whole thing backfired. In the end, I’d lost my sister, and I was still alone.”

Timothy bit his upper lip and stared down at his lap. Anger and regret coursed through him. He knew that as a Christian he needed to tell her she was forgiven, but he couldn’t form the words.

“I wanted to come here to apologize, but I also wanted to tell you Miriam still loves you.” Lilly’s voice was soft and full of uncertainty.

Timothy’s widened eyes cut to hers.

“It may seem like I’m betraying Naomi’s friendship, but I don’t mean to.” She held her hand out as if to caution him. “Naomi is a very dear friend of mine, and I care for her deeply. However, my allegiance is to Miriam first. I haven’t been a very good sister to her, but I’ve changed. I want my sister to be
froh,
and I know she won’t be until she has you back.”

Timothy shook his head.

This can’t be happening. I’m engaged to Naomi.

“Lilly, I appreciate your honesty,” he said, his voice hesitant. “However, what happened between Miriam and me was four years ago, and there’s no use in reliving the past. What’s done is done.”

Lilly shook her head, her eyes sparkling with fresh tears. “No, that’s not true. You’re not married to Naomi yet. There’s still time for you—”

“No,” he said, the word coming out a little too forcefully. “I made a promise that I intend to keep. I refuse to hurt Naomi. I can’t make her suffer like I did when Miriam left.”

“But Miriam left because of me.” She jammed a finger in her chest.
“She
didn’t hurt you.
I
hurt you, Timothy. I hurt you both, and I’m so, so sorry.” She swallowed a sob as more tears rushed down her pink cheeks.

Timothy handed her another napkin and then shifted in his seat. Watching her cry was almost too much for him.

She sniffed, wiped her eyes and nose, and cleared her throat. “Timothy, please listen to me. I know you made a promise to Naomi, and that’s very honorable and right and true. But please consider what I said about Miriam. Her heart belongs to you. You both are meant to be. Just give her a chance. She didn’t leave you willingly. She thought she had no way out of her problems here, but the truth is that I caused those problems. It’s all my fault you aren’t married and living here together.”

Speechless, Timothy stared at her.

“Just think about what I said.” Lilly stood and smoothed her apron.
“Danki
for the water and cookies.” She looked at her brother. “Are you ready?”

Gerald crossed the porch and placed his empty glass on the tray. “It was
gut
seeing you. We’ll have to get together sometime.”

“Ya.”
Timothy shook his hand. “That would be gut.” He followed them down the steps to the buggy.

Lilly shook Timothy’s hand.
“Danki
for the talk. Please think about what I said.”

Timothy waved as they drove off.

Once they were out of sight, he sank onto the porch steps, tossed his hat down, and raked his fingers through his hair.

Never in a million years had he expected Lilly to show up on his doorstep begging for forgiveness for wrecking his relationship with Miriam. To make matters even more confusing, Lilly insisted Miriam’s heart still belonged to him.

Turning his face up to the sky, he groaned. What was God trying to tell him? Timothy had thought marrying Naomi was what God had planned for him, but now Lilly had thrown a wrench into the plan. Was God trying to tell him to give Miriam another chance?

But how could breaking a promise and also breaking Naomi’s heart be in God’s plan?

Timothy swiped his hand over his face, grabbed his hat, and stood. He climbed the porch steps, took the tray of glasses to the kitchen, grabbed the lantern from the railing, and headed to the barn. The only way he’d know if being with Miriam was the answer was by talking to Miriam in person. Only she could tell him if she wanted to be with him.

After hitching up the horse, he steered toward the main road. In less than an hour, he’d be at Miriam’s cabin, and then he could get answers straight from Miriam.

Timothy gingerly knocked on the door to Miriam’s cabin and then held his breath. It was late, but he hoped she was still awake and willing to speak with him.

A few moments later, the door opened, revealing Edna clad in a housecoat. She eyed him with suspicion. “Timothy Kauffman?” she asked. “Do you know what time it is?”

“
Ya.
” He held his hat in front of him and absently turned it. “I apologize. I was hoping I could speak with Miriam about an important matter. I knew I would be up all night if I didn’t get to talk to her right away.”

Edna shook her head and frowned. “I’m sorry, but she’s not home yet.”

“May I ask where she is?”

“She had supper with Zach Fisher. They’ve been gone several hours now.”

Zach Fisher. There’s that name again.

Timothy gritted his teeth.

“Timothy,” Edna began, “I don’t mean to pry, but I think it’s time for you to move on. You’re marrying Naomi, and Miriam is seeing Zach. It may be best for you two to just be friends and remember your past as a fond memory of your youth.”

He nodded. “Perhaps you’re right.”

“Son, I know I am. I have a lot of regrets in my life, which is why I never married. The biggest mistake I made was letting a man I loved go. But in this situation, I think it’s the best solution. You have Naomi now, so you must cherish her. Don’t let her go.”

Is this the sign the Lord was trying to send me?

He cleared his throat.
“Danki.
Please don’t mention to Miriam that I was here.”

“I won’t,” she said with a smile. “Drive home safely.”

“Gut nacht.”

“Gut nacht.”
She closed the door.

Timothy climbed into the buggy and let his head thump back on the seat, his emotions whirling inside him. His heart was numb. While he knew he loved Miriam, the roads seemed to be pointing to Naomi.

Nevertheless, what Edna said made sense. He’d made a promise to Naomi, and Miriam was seeing Zach Fisher. Even though the idea of being with Miriam felt right, it wasn’t logical or practical.

He belonged with Naomi, and it was time he faced it.

Staring out of Zach’s windshield, Miriam spotted a buggy passing them in the dark. “I wonder who that is,” she muttered. “It looks like they’re coming from my
daed’s
house.”

“Maybe it’s Hannah heading back home?” Zach asked.

“Ya.
Maybe.” Miriam studied the mysterious rig as it passed. “Doesn’t look like Hannah’s. Besides, I can’t imagine her driving home so late at night with the
kinner.
She doesn’t like to drive in the dark.”

“Maybe it was someone coming to visit your
daed,”
he said, steering onto the lane leading to Abraham’s house. “Everyone has been concerned about him. I would imagine Hannah had a house full of visitors tonight while she cared for him.”

Miriam nodded and glanced at Abraham’s house as they bounced by in the buggy. Lanterns glowed from the kitchen. She hoped her father was in bed resting and not still awake.

“Danki
for joining me for supper tonight,” Zach said with a sideways glance. “I had a
wunderbaar
time.”

“Ya, me too.
Danki
for inviting me.” She gazed at the cabin, surprised to find lanterns still aglow. Edna must’ve decided to wait up for her.

Zach brought the horse to rest at the porch step and then climbed out and tethered the horse to the hitching post.

Climbing the porch, Miriam sat in the swing and patted the seat next to her, inviting him to join her.

He sank into the seat and turned and faced her, his expression serious. “I’m glad you’re back to stay. I was sad when you left. I’m thrilled you’re going to be baptized.” He leaned over and touched her hand.

Miriam smiled. She knew where this conversation would go next. He was going to suggest they court. Now was the time to mention Lilly, but she had to do it the right way so as not to insult him or hurt his feelings.

“Would you consider courting me?” he asked, his eyes hopeful.

“Zach,” she began, choosing her words with care. “You know I care for you as a friend.”

He frowned and pulled his hand back.

“Wait,” she said, touching his hand. “Just hear me out. You may like what I have to say.”

“I doubt that,” he muttered, pushing his hat back on his head.

“Zach, you’ve been a
gut,
true friend to me for many years, and I appreciate that. However, I still see you as a friend and care for you deeply.” She took his hand in hers. “But I’m not the
maedel
for you.”

Sighing, he shook his head. “I think you are the
maedel
for me. I love you, Miriam. Can’t you see that? I’ve always loved you.”

Guilt shot through her.

Why did he have to love her? She wished she loved him in return, but she only loved one man, a man who was marrying someone else.

But Lilly loves Zach! He won’t be alone like me.

She cleared her throat and tried to ignore the hurt in his eyes. “I know someone who has loved you from afar for many years now, and she would be honored to court you.”