A Place Beyond (8 page)

There was a soft knock at the door. I lifted my head and moved back to the chair, trying to regain some kind of composure. An olive-skinned woman with a kind smile poked her head in.

“We’re ready for you,” she said.

I looked at Aunt Jessie. She thanked the woman and stood.

“We can go say goodbye to Pop,” she said, sweeping her hand across her eyes and giving me a watery smile.

“Okay,” I said, my voice hoarse.

The next hour passed in a blur of tears. Pop was still in a hospital bed in an abandoned room at the other end of the hall. We took turns saying goodbye. I held his hand one last time. It was still soft and if I didn’t know better…

Later, I would wish I’d taken the time to memorize his face. But I couldn’t stay in the sterile hospital room another minute. There was too much pain and I was overwhelmed. I wanted to go home.

Ethan drove in silence. Both of us were lost in our own thoughts. I imagined this was what an out-of-body experience must be like. I was only minimally aware of the time of day or the streets we drove on. My head felt as slow and heavy as molasses.

Both of Ethan’s parents were at the house when we got there. Joanne had kept herself busy cooking pasta and sauce with meatballs and sausages. For the first time in my life, the spicy aroma of her Italian home cooking didn’t cause my mouth to water. My stomach felt uncomfortable and I couldn’t bear to eat.

My mother sat on the couch staring blankly at a nature program. Aunt Jessie sat beside her, taking her hand.

The first sound of my mother’s cough set a flash of hopelessness through me. How could I save Liam when I felt so shattered? How could I find the strength to keep fighting?

I wanted to crawl into my bed and find the kind of oblivion only sleep could bring.

As if he could read my thoughts, Ethan squeezed my shoulders. “You need to sleep.”

I nodded and sniffed. “I know.”

Joanne’s laser-like gaze focused on me. “When was the last time you slept, honey?”

I opened my mouth as I tried to remember. “I don’t even know.”

“Help her upstairs, Ethan,” she said, pinning him with a look.

“I’m on it,” he said. He wrapped an arm around my waist and nudged me toward the stairs.

I looked for Gram. She was in the front hall, hanging her jacket in i’s place right next to Pop’s.

“Gram,” I said, softly.

Without turning to me, she said, “Go on up to bed, sweetheart. I think I’ll lie down for a bit, too.”

“Okay,” I whispered, feeling helpless as I left her standing there and went up to my room with Ethan.

Normally, out of respect for Gram and Pop, Ethan wouldn’t lay down with me. But I didn’t even ask and he slipped onto my bed, holding his arms out to me.

I was so tired, I couldn’t fall asleep. I lay there, wrapped in Ethan’s arms as memories of the past few days passed through my mind on a loop. Liam on the floor of the cave. My grandmother’s face as she told me my grandfather was gone. Nicole’s hurt expression when I finally came home.

“Your heart is beating like a little hummingbird,” Ethan whispered, threading his fingers through mine. “You’ll never fall asleep if you don’t calm down, babe.”

“I know,” I whispered, trying to ignore the way my hummingbird heart skipped when he called me ‘babe’.

“Sometimes my mom talks about the breathing exercises they do at yoga. They actually help me relax. I want you to listen to the sound of my breathing until your breaths match mine. Okay?”

“Okay.”

I could feel his chest rise as he filled his lungs with air. My head went up and down with each breath in a soothing rhythm. Before a minute went by, we were in perfect sync.

It wasn’t long before my eyes began to droop and the oblivion I so desired came and took away all the pain.

I walk out the front door of Niamh’s home in Tír na n’Óg. My blood runs cold when I see the flowers and grass are dead and withered to the grayish brown ground.

I turn in a full circle, wondering how this place has been reduced to ruin in such a short time. A hill I don’t remember rises up in the meadow north of her house.

I walk until I see the hill is a mass of the brambles and vines. The vines twist and writhe and I make out faces of people trapped inside. Every single person I’ve ever loved is imprisoned inside the thorny brambles— Aodhan, Liam, Ethan, my parents and grandparents. I bury my face in my hands. I can’t bear to see them suffering so much.

I feel someone come up to my side.

I startle and look over to see Aoife standing there with a look of delighted satisfaction.

She whispers in my ear. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

I woke to find Ethan curled up behind me, his breath steady in my hair. I kept my eyes closed, not wanting to come fully awake. Shut in this room, I could pretend nothing I’d seen or heard during the past few days was real.

When I finally opened my eyes, it was dark outside. Ethan groaned and stretched behind me. I rolled onto my back, looking up at him. His face was so open and lying there with his arm draped over my waist, I wished I could be as honest with him as he was with me.

The image of my family and friends trapped beneath a hill of thorns refused to be ignored. There was no way it was a vision, I knew that much. But it spoke a lot about my deepest fears. What kind of damage would Aoife do if she continued on her path? The path I was paving for her.

Ethan raised himself up on his elbow and pressed his finger into the space between my eyebrows.

“I wish I could make this go away,” he said softly.

“Don’t tell me I have wrinkles,” I said, my lame attempt at a joke.

He cracked a tiny smile. “No,” he said, dragging his finger lightly down my cheek. “In fact, you couldn’t be more beautiful.”

I laughed, I didn’t have a witty comeback in me.

“You are,” he said. “It’s killing me that I can’t take all this pain away from you.”

He ducked his head for a second before meeting my eyes again. “I would do anything to make it easier for you, you know.”

I swallowed and stared at his earnest expression, overcome by his words. “I know you would.”

Ethan ran his hand through my hair. “Good.”

I twisted to face him, tentatively bringing my hands up to his shoulders. “I’m really glad you’re here.”

His lashes lowered, hiding his eyes. I smoothed my fingers up his neck and pulled him to me, kissing him softly.

He returned the kiss. There was something so tender about the way he held my face in his hands, like I was precious.

Emotions overcame me and I deepened the kiss, wanting to feel more of this and less of everything else.

Ethan responded just as I wanted him to, sliding his hand from my cheek slowly down my jaw. His palm smoothed down my arm to my waist, pulling me tight against him.

My skin felt flushed with a fire I’d never experienced before. In all my twenty-two years, I’d never felt anything like this before. The tips of his fingers found a place where my shirt had risen up and he traced a searing pattern on the strip of exposed skin.

He pulled back a fraction of an inch, breathing heavily. With his forehead resting on mine, he looked into my eyes. “I love you, Allison. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t.”

A shudder swept through me, and I wished I could replay those words over and over.

“I…”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything. I just needed you to know that I’m here.”

I shook my head. “Thank you. But, I feel the same. Loving you is… it’s part of who I am.”

He brushed his lips against mine again. “Let’s go check on your Gram.”

I smiled back at him, reluctantly pulling away.

I walked down the stairs to find Joanne and my mother sitting on the couch watching TV together in the dark. My mother’s head rested on Joanne’s lap and I wondered if she still remembered her.

“Were you able to get some rest, honey?” Joanne asked, concerned.

“Oh yes,” I said as I went into the kitchen and pulled out the pitcher of iced tea. “Anybody need a drink?”

“No, thank you,” Joanne said.

“I’ll take one,” Ethan said, pulling a chair out and dropping down into it.

I filled two glasses and joined Ethan at the table. The clock said it was a few minutes past eight o’clock.

“Gram is still upstairs. Your aunt and uncle went home to try to get some sleep,” Joanne said, absently running her fingers through my mother’s hair. “It’s been a long day for everyone.”

“Is there any of that pasta left?” Ethan said.

“Oh yes, plenty. Help yourself.”

Ethan heated two plates for us. Since I’d gotten some rest, I found I had quite the appetite. As I ate, I noticed a flower arrangement on the counter by the kitchen sink.

“Who are the flowers from?” I asked.

“Oh dear. Those are for you, honey. I forgot to mention that.”

“No problem,” I said, going over to see if there was a card. Even in the dark kitchen, I could make out the bright yellow lilies.

I pulled out the little rectangle and opened the envelope.

My deepest condolences. Please feel free to stop by when you’re feeling up to it.

Aodhan O’Donnell

I brought the card over and showed it to Ethan. It was such a kind gesture, a lump formed in my throat.

“Who’re they from?” Joanne asked from the couch.

“One of our neighbors, Aodhan,” I said, sniffing a little.

“Hmm, I haven’t met him. Is he nice?” she asked absently.

“Yes,” I whispered, overcome with guilt at what I still had to do. “He’s a wonderful person.”

Once we were done eating, I cleaned our dishes and asked Ethan if he’d take a walk next door with me to thank Aodhan for the flowers.

“Yeah, you okay here Ma?” he asked Joanne.

“I’m fine, you two go ahead. Beth is about ready to call it a night, I think.”

Before I turned to leave, I noticed the shine of my mother’s eyes reflected by the TV. She’d once told me that underneath her lifeless demeanor, she was fully aware of everything around her.

I went back into the living room and knelt in front of the couch, feeling more tears pooling in my eyes. She’d never gotten to say goodbye to her father. I should have killed Aoife and destroyed the amulet for my parents when I had the chance. Now I was under Aoife’s control and as much as I tried, I couldn’t think of a way to get out of it without causing more death and suffering.

“I love you, Mom,” I whispered. She wouldn’t meet my eyes, but I told myself she’d heard me and she knew.

Ethan followed me through the path to Liam’s house. Most of the leaves had fallen from the trees and we could see the house through the wooded area. The light from the living room in the back of the house shone on the small patio.

I knocked on the French door even though I knew Aodhan heard us coming.

“Come in.”

Ethan opened the door and we entered into the living room to find Aodhan leaning against the wall. His eyes were closed and his arms crossed.

“Thanks for the flowers,” I said, trying to smile.

He waved his hand and straightened. “You’re very welcome.”

“Any news?” I asked, walking over to perch on the arm of the big couch. Ethan stood by my side, our arms touching.

Aodhan shook his head. “No signs of Aoife or Tagdh.”

“Did Niamh give you any indication of what her plan is?” I said, hoping I looked curious.

He sighed. “Not really. She walks on tiptoe around me.”

“No kidding,” I said, seeing my opportunity. “I remember when we first met, you told me I couldn’t trust any of them, no matter what my instincts told me. I don’t think I’ve done a very good job taking that advice.”

He eyed me curiously. “What do you mean?”

I shrugged. “Saoirse let Aoife out of the fey globe. Aoife told me that, and I thought she was just messing with me. Saoirse has a
way
of making me see her as an ally.”

Aodhan snorted. “That she does.”

“Have you ever asked Saoirse why she would let Aoife out?” Ethan said.