A Persistant Attraction (31 page)
The question went unasked. For she knew the answer. Kitt felt responsible for her.
He felt sorry for her. But he did not love her. He would marry her out of a sense of responsibility, and to protect her. He would throw away his entire future on a misguided notion of honor. She could not let him do it.
“No.” She dropped her eyes to his chest as she spoke, blinking furiously to keep back the tears.
Kitt stiffened. “Why not?” She couldn’t tell from the sharpness of his voice whether he was angry or disappointed. When she remained silent, he asked, “Are you worried about what everyone will think?”
“No! Yes! Oh, I don’t know!” She broke away, turning to stare off down the course of the stream. Kitt moved behind her and his hands slid up her arms, leaving gooseflesh in their wake.
“You shouldn’t care.” His voice was gentle, his breath stirred the tiny wisps of hair at her temple. “I don’t.”
She closed her eyes and leaned back against him. Oh, how she wanted to believe him. She wanted to believe the
ton
didn’t matter. She wanted to believe his declaration that he didn’t care meant he cared for her enough to brave society’s censure.
But she couldn’t. The
ton
was a world of its own. If you didn’t play by its rules, regardless of your rank, you were shunned. That was the world Kitt had been born into, the only world he knew. She could not allow him to walk away from it because of her. He would never be happy, and he would eventually come to resent her. It would destroy him.
“It doesn’t matter. I can’t let you make such a sacrifice for me. I’m not worth it.” She was not prepared for his anger. His hands tightened on her shoulders and he spun her around to face him. “Not worth it?” he thundered. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Pamela would have backed away from him had the bridge wall not been behind her, forcing her to stand her ground. Blue fire blazed from his eyes. Inside, she cringed.
Drawing on the courage she had used to face her stepfather, she confronted him bravely.
“I will not be a charity case. I might consider your proposal if you loved me, but—”
“Love!” he spat with such vehemence she winced. “What in the name of all that’s holy does love have to do with this?”
“Very little to you, obviously.” Her anger rose to match his. “Nevertheless, I refuse to marry without it.”
Kitt’s mouth worked for a moment, as if he would say something more. Then, with a last blast from searing blue eyes, he spun on his heel and stalked away.
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