A Perfect Passion (4 page)

Chapter Six

This is
just a tad bit awkward. It’s more like I’m a little on the freaked out side. I’m not sure how to handle, or deal with what happened with Damien, or the strange silent dinner we just had. After we finish, I clean up, go to my room and plop down on my bed. I cross my hands behind my head, trying to wrap my brain around what happened.

Did Damien touching me,
make me horny? Hell yes. Did it scare the living crap out of me? Fuck yeah. Did I want Damien to stop? Yes. Did I want him to continue? Absolutely. Now, how do I even begin to sort this out, when all I can do is contradict myself and my thoughts?

I’ve never even thought about
being with a man. For starters, I’ve never had to deal with anything even close to this. When I was a kid, it was all about the chicks. It always has been, and guys have never once entered into it, not ever. The stereotypical things come into play about dudes, they are your hanging out buddies, your kick it around crew. This is how I was raised.

So why didn’t I stop Damien from tou
ching me? God, I have to hash this all out in my head. Not knowing why I feel a certain way about something is making me mental.

I like the fact that
Damien’s just an overall cool dude. He’s funny and easy to get along with. Damien isn’t the kind of guy to prance around throwing his opinions on everyone. He’s a self-confident man, secure in his life, cocky when it comes to business, successful, intelligent, fun and easy going. And the man, I’m certain, has never pranced a day in his life. He’s manly, a bit rugged, and he definitely has that whole bad-boy thing going on.

Is there anything not
likeable about Damien? I don’t think so. He’s not mean or arrogant, and he’s not a woman hater. He’s just a man who explores all flavors of things, as he said.

I think the reason this scares me so bad, i
s because of all the stereotypes, and to be honest, I’m not ready to face it. I’ve never held anything against a person before, and certainly don’t judge people. I take people at face value, and accept everyone’s right to be themselves. Everyone has their own opinions and expressions, they’re allowed to be who they are. I’ve never understood people who do these kinds of things to another human being. It’s what makes us all unique as people, different, but there is always someone out there who is ready to bash someone else, without regard for the persons’ feelings. It’s never made sense to me, are they all out to hide their own insecurities, and boost their own egos. It’s ridiculous.

Now the real question, the one
my mind doesn’t even want to think about is did I like it? The way he feels, the way he makes me feel? It did feel good. The physical feeling itself isn’t any different than being touched by a woman. It’s a bit shocking at first, but in those few minutes, or seconds, not sure which, my mind didn’t focus on the obvious.

Damien
’s kisses were warm, even passionate. I still broke out in goose bumps the way I’ve always done when turned on.  Maybe his hands were rougher, I don’t recall. My body responded to his caresses the same way they always have. In those few minutes, everything was great in my book, it seemed normal. Sensual, and somewhat erotic too.

So what is it I’m so scared of again?
Is it just the idea of it all being different because he’s a man, or is it because I’m worried I’ll get hurt again? Both! There were two people in my past that hurt me, and I’ve pretty much written off anything serious with anyone since.

The first was a girl named Carrie. I really fell hard for her, head over heels in love, but she didn’
t quite feel the same. She loved me, but after a year and a half, she moved on, and I was left to try to pick up shattered pieces of my heart that she left trailing after her. It was hard, I’m not even sure to this day that I’ve completely gotten past her, I’m not sure that’s even possible, but I just adapted. I’d always promised myself I wouldn’t get involved that deeply with anyone ever again, and I haven’t.

The other person is my brother, Dale. We were close, tighter than most. We did almost everything together, except for that one night
. If I had been there, my brother would still be alive.

So yes, the fears of this whole situation with Damien
, catches me on two sides, both resulting in hurt. The fear of loss, maybe. When I get too close to things they disappear, so I try to keep myself from that. Is that what this is all about?

Shit, maybe it really is, but now the question comes back around to the obvious. Is taking this any further with Damien even an option for me?
I don’t know, I honestly just don’t know.

For two reasons, this needs to get resolved. One, I need to know what he’s thinking about it all, an
d the second reason is that since I’m now living here, things could go south quick if it’s not straightened out.

I need to talk to him
!

Chapter Seven

After the uneasy
way things ended between Dax and me, I’m not sure what to think. I know I was probably out of line with what happened, but it just kind of happened. It wasn’t my plan to grope all over him like a stray cat in heat. What was I thinking? Dax, and I haven’t talked about it, we pretended it didn’t happen, but it made everything very awkward. The silent dinner was horrible.

I’m not
sure how to act, what to say. It’s not like I can walk up him, and say
‘Geez, Dax. Thanks for letting me cop a feel on your junk last night, you’re a real pal.’
God,
I need coffee bad.
Someone shoot me!

Downstairs, I let Granger out, and continue my mission to find caffeine. I’ve got a hangover from hell, my head is throbbing. As I round the corner to the kitchen, I run smack-dab into Dax.

“Oh
, crap…sorry man.” I step to the side.

“My fault.”
Dax sidesteps too, his expression full of shock.

After last night, he probably thinks I’m about to
hit my knees for an encore performance. We both move, but in same direction.
Oh god!
Face to face, we block one another’s path again.

“Sorry. I need coffee bad
.” I smile and choke at the same time.

“
Ditto, I just made us a fresh pot.”

“Thanks.” I wave my
hand for him to pass.

He looks
relieved as he passes me. Ugh, I hate these kinds of moments, when everything is out of whack, strange, and flat out awkward. I pour a cup and head outside for the newspaper.

After retrieving, I sit on the couch,
putting my coffee down on the table. Dax is in the recliner by the fireplace. I flip through the paper, not really looking for anything in particular, except the forecast.

“Ah hell.
”

“
Something wrong, Damien?” He leans forward in his chair, glancing my way.

"Storms are coming through the next couple days. A hundred percent chance of rain this afternoon, plus the next two days." I toss the paper on the couch. I rub my hands over my face. "Guess that will shut down my work for the next week or so, until it dries up."

“Seriously, storms? I guess that means I’ll be off too. I better get busy reschedule everything.” He stands up, looks out the window, and takes his cell from the end table.

“
I need to call the foreman on each of the sites, and check in with the office.” I stand and walk upstairs.

Work wise, this isn’t what I need
right now, but I can’t control Mother Nature. The reporters are going to have a field day, again. At least now, I can take a few days off.

After spending three hours calling everyone, I finally peel my ear from the phone and head back downstairs.

“Did you get all your calls taken care of?”

“Yes,
finally, and I took off a few days while at it. I think the last day I had off was this time a year ago. Granger needs shots, plus I need to get all my tax info together.” I wipe the sweat from my brow.

“
I’m headed over to my parents, kind of our Sunday thing to have lunch, but I’ll be back tonight. Need anything while I’m gone?”

“No thanks, I’m good.”

“Okay Damien, enjoy your day.” He turns to walk away, but glances back.

“He
y, did you want to ride? You’re more than welcome to come with me.”

“Nah,
I’m good. But hey, thanks, I appreciate it.” He digs through the basket, grabs his keys and strolls out the door.

I’m surprised he asked, that
was pretty cool of him. At least it temporarily broke the ice for a few minutes. My house phone rings, and I snatch it up, only seeing the caller ID afterward. It’s Aaron.

“Hi,” h
e says.

“What Aaron?”
I clench the phone, I’m going to end up shattering it, I swear.

“I just wanted to see if you were okay.”

“I’m fine. I need the clicker for the garage door.”

“Oh sorry,
I forgot to give it back. I left a few things in the garage too. I’ll come by in a couple hours, all right?”

“Yeah, fine Aaron.” I slam the phone down.

I don’t want to talk to Aaron, much less see him, but I also don’t want him having a way inside my home when I’m not here. That trust is shot to shit. I try to be a forgiving and caring person, sometimes that’s just impossible. Especially in a situation like this.

Thunder booms,
and the crack of lightning snaps across the sky like a Dom’s whip. Dark gray clouds roll over the blue sky, as sporadic bolts detonate the skyline with light. The bottom’s about to fall out, so I run out to throw a few things in the mailbox, and let Granger piss before the storm hits. When I stroll back inside, the scent of Dax’s cologne radiates off of his jacket that hangs by the front door.

I flash back
to what’s happened in the short time he’s been here. I honestly hope we can get past things, I never meant to make him skittish or uncomfortable around me. He’s just a good, down to earth man, I was way off base by letting my alcohol take over me the way it did.

Although I would love things to go further, I’ll have to keep him in his mind. Just thinking of him m
akes me horny. The way he walks, and laughs. His smile is so sexy.
Fuck me.
I lay on the couch, feeling the tingle in my cock. I slip my jogging pants over my dick, wrapping my hand around it. As I think of him, and his pouty lips, I stroke up and down on my shaft imaging the way it felt with him leaning back against me, as I slithered my hands across his chest. I pump harder, and faster. I imagine what it would have been like to be him over and sink my dick into him. Oh yeah… I start breathing harder. Faster and faster, I jerk my dick knowing I’m about to cum. I close my eyes, and imagine fucking him in the mouth.
Yesss.
I cream all over my sweats.

***

A hairy nudge against my face wakes me up. I try to push Granger out of my face. When I shove him, I snap to full alert. It’s Aaron.

“What the hell? Get away from me!”
My feet scramble to find a grip so I can push myself up straight.

“Hey you.”

He leans towards me, but I push him away. The room swirls back into focus. I fell asleep on the couch. What is he doing here? Wait…

“How the fuck did you get in my house?”
I jump up off the couch, and stare at him.

“T
he garage door.”

“Hand it over Aaron, now
!”

“What? Are you trying to tell me we’re done, after the time we spent together? Seriously Damien?”

I hold out my hand and wave my fingertips towards me, giving him the ‘hand it to me now’ motion. Aaron slams the clicker in my palm. He’s pissed, but I’m beyond that right now.

“Get your stuff out of my garage
, then go.” I cross my arms across my chest.

“Fine!”
Aaron peacocks towards the front door, and then spots it.

“Who the fuck does this belong too?” He picks up Dax’s jacket off the hook.

I point at the door. “Leave Aaron.”

Aw hell!
I see the front door knob turn. Dax walks in. His eyebrows pinch in the middle, and his lips thin as he looks down on Aaron. This just turned serious, real quick like.

“Not until you tell me who this belongs t
oo.”

Dax
towers over Aaron, his hand reaching out for his jacket.

“This…belongs to me.” Aaron tilts his head up towards Dax.

“What? Wait, how did you get in here, the door was locked? I tried it from outside.”

“My key.” He dangles it in the air
, giving him a shit-eating grin. “Damien, is everything okay here?”

“Yes, Aaron came to drop of…”

“Oh, I remember, he has my garage door remote right?” He gives me a wink, assuring me that he’s got control of the situation.

“Um…yes, it’s here.” I hold out my hand
, showing him.

“
What the hell is going on Damien?” Aaron’s eyes dart back and forth from me to Dax.

“Don’t see how any of that is your business anymore Aaron, now is it?”

If looks could kill, I’d be pushing up daisies about now from the look Aaron just gave me.

“You hypoc
ritical cockfag.” Aaron grits his teeth. “Let me tell you both something you worthless…”

“Look
twatwaffle, you need to get out of Damien’s house, now.”

Dax places his hand
against the small of Aarons back, guiding him towards the door.

“Take your fucking hands off me.”
Aaron, lunges away from him, and throws his hands up in the air.

Dax ushers him out the door, while
I pick my mouth up off the floor. Damn, damn! I didn’t mean for all that to happen, this is not good.

I follow them
outside, taking my stance next to Dax. I’m not even sure what to say. He lights up a smoke. We watch, as Aaron puts two boxes in his truck. He flips us the bird, shredding rubber down the street.

“Dude, man I’m sorry Damien. I know it wasn’t my place at all to do that
, but the man has no right to question you in your own home.”

“I know. Sorry you walked in on that. I wasn’t planning to let him in the house, but I fell asleep and he came in through the garage door.”

“Sneaky little bastard, isn’t he?” He elbows me in the side.

“Like a rattlesnake
hidin’ in grass.”

Dax laughs and we walk back into the house.