A Night With Consequences (15 page)

What exactly did that mean? Be involved? On what basis? A part-time father? Or would he do the honourable thing and suggest marriage? Her heart raced at the thought of being married to Blake. Suddenly she could think of nothing she would like better than to be married to Blake, to go to bed in his arms every night and to share her deepest fears over the future. Being Blake’s wife would be the perfect solution to this problem, but Blake had said he would never marry again. And she had no idea what was in his mind now.

She already knew his views on marriage, but now there was a child involved—
his
child. Did he believe in a child having two parents who were tied together by marriage? Or was he a modern man who believed that marriage was not necessary to raise a baby? She did not doubt that he would provide for her and the baby, but how about personal support? Would she get that?

Would he want her to live with him? Or would his support come in the form of financial security? There was so much they had to talk about.

‘I’m not trying to get out of anything, Kara, but I need to know your plans.’

‘I’ve not had time yet to make any,’ she threw back crisply.

‘It has come as a great shock to both of us,’ he agreed. ‘I will obviously get you the best medical attention possible. I will personally—’

Kara held up her hand and shook her head at the same time. ‘Don’t think that throwing your money at this is the answer, Blake. What would have been nice was your belief in me. Have you any idea how much it hurt when you questioned whether the baby was yours? I guess I was stupid, naive. You didn’t want anything long-term from me. You’re simply after yet another affair. I’m just one in a long line.’

How she managed to speak without breaking down Kara had no idea, but she was not going to give Blake the pleasure of knowing how much he had upset her. Anger was her best form of defence.

‘That is not the case.’

‘What? I’m
not
one in a long line?’ His affairs were common knowledge in the office. Everyone knew what he was like.

Blake shrugged. ‘I admit I have had girlfriends. You already know that. But you are different.’

‘And isn’t that what you say to them all?’ Her words came hot and fast, and she didn’t care. Her whole world was crumbling about her feet. It had been bad enough when her father was alive, but now it was a thousand
times worse. What she needed, what she really wanted, she suddenly realised, was his instant reassurance that this baby would bring them even closer together. She could do without the whole marriage thing, but she could not do without Blake. She knew now that she had fallen in love with him. He had made her feel wanted and special and free for the first time in her life, but his attitude now was causing her nothing but heartache.

‘Such a question does not deserve an answer, Kara.’ His jaw tensed, muscles working in his cheeks as he strove to keep a hold on his temper.

Perhaps it had been below the belt. But she was angry. Damned angry. She felt that it was only grudgingly that he was offering her the support she needed, for duty’s sake. She and the baby were a mistake that Blake wanted cleared up. She would have to take his help, of course—she would be a fool not to—but, oh, how she longed for him to have offered it straight from his heart.

‘The first thing we need to do is make a doctor’s appointment to get your condition confirmed.’

‘I don’t need it to be confirmed, Blake.’ She kept her eyes steady on his, challenging him.

‘But you still need to see a doctor. I wish to take care of you.’

He wished! Kara wished that she had never gone to Italy with him. It was turning out to be the biggest mistake she had ever made! What a fool to fall in love with her boss—a man who clearly had a heart of stone. It was the worst thing she had ever done. But he was throwing her a lifeline, and she would be an even bigger fool to turn it down. ‘Very well,’ she answered reluctantly.

‘Do you want to take some time off work?’

He was being so damned practical! All she wanted was his love! But that was an empty dream now. It would never happen. He was doing what he was doing because it was the right thing. ‘I would appreciate a few days. My mother’s not well. She’s been in hospital.’ She would love to tell him the reason why, but their relationship was clearly over. She would never share those secrets with Blake now.

‘Why didn’t you say?’ he asked at once, his eyes sharp with surprise. ‘You should not have come in under those circumstances.’

‘And have you thinking that I was being a coward? Not a chance, Blake.’ She saw the way his nostrils dilated, the flare in his eyes quickly disguised, and felt a grim sort of pleasure.

‘I’ll drive you home,’ he said. ‘You should be with her.’

Kara’s chin tilted. ‘There’s no need. I have my car.’

It was not until she’d left his office that Kara realised how badly she needed to breathe. She drew in deep lungfuls of air, closing her eyes and holding on to the edge of her desk as she felt her world swing on its axis. She did not see Blake follow her. Knew nothing until she felt an arm about her waist, her head pulled down on his shoulder.

‘I’m taking you home,’ he said firmly. ‘No arguments. You’re in no fit state to get behind the wheel.’

Thanks to you, she thought, wanting to pull free but unable to stop herself responding to his touch. Crazily, in spite of everything, she wanted to relax and let him take care of her. She wanted his strength to be her strength. It would be so easy. And yet so dangerous!

She sat silently beside him in the back of the car, hardly conscious of him issuing instructions to his driver. It was not until they reached her house, when Blake jumped out and made to walk up the path, that she spoke. ‘There’s no need for you to see me in. I’m—’

‘I believe there is,’ he said sharply. ‘Besides, I’d like to see your mother. To a degree I feel at fault. If there is anything I can do to help, then—’

‘We don’t need your help, Blake,’ she said with fierce determination, wanting to tell him the whole truth, confess the desperate situation they were in, but knowing it would do her no good. ‘All we want—all I want is to get on with my life.’

Blake’s eyes sparked determination. ‘You’re forgetting that I am a part of your life now.’

And trying to stop Blake when he had set his mind on something was like trying to hold a London double-decker bus up in the air single-handedly.

Lynne’s face was a picture when Blake followed Kara into the house. ‘Mrs Redman,’ he said immediately. ‘Kara tells me you’ve been in hospital. I trust you’re feeling better?’

Kara saw the surprise on her mother’s face and spoke quickly. ‘Blake says that I can take a few days off to look after you. Isn’t that good of him?’

Her parent looked from her to Blake and then back again. ‘Yes, it is. Thank you, Blake.’ But her words were stilted, and Kara knew that she did not mean them.

‘It is my pleasure,’ he answered.

‘I will take the rest of this week off, if that’s all right,’ said Kara quickly, anxious to get rid of him, out of her house and her life, so she could start the difficult task
of moving on and getting over him—as if that would ever be possible! ‘But I will be at my desk first thing on Monday morning.’

Kara did not realise quite how tense she was until he had left, then she sank down on a chair and closed her eyes. But she soon snapped them open again when her mother spoke.

‘What have you told him?’

‘Nothing. Just that you’ve been in hospital. He didn’t ask why and I didn’t volunteer anything. You don’t really think I’d tell him about our money troubles?’

Lynne closed her eyes, and she was silent for so long that Kara began to feel worried. ‘Mum?’

‘Blake’s a good man, you know,’ Lynne said, looking at her daughter now.

Kara sighed. ‘I know. He’s promised to help, but I have a feeling that deep down inside he hates me now. I just know it. Me and this baby are going to be a complication in his life and he doesn’t like it. Oh, Mum, everything was going so well between us. I really thought my whole life was going to change. I’ve been such a fool.’

‘You have been no such thing, Kara,’ said Lynne, pulling her daughter into her arms. ‘Blake just needs time to get used to the idea of the baby.’

During the week that followed Kara tried to push Blake out of her mind—except that it was virtually impossible. The practical half of her hated him. The other half, the sentimental half, grieved that she might never see him again, might never be held in his arms or share his bed again. He had taught her what love was all about and she
had embraced it with both arms—and now they were empty, and destined to remain that way.

The only person she would have to love would be her baby. Blake’s baby! The baby he didn’t want! He was going to take care of her welfare during her pregnancy, and hopefully later he would want to play a part in the baby’s life. But as far as she could see it would only be duty that kept him close. Commitment and marriage were anathema to him.

She’d half expected him to pay them a visit, or at least telephone to say that he had made her an appointment with a doctor, but she heard nothing. A whole week of nothing. And although her mother’s health improved, her own temper did not.

It was not until she arrived for work on Monday morning that Kara found out why he had not been in touch—and her heartbeat accelerated to such a degree that she felt sure it was not good for her.

Blake had been involved in a car accident a week earlier. He hadn’t been in the office since, and was now convalescing at home.

A week ago!
The day he had left her house!

Kara’s heart went cold. Why hadn’t he told her? Wasn’t he well enough? Or did he think she had worries enough? Maybe she ought to go and see him? Or telephone him at least?

She was kept busy all day, but as soon as she got home she rang him. ‘Blake, it’s Kara. I’ve heard about your accident. Why didn’t you let me know?’

A few seconds went by before he spoke. A few worrying seconds. Was she doing the wrong thing, phoning
him? Did Blake want nothing more to do with her now? Was that why he hadn’t told her about his accident?

‘I thought you had enough to contend with.’

Had he perhaps thought she wouldn’t care? Even hearing the sound of his voice sent a tingle through her body. ‘How are you?’

‘Recovering.’

‘Can I come and see you? No one seems to know exactly what your injuries are.’

There was a long pause before he answered. And when he did speak his voice was oddly quiet. ‘I’d like that.’

‘I’ll be there straight away—if that’s OK?’ It seemed important to her that she should not wait. Though if she had stopped to ask herself why she would not have been able to give an answer. She ought not to care. But she did. She loved Blake despite everything, and she was concerned for him—she wanted to see for herself what his injuries were.

‘Only if you let me send my driver for you. I’m not sure your car will make the journey here and back.’

Kara smiled into the phone. Her car was so old that it was a wonder it hadn’t given up the ghost a long time ago.

When she arrived at Blake’s house she was let in by his housekeeper. ‘I’m warning you, Kara, he is not a good patient—he’s very grouchy. You’ll find him in his study. His injuries haven’t stopped him playing with his computer.’

Playing! What Kara saw on the screen as she entered the room was columns of figures. He was working.

Naturally. She might have known it would take a lot to keep Blake away from his work.

The moment she looked at him, the moment her eyes met his, Kara knew that it had been a mistake to come. No matter how she tried, she could not hate him. The love inside her flowed through her limbs like warm honey. All she wanted to do was go to him and feel his arms around her. She wanted back the man she had fallen in love with in Italy.

‘What happened, Blake?’ she asked quietly, walking towards him. Apart from some marks on his face she could see no other sign of injury.

‘I’m sure you don’t really want to know.’

‘Of course I do,’ she said at once. ‘I wouldn’t be here otherwise.’

Blake shook his head and closed his eyes, as if reliving the scene. ‘It was the night I last saw you. I couldn’t sleep. So I decided to take the car out—anywhere. I didn’t care. I drove too fast. But it was the drunken idiots in the other car who caused the accident. A head-on collision. I was lucky. I have five broken ribs as well as some pretty bad bruises.’

‘Five?’ she asked in horror. ‘Oh, Blake!’ Instinct made her go to him and rest her hand across his shoulder. She bowed her face to his and touched her lips to his cheek. ‘I’m sorry—so sorry.’

‘It was not your fault,’ he growled.

Kara felt that it was. ‘If you hadn’t been angry at me then you wouldn’t have driven so fast.’

‘Come here.’ He urged her down on his lap, his mouth seeking hers, and Kara did not have the strength to refuse him. Her blood burned hot and strong as his
kiss deepened, and every thought that it was wrong to be allowing this after the way he had reacted to her pregnancy disappeared.

All she wanted was his kisses—his hot, hungry kisses. They did more than breathe life into her. They consumed her, made her totally his. Everything else was forgotten. This was the Blake she had known in Italy—the Blake who had taught her the pleasures of the flesh and the intimacy of loving someone.

She heard the soft noises emanating from the back of her throat, felt her body melt against him, and felt too the way he was losing hold. It seemed that his pain was forgotten as he devoured her mouth; all he wanted was to kiss her. And this was what she wanted too. She had missed the passion between them, the sensations that warmed and thrilled her, the knowledge that Blake found her desirable.

Without even realising what she was doing Kara twisted around so that she was straddling his legs, careful not to press against his chest. The look in his eyes was one she remembered well: the glazed look of a man filled with raw need over which he had no control.

She too felt as though she was drowning…swimming against a current too strong to fight.
I love you, Blake.
The words filled her head but she did not speak them—knew that she dared not. Instead she touched her hands to the sides of his face and this time she kissed him, allowing her tongue to explore the shape of his lips, the moist heat inside his mouth, finally touching her tongue to his.