A Night to Remember (14 page)

“Where can I reach you?” Edna asked.

“You can't,” Joshua said curtly. “Any problems that turn up here will have to wait until tomorrow. Or until I can get to them. Understood?”

Edna pushed her glasses up to the bridge of her nose. “I can handle things at this end.”

Joshua glowered silently at her, needing no words to convey his feelings.

He hastened down to the parking garage, but wisely took a moment to study the road map before pulling out. Eleanor hadn't answered her home phone all morning and the only other place that Joshua knew to look for her was at the library. He reasoned if he couldn't find her there, he'd find her apartment and wait out front in his car for her to get back.

Damage control. That was what was needed today. Thankfully it was an area he had expertise in, but he never thought it would be such a critically necessary skill in a personal relationship.

A horn blared angrily behind him. Joshua glanced up and saw the light had changed from red to green. He blew out his breath and made a sharp right turn, heading for the bridge.

He made the drive to New Jersey in record time, despite the traffic on the bridge and getting lost twice in the suburban neighborhood where the library was located.

Today the library lot was as crowded as it had been the Saturday morning he had first been there, but with quick reflexes and a substantially smaller car, Joshua was able to snatch the last parking space away from a woman driving an overgrown SUV

The air-conditioned coolness of the building was a welcome relief from the sticky outside warmth. Joshua took a moment to get his bearings. For some reason he expected it to be quiet inside. After all, it was a library.

Yet the main desk was busy, humming with the conversations of the wide assortment of people checking out materials. His first thought was to inquire if Eleanor was there, but it was so crowded he decided he could locate her faster on his own.

He walked through the small archway to the left of the main desk and entered the children's department, where the volume increased considerably.

It was like walking onto an alien spaceship. There seemed to be kids everywhere—sitting in little chairs, banging on computer keyboards, crawling over piles of books. Some were laughing, a few were crying, one was screaming at the top of his lungs. How could you even think in this chaos?

Joshua shifted uncomfortably, feeling the intrusive scrutiny of a woman as she walked past. She gave him the once-over from head to toe, and two things immediately became obvious to him. He was definitely overdressed in his pin-striped suit and shiny leather shoes, and he was also the only male in the room over the age of ten.

But his height advantage gave him a clear view of the room. He scanned anxiously for any sign of Eleanor, feeling a twinge of disappointment when he didn't find her.

Joshua turned to leave, but above the din heard a twinkling female laugh. Eleanor. He followed the sound down a narrow row of books, rounded the corner, and found her crouched in a squatting position, pulling books off a bottom shelf.

“Okay, Carol, I've given you every single book we own on humpback whales,” Eleanor said with a smile. “Now do you think you have enough material for your report?”

The young girl giggled and lifted one knee to keep the tall stack of books from sliding out of her arms. “I'll go show these to my mom. If we need more stuff, I'll find you.”

“I'll be at the reference desk,” Eleanor cheerfully replied. She duck-walked a few steps to the left and started rearranging the books on the bottom shelf.

“Hello, Eleanor,” he said softly.

Her hands froze. Ever so slowly she turned her head and raised her gaze.

“Joshua?”

The shock made her lose her balance and topple backward. Although she was close to the ground, he could tell she landed hard on her rump by the sound she made when she hit the floor.

“Eleanor!” Joshua rushed forward.

He reached down to help her and she lifted her chin. The look in her eyes warned him to keep his distance. Despite the cool temperature of the room, Joshua could feel himself starting to sweat.

He had expected her anger, had thought himself prepared to face and diffuse it. But he had also expected to see some of the woman he knew. Her shy blushes, nervous finger twisting, those coveted glances discreetly thrown his way that she thought he wasn't aware of.

Yet there was no sign of the former behavior he had found so charming. She regained her feet awkwardly and faced him squarely.

“Are you lost?” Eleanor folded her arms over her chest. “If you need directions to the city, they have detailed maps in the adult reference department. On the second floor.”

“I'm not going anywhere.” Joshua leaned against the bookshelf. “We need to talk, Eleanor.”

“Oh, no.” She shook her head vehemently. “I recognize that stubborn expression on your face all too well. You don't want to talk with me, you want to talk at me. No, thank you.”

She turned and fled. He stood in place for a moment. No,
thank you?
He unfroze and doggedly followed her. His initial impression that she wasn't pleased to see him was confirmed when she slipped behind the long, narrow desk, with the sign on front that said, CHILDREN'S REFERENCE AND INFORMATION.

“If you have a question pertaining to children's literature, I'd be happy to answer it. If not, kindly leave.” Eleanor raised her chin self-righteously. “I've already been fired from one job this week. I absolutely cannot afford to lose another position.”

Ouch. That was a tough one to easily refute.
Joshua cleared his throat. “That's one of the reasons I need to talk with you, Eleanor. There's been a mistake. A complete misunderstanding. I never meant for you to be fired.”

“Really?” She gave a dismissive snort and turned away. “The letter I received was very emphatic about my termination. I'm certain that I didn't misunderstand the meaning. Plus, your signature was on the letter. I assume you read it. After all, it is a very unsound business practice to sign important documents without first reading them.”

Joshua's jaw tightened. “Edna Jackson has been my personal assistant for six years. She can write my signature better than I can. She wrote the letter. And signed it.”

Eleanor gave him a disbelieving stare. “What could I ever have possibly done to Mrs. Jackson that would cause her to fire me? I doubt she even has the authority.”

“She doesn't have the authority. Edna misunderstood some notes I had made.”

“Ah-ha! So the order did come from you.”

“It did not,” Joshua said briskly. Eleanor sounded so smug. And since her reasoning was logical and partially true, it made him feel like an idiot. “If you would just let me explain, I know you'll agree this was an innocent mistake.”

“Excuse me.” A young woman with a rambunctious toddler walked up to the desk. She gave Joshua a curious look. “I'm sorry to interrupt, but could you tell me who wrote
The Very Hungry Caterpillar?
I have to read a book to my son's nursery school class and he asked me to bring that one since it's his favorite story.”

“Good choice. It's a perfect read-aloud for preschoolers.” Eleanor smiled pleasantly at the woman. “Eric Carle wrote that story. We own several copies. I shelved one just this morning. You'll find it in the picture book section, under the first three letters of the author's last name.”

“Thank you.”

“If you have any trouble, just come and get me and I'll be glad to find it for you.”

“Thanks.” With a happy nod, the woman and little boy left.

Joshua drew in a breath. “Eleanor—”

“Why don't you have any Ramona books? My friend was here on Saturday and she got two but she said you had a lot. But there aren't any on the shelf.”

Joshua glowered at the girl who had so rudely interrupted him, but she didn't even notice him.

“Beverly Cleary writes the Ramona stories,” Eleanor explained. “Did you look in the fiction section under Cl-e for the books?”

The youngster rolled her eyes. “I know Beverly Cleary is the author. And I know how to find the books on the shelf. I looked, but you don't have any Ramona books.”

Eleanor tapped her chin thoughtfully with her finger. “Which shelves were you looking on?”

“Those.” The girl swung her arm and pointed to the far side of the room.

“Ahhh, I see the problem. That section is for picture books. You need to search in the fiction area. Let me show—”

“I know where it is,” the girl insisted, stomping off.

“Nice kid. Excellent manners,” Joshua muttered sarcastically. “If she acts like that at this age, I can only imagine how charming she'll be when she's a teenager.”

Eleanor shrugged, but he could see the twinkle of amusement in her eye. Maybe she was beginning to lose some of her anger. “Eleanor, you've got to give me a chance to explain about this mix-up. Our relationship is too important, too special to be thrown away over a misunderstanding.”

“We do not have a relationship, Joshua,” she retorted in a bitter voice. “You just don't—”

Eleanor abruptly stopped. The rigidity left her body and she seemed to visibly soften before his eyes. Joshua grinned with delight, then realized she was focusing her attention on someone else, someone standing behind him.

He whirled around and saw a timid boy slowly creeping near the desk. His eyes were darting to and fro and it looked like a loud noise would make him take off like a shot. When he got closer to her, Eleanor bent low, meeting him at eye level.

“Can I help you find something?” she asked in a gentle tone.

The child's eyes grew big and round and for a moment Joshua thought he would turn and bolt. But he swallowed hard and asked in a whisper, “Do you have a Mexican dictionary?”

Eleanor's expression grew serious. “The people in Mexico speak Spanish,” she said in that same gentle tone. “I bet you're doing that assignment for Mrs. Field's class, where you have to write the days of the week the way a schoolboy in Mexico would say them.”

The boy broke into a relieved smile and nodded his head enthusiastically. “I have my homework sheet.” He held up a crumpled piece of paper.

“Great. I have the perfect book for you.” She reached behind the desk and pulled out a short, thick book. “If you look up the word in English, the Spanish translation is next to it. Let's try the first one together.”

The boy practically sat in Eleanor's lap as they huddled over the book together. For a moment Joshua envied the child. Given Eleanor's current mood, there was no way in hell that Joshua could get that close to her.

“That's easy,” the boy proclaimed with delight.

Eleanor smiled. “I knew you could do it. I don't think you'll need it, but if you want any more help, please ask me.”

The boy clutched the book to his chest and replied confidently, “Thank you, Miss Graham.”

As soon as the youngster left, Eleanor turned her attention back to Joshua. The pleasant expression immediately left her face. “As you can see, I'm very busy. There really isn't anything more for us to say to each other. I'd appreciate it if you would leave. Now.”

Joshua frowned. He had never realized what an obstinate, hardheaded woman she could be. Of all the times for her to start exercising her independent streak! Yet this new discovery served to only raise her higher in his esteem.

He never liked women who were too meek and agreeable. During the weekend they had spent together he had needed her to be accommodating and supportive, but now he was more than willing to concede that she had a right to her anger and indignity. Even though it was proving to be a royal pain in the butt for him, Joshua was glad she had the guts to stand up to him.

“I'll leave, but just to be fair, I'm warning you.” Joshua focused on Eleanor's face. “I'll be back.”

“Ready for some dinner?”

Joshua's voice cut through Eleanor's troubled thoughts. He stood in the library parking lot, arms folded casually across his chest, one hip braced against the hood of an expensive sports car. His, no doubt.

Eleanor's eyes narrowed. Part of her was surprised to find him out there, waiting for her, yet another part told her it was to be expected. She had actually said no to him, had refused to listen to his explanations. He was probably in mild shock over the event.

Besides, he had warned her that he wasn't going anywhere.

“What kind of food are you in the mood to eat?” Joshua asked, pushing himself away from the car. “Chinese, Italian? How about Mexican? If you bring that dictionary along we can translate the menu before we order our meal.”

“I'm not hungry,” Eleanor retorted, deliberately sidestepping him. She lifted her chin and walked briskly to her car.

Joshua's hand was on the door handle before she could get her key in the lock. “Stop running away from me, Eleanor.”

Her mouth opened with a ready retort, but the words never passed her lips. He was right. She was running away. And this whole mess apparently wouldn't be resolved until she stopped.

“Okay, we'll talk. But there's no need to bully me.”

“I've hardly been doing that.”

“You certainly have, but I'm sure your elevated level of testosterone has completely marred your judgment.” Eleanor opened the car door, reached inside, and flipped the switch that unlocked the passenger-side door. “Get in.”

He stared down at her. Something in his expression made her heart lurch. He looked like a little boy who'd just been caught raiding the cookie jar. She told herself she was glad her words had some impact on him, but a corner of her conscience cried out.

Had she gone too far? He looked almost wounded by her comments.
Stop it,
Eleanor commanded herself. Her nerves were starting to gain control of her emotions, and that could lead to real disaster. Despite the revelations she had reached about her nonexistent future prospects with Joshua, the feelings he evoked in her were strong and powerful.

It wouldn't be wise to remain in his company for very long.

Her door slammed after he got in the car. The seat was positioned forward and his knees bumped against the dashboard. His physical presence seemed overwhelming in the small space.

“As I tried to tell you before, your letter of termination was a complete mistake.” Joshua turned toward her, flashing his killer, Prince-Charming smile. “If you want, you can have your old job back.”

“Ha!” She cast him a sneering look. “If I hire myself a shark attorney with a track record and a taste for blood, I can have your whole damn company.”

The grin disappeared. Joshua looked at her in genuine disbelief. “That was a very nasty remark.”

“Not uncalled-for, however,” she scoffed, her face warming. “I was treated shabbily by the firm, for no apparent reason, other than sleeping with the boss. I'm not feeling particularly charitable right now.”

“I'm really sorry about this mess. It's entirely my fault.” Joshua placed his hand over hers.

Eleanor gripped the steering wheel tightly. His touch still had the power to turn her insides to the consistency of warm oatmeal and her vulnerability terrified her.

“What can I do to make this right?” he asked.

“Nothing.” The discussion was starting to get dangerous. His sincere regret was lessening her righteous anger, and Eleanor knew she needed it to complete the conversation.

“I was given a termination package from the human resources department yesterday. You're very generous with former employees.” A thread of irony crept into her voice. “I explained my change of circumstances to the library director this morning. Fortunately there is enough money in the budget for her to add additional hours to my current schedule.

“Working part-time here will allow me to go to school full-time. Being suddenly fired forced me to make a career change a little sooner than I planned, but now I'll be a professional by the end of the year.”

She felt his hesitancy. “How are you fixed financially?” he finally asked. “Do you need any money?”

Eleanor told herself that she was not going to get angry. Or insulted. He was trying to help. This was probably how wealthy individuals dealt with difficulties. They solved a problem by throwing money at it.

“Believe it or not, the county will help pay my school tuition. I have a healthy savings account that I can dip into to supplement my modest salary.” Eleanor's lips tightened into a stubborn line. “My overall expenses are modest and I know how to economize. I'll manage.”

A flush stained his cheeks. “I guess it would be stupid to suggest I pay your living expenses while you're attending school?”

“You guessed right.” For the first time Eleanor smiled. She knew it was wrong to enjoy Joshua's discomfort, but she had suffered enough over the past week to get a lift from it.

“Well, at least one good thing came out of all of this mess.” Joshua sidled as close as the center console would allow. “Since you're no longer my employee, the company rules against dating aren't an issue. We can concentrate on our relationship without any outside distractions.”

Two weeks ago she would have sold her soul to hear him say those words. Up until yesterday afternoon she would have believed what he was offering was too good to pass up. But no longer.

For years, she had been completely mesmerized by the idea of Joshua. The man she had built up in her mind, the one she had formed a restless infatuation with, was a perfect, infallible male icon. Discovering Joshua's feet of clay as he ignored her completely in the hallway yesterday had not only surprised, but hurt her.

She was honest enough to admit that it wasn't entirely his fault. No human being is perfect and truly no person could have lived up to the expectations she had created in her mind. Yet it was like being suddenly awakened from an incredible dream, and she harbored a trace of resentment toward the man who had jolted her away from her fantasy.

“There is no relationship, Joshua.”

There was confusion in his eyes. “I know you have feelings for me, Eleanor.”

She blushed. “The feelings I had, or thought I had, were all based on a myth. An inflated, unrealistic view I had of you. It wasn't fair to me or you.”

“You can't deny that we had a special time together. It meant something to me.”

“Yes, it was special.” Eleanor sighed and turned away, finding the intensity in his gaze unnerving. “But the reality was, we did everything that weekend exactly the way you wanted. You set the rules, from lying to your father about me being your girlfriend to the dress I wore to the party.

“As I told you more than once, I was just along for the ride. You were in control the entire time. It makes sense that you would now think it was very special, that I was special. Who wouldn't be thrilled to have a companion who catered to their every whim? Who was agreeable, quickly made concessions, did whatever was necessary to appease?”

A shadow crossed his face. “It wasn't like that,” Joshua protested.

Eleanor shook her head. “Yes it was. I'm not complaining. I had an incredible time, and I'll never forget it. But it wasn't based on reality. At least not the reality of who I am.”

He turned his head and forced her to meet his gaze. Their eyes locked, and something dark flashed between them. “That is pure bullshit.”

“That's reality.”

Eleanor's posture grew more rigid and she held her face carefully expressionless. It was the truth, though not perhaps the entire truth. He could still arouse emotions and feelings in her with a simple smile, but she wouldn't be so easily won over.

“You're afraid,” he whispered in amazement. “It isn't me you doubt, but yourself.”

Eleanor squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. “Spare me the psychoanalysis.”

He glared over at her. “It's the truth. You're afraid, so you're running away.”

“Oh, please. You sound like a badly written article in a teen magazine.”

He regarded her in silence for a long moment. “If you're not afraid of a relationship between us, then prove it. Have dinner with me.”

Eleanor shook her head sadly. “I don't have to prove anything, Joshua.”

He got a calculating look on his face that made her shiver. Eleanor inched slowly away from him, pressing her forehead against the edge of the warm glass of her half-opened window.

“I'm not willing to walk away from this so easily,” Joshua declared flatly.

“You have no choice.”

“There are always choices, Eleanor.”

The conversation was turning serious and obstinate. Eleanor glanced over at Joshua and felt slightly better when she saw a spark of mischief in his eyes. But she forced herself to ignore that hopeful glimmer.

Reminding herself it was for the best, she spoke the words that were swirling in her head. And yet even before they left her lips, she felt enveloped in a strange sense of loss.

“I've thought long and hard about this situation. Our backgrounds are too dissimilar, our expectations of life too opposite. The feelings and emotions we've experienced might be enticing, but they aren't enough. I've made up my mind. It would be a mistake for us to even attempt a relationship.”

He opened the car door and exited without a word. Eleanor's fingers tightened on the steering wheel as confusion gripped her. This was for the best, right?

He stalked over to the driver's side of the car and leaned inside her window. “So, you've made up your mind about us?”

She nodded briskly.

“Well, sugar, it looks like I'll just have to change it.”

 

 

The shrill ring of the phone echoed through Eleanor's apartment. Out of habit, she glanced over at the digital clock, but it wasn't necessary. She already knew it would read seven
P.M.

She let the phone ring again, then a third time, took a deep breath, and lifted the receiver.

“It's me,” a deep masculine voice said.

“I know. Hello, Joshua.”

“How are you?”

“Just fine. And yourself?”

“Lonely.”

Then get a dog. Or a girlfriend.
Tonight she nearly said it, just to push his temper, but perversely admitted to herself that she didn't want him to follow either suggestion.

“What's new at the library?”

Eleanor sighed. He always began these nightly calls with the same questions. She hesitated, then finally blurted out what she had been thinking all week. “I can't believe you are honestly interested in what went on at the library.”

His tone turned serious. “If it affects you, I'm interested. I enjoy hearing about your day.” He cleared his throat and the tone changed again—to upbeat, amused. “Tell me, what was the most difficult question you answered today?”

Eleanor twisted the cord around her index finger. “It wasn't exactly difficult, but I had a tough time convincing a third grader that I didn't have any books with a photograph of a woolly mammoth.”

Joshua laughed. “No photographs! What sort of establishment are you running, Ms. Graham?”

She smiled. “Not a very good one, according to this child. I showed him at least a dozen books with drawings and sketches, but he kept insisting on a photograph. He was very disappointed. I tried to explain, but I don't think he believed me when I said there weren't any cameras several million years ago.”

“Poor kid. You should have told him all the photos were destroyed when the earth froze.”

Eleanor shrugged and leaned against the cushioned arm of her couch. “He still took his disappointment better than the argument I had with a woman who wanted a library card. She told me she lived in a different town, but she owned land in our community and was entitled to a card. But when I asked to see a tax bill to prove that she pays property taxes, she didn't have one. Turns out she owns a cemetery plot.”

“She equated a cemetery plot with owning land?”

“Apparently.” Eleanor could hear the smile in Joshua's voice, could imagine it on his handsome face. A real, open, warm grin that made his beautiful eyes dance. “I tried to explain the rules to this woman, but she wasn't listening. Finally I told her she won't be entitled to a card until she actually takes up residence in our community. She didn't think that was very amusing.”

“Impressive. Are you always so tough?”

“Oh, I'm a real people person,” she retorted lightly. Eleanor reached for the tall glass of lemonade she had fixed earlier and took a sip. “I saw the article in the
Times
this morning about Mr. Weston being indicted by a federal grand jury. Is everything all right?”

“I've got it all under control,” Joshua replied firmly. “I was aware ahead of time that this was coming. The firm will have limited liability in the case and hopefully limited publicity.”

“I'm glad,” Eleanor whispered. And she was. No matter what her jumbled feelings toward Joshua were, she had never truly wished him or the company any harm.

“Okay, enough about that. What are you wearing?”

“Joshua!” Eleanor laughed into the phone, marveling at how easily he could surprise her. Still, the erotic timbre of his voice made his question seem wickedly forbidden.

“Come on, throw me a crumb, Eleanor. What are you wearing?”

She glanced down at the oversized T-shirt and baggy shorts she had on. “Support hose, sensible black shoes, a gray dress with a high ruff collar and a hem that hangs below my knees.”