a movie...and a Book (6 page)

25.

Andy on the cell phone, still riding back in his
pickup truck.

“Take it easy,” said Andy. “I told you about fifty times it’s all going according to plan.”

He listened for a moment to the receiver. “Yeah, I know.”

He listened again.

“Look. I’m going to call you tomorrow, and you will see everything is perfectly all right. I mean wh—”

He listened.

“Yes, I know, but just tell me, why shouldn’t everything be all right?”

26.

On the island. A couple of minutes later.

Lou was shivering, sitting on a stone in his underpants.

“We definitely stayed in this cold water too long,” he said.

Liz sat next to him, rubbing his arms. “You poor thing.”

Lou turned and lay stomach-down on the warm stone. Still shivering, he said, “I always was the first to get cold in the water. I don’t know what it is.” After a moment he added, “You didn’t believe me that I sink if I don’t move. Right to the bottom. Did you?”

“It’s natural. Everyone does.”

“No. You didn’t,” he said.

“I did when I exhaled all the air.”

“Yes, but I do even if I have my lungs all filled up,” he said. “I mean, I showed it to you. You have to admit, that’s pretty interesting.”

“I guess all men do,” she said, looking at his underpants.

“No, they don’t. We once tested it in school. I was the only one who went down.”

“Where did you get those underpants?” Liz asked, still looking at them.

“Why?”

“They look old-fashioned.”

“I like them,” Lou said, still shivering on the warm stone.

“Where did you get them?”

“Why?”

“I’m just interested to know . . . Why, is it a big secret or something?”

“It’s not. But you have to admit, they are kind of stylish.”

Liz gave them a critical look, then lightly slapped him on the buttocks.

“Hey, what’s that for?” Lou protested.

Liz giggled and gave them another inspection. “They even have a hole in them.”

“I don’t mind a small hole in my underpants. Especially if they’re my favorite underpants. What kind of an owner of underpants would I be if I just threw them away after all we’ve been through?” he said, and pretended to dwell on good memories.

“Where did you get them, though?” Liz stressed.

“First you have to admit that they’re pretty cool.”

“Okay. They are pretty cool,” she said.

“You didn’t mean it.”

“No, because I think they are old-fashioned.”

“I’m not going to tell you where I got my underpants from if you insult them.”

“You’re crazy,” she said, still looking at the underpants.

Lou didn’t say anything; he just flexed his buttocks.

Liz giggled.

“Don’t you have favorite underpants?” Lou asked.

“I don’t know . . . Where did you get them?”

“From my grandfather. I inherited them.”

Liz laughed, still looking at them. “That’s what they look like,” she said, and pulled them down a little.

“It’s time to go now,” said Lou, rolling his eyes. “It’s impossible to speak with you about underpants.” He got up, giving his underpants a pleased look.

27.

At the Fraziers’ home. Jim arrives home from his
trip to his brother’s.

“How’s Uncle Andy?” asked Pete as Jim came in.

“Fine, as always. You know his energy—his
ideas,
” said Jim.

“What’s wrong with his ideas?” asked Pete.

“Nothing, why?”

“Just the way you said it,” said Pete.

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m just a little tired from the trip, that’s all. How was your day?”

“Just the usual.”

28.

Back on the island.

It was slowly getting dark. Liz and Lou were walking back, following the small river.

“No kidding—did they really once belong to your grandfather?”

“If you mean my underpants, yes. But if you don’t like them, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why don’t you buy new ones?” said Liz.

“I told you—I like them the way they are.”

“Yeah, but you can get the exact same— What’s this?” said Liz, looking to the ground.

Lou turned. “Looks like a saw.”

Liz squatted down, looking at it. Then she looked around; she didn’t see anything but dark forest. “That’s strange. Isn’t it?”

Lou kept looking at the saw, frowning.

“What’s it supposed to mean?” said Liz.

“I don’t know. It’s a saw. And it looks new.”

“Strange. Isn’t it? Does this mean there are people on this island?” said Liz, with a little fear in her voice.

“I don’t know,” said Lou. “It can’t have been here more than a couple of days. It would rust in no time, with the salt in the air.”

“I’m afraid. Let’s go back—it’s getting really dark,” said Liz.

“There must be a logical explanation, though.”

“Yes—there are people around.”

Lou looked at her, then back at the saw. He blinked a couple of times. “Let’s go,” he said. “We’ll go back and take the saw with us.”

They made their way through the dark forest in silence, but it was obvious that they walked unusually fast and close together. All of the sudden the island wasn’t what it had been a minute ago.

29.

If there is a break in the theater, it’s now, and it’s a
short one.

part three

30.

“What?”
he almost shouted into his cell phone.

The next morning: Jim’s walking down a street,
probably on his way to work. The sky is clear blue,
like it is on a nice summer morning.

“They’re building a raft,” repeated Andy. He was sitting on his deck, drinking his outdoor morning coffee.

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know. But it looks like they plan to leave,” said Andy. “Maybe they got scared by the thunderstorm last night.”

“That means trouble! . . . That means trouble. Did they find the saw?”

“Yes.”

“Damn,
I knew it! What should they think if they find a perfectly new saw on—” Jim exhaled some air instead of finishing his sentence. Then he swung his cell phone through the air and shouted, “Moron!” to a passing taxi that had just cut a turn too close.

Andy kept listening to his phone, a little puzzled. He took a sip of his coffee.

“Look,” he said, once he knew he had Jim back on the line, “they probably saw the other island. The one I observe them from. Maybe they think it’s the mainland.”

“What can we do?”

“Worst-case scenario is that they leave and head for that island. Nothing can happen—no harm’s done.”

“Yes, but what can we do? We can’t just pick them up there, can we?”

“No—heck, no.”

“We have to do something,” said Jim, waiting by a Don’t Walk sign.

“Look, let’s observe what they’re doing. Maybe they’re just building the raft for fishing—who knows?”

“I don’t like it, but I guess that’s the only thing we can do now. It was a crazy idea from the beginning.”

“It’s not crazy. I told you—it’s likely to work out, because she just went through some split-up with a good-looking, lazy, boring bastard. Beautiful women need someone who understands their beauty.” Andy stopped for a moment. “Not only their physical beauty. You know what I mean, don’t you?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

“So let’s sleep on it. Nothing’s out of control. I’ll keep an eye on them.”

Jim thought for a moment. “But call me as soon as something happens.”

“Of course I will . . . Oh, I almost forgot—did you see the commercial yet?”

“You mean your new one? . . . No.”

“Check the Discovery Channel—it’s on all the time. It came off better than expected. It’s really great.”

“That’s great for you.”

31.

Jim is on his way home. He’s walking to the subway
station with Arnold.

“What would you do if you got lost on a beautiful island with a beautiful girl?” asked Jim.

“That would be great . . . What would I do, though?” He started to think. “What do you mean, what would I do, Mr. Frazier?” he said, looking up at Jim.

“Just tell me what you would do.”

Arnold started to think again. “Well, I wouldn’t have to do anything, because there the girl’s almost forced to fall in love with me. That would be great,” said Arnold.

“But what if you got scared on the island at night?”

“Hmm. That’s a good question.” He thought for a moment, then said, “I would probably build a fort where I could live.”

“That’s an interesting idea,” said Jim, pressing his lips together. “But what if you had enough wood to build a raft?”

“You can’t just build a raft. You need tools.”

“So if you had the tools?”

“Then I would probably build a raft,” said Arnold, but it seemed he had already forgotten what he would build it for.

Jim realized it was a hopeless case, so they walked in silence for a while.

32.

At the Fraziers’. Evening.

Pete was glued to the TV set.

All of a sudden he stood up and said, “Whoa, that’s awesome.”

He sat down again. “Whoa, that’s really something.” Then, “Mom?”

No answer came.

The door opened and Jim came in.

“Hi, Dad. Did you see the commercial yet? It was just on.”

Jim was looking around, trying to get his bearings.

33.

On the phone. Next morning.

“What?”

“They left the island,” repeated Andy. He almost had to shout over the loud hip-hop music in his car.

“Where are they now?” asked Jim.

“Probably on the way to the other island. I just saw them leave.”

“This thing’s slowly driving me crazy,” said Jim.

“Just think it all through. It’s no big deal,” said Andy.

“
No big deal?
It all started with this crazy saw idea. Your preaching how important it is to have a saw and all,” said Jim. “Beth and the kids are starting to ask questions. They feel that something is wrong with me. How can I act as if everything is all right if it isn’t?”

“Just tell them you’re a little nervous because you’re having trouble with your new book again,” said Andy.

“But it looks good, I told you—for the first time it looks good. Yesterday I really got an agent excited about this new idea. It doesn’t necessarily mean a lot, but she got really excited about the idea. I just have to pull it through without getting sidetracked again this time, that’s all.”

“They don’t need to know that. Just think it through. Just tell them you’re going through a difficult time because you’re having trouble with your book.”

“But I already told them it looks good.”

“So tell Beth and the kids that the agent changed her mind—nowadays everything is unpredictable.”

“I’ll think about it, but we have to do something.”

“Yes, we have to wait and see. They may have just left for the other island and everything is all right.”

“Maybe. Maybe you’re right. Maybe you’re not. I need to think. I guess it’s best if you keep observing them. Just let me know if something happens. I mean, what else can we do?”

34.

Afternoon. Pete walks along a street with two other
kids.

“And then, when it starts to lower the thing, it almost kills you,” said one kid.

“Man, if I had a favorite commercial, this would be it,” said the third kid.

“I can’t believe your uncle made it.”

“He didn’t make it,” said Pete. “He just gave them the idea.”

35.

On the phone. Evening.

“They’re on the other island now?” said Jim into the phone. Sitting at home in an easy chair. “At least that’s good news. What are they doing on the island?”

“It’s hard to tell. They basically just arrived.”

Jim looked around the living room to the open doors. No one seemed to be around, but he kept his voice down and the receiver close. “The one thing we have to be concerned about is that they don’t spot you.”

“That’s no problem,” said Andy. “I know what I’m doing.”

“What makes me a little uneasy is the shark that killed that boy. It wasn’t too far from where they are,” said Jim, switching the channels on the TV set. “Did you hear the news?”

“
Did I hear the news!
You have to be dead or some crazy bastard living in the woods not to hear it,” said Andy. “But there’s nothing to worry about. I mean, they make a big deal over nothing. It’s just a shark frenzy, straight out of
Jaws.
”

“Obviously it killed a boy, though,” said Jim, again looking attentively around.

“Do you know how many boys get killed,
daily,
on their bicycles? They don’t make the news. But a single shark attack—they even broadcast it on CNN.”

“It’s the fascination of beast against mankind. It’s not the same as someone dying on a bicycle.”

“Maybe it isn’t. But maybe it is. Let’s discuss this another time. I really have to get out of here,” said Andy. “Take it easy now—everything will be fine.”

36.

The next morning at the Fraziers’, just before Pete
has to leave for school.

Pete sat on the sofa watching TV. He had a glass of milk in his hand. On the small table in front of him was a bowl of cereal.

Next to him sat Sarah, eating a piece of bread. This time Pete was the one interested in watching TV.

“Hey, Pete, Mom and I are going to the beach today,” said Sarah.

“So what?”

“And my friend Salina is coming along.”

“I see.”

“We’re going to learn to swim.”

“Okay, can I watch TV now?”

Sarah had finished her bread and stood on the sofa now. She started to jump up and down.

“Doiiing. Doiiing. Doiiing.”

Pete didn’t care. He kept watching TV.

But Sarah had another idea. Every time she jumped she said, “I’m going to the beach. I’m going to the beach . . .”

That did the job.

“
Okay! Okay!
I’m trying to watch TV here. Either sit down and shut up or leave me alone.”

Sarah stopped jumping and looked at Pete. “You’re such a moron. You’re just jealous,” she said, then jumped down from the sofa and ran out of the room.