A Mother's Wish (15 page)

If they happened to be outside at the same time, they exchanged smiles and a polite greeting, but nothing more. It seemed, although Robin couldn’t be sure, that Cole spent less time outside than usual. So did she.

“Okay,” Jeff called, running to the end of their yard. “Squat down.”

“I beg your pardon?” Robin shouted indignantly. “I agreed to play catch with you. You didn’t say anything about having to squat!”

“Mom,” Jeff said impatiently, “think about it. If I’m going to be the pitcher, you’ve got to be the catcher, and catchers have to be low to the ground.”

Complaining under her breath, Robin sank to her knees, worried the grass would stain her jeans.

Jeff tossed his arms into the air in frustration. “Not like that!” He said something else that Robin couldn’t quite make out—something about why couldn’t moms be guys.

Reluctantly, Robin assumed the posture he wanted, but she didn’t know how long her knees would hold out. Jeff wound up his arm and let loose with a fastball. Robin closed her eyes, stuck out the mitt and was so shocked when she caught the ball that she toppled backward into the wet grass.

“You all right?” Jeff yelled, racing toward her.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” she shouted back, discounting his concern as she brushed the dampness from the seat of her jeans. She righted herself, assumed the position and waited for the second ball.

Jeff ran back to his mock pitcher’s mound, gripped both hands behind his back and stepped forward. Robin closed her eyes again. Nothing happened. She opened her eyes cautiously, puzzled about the delay. Then she recalled the hand movements she’d seen pitchers make and flexed her fingers a few times.

Jeff straightened, placed his hand on his hip and stared at her. “What was that for?”

“It’s a signal … I think. I’ve seen catchers do it on TV.”

“Mom, leave that kind of stuff to the real ballplayers.
All I want you to do is catch my pitches and throw them back. It might help if you kept your eyes open, too.”

“I’ll try.”

“Thank you.”

Robin suspected she heard a tinge of sarcasm in her son’s voice. She didn’t know what he was getting so riled up about; she was doing her best. It was at times like these that she most longed for Lenny. When her parents had still lived in the area, her dad had stepped in whenever her son needed a father’s guiding hand, but they’d moved to Arizona a couple of years ago. Lenny’s family had been in Texas since before his death. Robin hadn’t seen them since the funeral, although Lenny’s mother faithfully sent Jeff birthday and Christmas gifts.

“You ready?” Jeff asked.

“Ready.” Squinting, Robin stuck out the mitt, prepared to do her best to catch the stupid ball, since it seemed so important to her son. Once more he swung his arms behind him and stepped forward. Then he stood there, poised to throw, for what seemed an eternity. Her knees were beginning to ache.

“Are you going to throw the ball, or are you going to stare at me all night?” she asked after a long moment had passed.

“That does it!” Jeff tossed his mitt to the ground. “You just broke my concentration.”

“Well, for crying out loud, what’s there to concentrate
on?” Robin grimaced, rising awkwardly to her feet. Her legs had started to lose feeling.

“This isn’t working,” Jeff cried, stalking toward her. “Kelly’s only in third grade and she does a better job than you do.”

Robin decided to ignore that comment. She pressed her hand to the small of her back, hoping to ease the ache she’d begun to feel.

“Hello, Robin. Jeff.”

Cole’s voice came at her like a hangman’s noose. She straightened abruptly and winced at the sharp pain shooting through her back.

“Hi, Mr. Camden!” Jeff shouted as though Cole was a conquering hero returned from the war. He dashed across the yard, past Robin and straight to the hedge. “Where have you been all week?”

“I’ve been busy.” He might’ve been talking to Jeff, but his eyes were holding Robin’s. She tried to look away—but she couldn’t.

His eyes told her she was avoiding him.

Hers answered that he’d been avoiding
her.

“I guess you
have
been busy,” Jeff was saying. “I haven’t seen you in days and days and days.” Blackie squeezed through the hedge and Jeff fell to his knees, his arms circling the dog’s neck.

“So how’s the baseball going?” Cole asked.

Jeff sent his mother a disgusted look, then shrugged. “All right, I guess.”

“What position are you playing?”

“Probably outfield. I had a chance to make pitcher, but I can’t seem to get anyone who knows how to catch a ball to practice with me. Kelly tries, but she’s a girl and I hate to say it, but my mother’s worthless.”

“I did my best,” Robin protested.

“She catches with her eyes closed,” Jeff said.

“How about if you toss a few balls at me?” Cole offered.

Jeff blinked as if he thought he’d misunderstood. “You want me to throw you a few pitches? You’re sure?”

“Positive.”

The look on her son’s face defied description as Cole jumped over the hedge. Jeff’s smile stretched from one side of his face to the other as he tore to the opposite end of the yard, unwilling to question Cole’s generosity a second time.

For an awkward moment, Robin stayed where she was, not knowing what to say. She looked up at Cole, her emotions soaring—and tangling like kites in a brisk wind. She was deeply grateful for his offer, but also confused. Thrilled by his presence, but also frightened.

“Mom?” Jeff muttered. “In case you hadn’t noticed, you’re in the way.”

“Are you going to make coffee and invite me in for a chat later?” Cole asked quietly.

Her heart sank. “I have some things that need to be done, and … and … “

“Mom?” Jeff shouted.

“I think it’s time you and I talked,” Cole said, staring straight into her eyes.

“Mom, are you moving or not?”

Robin looked frantically over her shoulder. “Oh … oh, sorry,” she whispered, blushing. She hurried away, then stood on the patio watching as the ball flew across the yard.

After catching a dozen of Jeff’s pitches, Cole got up and walked over to her son. They spoke for several minutes. Reluctantly, Robin decided it was time to go back in.

She busied herself wiping kitchen counters that were already perfectly clean and tried to stop thinking about the beautiful woman she’d seen with Cole on the Wharf.

Jeff stormed into the house. “Mom, would it be okay if Mr. Camden strings up an old tire from the apple tree?”

“I suppose. Why?”

“He said I can use it to practice pitching, and I wouldn’t have to bother you or Kelly.”

“I don’t think I have an old tire.”

“Don’t worry, Mr. Camden has one.” He ran outside again before she could comment.

Jeff was back in the yard with Cole a few minutes later,
far too soon to suit Robin. She forced a weak smile. That other woman was a perfect damsel to his knight in shining armor, she thought wryly. Robin, on the other hand, considered herself more of a court jester.

Her musings were abruptly halted when Cole walked into the kitchen, trailed by her son.

“Isn’t it time for your bath, Jeff?” Cole asked pointedly.

It looked for a minute as though the boy was going to argue. For the first time in recent memory, Robin would’ve welcomed some resistance from him.

“I guess,” he said. Bathing was about as popular as homework.

“I didn’t make any coffee,” Robin said in a small voice. She simply couldn’t look at Cole and not see the beautiful blonde on his arm.

“That’s fine. I’m more interested in talking, anyway,” he said. He walked purposefully to the table and pulled out a chair, then gestured for her to sit down.

Robin didn’t. Instead, she frowned at her watch. “My goodness, will you look at the time?”

“No.” Cole headed toward her, and Robin backed slowly into the counter.

“We’re going talk about that kiss,” Cole warned her.

“Please don’t,” she whispered. “It meant nothing! We’d both had a hectic week. We were tired …. I wasn’t myself.”

Cole’s eyes burned into hers. “Then why did you cry?”

“I … don’t know. Believe me, if I knew I’d tell you, but I don’t. Can’t we just forget it ever happened?”

His shoulders rose in a sigh as he threaded his long fingers through his hair. “That’s exactly what I’ve tried to do all week. Unfortunately it didn’t work.”

“I’
ve put it completely out of my mind,” Robin said, resuming her string of untruths. “I wish you’d do the same.”

“I can’t. Trust me, I’ve tried,” Cole told her softly. He smiled and his sensuous mouth widened as his eyes continued to hold hers. The messages were back. Less than subtle messages.
You can’t fool me,
they said, and
I didn’t want to admit it either.

“I …”

The sense of expectancy was written across his face. For the life of her, Robin couldn’t tear her eyes from him.

She didn’t remember stepping into his arms, but suddenly she was there, encompassed by his warmth, feeling more sheltered and protected than she had since her husband’s death. This comforting sensation spun itself around
her as he wove his fingers into her hair, cradling her head. He hadn’t kissed her yet, but Robin felt the promise of it in every part of her.

Deny it though she might, she knew in her heart how badly she wanted Cole to hold her, to kiss her. He must have read the longing in her eyes, because he lowered his mouth to hers, stopping a fraction of an inch from her parted lips. She could feel warm moist breath, could feel a desire so powerful that she wanted to drown in his kiss.

From a reservoir of strength she didn’t know she possessed, Robin managed to shake her head. “No … please.”

“Yes … please,” he whispered just before his mouth settled firmly over hers.

His kiss was the same as it had been before, only more intense. More potent. Robin felt rocked to the very core of her being. Against her will, she felt herself surrendering to him. She felt herself forgetting to breathe. She felt herself weakening.

His mouth moved to her jaw, dropping small, soft kisses there. She sighed. She couldn’t help it. Cole’s touch was magic. Unable to stop herself, she turned her head, yearning for him to trace a row of kisses on the other side, as well. He complied.

Robin sighed again, her mind filled with dangerous, sensuous thoughts. It felt so good in his arms, so warm and safe … but she knew the feeling was deceptive. She’d seen him with another woman, one far more suited to him
than she could ever be. For days she’d been tormented by the realization that the woman in the restaurant was probably the one he spent his weekends with.

“No, please don’t.” Once more she pleaded, but even to her own ears the words held little conviction.

In response, Cole brought a long slow series of feather-light kisses to her lips, effectively silencing any protest. Robin trembled, breathless.

“Why are you fighting me so hard?” he whispered. His hands framed her face, his thumbs stroking her cheeks. They were damp and she hadn’t even known she was crying.

Suddenly she heard footsteps bounding down the stairs. At the thought of Jeff finding her in Cole’s arms, she abruptly broke away and turned to stare out the darkened window, hoping for a moment to compose herself.

Jeff burst into the room. “Did you kiss her yet?” he demanded. Not waiting for an answer, Jeff ran toward Robin and grabbed her by the hand. “Well, Mom, what do you think?”

“About … what?”

“Mr. Camden kissing you. He did, didn’t he?”

It was on the tip of her tongue to deny the whole thing, but she decided to brazen it out. “You want me to rate him? Like on a scale of one to ten?”

Jeff blinked, uncertain. His questioning glance flew to Cole.

“She was a ten,” Cole said, grinning.

“A … high seven,” Robin returned.

“A high seven!” Jeff cried, casting her a disparaging look. He shook his head and walked over to Cole. “She’s out of practice,” he said confidingly. “Doesn’t know how to rate guys. Give her a little time and she’ll come around.”

“Jeff,” Robin gasped, astounded to be having this kind of discussion with her son, let alone Cole, who was looking all too smug.

“She hardly goes out at all,” Jeff added. “My mom’s got this friend who arranges dates for her, and you wouldn’t believe some of the guys she’s been stuck with. One of them came to the door—”

“Jeff,” Robin said sharply, “that’s enough!”

“But one of us needs to tell him!”

“Mr. Camden was just leaving,” Robin said, glaring at her neighbor, daring him to contradict her.

“I was? Oh, yeah. Your mom was about to walk me to the door, isn’t that right, Robin?”

She gaped at Cole as he reached for her hand and gently led her in the direction of the front door. Meekly she submitted, but not before she saw Jeff give Cole a thumbs-up.

“Now,” Cole said, standing in the entryway, his hands heavy on her shoulders. “I want to know what’s wrong.”

“Wrong? Nothing’s wrong.”

“It’s because of Victoria, isn’t it?”

“Victoria?” she asked, already knowing that had to be the woman with him the day she’d seen him at the restaurant.

“Yes. Victoria. I saw you practically hiding under your table, pretending you didn’t notice me.”

“I … Why should I care?” She hated the way her voice shook.

“Yes, why should you?”

She didn’t answer him. Couldn’t answer him. She told herself it didn’t matter that he was with another woman. Then again, it mattered more than she dared admit.

“Tell me,” he insisted.

Robin lowered her gaze. If only he’d stop holding her, stop touching her. Then she might be able to think clearly. “You looked right together. She was a perfect complement to you. She’s tall and blond and—”

“Cold as an iceberg. Victoria’s a business associate—we had lunch together. Nothing more. I find her as appealing as … as dirty laundry.”

“Please, don’t explain. It’s none of my business who you have lunch with or who you date or where you go every weekend or who you’re with. Really. I shouldn’t have said anything. I don’t know why I did. It was wrong of me—very wrong. I can’t believe we’re even talking about this.”

Jeff poked his head out from the kitchen. “How are things going in here?”

“Good,” Robin said. “I was just telling Cole how much we both appreciated his help with your pitching.”

“I was having real problems until Cole came along,” Jeff confirmed. “Girls are okay for some things, but serious baseball isn’t one of them.”

Robin opened the front door. “Thanks,” she whispered, her eyes avoiding Cole’s, “for everything.”

“Everything?”

She blushed, remembering the kisses they’d shared. But before she could think of a witty reply, Cole brushed his lips across hers.

“Hey, Cole,” Jeff said, hurrying to the front door. “I’ve got a baseball game Thursday night. Can you come?”

“I’d love to,” Cole answered, his eyes holding Robin’s. Then he turned abruptly and strode out the door.

“Jeff, we’re going to be late for the game if we don’t leave now.”

“But Cole isn’t home yet,” Jeff protested. “He said he’d be here.”

“There’s probably a very good explanation,” Robin said calmly, although she was as disappointed as Jeff. “He could be tied up in traffic, or delayed at the office, or any one of a thousand other things. He wouldn’t purposely not come.”

“Do you think he forgot?”

“I’m sure he didn’t. Come on, sweetheart, let’s get a
move on. You’ve got a game to pitch.” The emphasis came on the last word. The first game of the season and Jeff had won the coveted position of first-string pitcher. Whether it was true or not, Jeff believed Cole’s tutoring had given him an advantage over the competition. Jeff hadn’t told him the news yet, keeping it a surprise for today.

“When you do see Cole, don’t say anything, all right?” Jeff pleaded as they headed toward the car. “I want to be the one who tells him.”

“My lips are sealed,” she said, holding up her hand. For good measure, she pantomimed zipping her mouth closed. She slid into the car and started the engine, but glanced in the rearview mirror several times, hoping Cole would somehow miraculously appear.

He didn’t.

The game was scheduled for the baseball diamond in Balboa Park, less than two miles from Robin’s house. A set of bleachers had been arranged around the diamonds, and Robin climbed to the top. It gave her an excellent view of the field—and of the parking area.

Cole knew the game was at Balboa Park, but he didn’t know which diamond and there were several. Depending on how late he was, he could waste valuable time looking for the proper field.

The second inning had just begun when Heather Lawrence joined Robin. Robin smiled at her.

“Hi,” Heather said. “What’s the score?”

“Nothing nothing. It’s the top of the second inning.”

“How’s the neighborhood Randy Johnson doing?”

“Jeff’s doing great. He managed to keep his cool when the first batter got a hit off his second pitch. I think I took it worse than Jeff did.”

Heather grinned and nodded. “It’s the same with me. Kelly played goalie for her soccer team last year, and every time the opposing team scored on her I took it like a bullet to the chest.”

“Where’s Kelly now?”

Heather motioned toward the other side of the field. The eight-year-old was leaning casually against a tall fir tree. “She didn’t want Jeff to know she’d come to watch him. Her game was over a few minutes ago. They lost, but this is her first year and just about everyone else’s, too. The game was more a comedy of errors than anything.”

Robin laughed. It was thoughtful of Heather to stop by and see how Jeff’s team was doing.

Heather laced her fingers over her knees. “Jeff’s been talking quite a bit about Cole Camden.” She made the statement sound more like a question and kept her gaze focused on the playing field.

“Oh?” Robin wasn’t sure how to answer. “Cole was kind enough to give Jeff a few pointers about pitching techniques.”

“Speaking of pitching techniques, you two certainly seem to be hitting it off.”

Heather was beginning to sound a lot like Angela, who drilled her daily about her relationship with Cole, offering advice and unsolicited suggestions.

“I can’t tell you how surprised I am at the changes I’ve seen in Cole since you two moved in. Kelly’s been wanting to play in that fort from the moment she heard about it, but it’s only since Jeff came here that she was even allowed in Cole’s yard.”

“He’s been good for Jeff,” Robin said, training her eyes on the game. Cole’s relationship with her son forced Robin to examine his motives. He’d lost a son, and there was bound to be a gaping hole in his heart. At first he hadn’t allowed Jeff in his yard or approved of Blackie and Jeff’s becoming friends. But without anything ever being said, all that had fallen to the wayside. Jeff played in Cole’s yard almost every day, and with their neighbor’s blessing. Jeff now had free access to the fort and often brought other neighborhood kids along. Apparently Cole had given permission. Did he consider Jeff a sort of substitute son? Robin shook off the thought.

“Jeff talks about Cole constantly,” Heather said. “In fact, he told me this morning that Cole was coming to see him pitch. What happened? Did he get hung up at the office?”

“I don’t know. He must’ve been delayed, but—”

“There he is! Over there.” Heather broke in excitedly. “You know, in the two years we’ve lived on Orchard
Street, I can only recall talking to Cole a few times. He was always so standoffish. Except when we were both doing yard work, I never saw him, and if we did happen to meet we said hello and that was about it. The other day we bumped into each other at the grocery store and he actually smiled at me. I was stunned. I swear that’s the first time I’ve seen that man smile. I honestly think you and Jeff are responsible for the change in him.”

“And I think you’re crediting me with more than my due,” Robin said, craning her head to look for Cole.

“No, I’m not,” Heather argued. “You can’t see the difference in him because you’re new to the neighborhood, but everyone who’s known him for any length of time will tell you he’s like a different person.”

Jeff was sitting on the bench while his team was up at bat. Suddenly he leapt to his feet and waved energetically, as though he was flagging down a rescue vehicle. His face broke into a wide, eager smile. His coach must have said something to him because Jeff nodded and took off running toward the parking area.

Robin’s gaze followed her son. Cole had indeed arrived. The tension eased out of her in a single breath. She hadn’t realized how edgy she’d been. In her heart she knew Cole would never purposely disappoint Jeff, but her son’s anxiety had been as acute as her own.

“Listen,” Heather said, standing, “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Thanks for stopping by.”

“Glad to.” Heather climbed down the bleachers. She paused when she got to the ground and wiggled her eyebrows expressively, then laughed merrily at Robin’s frown.

Heather must have passed Cole on her way out, but Robin lost sight of them as Jeff raced on to the pitcher’s mound for the bottom of the second inning. Even from this distance Robin could see that his eyes were full of happy excitement. He discreetly shot her a look and Robin made a V-for-victory sign, smiling broadly.

Cole vaulted up the bleachers and sat down beside her. “Sorry I’m late. I was trapped in a meeting, and by the time I could get out to phone you I knew you’d already left for the field. I would’ve called your cell,” he added, “but I didn’t have the number.”

“Jeff and I figured it had to be something like that.”

“So he’s pitching!” Cole’s voice rang with pride.

“He claims it’s all thanks to you.”

“I’ll let him believe that,” Cole said, grinning, “but he’s a natural athlete. All I did was teach him a little discipline and give him a means of practicing on his own.”

“Well, according to Jeff you taught him everything he knows.”

He shook his head. “I’m glad I didn’t miss the whole game.”

“There’ll be others,” she said, but she was grateful he’d come when he had. From the time they’d left the house,
Robin had been tense and guarded. Cole could stand
her
up for any date, but disappointing Jeff was more than she could bear. Rarely had she felt this emotionally unsettled. And all because Cole had been late for a Balboa Park Baseball League game. It frightened her to realize how much Jeff was beginning to depend on him. And not just Jeff, either ….