A Mother's Love (8 page)

              So Quincy put money on Vince’s head. But the day that he went to kill Vince he saw me with him he planned not to do it. But he noticed that I saw him in the black car and didn’t want me to warn Vince so he went ahead with the plan. But later he found out that Aaron was lying. He was so jealous that he sent Q to kill the wrong man. Because of that Q had to kill Aaron. But when he went to tell kill Aaron he found out that Rick was in on it too. Rick was mad at his lover Vince because he was choosing me over him. They had even set shit up with the police that Vince was in the drug game that’s why they had took all of my things.

              “So look lil mama, I’m sorry for the shit. I learned about you and your kids and I am here to help.” He said and gave me a hug.

              I was crying at this point. I didn’t know who Vince was he had been lying to me and could have given me AIDS. I was crying my heart out.

              “Stop crying ma. A real nigga here now,” he said giving me a kiss.

              He started kissing me and I kissed him back. I gave into the temptations that I had felt for Quincy. I was angry with him at first but I was happy that someone actually cared to tell me the truth. I let him push me back on the couch. He explored my body with his soft hands.

              “Damn Q” I moaned.

              “You gone let me take care of you?” He asked between kissed.

              “Yess” I moaned.

              “Good take these clothes off” he ordered.

              I did as I was told. Some would say that I am stupid and some would cheer me on but whatever the case it was my life and I was going to live it like I wanted to.

Back to the present…

              That was the start of our love affair. Quincy had three kids of his own so we had seven kids all together. I was happy I loved his kids. There was Quenton, Quita, and Quincy Jr. They loved me and the kids got along great. Besides the every now and then squabbles between siblings everything was good. I had finally found my soul mate in Quincy. Quincy was in the game but he was getting out.

              He purposed to me in Hawaii now how great is that. A bitch was living well. We had gotten our wedding plans together and we bought a big house. It was something like a mini mansion. Now the big day had arrived. I had just got my hair done and was looking gorgeous.

              The limo came and took me to the church. I call to see where Quincy was and he said he was there getting ready. I was happy since he was taking this serious. He was getting out the game after this.

              I made it to the church and went into my changing room. Zaharra was there already and was dressed. She was my maid of honor and Red and Yellow was my bride’s maid. I got dressed and I headed down the aisle. At the end next to the minister was my man. Our colors were blue and white. My man was looking good he had his dreads braided. He was smiling from ear to ear. I was excited and at the same time scared. What if this wonderful man changed, what if he was lying, but I had to take that chance I took it with everyone else.

              The minister started the ceremony and I cried tears of joy. Q wiped my tears. We said our vows and kissed. We did the old tradition of jumping the broom. Our reception was at a big hall. We had food, food, and liquor, and more food. I was dancing for Q now you know I had to put on a show for him. We had fun; we danced and played wedding games with the family. People won prizes even my Mama showed up. She really like Q she just didn’t like the fact that we had so many kids. But fuck it we could take care of them. I had graduated and was working for the government as a social worker. I absolutely loved it.  I was living the American Dream I had a good family, good man, I had survived the worst and was hoping for the best.

              That was what I had dreamed what I had hoped for. But before I could make it in the church I was shot down. I had an uneasy feeling when I left the salon I knew something wasn’t right. And when I called Q he said that he was on his way to the church also. When I pulled up I seen he had pulled up too. This was not good he was not suppose to see me before the wedding. I called him and told him to go in first. He was laughing and at my window by the limo looking in.
              “Boy go!” I was screaming with the window raised up.

              “I’m trying to see how good you look baby.”

              “You will see when I get in there now go.” I said laughing he was crazy.

              He finally went inside and I waited about ten minutes I really didn’t want to get bad luck. I got out of the car and Rick walked up to me. Now I didn’t know where he came from but he looked a mess. I hadn’t seen him in years and I definitely hadn’t talked to him. Every since the day he stood me up at the McDonalds.

             “Hey Denesha.” He said.

              “Hey Rick long time no see.”

              “Yeah I had to get myself together he said.”

              Shit I don’t know what he call getting his self together but he looked a mess. I think he was on drugs because he kept sniffing his nose and messing with it.

              “Oh okay well nice seeing you.” I started to walk away. He grabbed me.

              “Wrong bitch. This is the wrong day to see me.” And that’s when I noticed the knife.

              “Rick what the fuck is wrong with you? What you gone do with that knife.”

              I felt scared I had never felt so scared in my life. I had four kids by myself I had been a single mother, I had my heart broken, I had been a stripper, I had been in love, I had lived was it really my time to die?

              “You took both my men away from me. That little thug you about to marry killed my Aaron and bitch you took Vince from me. You think I’m about to let yall live happily ever after? Fuck that bitch today is your day to die.”

              And he stabbed me right in my chest. The pain was horrible. I instantly grabbed my chest. I guess my phone must have pocket dialed Q because as I hit the ground and I heard gunshots. Then my man was next to me he knelt down and grabbed my head.

              “D aw shit! Somebody call the fucking ambulance!” he was holding me but my life was flashing before my eyes.

              All I wanted to do was hold my kids and kiss them tonight. I could feel Q’s tears hitting my face. I wanted to reach up to my man and tell him to stop crying that it was okay. He was breaking my heart because I knew this was the last time I was going to see him. I knew Quincy would take care of them. I knew Shane and Lo would take care of their children. Tesha my sister she would step up and be there for them. But my mind was still angry I wouldn’t be able to see my Daphne’s first kiss, her first child, her wedding day. I wouldn’t be able to tell my girls don’t let any man mistreat them, beat them, and never be too trusting. I couldn’t tell my boys how to treat a woman never beat on her, stay away from the drug game, and always remember to take care of your sisters.

              I was fading away and I was bleeding profusely. I could hear Q screaming my name. I wanted to tell him it was alright I had lived. I had found my real love and he gave me joy. I wanted him to know I loved him. But all I kept thinking was why me? As soon as I got happy as soon as I started living life it had to be taken away. I wanted to feel peace but my mind was restless and I was angry. So with my last breath I said what I had been thinking, “This some bullshit.”

Part Two: Denesha’s Kids

Chapter Twelve

My heartfelt heavy I could tell that something was wrong. As I sat in the park I could feel my body raising. I hated when this happened I would be content with where I was and my body would be sent flying across the earth. I couldn’t control it, every since I had been killed eight years ago my body just went wherever it had to be. It was messed up because the only place I wanted to be was with my kids and my man. But here I was floating through the air and landing somewhere else.

              As I soared through the air it was fresh, and crisp. It was sunny as I landed in front of a house that was abandoned. There was no grass on the lawn and the windows were covered with wood. There was a smell of piss in the air. I could hear laughter coming from the house. I went to the door and walked through it.

              I saw two young men sitting at a table covered with drugs. It was white so I figured it was cocaine.

“Yeah nigga we about to come up now,” the light skinned guy said. He was about 5’6 and chubby.

“Hell yeah that nigga Berto bout to start giving us so much weight we about to flood the city.”

The other boy said. I could feel a familiarity with him. He was cute. He was brown skinned with dreads. He had a smile that would brighten up anyone’s day. He was muscular built and he had a diamond in his ear.

“That’s right Mar come the end of the month we gone be twenty thousand dollars richer.”

Wait… did he just say Mar. I stepped closer to the young boy with the dreadlocks. Oh my that was him. That was my little Shamar. Oh how he had grown and he was handsome. And was that a tattoo. It was my name with a broken heart. Aw I had broken my baby’s heart. I started tearing up. As I sat there and looked at my baby boy my heart broke. He was selling drugs, where the hell was Shane ass at he was suppose to be raising this boy and raising him right.

              As I got lost in my thoughts I felt my body start to float again. It floated into a house where a girl was looking in the mirror at herself. She was listening to some Lil Wayne as she did her makeup. She was real pretty. She was high yellow with big pretty Angelina Jolie lips. Her hair was done in some micro braids. She had some eyelashes that I had to admit were fly. The girl dropped the towel and bobbed her head to the music. She started putting on lotion on her body. The fragrance was immaculate. I looked around the room. The girl definitely had it going on with her clothes and shoe game. I looked at the pictures that the girl had in her room. It was the girl with different guys posing at different clubs. Then I saw a picture of me.

It was a picture that I took at the car show years ago. Quincy was kissing my cheek I remember it like it was yesterday. I missed Quincy but who was this girl and how did she get my picture?

“Violet turn that music down!” she heard a woman scream.

Oh my I thought as I walked back to the girl who mumbling but turning her music down. I now noticed the tattoo on the girl’s right shoulder. It was a heart just like Shamar’s broken with my name in it. I looked at the girl and couldn’t help but stare. She was in her panties and bra. I looked at Violet in amazement. She was beautiful and she had curves just like me but she favored her father Vince a lot and was high yella just like him.

              As I thought about my old love Vincent my body started to levitate and float out of the house through the air and back onto the street. I was placed outside of a house with clothes thrown outside. You could hear yelling and then the door opened. It was a brown skinned girl with bad skin kicking a guy out.
 

“Nigga get your shit I ain’t putting up with it no more!” she threw his clothes at him.

“Bitch fuck you you ain’t shit no way.” He said as he gathered up his clothes.

  I didn’t even have to think twice about it, I knew I was getting a chance to see my kids. This must be Shane Jr. He looked just like his Daddy at this age too. The low haircut, the brown skin, and the gorgeous smile, it was definitely Jr. I watched in disgust as my son gathered his clothes off the street and hop in a brand new Lexus. Dumb ass boy I thought. What the hell was he doing getting kicked out of his house?

              My body started to float and I knew that she was going to see my eldest child Daphne. I was shocked at what I came across. There was Daphne and she was definitely gorgeous. Her chocolate skin shined even in the dark room. Her beautiful hair was cut short in a natural style. This girl was beautiful. She stood and I saw the tattoo with my name and the broken heart. I saw that all of my kids must have been around each other they all had the same tattoo. Well except Jr. his things were getting thrown around so much I didn’t notice it. Shamar had the tattoo on his neck, Violet’s was on her shoulder, and Daphne had hers on her arm.

              Daphne was sitting in the room crying her little heart out. What had happened? Then she saw the picture she was holding. It was Denesha and Daphne when she was a baby. They were at the shelter.

“I miss you Mommy.”

She said as she kissed the pictures and tears rolled down her eyes. I felt my daughter’s pain and I couldn’t help but wanna wrap my arms around my eldest child. I started to cry too. I cried for my children who bad a broken heart from the lost of their mother. It broke my heart to know that that is what they thought about when they thought of me that I had broken their hearts. They were without a mother. The spirit of me shook with sorrow as tears ran down my transparent face.  I cried for the motherless children, my motherless children.