A Moment in Time (41 page)

      
"There?"
 
His eyes glittered with a feral light.
 

      
She glanced downward, noticing his erection immediately.
 
It was impossible to miss.
 
"I wonder if you got sunburned...
there
."
 
That's right.
 
Keep changing the subject, Clarke.

      
He glanced down, then shot her a wicked grin that made her bones melt.
 
"Hmm.
 
Maybe we ought to test it and make sure."

      
"Like I said, you're insatiable."
 
She pulled on her undies and tied them at the waist, then donned her dress.
 
"And it's one of the things I like best about you, of course."
 

      
Keep 'em laughing, Clarke.
 
She knew what she had to do, and no matter how much it hurt, she couldn't let him talk her out of it.

      
Sure, he'd asked her to go with him to Oregon, but it was what he
hadn't
said that hurt.
 
Why
did he want her to go?
 
In what capacity?
 
As Todd's teacher and Cole's mistress?

      
Or as his wife?

      
Did he love her as she loved him?

      
No, men like Cole Morrison didn't marry women like Lolita Belle, and for all intents and purposes, that was who and what she was in 1891.
 
She paused while tying her boots.
 
At least, until the real Lolita showed up.
 
If
she showed up...

      
Cole dressed and packed the picnic basket, then shook out and folded their quilt.
 
"I'm glad you talked me out of going to the mine today," he said, flashing her another killer smile.

      
"Yeah, it was
real
tough, too."
 
She laughed when he tossed the blanket aside and spun her in a circle.
 
He lowered his mouth to claim hers and she clung to him, cherishing this last day.

      
That thought made her throat clog with unshed tears, but she resolutely banished any visible tears.
 
The burning and tightening persisted, but she wouldn't cry.
 
Not yet anyway.
 
She had to stay tough and do the right thing.

      
Jackie didn't belong here.
 
Some freak accident had thrown her back in time, and she had to get her butt back to the right century ASAP.
 
Enough of screwing up Cole's life and hers.
 
Life had to go on, as they said.

      
Yeah, right.
 
She cradled his cheek in her palm as they separated, memorizing the way he practically made love to her with his eyes.
 
No man had ever looked at her the way he did, and no man had ever made her completely lose control the way he had.

      
She would miss that.
 
She would miss
him
.

      
Her heart squeezed and she drew a deep breath, reminding herself of Aunt Pearl's insistence that she never show her feelings.
 
Big girls don't cry, Jacqueline Marie.

      
"You are going with us," Cole said, his voice gruff, his body hard and compelling against hers.
 
"Don't deny it, Jackie.
 
I know you want to."

      
It would be so easy to say yes.
 
What if she stayed in Devil's Gulch waiting for the miracle that would return her to her own time and it never came?
 
What if she was stuck here in the nineteenth century for the rest of her life?

      
Shouldn't she be with the man she loved?
 
Would the last few pages of that script have told her what would happen next?
 
Right now, she'd pay any amount of money to have that script in front of her.
 
Or a crystal ball...

      
"I...I'm confused," she said, and that was no lie.
 
"I need some time to think about it."
 
She sighed and met his gaze, dying to tell him she loved him, and to hear him utter those same words in turn.
 
But he wouldn't.
 
She was a notorious saloon singer.
 
Unfit for the roles of wife and mother.

      
And since when did Jackie Clarke give a damn about propriety?

      
She smiled to herself.
 
Since she'd found someone else she cared more about than herself.
 
Two someones.
 
Her reputation had never mattered to her, except in business, of course.
 
But if she went to Oregon with Cole and Todd, there would always be that ugly Lolita thing between them.
 
Right or wrong...

      
"Take time, then," he said.
 
"Think about it."
 
A furrow creased his brow.
 
"I'll need more time to raise the money anyway."

      
Time, time, time.
 
Suddenly realizing what he'd said, she leaned away from him and watched his fluctuating expression.
 
"What is it, Cole?"

      
He shrugged and tried to turn away, but she held him fast.

      
"Cole Morrison, if you expect me to consider your offer, then you have to be honest with me."
 
And tell me in what capacity you want me to go with you to Oregon while you're at it.

      
He shoved his hand through his hair and sighed.
 
"Well, it's just that..."

      
"Cole?"
 
She placed her hand on his arm, felt his muscles bunch beneath her touch.
 
Something was really bothering him.
 
"What is it?"

      
"I'm in a quandary."

      
"You and me both."
 
She smiled, but his brow remained furrowed, his eyes worried.
 
"What is it, Cole?"

      
He held his hands out to his sides in a gesture of helplessness.
 
"I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't."

      
Ditto.
 
"Why?"

      
"Don't take this wrong," he said, "but I never should've gotten involved in this kidnapping business."

      
Had he changed his mind about wanting her to go with him to Oregon already?
 
"Of course not."

      
"The only good thing about it was finding you."
 
His expression softened, his blue eyes devouring her again.

      
Jackie's knees grew weak, but she drew a deep breath and squared her shoulders.
 
"And the gold."

      
He winced.

      
"Color me confused," she said, rubbing his arm.
 
"Enlighten me."

      
"Don't you see, Jackie?"
 
He gripped her upper arms and held her gaze with his.
 
"I have to return the gold Merriweather already paid me."

      
"The
hell
you do."

      
"It would be dishonest for me to keep it," he persisted.
 
"I didn't finish the job."

      
"Whoa, hold on."
 
With a nervous laugh, Jackie turned to look at the waterfall, then faced him again.
 
He wasn't touching her now.
 
Maybe she could think straight for a change.
 
"Let me digest this.
 
You think you have to return the money to Merriweather for the
first
part of your, uh, mission?"

      
"Of course."
 
He shrugged and gave her a sheepish and endearing grin.
 
"I'm keeping you."

      
His words warmed her, but she filed the good feeling aside for later.
 
She was sure she'd need it by the time this mess was finished.
 
"But you delivered me once, as ordered, and he paid you for that part of the job.
 
If you don't deliver me for my opening night, you don't get the extra gold he promised."

      
"Well..."
 
His brow furrowed again.
 
"I guess that's one way to look at it, but it still feels dishonest to me."

      
She knew in that moment that "straight arrow" Cole Morrison wouldn't agree to Goodfellow's counter offer in a million years.
 
Of course not.
 
Why hadn't she realized that when Smith had first pitched it to her?

      
Goodfellow will double Merriweather's offer.
 
I'll be back in two days for your answer.

      
Two days.
 
That meant Smith would be back tomorrow.
 
She either had to turn herself over to Goodfellow, or go public–so to speak–with her true identity before then.

      
Oh, boy.

      
She could play the martyr in a really big way and deliver herself to Goodfellow, then send the gold to Cole, but she knew he wouldn't accept it.
 
Sighing, she tried to concentrate, to think logically.
 
What a joke.
 
Logic and Jackie Clarke!

      
She had to think, and she was running out of time.
 
Time.
 
There it was again–the joke of two centuries.
 

      
But she wasn't laughing.

      
"Tell me something, Cole," she said, her mind mulling over all the gory details.
 
She placed her hand on his arm again and faced him.

      
"What?"

      
"If you give Merriweather back his precious gold, will you forgive yourself for ever getting involved in his schemes?"

      
Cole's jaw flinched several times, then he gave a quick nod.
 
"I haven't spent any of it, so I reckon.
 
Why do you ask?"

      
"Because I want you to forgive yourself, Cole.
 
It's important to me."
 
She paced, rubbing her chin and chewing her lower lip, then stopped to meet his curious gaze again.
 
"
I
forgive you."

      
His Adam's apple traveled the length of his throat and back.
 
"You do?"

      
She nodded and stepped toward him.
 
"I...I care about you and Todd."
 
God, how she wanted to tell him she loved him.
 
"I want you to forgive yourself, and if giving back the money will do that, then do it."

      
He gave a quick nod.
 
"Done."

      
She rested her cheek on his shoulder and slid her arms around his waist, then leaned back to gaze up into his beautiful blue eyes.
 
She had to make sure he followed through with his dreams, no matter what happened to her.
 
"I want you to promise me something else, Cole."
 

      
"What?"
 
He rubbed her back and waist with his strong hands.
 
"What do you want me to promise you, Jackie?"

      
"That you'll go to Oregon."

      
"But–"

      
"No buts."
 
She drew a shaky breath.
 
"No matter what it takes, live your dream, Cole.
 
Yours and Elizabeth's."

      
His eyes darkened and she watched his internal struggle play across his features.
 
Finally, he drew a deep breath.
 
"You're a good woman, Jackie Clarke."

      
She smiled, though her heart was breaking.

      
"Elizabeth's dead, and it's high time I got on with the rest of our lives."

      
"A part of Elizabeth lives on in you and Todd."
 
A strange peace settled over Jackie's heart as she spoke, then she realized why with a start.
 

      
Her mother lived on through Jackie.

      
By letting Aunt Pearl's vindictive nature destroy Jackie's spirit, she'd betrayed her mother.
 
But no more.
 
Regardless of how this adventure ended, she'd never let Aunt Pearl–or anyone–destroy that again.
 
She straightened and met Cole's smoldering gaze with another smile–a real one this time.