A Miracle of Hope (The Amish Wonders Series) (34 page)
Lindie had a knapsack packed and was outside by the time he had Molly harnessed. As they headed for town, neither spoke. He appreciated the silence.
The nurse entered the empty lobby. “If you’ll follow me, we can get started.”
Josiah nodded and he and Lindie trailed the nurse to the scale. He couldn’t imagine that his weight had changed since she took it yesterday. But he removed his boots and stepped on the scale. The nurse recorded the weight without comment. She led him to the examination room, where he climbed on the paper-lined table. Lindie sat in the chair in the corner. The nurse took his blood pressure, pulse, and temperature and documented the results on the clipboard. She asked Josiah a few questions about how he’d tolerated yesterday’s infusion and the amount he vomited. She held the same facial expression as she jotted notes in the chart.
The nurse closed the chart and directed her attention to Lindie. “Are you seeing the doctor today too?”
“Next week is my appointment.”
“You don’t have much longer to go.”
“Three months.” A soft glow radiated from Lindie’s face as she smiled.
“Doctor Ethridge won’t be long.” On her way out, the nurse placed the clipboard in the tray on the door.
“It seems strange to be sitting here and not on the cot.” Lindie folded and unfolded her hands. Finally, she stood and motioned to the cup dispenser on the wall. “Can I get you some water?”
“Sure.” He agreed more to give her something to do than because he was thirsty.
She filled a small paper cup from the sink and handed it to him.
“Denki.”
He took a small sip, leery of having too much in his stomach.
“Do you want more?”
“I haven’t finished this.” He tipped the cup so she could see how much remained. He drank the rest as Doctor Ethridge entered the room. Josiah crushed the paper cup in his hand and passed it to Lindie, who tossed it into the trash before sitting down.
“Are you feeling up for another round?” the doctor asked.
“I suppose so.”
Doctor Ethridge listened to Josiah’s heart and then went through a list of questions ranging from what type of side effects Josiah had experienced to what color his urine was and how many bowel movements he’d had. After making a few notes, he set the clipboard on the counter. “Normally I don’t mind if a family member sits in the room during the administration.” He turned to Lindie. “But because you’re pregnant, I’m going to ask that you wait in the lobby during the infusion.”
Lindie nodded.
The look she gave Josiah tugged at his heart. He wanted to pull her into his arms and reassure her everything was fine. Instead, he winked, and enjoyed the brief satisfaction of making her smile.
Lindie sat in the chair next to the lamp table. Finding out about Josiah’s illness left her with so many unanswered questions. How long could someone in his condition live without a bone marrow transplant? Would he go into remission with just chemotherapy? She should have brought a pad to write a letter to Margaret. She wanted to ask Eli if he knew that Josiah had once had cancer.
A half hour later Doctor Ethridge crossed the lobby.
She stood. “Is he done?”
“No, it’s going to be another hour or two yet.” He motioned to the chair, then sat down on the one beside her. “Josiah is tolerating the infusion.”
She blew out a breath. “You had me worried.”
“I thought you might be.” He patted Lindie’s hand. “How are you feeling?”
“The baby kicks a lot during the night. I don’t get much sleep, but I’m fine.” She leaned forward. “Tell me about Josiah. Will this medicine that he’s getting work?”
He looked at his folded hands. “It’s a long shot,” he said without lifting his head. “He needs a bone marrow transplant.” He paused as though allowing her time to take it all in. “I’m sorry to say we haven’t found a donor match.”
“I haven’t been tested.”
“Even if you were a perfect match, I would not advise it while you’re pregnant. It’s a complex procedure. The marrow is taken from the hip area. It’s not a good idea. I’m sorry.”
Her shoulders slumped and she fell back against the chair. This pregnancy had a way of altering her life—again. First Moses’s rejection, now the possible loss of the man she loved. “Please.” She inched forward in the seat. “I have to do something to help him.”
“We’re doing everything possible. Even if he went to a cancer center, they couldn’t do more without a donor. The regimen I’ve prescribed is aggressive,” he said. “Josiah understood and agreed to the risks.” He stood. “I need to check on how the infusion is going.”
Lindie rushed to his side. “Couldn’t I at least be tested?”
He stopped. “What if you’re a match? Would you want me to induce labor so you deliver early?” He shook his head. “That would jeopardize the health of the baby. I won’t do that. It’s one thing for Josiah to take risks—it’s his life—but I won’t agree to risk the life of an unborn child.”
“I might naturally deliver early. You said so yourself a few months ago.”
“That isn’t so much an issue now that you’re gaining weight.” He smiled. “But I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to do the blood test. If you are a match—
and
the baby arrives early . . .”
“Can we do it now?”
He nodded. “I’ll tell my nurse.” His gray eyebrows formed a straight line. “There’s still a risk that you won’t be strong enough after giving birth. I’m not the one who will perform the bone marrow procedure, so you’ll have to pass another doctor’s specifications. There is no guarantee.”
“I understand. But I believe in miracles. All things are possible.”
Doctor Ethridge nodded. “Keep that hope alive.”
Even as she nodded, doubt seeped in.
God’s ways are not our ways. His thoughts are not like ours
. . .
J
osiah’s condition deteriorated rapidly after he received the second infusion. Other than reheating the meals brought over by the womenfolk, Lindie hadn’t left his bedside in three days. Between Ada and Rebecca, Hannah was well cared for. Lindie was grateful for their help. Neither she nor Josiah wanted Hannah to see how sick he’d become.
She lifted the soup spoon to Josiah’s mouth and cupped her other hand under his chin. “Take a sip. You need your strength.”
He opened his mouth wide enough for the spoon and accepted the broth. His eyes closed.
Don’t stop
. A few sips weren’t much, but a start nonetheless. Doctor Ethridge had said the medication might suppress Josiah’s appetite. She never thought it would vanish altogether.
“Will you try and eat more?” She readied another spoonful, but his eyes remained closed and his mumbling wasn’t comprehensible. Lindie lowered the spoon and set it and the bowl on the table. She knelt at the side of the bed, rested her forehead against the mattress, and closed her eyes.
“Father, please, I don’t want to see him suffer. He’s a
gut
husband.” Her plea turned whiny. “Don’t take him from me. Please.”
Josiah reached down and placed his hand on the side of her face.
She clasped his hand and pressed it tighter against her cheek. “Father, give him strength to fight.”
“I won’t give up.”
Hope soared within her. “I’m holding you to that.”
The corners of his lips creased upward a moment, then his eyes closed and his mouth returned to its neutral position.
“I love you, Josiah,” she said, rising up from her knees.
His lips moved a little, but nothing audible came out.
A few days later Josiah felt well enough to sit up in bed. He ran his hand through his hair and a clump of hair fell out. “It won’t be long before I’m bald. You think
mei
hat will still fit?”
Lindie took the chunk from him. “If it doesn’t, I’ll knit you a cap to wear under it.” She tossed it into a trash can beside the dresser. “Are you hungry?” She and Hannah had eaten earlier, but she’d saved him a plate to reheat.
“Nay.”
Five days he had spent in bed, lacking the energy to even swallow soup. He was wasting away. His shadowed eyes were sunken and so were his cheeks. She sat on the edge of the bed and reached for his hand. “Won’t you at least try to eat something?”
He shook his head. “Maybe later. I’m
nett
hungry.”
“You said that earlier.”
He cracked a smile and her heart warmed. She had sorely
missed his company over the past few days. Now that he was more alert, she wanted to share his every waking minute.
Lindie wished her doctor’s appointment wasn’t today. Yet she’d held a glimmer of hope all week that she would hear news about the blood tests. Deep in her heart she was sure she was Josiah’s donor match. Why else would God have put them together?
“Rebecca will be here soon. She’s going to watch Hannah while I go into town for
mei
checkup.” She hadn’t told him about Simon’s bus arriving today. He might insist on meeting him at the station.
The bell over the door jingled. “I better make sure that wasn’t Hannah leaving.” She crossed the room and stepped into the hallway. Hannah’s door was open and she was busy drawing on her sketch pad and didn’t look up. Lindie continued down the hall.
“I let myself in when no one answered,” Rebecca said, shaking her arm out from her cape. “How is Josiah?”
“Better if I could get him to eat.” She motioned toward the kitchen. “I have a pan of meatloaf in the oven. I don’t know if he’ll eat, but even if he only takes a bite or two it’s better than nothing.”
Rebecca followed Lindie into the kitchen. “And Hannah, how is she?”
“She knows he’s sick, but she’s not aware of the severity.” Lindie opened the oven door and removed the pan of meatloaf. “I’ve waited for Josiah to say something, but he’s been so sick that he hasn’t wanted Hannah to see him.”
“I’ll pray God gives you and Josiah wisdom concerning Hannah. I know sometimes it’s difficult for you to communicate with her, but God will open those doors too.”
“Hannah and I are making progress. God has been
gut
about that.” She sliced the meatloaf and placed it on a plate. “Pray that I’m a donor match. I should find out something today.”
“Is it possible to donate while you’re pregnant?”
“If the
boppli
arrives early.” Lindie sighed. “I could use any suggestions you have for early delivery. I thought about spicy food, but maybe there is a tea I could drink?” She grabbed a fork from the drawer and a clean dish towel for him to use as a napkin. “I’ll be back in a minute.” Lindie carried the dish into the bedroom and set it on the bedside table. “Josiah,” she whispered, “your plate is on the stand.” His eyes remained closed. “I’m leaving
nau
for town. I won’t be long.” Lately it seemed she talked more to the wind than to him, he drifted in and out so much. She started to turn away and he grasped her arm.
“Be careful,” he said.
“I will.” She leaned down and kissed his forehead. “You eat something. Your plate is on the nightstand.”
“Is it snowing?”
“It is, but
nett
hard.” It had snowed some all week, six inches yesterday.
“You should ask someone to drive you to town.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be careful.” Had he forgotten she grew up in Ohio? She’d driven in the snow plenty of times. Besides, on the way home for her appointment, she planned on picking up Simon. He could drive if the road conditions worsened.
He licked his cracked lips. “I should be the one to take you.”
“You concentrate on eating and getting stronger.” She squeezed his hand. “I’ll see you when I get back. Hopefully I’ll have
gut
news to share.” Lindie opened the door and paused before leaving. “Make sure you eat.”
She stopped at Hannah’s room long enough to tell her to
be mindful of Rebecca, then instructed Rebecca to watch that Hannah didn’t leave the house unattended. Lindie checked the wall clock. She would have to hurry.
Driving to town, joyfulness bubbled within Lindie. She practically bounced on the seat, certain she would hear the doctor say she was a match. Lindie understood now why God had allowed the vile attack. The past events, though painful, had a higher purpose. She had a husband who needed her bone marrow. Surely God had all of this planned. He provided a fine husband, a daughter who needed motherly guidance, and a soon-to-be-born baby. God provided a family to love. And God would use her bone marrow to save Josiah’s life. Choked up with tears of joy, she peered up at the clear blue sky and praised the Lord.
