A Miracle of Hope (The Amish Wonders Series) (19 page)

Josiah shoveled the wet straw from the stall floor and tossed it into the wheelbarrow. He wished Hannah had paid attention and not overfilled the trough. He didn’t want to dwell on his daughter’s shortcomings. She was in tears when he’d found her trying to turn the water off.

The shovel scraped the cement slab as he loaded the last
of the soggy straw. He climbed out of the fenced enclosure and grabbed the pitchfork leaning against the wall. Once he had the new bedding spread over the floor, he called the calves, then fed and watered the rest of the livestock.

He debated if he should talk with Simon before he went back to the house, but decided he would wait until tomorrow. Simon didn’t take the news well about cutting trees again and Josiah understood why. The decision hadn’t been easy to make. He still had nightmares about Caroline crushed under the tree.

He trotted back to the house. He wouldn’t be surprised if it snowed another foot by morning. The tracks he’d made earlier, walking out to the barn, had already disappeared under snow cover.

Josiah stomped his boots on the porch before entering the house. He peeked in the kitchen, then, not finding anyone, continued down the hall, following the dim lantern light that glowed from the bathroom doorway.

But it wasn’t Hannah soaking in the tub.

He caught himself before a gasp escaped. Stunned by the sight of her back, he froze. Red spiral tresses touched her shoulders. He shifted his weight and the board under his foot creaked.

Lindie shot a glance over her shoulder. Her eyes connected with his and widened. “Josiah!” Water splashed over the side of the tub as she scrambled to cover herself.

If he had a shred of decency, he would turn away and give her some privacy. But she’d drawn her knees to her chest and had wrapped her arms around her legs. She was covered.

“How long have you been standing there?”

He leaned against the door frame. “You left the door open.”

“To get heat from the woodstove!”

Now probably wasn’t the right time to talk about how emaciated
she looked. He would deworm her if she were a horse. Every bone protruded: the shoulder blades, the individual vertebrae of her spine, even her ribs had no meat on them. Malnourished.

She looked over her shoulder at him again and cringed. “Please don’t tell me you plan to stand there all
nacht
.”

He still couldn’t get over how well her dress had disguised her skinniness. It wasn’t likely that she could carry a baby to term.

“Josiah,” she growled through clenched teeth. She rested her cheek against her bent knees and squeezed her eyes closed.

“Ah . . .” What was he doing gawking at her? She was naked. He pushed off the door frame. “Do you want this door open or closed?” His words ran together.

“You have to ask?”

No sense reminding her that she’d left the door open to get heat from the woodstove. He chuckled, trying to lighten the situation, but it came out sounding as if something was stuck in his throat. Lindie probably wished he’d swallowed his barn boot.

Chapter Fourteen

L
ast evening’s humiliation in the bathtub burned in Lindie’s mind the moment she awoke. She snuggled deeper into the bed. Her mind reeled with how to avoid Josiah across the breakfast table. There wasn’t a way.

She flung back the covers and crawled out of bed. She scanned the dresses in her closet and selected the gray one. It seemed appropriate considering how gloomy she anticipated this day would be. She pulled on the dress and fastened it closed with straight pins. Adjusting her black apron as she left her room, she bumped into Josiah in the hallway. Her line of vision shot up from his chest, but he kept his eyes on the floor.

“I, ah . . . I thought you would be out in the barn,” she finally sputtered.

“I’m heading there
nau
,” he said, not lifting his gaze.

Good. He had the decency to be embarrassed over last night. Despite the tension she had anticipated, her stomach was calm. Probably the first morning since she’d found out about the pregnancy. Perhaps her body had stopped waging war against itself.

“I better get breakfast started.” She pointed to the kitchen but
dropped her arm. This was his house; she didn’t have to explain where the kitchen was.

“
Jah
, I have stuff to do in the barn.” He took a step and stopped. “Did you see the letter that came for you yesterday?”

Lindie smiled. “It was from Margaret. Eli sends his hello.”

“Tell them I said hello the next time you write.”

She nodded, then padded to the kitchen, the hardwood floors chilly against her feet even wearing wool stockings. Looking out the frosted window, Lindie spotted Josiah trudging across the snow-covered path. She rubbed her hands over her arms and shivered. No wonder the house seemed drafty. Multiple inches of snow had fallen during the night. The morning-pink glow reflecting off the snowcapped barn roof was breathtaking. So were the icicles that dangled from the porch roof. Days like today made her wish she were a child again and could spend a lazy afternoon after the chores were completed traipsing through the snowdrifts.

Lindie sighed.

She was a grown woman now with responsibilities, and breakfast wouldn’t cook itself. Maybe after they ate, she could take Hannah outside and the two of them could play in the snow.

Margaret had said they were having a mild winter so far. Her sister-in-law said she’d been busy baking for Christmas. Lindie hoped to do the same. But she wasn’t sure what staples Josiah had in the pantry for doing the amount of baking she and Margaret used to do.

Lindie opened the pantry and scanned the contents. So many jars of jam. Why? Lindie pulled the mason jars off the shelves and set them on the table. According to the labels, Ellen specialized in jam. Blackberry, strawberry, raspberry, even blueberry. What did the woman do with her time—just pick berries?

Lindie lifted a jar of strawberry-rhubarb jam and squinted at the date. More than two years ago. The date of the jam wasn’t important, she merely wanted to see how long Ellen had been supplying his pantry.

Hannah entered the room, poked Lindie’s back to get her attention, then closed her hand into the form of a
C
and moved it down the middle of her chest.

Thirsty? Hungry? Lindie forgot what the book said the gesture meant. Whichever it was, she needed to adjust her priorities and make breakfast. Inventorying the pantry could wait. She smiled at Hannah and pointed to the chair. “Sit and I’ll make you something to eat.”

Hannah crinkled her nose and repeated her hand movements. This time she emphasized the motion by touching her chest.

It had to mean hungry. Lindie pushed the jars to one side and pulled the chair out from the table. “Sit,” she said, tapping the seat.

She sliced a few potatoes thinner than normal so they would cook faster and tossed them in a fry pan. She’d washed the eggs earlier and had the coffee kettle heating on the stove.

Hannah sat perched on the chair, eyeing Lindie as she worked. The girl needed something to do.

Lindie motioned for Hannah to come to the counter. She handed the girl a bowl and a long-handled wooden spoon, then added the ingredients. “Stir them together.” She made a stirring gesture. Hannah mixed the concoction as Lindie checked out the window for Josiah and Simon. Like clockwork, they were plodding toward the house. Lindie hurried to butter the pan, and at the same time, the men clambered into the house. More concerned about Simon’s reaction than Josiah’s that the meal wasn’t ready, she motioned for Hannah to stir faster.

Josiah stepped into the kitchen. He scanned the table. “What’s all this?”

“The pantry,” Lindie said, flipping the potatoes in the pan. “I’ll put it back after breakfast.”

Josiah shifted his attention to Hannah and smiled. “I see you have a helper today.”

Lindie eyed her young assistant. Flour powdered Hannah’s nose, but she smiled, apparently pleased with her duty. “The pancakes might take a few minutes yet,” Lindie told Josiah.

He winked at his daughter. “I don’t want to rush the cook. Take your time.”

Lindie wasn’t so sure Simon shared the same sentiment. He stood beside Josiah, running his hand down the length of his beard. She set the spatula aside. The kettle was hot, so she could at least pour them some coffee while they waited.

It wasn’t long before they had the meal prepared. Hannah beamed ear to ear over the golden fried cakes.

Lindie felt like she had finally done something right. Until she set her fork down and noticed Josiah’s raised brows. She ignored his subtle hint about the uneaten food and sipped her coffee.

Simon pushed his chair back and stood, holding on to the corner of the table for support. “I’m going to start on the pallets.”

Josiah stood to assist Simon. “Would you mind if Hannah tags along for a little while?”

“That’s fine with me.”

Josiah signed something, and based on Hannah’s smile, he must have told her how much he liked the meal. But by the end of the message, her smile had faded.

Lindie’s heart tugged. Why was he sending the child away? She was hoping they could play in the snow after the kitchen was cleaned.

Hannah rose from her chair and followed Simon from the kitchen.

Josiah pushed Lindie’s plate closer to her. “Eat.” He rested his elbows on the table, planted his chin on his folded hands, and stared at her.

Now it made sense. He must have expected a scene about not eating enough for two. But she felt as stuffed as a Thanksgiving turkey. “I’m
nett
sure I can eat any more.”

“You’re pregnant. You have to eat.”

“Josiah, I’m full.”

He slid his chair away from the table and stood. “I can’t sit by and do nothing anymore. Get ready to go into town. I’m going to hitch the buggy.”

Josiah pulled the buggy up to the porch and jumped out. What was taking her so long? He had work to do when they got back.

Inside the house, he noticed Lindie’s cape still hanging on the hook beside the door. He continued into the kitchen and stopped, spotting her standing at the sink doing the dishes. “I thought you were getting ready.”

“
Jah
, I
redd-up
the kitchen.” She crinkled her brows and looked down at her dress. “Did you want me to change?” The dress she had on wasn’t her Sunday best, but it wasn’t worn thin like some of her others.

“You look fine.” He bobbed his head toward the door. “
Kumm
on. Get your boots and cape on so we can go.”

She rinsed the suds off her hands, then dried them on the dish towel. “I didn’t realize you were in such a hurry.” She tossed the towel on the counter and adjusted her apron on the way to the door.

He trailed her. “Sometimes
Doktah
Ethridge’s office gets really busy. He’s usually
gut
about squeezing new patients in, but—”

“Doktah?”
She spun around and plowed into his chest. “I thought we were going after colored pencils for Hannah.”

“I’m sure we’ll have time for that too.” He placed his hand around her back and guided her toward the door. “If we can get on the road.”

“Really, Josiah, I don’t need to see a
doktah
.”

“
Jah
, you do. You’ve been sick too much.”

“Nay.”
She shook her head. “The queasiness will pass.”

He pulled her cape off the hook and wrapped it around her shoulders. “Maybe so, but I’m still taking you.” He gave her shoulder a nudge, but she’d planted her feet. “Lindie, don’t give me a hard time. You’re losing weight when you should be gaining. Your belly is no bigger today and neither are—”

She gasped and quickly folded her arms across her chest.

“Your ankles. What did you think I meant?”

“Ach!”

“Don’t get yourself into a tizzy.” Maybe he should have refrained from stating his observations so bluntly. Still, Caroline’s belly had swelled early on and continued to balloon until Hannah arrived. He didn’t want to frighten Lindie, but not gaining weight had to indicate something was wrong.

Her eyes narrowed and her face turned crimson. “If you didn’t like what you saw last
nacht
, why did you loiter so long?”

He smiled. “Oh, I liked everything I saw.” Too much. Thoughts of her kept him awake half the night. Wrestling not only with his attraction but with how ghastly underweight she looked for a pregnant woman.

Her eyes widened. “You should have been decent and
nett
looked.”

“Probably.” He leaned closer. “Tell me the next time you want to bathe and I’ll stay out in the barn longer.” He reached around her and opened the door. “
Kumm
on,
mei
bathing beauty. Let’s go into town.”

She mumbled something he couldn’t hear.

When he stepped outside, a blast of wind lifted his hat. He caught it from flying off and pressed it down hard.

Lindie sat on the bench and rubbed her hands over her legs. “What do you think the temperature is?”

“Near zero.” He reached for the quilt behind the bench. “Here, this should help.”

Her teeth chattered as she unfolded the blanket and draped it over her legs. “
Denki
, this is much better.”