A Million Kisses or More (28 page)

Maybe he was too old for her because she made him feel like life was full of possibilities, and he hadn’t felt that way since high school. His eyes drifted to Carrie and he inwardly cringed at her look of misery. Despite everything that had happened, he still cared for her. She had been his first love, his first kiss, his first everything and she had given him Jolie and for that he would always be grateful.

Just as he was about to take a bite of the pumpkin pie with the cheesecake base, there was a roar of anger from Asher. His cousin stood up, a wet stain on the front of his pants. Asher was glaring at Ana while Ana had a grim smile on her lips even as her eyes flashed green fire. The rest of the table was dead silent so Harrison asked, “What happened?”

“She poured her wine on my lap,” Asher bellowed, brushing at his damp pants.

“It was my mother’s wine and I only did it after you tried to grope my thigh,” Ana interjected calmly, not looking at anyone, including Harrison. Color was high on her cheeks and in her fury she looked freaking glorious.

Harrison glanced to the side and saw the shock on Ana’s mom’s face and then a slight smile. When the older woman noticed that he was watching her, she carefully cleared her expression and turned to Ana and murmured, “I raised you better than this.”

Ana’s face fell and her shoulders slumped forward in dejection. But then her mom continued, “If a man makes unwanted advances, break his damn fingers.”

Ana’s head shot up and she stared at her mom in silent gratitude. Despite Ana’s conviction that she took after her nameless father, Harrison once again saw the similarities between mother and daughter, not just the strawberry hair. They had the same lips, the same delicate chin, the same nose. As they continued to stare at one another, conversation slowly began to fill the silence. Asher was still cursing as he stormed down the hall to the bathroom but no one seemed to care.

“That was, however, a waste of expensive wine,” Ana’s mom said, a smile in her voice as she poured some more into the glass and brought it up to her lips.

It was worth it. Hell, Harrison would buy her a bottle just for the memory of seeing Asher get shot down. He waited until Ana looked at him and then he gave her an approving nod, mouthing the words,
Well done
. That made her blush and her smile was all the sweeter for it.

Chapter 12

Sitting in her aunt’s living room with her mother was a surreal experience for Ana. It had been ages since the two of them had spent any time together and it had been even longer since they had been alone together. As her mom swirled her wine in the glass, Ana tried to think of something to say but came up blank. She was exhausted from the dinner and she was still confused as to why her mother was there in the first place. But she couldn’t just blurt out the millions of questions she had.

“I like what you’ve done with this space,” Heather finally said, taking a sip of the wine as she glanced around the room. “It’s very tranquil.”

“Thank you,” Ana murmured, not sure whether or not her mom was being honest or lying to spare her feelings. Either way, she was just going to take it as a compliment and try not to over-analyze it to death. Fidgeting with the tassels on one of the pillows, she chewed on her lower lip and tried to come up with another topic. A part of her wanted to talk about Harrison but the other part thought it would be just too awkward to discuss him with her mother. She ignored the imaginary little girl screaming at the top of her lungs to ask about her father. Clearing her throat, she blurted, “I start my internship in January.”

Her mom started, the wine almost sploshing out of the top of her glass. Giving Ana a tight smile, Heather said, “Yes, I am aware.”

Wishing her mother had said more than that, Ana pursed her lips before she said, “I’m very excited… or at least I was.” At her mother’s questioning look, Ana rushed on, “No, I
am
excited. Really.”

Heather continued to study Ana, her head tilted to the side in that disconcerting way that she studied a room before decorating it. Ana held herself perfectly still and let her mother continue her perusal, wondering what the older woman would see, if she’d see the truth of why she wasn’t as excited as she should be. Heather’s brows drew together as she murmured, “You’re torn because you’re in love with the boy across the street.”

Ana guffawed, “Harrison is no boy, mom. And, yes, I am. In love with him, I mean.”

Her mom caught her lower lip between her teeth, the action so similar to Ana’s that she immediately stopped gnawing on her own lip. After another moment of intense scrutiny, Heather said, “I can repay the scholarship for you if you want out of the contract.”

For a single heartbeat, Ana was going to accept but she abruptly realized that she couldn’t. Shaking her head no, she said, “If I don’t do this, I’ll always have doubts in the back of my head.”

Heather nodded, her eyes still troubled. With a forced chuckle, she said, “You’ve always been so stubborn and independent.”

Ana smiled slightly, “I got it from you.”

“Yes, I suppose you did,” Heather murmured, not happily. “But, honey, even I had a little help when I was just starting out.”

Tilting her head to the side, mirroring her mother’s pose, Ana asked, “Really?”

Heather smiled, a little uncomfortable and embarrassed, “I was nineteen years old and I had a baby. My… sponsor gave me my first break and he has continued to keep tabs on me throughout the years.”

“The eccentric millionaire?” Ana asked, curious to know more about the man that commandeered so much of her mother’s time every summer.

“What?” Heather squeaked, her spine becoming ramrod straight.

“The man whose house you redecorate every summer?” Ana reminded her, doubting her memory after seeing her mother’s surprise.

“Oh, right,” Heather said, smoothing her hand over the front of her skirt, her cheeks rose red. “Yes, him.”

“Who is he?” Ana asked in a hushed voice, leaning forward in her enthusiasm.

“Someone I met when I was eighteen,” Heather answered evasively, not quite meeting Ana’s eyes.

“Did you fall in love with him? Was it a grand, passionate affair?” Ana asked, a teasing grin on her face. “Was he married? Did he break your heart? Did you break his?”

Heather’s eyes widened and the color in her cheeks deepened with each question Ana asked, making Ana even more insanely curious. Setting the wine glass down, her hand trembling ever so slightly, Heather cleared her throat, “Yes to all of your questions.”

Ana’s eyes shot open and she fell back into her chair, staring at her mom in disbelief. As more questions rattled around in her head, Ana’s lips parted as another thought screamed in certainty. Warily, she asked, “Is he my father?”

Slowly, Heather raised her eyes and met Ana’s gaze, nodding her head once. Confusion, anger, and curiosity raged through Ana as she continued to stare at her mom with a gaping mouth. Anger won out and Ana seethed, “You told me you didn’t know who my father was.”

“I said I wasn’t going to tell you who he was,” Heather clarified. “I never said I didn’t know who he was.”

“No,” Ana ground out. “When I was fourteen you told me you slept with so many men that you had no idea who my father was and now you’re telling me that
that
was a lie. Why would you want me to think you were a promiscuous alley cat when you weren’t? Or were you?”

“I wasn’t. I’ve only been with your father and two others,” Heather murmured, wincing at the reminder. But she didn’t say anything else in her defense, which only made Ana angrier.

Knowing she was starting to sound like a petulant child and unable to do anything about it, she said, “Until that moment, I had this fantasy that you and my father were star-crossed lovers but you’re not because he’s still in your life.”

“Ana….”

“Why didn’t you just tell me the truth when I asked?” Ana interrupted, not wanting to hear any more lies.

“Because it hurt too much to talk about him,” Heather said calmly even though her hands were twisting together. “I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to break down and cry in front of you.”

Ana arched an eyebrow, her mother’s words twisting and twirling in her head. Sarcastically, she said, “Well, that makes me feel so much better.”

Her mom held her hand up in the air, her posture defensive as she raised her voice to be heard over Ana’s protests, “Sit back down and I’ll explain.”

Ana hadn’t even realized she had stood up. After pacing in front of the couch a few times, trying to get her anger and hurt under control, she sat back down. “Okay. Explain.”

“I lied because I wanted to protect you.”

“Instead you dragged me around the world and filled my head with fantasies while you redesigned castles,” Ana bit out, her words bitter even though her childhood had been amazing. “Oh, wait, you dumped me at grandma and grandpa’s when I was fourteen!”

“After you asked me if you could go live with them.”

“Because everything you had led me to believe had been a lie,” Ana interjected. Tears welled in her eyes as she added, “But it wasn’t a lie. Instead, you told the lie that you knew would push me away.”

“You kept asking questions and I no longer had any answers.” Heather whispered, her eyes shining with tears she refused to let fall. “When I told you what I did, your… father had just checked himself into rehab yet again and I didn’t know what to do. Leaving you with my parents seemed like it was for the best.”

“But you
left
me with grandma and grandpa,” Ana whispered, her voice hoarse.

“You wanted to stay with them,” Heather said, her voice just as ravaged.

“I wanted you to ask me to stay with you,” Ana returned, wiping at the tears that were running down her face.

“God, I wanted to but how could I when you looked at me like I was a leper? And I couldn’t tell you the truth because you never would have believed me at the time,” Heather tried to explain. “Every day you reminded me more and more of your father and I didn’t handle it well. If I had told you the truth about him, you would have wanted to meet him and I didn’t want that life for you. It was…
is
unstable, destructive.”

Ana blinked her eyes, the tears making her mother’s image waver. She tried to imagine making the same choice as her mother but she couldn’t ever imagine living a life without Harrison in it, especially if she had his child. Yet, wasn’t that exactly what she was going to do, at least for a year? Maybe her mom thought she’d only be gone a short time and in the end, she stayed away…. No, Heather hadn’t stayed away, going back to the man every year and then working like a crazy woman after their time together. Ana had never known; all of this time and her mom had held her secret tight.

In a low voice, Ana rasped, “Who is he?”

Heather shook her head, denying Ana the answer she sought as a single tear slid down her flawless cheek. “He’s the reason I came here for Thanksgiving.”

Ana’s brows drew together, a horrified sickness filling her stomach as her mind leapt to an improbable conclusion. “Please don’t tell me Uncle James is my father.”

Heather’s mouth dropped open as she stared at Ana in horror. Wildly shaking her head no, she blurted, “No, just… God, no. Ew, Ana. He’s my sister’s husband.”

Ana breathed a sigh of relief, her shoulders slumping forward. “Well, thank god for that.”

“No,” Heather said, still shaking her head with that look of horror on her face. “No, your father is in the hospital. He O.D’ed. Again. This time it was really bad and I’m on my way to see him but first I wanted to see you… no, I
needed
to see you. You’re all I have of him, Anavrin, no matter how much time I steal away to be with him.”

“You still love him,” Ana whispered in awe.

“I will always love him,” Heather admitted, her shoulders sagging in defeat. “But it’s not enough. I mean, he loves me with a desperate passion that makes me keep going back for more… he just loves his drugs more. Being with him is like a backwards kind of heaven, Ana, perfect in a fucked up way.”

“Will you tell me who he is?” Ana asked softly, trying to process everything as her heart raced in her chest and her head drowned in questions. Her body felt so heavy and she just wanted to curl up in Harrison’s arms and sleep for a week, or at least until her brain worked everything out. “Please.”

Heather shook her head no but there was a hint of hesitation in the movement. “I’ve wanted to tell you so many times but it’s never been the time.”

“You see him every summer.”

“Yes, and he asks about you every summer,” Heather answered without a trace of guilt.

“I want to meet him,” Ana said in a rush, the need to meet her father, to know who he was, almost overwhelming.

Again, her mother shook her head no. “I told you. He’s in the hospital and I don’t want the first time you meet him to be in such a setting. Maybe when he’s been clean for more than a few weeks we can arrange a visit but that probably won’t be for a while.”

“Why are you telling me all of this now?” Ana asked, her heart breaking a little in her chest for her mother.

“Because you’re going to intern at Madd Talent Agency,” Heather said softly. “He started the company and now he sits on the board of directors, at least he does when he’s not killing himself with drugs.”

Ana stared in disbelief at her mother for a long, long moment, her mouth opening and closing a few times as she tried to put her chaotic thoughts into words. “Is this internship my father’s way of paying for college without my knowledge?”

Heather shook her head no. “No, he simply told me about the opportunity when you were sixteen and I forwarded the information to you. You earned the internship on your own, Anavrin. The committee members that awarded it to you have no idea of your connection between Ma… your father and you. It’s just when you get out there, it might be a little… difficult to keep your secret.”

“Your secret,” Ana said softly, still hurt by her mother’s actions all of those years ago even if she understood and sympathized with her reasons now.