A Midwife Crisis (19 page)

“You’ve done all anyone could do,” she said. “If she’s going to die, there’s nothing now that can be done to stop it. Ed has the right to be with her if that happens.”

John looked at her, nodding silently in agreement. She crossed the room and opened the door. Ed rushed to Elsa’s side and picked up her hand.

He looked at John in anguish. “Is she going to make it?”

“There’s nothing more we can do,” John said, slowly standing. “Now we just have to pray she wakes up.”

John slid his chair to Ed and patted him on the shoulder before walking into the hallway. His knees no longer felt like they were about to buckle, but the memories that had surged through him earlier left a bitter taste in his mouth. He crossed the parlor to the banquette table and dipped a crystal cup into a bowl of punch. He’d never really liked the taste of punch, but Caroline had insisted that no birthday party was complete without it.

Taking a long drink, he turned to examine the now empty room. All the guests had gone home during the emergency, leaving piles of food and bowls of punch untouched.

“Rebecca put Julia to bed,” Katie said, entering the room and crossing to the table. “I’ll put some of this food in the icebox so it won’t spoil.”

He wanted to say something to her, but the words escaped him. This evening was supposed to be her celebration, but instead they’d been thrown into a nightmare. His nightmare, and Katie had been dragged right along with him. She lifted a platter of pastries
and turned toward the door. That was when he noticed the blood.

“Your gown is ruined,” he said.

“It’s nothing. I’ll get the stains out later.”

But he knew those stains wouldn’t come out without a torch. “I’ll buy you a new gown.”

“It’s not important—”

“Doc!”
Ed’s shout interrupted her.

John’s heart fell as he ran out of the parlor and across the hall, praying in earnest for the first time in years. Taking a fortifying breath at the entrance to his office, he paused for a second before pushing open the door and stepping inside.

Ed’s smile knocked the wind out of him. “She’s awake, Doc.”

Elsa turned her head to look at him and gave him the weakest, most pathetic, most beautiful smile he’d seen in a long time. “I heard you’re the one what sewed me up.”

John smiled. “I had a little help.”

“Very little,” Katie said, moving to his side. “Dr. Keffer knew exactly what he was doing.”

Ed lifted Elsa’s hand to his lips, his eyes clouding with tears. “Thanks, Doc. I owe you one.”

Nodding, John chose not to attempt to speak. Ed wasn’t the only one choking on emotion at the moment.

“Can I take her home?”

Clearing his throat, John said, “I think she should probably sleep here tonight. You’re welcome to stay with her. I’ll be upstairs in case you need me.”

John followed Katie out of the office and into the
now silent house. Caroline must have gone on to bed, and all the guests were long gone. Even Harvey was nowhere to be seen. The ticking of the grandfather clock made the only sound echoing in the hallway as they climbed the stairs.

He could see her new boots peeking from beneath her green skirts as she walked in front of him, and it seemed like a million years had passed since he’d given them to her.

Turning to face him at the top of the stairs, she whispered a soft, “Good night,” then headed toward her room.

She had pulled him through his biggest nightmare, but somehow it only made him feel guiltier than ever. How come he had been able to save Ed’s wife when he hadn’t been able to save Lois? Why had he frozen when she had needed him most?

He stood for another million years in the empty hallway, staring at the soft light glowing from beneath Katie’s door. He pushed away his dark thoughts by imagining her removing her gown and getting ready for bed. A knot built low in his gut, threatening to stop his heart. He needed to speak to her once more, to thank her for helping him before retiring for the night.

Closing the distance quickly, he stopped outside Katie’s door, hoping he’d come up with a better excuse for seeing her again than just offering thanks. Katie was no fool. He swallowed and knocked.

“Yes?”

“May I come in? I need to speak with you.”

She hesitated only briefly before saying, “Come in.”

It wasn’t too late to stop. If he just didn’t need her so much he could tell her he’d speak with her in the morning or stay in the hallway. But instead, he opened the door to her tiny room. She sat on her bed, removing her hairpins, a brush lying on her lap. Long brown waves flowing down her shoulders to her waist, a soft smile parting her lips.

He stepped into the room…and closed the door.

Katie didn’t stand when John entered her room. She couldn’t. His gaze riveted her to the bed as he stood staring at her. Neither spoke for the longest time, until finally he broke the silence. “Would you like me to help you with your hair?”

She’d been doing her hair for twenty-five years, but she didn’t tell him that. Instead she nodded and scooted to make room for him on the edge of the bed. He sat beside her and began removing the rest of the pins from her bun. His fingers raked through the tresses, lightly touching the back of her neck as they combed.

“I wanted to thank you for helping me tonight,” he said, his mouth so close she could feel his breath against her cheek. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“You didn’t need me,” she said, trying to sound calm despite the tremble in her voice.

He pulled a curl down her shoulder, allowing his fingers to trace its length over her breast to her waist. “That’s where you’re wrong,” he whispered, closing his eyes.

John felt Katie’s hands cup his face and when he opened his eyes, he knew he was no longer lost. Somehow this mountain healer had found him. She’d closed
his wounds and opened his heart and now she owned his soul.

“Katie?”

“Shhh,” she whispered, before she kissed him, her lips soft and timid as they pressed against his.

Pulling her into his arms, he claimed her kiss and made it his own, fighting down the passion that was building in him like a storm. “Tell me to leave, Katie,” he murmured against her mouth. “This is your last chance.”

But instead of taking her salvation, she untucked his shirt from his pants and ran her hands across the bare skin of his back. “I don’t want you to go,” she said between kisses, and he thanked God in heaven for that. He wasn’t sure he had the willpower to leave even if she’d asked him to.

Then she sat back from him and began unbuttoning her bodice. He watched as she stood, the gown falling to her feet in a green pool, leaving her only in her chemise and the white stockings he’d given her, tied at the thighs with lengths of ribbon. Her hair flowed around her shoulders in a silky mass and he knew now what a goddess must look like.

Damn, he wanted her.

Like an all-consuming fire, he wanted to throw her onto the bed and drive into her until the need in him abated. But she was a virgin, a beautiful, sensual, enticing virgin who was looking at him as if he were the only man in the world.

Damn, he wanted her.

But he had to go slowly.

“I don’t know what to do,” she said, dropping her eyes.

He stood and removed his shirt, surprised when his legs didn’t collapse. Stepping closer to her, he ran his hands down her chemise to her thighs, where the fabric stopped just above her garters. “May I look at you?”

She raised her gaze, nodding hesitantly, like she wasn’t sure if he’d be pleased. Slowly, he lifted the chemise up her body, uncovering inch by inch the beautiful, soft skin of a goddess. She raised her arms to allow him to pull the garment over her head, her hair falling down her back in a curtain of silk.

He knelt in front of her, because that was what a man should do in the presence of a goddess and because his legs weren’t as steady as they had been a few moments before. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her to him and buried his face into the smooth flesh of her belly.

Nibbling, he allowed his hands to stroke the rounded curves of her buttocks. Her fingers threaded through his hair as he kissed his way up her body to her mouth. Tongues dueling, hands exploring, they entwined with each other until falling onto the tiny bed. With a quick twist, he managed to land beneath her, her lithe body on his, her breasts perfect globes against his hard chest.

Katie looked down into the eyes of the man she loved, confused by her lack of fear. She should be terrified. She was about to give herself to a man who was not her husband, not even one of her fiancés, and yet there was no fear. No second thoughts, no doubts, just
a longing and hunger like she’d never experienced before.

And there was the frustration. Deep, building, pulsating frustration that grew with every moment he toyed with her. Slowly he rolled with her on the bed until they faced each other, and his hands began caressing her once more. He fondled her breasts, pulling at the peaks while his tongue stroked hers. Then his mouth broke free and found the breasts his hands had awakened.

But the sensations tingling from her breasts were nothing compared to the shock waves that coursed through her body when his fingers glided between her legs. Gasping, she pinched her thighs together. What was he doing?

He lifted his head from her breasts and kissed her mouth before whispering, “Trust me, Katie.”

And she did. She always had, and she always would. Slipping her hands behind his head, she kissed him and allowed his hands to do their will, trusting he knew what he was doing. Caressing, rubbing, stroking until the frustration built past bearing, and just when she thought she could take no more, he slid a finger inside her body and proved he knew what he was doing after all. The world exploded.

Luckily, he caught her cry with his mouth or she would’ve awakened the entire town. She was vaguely aware of him fumbling with his trousers, just before he rolled on top of her and positioned himself between her legs.

“Katie?” John said, waiting for her to open her eyes and look at him. “Are you ready for me?”

She smiled and nodded.

“It’s going to hurt this first time, but I’ll do what I can to make it easier for you.”

She responded to his concern by placing her hand against his face and pulling him down for a kiss. Slowly he pressed into her until he felt the tight obstruction of her maidenhead.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured into her mouth as he drove through the barrier and froze to give her time to adjust to him.

She gasped, but didn’t cry out as Lois had done. She simply looked up at him and said, “Is it over?”

He laid his forehead against hers, fighting to maintain control. “Not close, but the pain should be leaving. Is it?”

She nodded and adjusted her hips. The movement took his control and threw it out the window. “Are you sure?” he said through gritted teeth.

She answered by kissing him and wrapping her legs around his waist. He needed no other encouragement. He wanted to go slowly, to take her to ecstasy with him, but the tight, hot body encasing him drove all noble intentions from his mind.

He took her as gently as his body would allow, but probably not as gently as he should have. A voice in his mind urged him to go easy, but the overriding desire won out. So he took with no finesse, with no restraints, and with no control until his body poured into hers, and he felt complete for the first time in years.

Carefully, he rolled off her and pulled her into his arms. “Did I hurt you?” he asked, as soon as he could speak again.

“No,” she muttered against his neck, but knowing Katie, she wouldn’t have told him if he’d ripped her in two.

He’d been a cad again. Taking more than he’d given, but he’d make it up to her. Once they were married, he’d worship her as the goddess she was and the next time they made love, there would be no pain, only pleasure. He’d see to it.

Brushing the hair back from her face, he intended to promise her he’d make her a happy bride, but the steady rise and fall of her breasts told him she was sleeping. She’d had a hell of a day and waking her at this point seemed cruel. He slipped from her bed, covering her before shutting off her lamp. He’d propose tomorrow as soon as he could find a moment alone with her. Until then, she deserved her rest.

“John?” Caroline stepped into his office and closed the door. “I need to speak with you. Do you have a minute?”

Not really, but she seemed genuinely distressed and Katie was too busy with breakfast for him to propose just yet, despite his eagerness. So instead of dodging Caroline’s company he said, “Certainly,” then motioned to a chair.

Caroline sat and pulled a handkerchief from her sleeve to dab at her crying eye. “I have something to tell you, and I just don’t know where to start.”

Sighing, John took a seat on the edge of his desk. “Take your time, and tell me what’s bothering you.”

“I’m afraid I’ve deceived you.”

“How?”

She twisted the handkerchief in her hands before raising her eyes to look at him. “I didn’t come to West Virginia just for a visit. I came here because Lois made me promise I would.”

He frowned. “Lois?”

“Yes.” She nodded as though it pained her to admit it. “After Julia was born she made me promise that if anything ever happened to her, you and I would marry and raise Julia together.”

“She never said anything to me.”

“Of course not. That’s not something a woman would tell her husband. But she made me promise again the day before she died. It was almost like she knew her life was about to end.”

“Why did you wait so long to tell me this?”

Pulling the handkerchief to her eyes, she sobbed into the fabric before lowering it to answer his question. “I guess I was afraid. I thought you needed time to mourn, and I wasn’t sure if we’d suit. We weren’t that close before, but now that we’ve spent this time together, I can see that we’d suit quite well.”

Standing, John crossed the room to stare out the window at the cold November day, his mind racing in several directions at once. “We don’t love each other,” he finally said, trying to add sense to an otherwise insane conversation.

“Not yet, but that will come. Besides, it’s the least we can do for Lois and Julia. Doesn’t Julia deserve a mother?”

He started to tell her he’d found the perfect mother for his daughter, then remembered that he had to pry her away from her fiancé first. But he could do that.
Maybe. And Julia loved Katie almost as much as he did, if that was possible.

Didn’t he deserve some happiness in this world?

Of course he did, or at least he thought so, until Caroline asked, “It was important to her that I help raise Julia. You know how much she loved her. Don’t we owe it to Lois to grant her last wish?”

John’s heart sank. He had failed Lois in life by not saving her when she needed him most. Was he to fail her again in death?