A Message for Julia (17 page)

Sunday Morning, 1:45 a.m. Three and a Half Hours Aboveground

J
ULIA SAT BESIDE
L
INC'S
hospital bed, waiting. He'd been poked, prodded, examined and tested for what seemed like ages. The doctor wanted him to stay until morning, just for observation.

He was finally settled. The silence grew. And grew. She struggled to think of what to say. Or do. He was alive and well. Thank God! The initial shock was wearing off along with the rush of emotion that had launched her into his arms.

Now what? Linc looked big and awkward in the hospital bed. He'd cleaned up some, but the grime of the mine still clung to his hair and streaked down the edges of his face. The fresh hospital gown and the snowy-white sheets contrasted with his darkness.

She let her gaze take in his broad shoulders and the torn skin of his fingers. She wanted to cry. She wanted to reach out and hold his hand. Hold him.

“We need to talk.” His words were way too loud and he cleared his throat as if adjusting the volume.

She couldn't resist anymore. She carefully put her hand on his uninjured one. She was surprised to see
herself trembling and even more surprised when he turned his hand and curled his fingers tightly around hers. “I know,” she whispered.

The silence returned.

“Could you…” He paused. “Would you consider coming back home?” His hesitation told her too much and echoed what Jace had shared with her about Linc's uncertainties.

She pulled her hand away, regretting the pain she saw flash on his face. Hastily, she tugged at the ring she'd kept on her thumb. “You are never taking this off again, ever,” she whispered as she pushed it back on his finger.

He nodded, staring at the ring before pulling her tight against him. “Never.” He agreed and smiled through the sheen in his eyes.

Home.
The word wrapped around Julia like a blanket on a cold afternoon.

She pictured the mess she'd left in the bedroom and the remnants of Linc's time alone everywhere else. She blinked to clear her vision and met his eyes. “The—uh—bedroom is sort of a mess.”

“I know.” Linc leaned his head back and glared at the ceiling. “I just… Sorry, I made such a disaster of it.” He looked at her again. “I'll fix it.”

Julia smiled. She knew he meant more than just the mess. So did she. “I'll help. I didn't exactly clean up. I was halfway packed when they called.”

“Oh.”

“Some of my junk is still in my car.” Suddenly she realized it was all there, her clothes probably wrinkled
beyond recognition. “And there's lingerie all over the bedroom floor.”

They held each other's gaze. Time stopped and the silence between them filled with all the emotions Julia had questioned over the past few days. She leaned toward him. She heard the mattress crackle and the sheets whisper as he moved, too.

“I love you.”

“And I never stopped loving you.”

She thought she heard him laugh, but the sound quickly vanished as their lips met.

He'd said the words she'd ached to hear. It felt good to say them. It felt right.

Linc's arms slid around her and pulled her to him. When the edge of the mattress got in the way, he lifted her and drew her across his chest. Her feet left the ground, and she let herself melt into him. A soft groan slipped from his chest and she pulled back, afraid she'd hurt him, but when she tried to move away, his grip tightened and the kiss deepened.

His hands moved down her back, over the curve of her butt and back up again. She slid her fingers into his hair and held his head still as she kissed him. Deep and long, the way she always used to.

She came up for air, but he didn't let her move far away. She snuggled into his shoulder and felt his mouth on the tender skin of her neck. She turned slightly, wanting to see him. Instead, she fought to keep her eyes open as he ran his tongue down her neck, to the low neckline of her shirt. His breath came quick and hot against her
skin, and she almost forgot that the door to the hallway stood open.

Every inch of her burned. She wanted to be closer to Linc, to make love to him more than she'd ever wanted him before.

“Linc,” she tried to tell him, but all she could manage was his name caught on a sigh.

“Does that door lock?” His plans echoed hers. She couldn't answer when his hand cupped her breast through her shirt. She moaned something that sounded like yes, but she wasn't sure.

“Lock it,” he commanded. Then as his hand gently squeezed, he whispered, “Please.”

She could barely stand. How was she going to make it all the way to the door? Her feet seemed to know what to do and she was suddenly there, the smooth metal lock in her hand. It seemed to turn by itself.

Her face flushed. Were they really doing this? She leaned her forehead against the cool door, her back to Linc, trying to gather her breath and her thoughts.

“What's wrong?” Linc's voice startled her, the uncertainty in it tearing at her heart.

She swallowed. The events of the past couple of days rushed through her mind, rewinding to the last time they'd talked.

The argument.

In the kitchen.

“I'm scared,” she whispered. Slowly, she turned around and faced him, leaning on the door when all she really wanted to do was melt into his arms.

“Of?”

“This.” She looked up at the ceiling as if there might be answers printed there. “I don't want this to just be about the fear, about what we've been through. Nothing…nothing's really changed, has it?”

She couldn't face everything falling apart again. It would kill her.

“Probably some of it is the heat of the moment,” he said softly. The pause was too long and Julia started to tremble.

“But not all. I realized a few things while I was down there.” Linc's voice deepened. “I understand why you changed jobs. I know the hurt I caused you—”

Julia couldn't let him take all the blame, but he held up a hand.

“Let me finish, please? Then I'll listen to you. I swear.”

She nodded and reluctantly smiled.

“You're right.” He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and planted his feet on the floor. After a minute, he stood and moved toward her. “Nothing has changed. I still have to go back underground if I want to make a living. You still work with kids who are going to go into the mines.” He stopped a few inches in front of her and ran a hand over his face. “And you still want a baby.”

Everything he said was true. She just didn't want to think about it. “What about you? Do… Do you still
not
want a baby?” She felt her heart about to break.

Linc didn't answer, and Julia wasn't quite sure what he'd say. He moved in close and ran his finger along her jaw before cupping her chin in his palm. “I want you to
be happy, babe.” He kissed her gently. “I'm willing to do whatever we need to to try.”

Julia breathed a sigh of relief and closed her eyes so he wouldn't see the elation in her eyes. There was more. She knew him too well. “But?”

“But I need you to do something for me, too.” He waited until she opened her eyes. “I need you to accept the outcome. No matter what.”

“I—” She couldn't speak and looked down.

His grip tightened, not painful but determined. “Look at me.”

Reluctantly she did.

“I can't change the past, babe. More than anything I wish I could.” His voice cracked. “I wanted our baby. I did.”

Her heart ached as she listened to him, but she knew he needed to say it, and more importantly she needed to hear it.

“It wasn't your fault. It wasn't mine, either. But I didn't do much to help, did I?”

She forced herself to meet his gaze, hoping that the stinging in her eyes would go away. “It's been…hard.”

“I know. After you left the house the other night… I have never felt so alone. It…hurt.”

She couldn't stay away any longer. She leaned toward him, and before he could say any more, she covered his lips with her fingers. “You promised to listen to me, too. So, listen. I know we've hurt each other. I know the past isn't going away. But you are the only man I want.” She leaned her head on his chest, needing to hear his heartbeat and his breath so blessedly alive. “I know
you don't always believe we're right for each other. Or that a miner's son is good enough for a mine-owner's daughter, but you are perfect for me.”

“Even if…we can't have children?”

Her breath faltered. “I can live without children better than I can live without you.”

She heard him gasp just before he lifted her face to his. Had he ever kissed her so gently, so sweetly? She wrapped her arms around his neck and he walked them back toward the bed. The mattress was narrow, but there were no plans to lie side by side. Still, it felt cramped. Their lips met again and the tight quarters no longer mattered.

He tasted delicious and she couldn't seem to get enough of him. She ran her fingers greedily over every inch, as if afraid the doctors had missed some bump or bruise. She found nothing but hard, warm muscles. She sighed into his mouth and reveled in the idea of being a part of him.

Suddenly, Linc moved and while he didn't let her go, he rolled to his side, trapping her between his body and the metal rail on one side of the bed.

“Julia. I never meant to hurt you.” The pain returned to his face. “I…” He closed his eyes. “I need you in my life. Always and forever.” He leaned down and buried his face against her neck again.

“Shhh…” She nudged him with her shoulder, forcing him to meet her gaze. “Don't ever let me go, Linc, not even if I'm stupid enough to try to leave.”

“Never.” Her words seemed to give him back his confidence and before she could take her next breath,
he was kissing her again, this time hard and determined. She opened for him and his tongue plunged inside, deep and claiming.

As if to remind them they weren't really alone, a knock sounded on the door. “Mr. Holmes? Are you okay?”

Linc started to laugh. The sound was precious, and Julia closed her eyes to take it into her memory.

“I'm fine,” he called out. “Just fine,” he whispered as he kissed her again.

“I have papers here for you to sign so you can go home,” the nurse persisted.

“Thanks. Give me a minute,” he said, but didn't budge. He just leaned on his elbows and smiled down at Julia.

“Linc! You're incorrigible,” Julia whispered. “Behave and let's get out of here.”

His smile broadened, if that were possible. “That sounds good. Really good.”

It didn't take Julia long to straighten her clothes and open the door. She pulled it open, half-afraid of what—or who—would be on the other side. Just the rush of the busy hospital—and the nurse who stood with a clipboard in hand and a knowing smile on her face.

Julia felt her cheeks warm but didn't explain. She simply smiled. Home. They were going home.

 

T
HE SUN WAS BARELY ABOVE
the horizon when Linc threw the last of his few belongings into the bag Julia had brought him with clean clothes. The overalls had
gone into the garbage, but he had his belt and some of his other equipment.

He froze as his fingers touched the cold metal. The brass plate that would have been used to identify his body was still attached to the belt. Still in place.

For another time?

He rubbed his thumb over the engraved metal. No answer came to him. The very thought of going back underground made his gut tighten, no matter what he'd told Julia earlier. The idea of finding another job tore a hole clear through him.

The door opened, and he hastily shoved the belt to the bottom of the bag. Julia didn't need to deal with that right now.

But it wasn't Julia who came through the door.

His in-laws looked haggard and tired. Guilt crept through him. They shouldn't have to be here. Not like this.

“Morning,” he greeted them, not sure why they'd come. He panicked. Had Julia changed her mind and sent them to tell him… Old fears reared their ugly heads. Linc shook his head to clear it.

Raymond stepped forward and as always Eleanor moved to a chair in the background, present but not involved.

The older man paced, looking out the window then back again. He obviously had something on his mind.

“You got something to say, Raymond?” Linc waited for his father-in-law's glare and was surprised when none came.

Silence stretched out. Long. Painful. Finally Raymond
spoke, his voice thin and tired. “You remember what I told you the day you married Julia?”

“Which part? The part about how I'm not good enough for her? Or the part where you'd end my miserable life if I ever hurt her?” Memories and pain clogged Linc's throat.

Raymond stepped closer. “The last.” All the old venom was gone and his eyes were red. “This is what I meant, damn it. This horror you put her through. It's not what I wanted for her.”

Linc almost laughed. “If it's any consolation, I didn't either.”

Their eyes met and for the first time Linc didn't see any hostility there. Just a man, tired and worried about his child.

“Linc…” Eleanor surprised him by speaking. “We…” She swallowed as Raymond turned away from them both. “We want to do whatever we can to help. Julia's our daughter and we just want her to be happy. She loves you. You obviously love her.”

Linc was shocked, both by their behavior and by his mother-in-law's words.

She stood and walked over to him. “I'm sorry things haven't been better between us.”

“
We're
sorry,” Raymond said from where he stood gazing unseeingly out the window.

Linc didn't know what to say. He stared at Eleanor who was smiling up at him through tears. She resembled Julia, and he realized for the first time what Julia might look like as she aged.