A Merry Heart (20 page)

Her lips compressed into a thin, straight line. “Of course not. It’s just that things won’t be the same for me after Grace moves into the house, and if I can find someplace else to live before the wedding, I may move.”

“My aunt runs a boarding home not far from here,” Nick said. “Want me to see if she has any spare rooms?”

“No, thank you. I’ll find somewhere to go, and when I do, it will be within the Amish community.” Someone opened the door to exit the building just then, and Miriam stepped quickly inside. “I need to get this quilt in for the auction before it’s too late. I hope you get all you need for
your mud-sale story,” she called over her shoulder.

Nick chuckled as he watched her retreating form. “I think that woman likes me. She just doesn’t know it.”

M
iriam made her way to the house as though she were moving in slow motion. Her mind was filled with thoughts of the conversation she’d had with Nick at the mud sale, and she wondered what kind of hold he had on her that she always managed to tell him more than she wanted him to know about her personal life. What had she been thinking, blurting out that information about Lewis’s marriage plans? She hadn’t even told Lewis she knew, and since his plans to marry Grace hadn’t officially been published during church yet, she had no right to tell anyone.

By the time Miriam reached the back porch, her thoughts took her in another direction as she remembered the marriage proposal she’d had from Amos that morning. She wondered if the man actually thought he’d be doing her a favor by marrying her, solving the problem of where she would live after Lewis’s marriage to Grace and all. If she were to marry Amos, it would be her doing him the favor, not the other way around.

She entered the kitchen and tried to focus her thoughts on what she should be doing. Baking some muffins and
making a pot of baked beans for tonight’s supper—wasn’t that what she’d planned to do after returning home from the mud sale? Maybe if she got busy, it would take her mind off Amos Hilty and Nick McCormick.

“How could Lewis keep something as important as his decision to marry Grace from me and yet tell Amos?” Miriam fumed as she pulled a tin of flour down from the cupboard. “Men are all alike. None of them can be trusted! I wonder who else Lewis has told, and how many other people have been hiding the truth from me. If people would talk behind my back about how William jilted me, then who knows what else they’re saying?”

Miriam soon had her pot of beans cooking on top of the stove and had just put a pan of muffins in the oven when she heard the sound of heavy footsteps clomping up the porch steps. A few seconds later, Lewis entered the kitchen with a broken harness hanging over one arm. “Umm. . . something smells good,” he said, sniffing the air.

“It’s muffins and baked beans for supper,” Miriam said.

Lewis dropped the harness to the floor, then pulled out a chair and sat down. “How’d the mud sale go today?”

“Fine. I sold both of my quilts, and that gives me a little more money toward Rebekah’s hospital bills.”

“That’s good to hear.”

Miriam stirred the pot of beans but said nothing more. She was afraid if she voiced the thoughts in her head, she and Lewis might end up in an argument.

He cleared his throat a couple of times. “Uh, Miriam, I think the two of us need to have a little heart-to-heart talk.”

She turned down the burner on the stove and took a
seat at the table across from him. “If it’s about you and Grace, I already know.”

“Jah, Amos told me he’d let the cat out of the bag. I’m sorry you had to hear it secondhand. I was planning to tell you, but I was just waiting for the right time.”

“Didn’t you think I could handle the news? Don’t you know by now that I can handle most anything that comes my way—even disappointments?” Miriam’s voice sounded harsh even to her own ears.

“You’re disappointed because Grace and I plan to be married?” Lewis shook his head. “I never expected you to be jealous.”

It was true. Miriam was jealous, but she never would have admitted that to her brother. “This has nothing to do with jealousy. It has to do with the fact that you told Amos, who isn’t even a family member, before you told me, your only sister.” She paused for a breath. “With so many other changes having gone on in our lives lately, this news is a bit too much to take.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“First, Papa dies, and then Rebekah gets injured. Next, Mom moves out of the house, and now I have to move out, as well.”

“I don’t expect you to move out. This is your home, too, and I want you to stay here as long as you like.”

“I’m sure you’re only saying that to be kind, Lewis. I would never dream of staying on here once you and Grace are married. It wouldn’t be fair to either of you. And quite frankly, I’m not sure I would enjoy it much, either.”

Lewis’s forehead wrinkled. “Why not?”

“I’ve had complete control of the household for several months now, and another woman in the house would be a difficult adjustment. I have my own ways of doing things, and I’m certain Grace has hers, as well.”

“But I’m sure Grace would be most understanding,” Lewis argued. “Besides, she’ll probably need your help with a lot of things.”

Miriam shook her head. “For a time she might, but soon she would come to think of the house as hers and want to run it her own way. It’s only normal that she would, and I won’t stand in her way. Besides, you newlyweds will need your privacy. When is the wedding to take place? Have you set a date yet?”

“We’re planning to be married on the third Thursday of November.”

Miriam nodded stiffly. “Maybe I’ll see if Mom’s willing to move back home, and then I could move in with Andrew and Sarah when the time gets closer to the wedding.”

“I suppose there’s nothing I can say to change your mind?”

“No, nothing.”

“I can’t believe I was dumb enough to propose to Miriam this morning,” Amos mumbled as he traveled down the road in his buggy toward the Weavers’ place, where his daughter had spent the previous night and would be waiting for him to pick her up. “Now Miriam’s really convinced that I only want to marry her for the sake of convenience.”

He gave his horse the signal to trot, hoping a brisker ride might smooth the edges of his frayed nerves a bit. All day he had berated himself for everything he’d said to Miriam—first
telling her about Lewis’s plans to marry Grace; then asking her to marry him; and finally, allowing her to believe he didn’t love her, but only wanted a mother for Mary Ellen. What a
dummkopp
he had been!

I do love Miriam and have for a long time
, he thought ruefully.
But what good is that if she doesn’t return my feelings?
Miriam had made it clear by her actions that she felt no love for Amos, and today, when she’d actually spoken the words, he had been crushed. At that point he would have made a bigger fool of himself if he had opened his heart to her, and he was sure her response would have only pierced him further by a firm rejection.

“Well, I won’t ask again,” he shouted into the wind. “If Miriam changes her mind, then she’ll have to come to me.”

On Monday after school let out for the day, Miriam went to Strasburg to do some shopping. As she passed a boardinghouse situated on a quiet street on the south side of town, she remembered Nick mentioning that his aunt ran a boardinghouse. Miriam thought this particular home, tall and stately, shaded by leafy elm trees, and surrounded by a white picket fence, looked like the perfect place to live. It would offer solitude, seclusion, and no more farm duties or household chores to take up her time. Living in a boardinghouse would probably mean that all of her meals would be provided, and her only real responsibilities would be to keep her room clean and, of course, continue to teach at the Amish schoolhouse.

Just think of all the free time I would have for reading, quilting,
and visiting friends and family
, she told herself. But of course, that idea was about as ridiculous as the thought of her marrying Amos Hilty. The boardinghouse wasn’t run by anyone Amish, which was obvious by the electrical wires running to it. And Miriam was too committed to her family to do anything that would hurt them or get her shunned.

She moved on down the street but had only taken a few steps when she bumped into a man. Her mouth dropped open. “Nick!”

Nick couldn’t believe his good fortune. He had run into Miriam twice in one week, and that pleased him more than he cared to admit. He smiled and winked at her. “It’s good to see you again, Miriam. I’ve been thinking about you and wondering how you’re doing.”

“I’m managing.”

“You’re looking well—as beautiful as ever in fact.”

Miriam wrinkled her nose. “Are you trying to flatter me?”

“Not at all.” He took a step toward her. “So, what are you doing in this neck of the woods?”

“I was about to ask you the same question.”

“My aunt lives here.” He turned and pointed to the stately home Miriam had been admiring. “That’s the boardinghouse she runs. Too bad you don’t live in Strasburg. I come here frequently to see my aunt, and if you lived in Strasburg, we’d be able to see each other more often, too.”

Miriam’s cheeks turned pink, and she stared at the ground.

“If we saw each other more, we’d be able to find out if
we could ever see eye-to-eye on anything.”

“I—I would like to move,” Miriam said as she lifted her gaze to meet his. “But it won’t be here.”

“How come?”

“I’m sure you know why, Nick. An Amish woman’s place is with her family.”

“What if your family lived here? Then would you consider moving?”

“Of course, but I have no family living in Strasburg.”

“What if I was your family?”

“Wh–what are you saying?” she croaked, her voice all but gone.

“I’m saying that you could marry me. I’m not getting any younger, and maybe it’s time I settled down with a good woman—and a beautiful one at that.”

Miriam’s face turned even redder, and he noticed that perspiration had beaded up on her forehead.

“You’re making fun of me, aren’t you?” she asked in a near whisper.

“No, I’m not. Listen, I’ve surprised myself as much as I have you by popping the question, but now that I have, I kind of like the idea.” Nick scrubbed his hand across his chin, realizing that he’d forgotten to shave that morning. “You know, I never thought I’d hear myself say this, but the thought of coming home at night to a good, home-cooked meal and a beautiful wife waiting for me is kind of appealing.”

He took another step toward her and was glad when she didn’t back away. “I know we’re about as different as your buggy horse and my sports car, but maybe we could make it work. After all, we do seem to find one another easy to talk
to, and there’s a certain kind of chemistry between us. In fact, this could turn out to be the adventure of our lives.”

“But. . .but—I would have to leave the Amish faith if I were to marry an outsider,” she stammered. “I’d be excommunicated and shunned by my family and friends.”

Nick reached for her hand and pulled her toward his car. “Let’s go for a ride and talk this over.”

At first, Miriam looked as if she might go with him, but then she halted and slowly shook head. “You’ve not said anything about love, Nick.”

He shrugged and pulled his fingers through the back of his hair. “Who says there has to be love in a marriage? There’s chemistry between us; you can’t deny it.”

“I could never marry without love, and leaving my faith to marry you is impossible.” She turned on her heel and started to walk away, but he reached out and took hold of her arm so she was facing him again.

“If two people are as attracted to each other as I believe we are, then nothing else should matter.”

Tears pooled in Miriam’s eyes, and she pulled away. “I–I’m sure you meant well, asking me to leave my faith and marry you, but I can’t. We hardly know each other, and even if we did, I think we both know that things could never work out between us. My faith has weakened in the last several months, but I won’t let my family down by leaving our church for a relationship that’s built on nothing more than a physical attraction.”

“Is that your final word?”

“It has to be.” She turned toward her buggy, parked across the street. “I need to go. I have chores to do at home.”

Nick felt a strange mixture of relief and disappointment as he watched Miriam climb into her buggy. He didn’t know what had come over him to pop the question like that, and now he felt kind of stupid. It wasn’t his style to let his guard down like that or make himself so vulnerable. Asking Miriam to marry him, when they were so different, bordered on ridiculous. Maybe that was why he’d proposed—because he knew it would never work and that she would say no.

As Miriam was about to pull away from the curb, Nick gathered his wits and called, “I wish you the best, Miriam. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on or just want to talk, you know where to reach me.”

Miriam sat up in bed and wiped the perspiration from her forehead. She’d been dreaming about three men. First there had been William Graber, smiling and waving at her as he drove away in his buggy with his new bride. Then Nick McCormick had come onto the scene, traipsing after her with his camera and calling her “fair lady.” Miriam had pulled her dark bonnet down over her face, and when she removed it again, Nick was gone. Amos Hilty stood before her, holding a bouquet of pansies.
What did that strange dream mean?
she wondered.
Was there any significance to it?