A Memory Unchained (13 page)

felt warm and comfortable.

Pamela’s teeth were still chattering as Grant built a fire in his fireplace.

“I love your apartment. It’s so, so modern!” she smiled.

The real word was “Funky,” but somehow she couldn’t

bring herself to say it.

“Can I pour you some wine?” he offered.

“None, thank you. I’m flying you know!”

“Do you mind if I have some?” Pamela nodded no.

They sat warming by the fire. Grant had too much

wine.

“You look beautiful in the firelight,” he said softly.

She shifted in the chair nervously.

“Thank you,” she answered softly.

“I think I love you!” he said.

“Please, Grant, don’t,” she interrupted. Her voice de-

noted a pleading tone.

“Come here!” he demanded, then smiled coyly as if he

didn’t believe his own forcefulness! The wine had made

A Memory Unchained___________ 117

him lose his sense of reality.

She decided it was best to pamper him. After all, she

thought, I do love him, in a very special way! She sat down on the couch beside him hoping she could make him understand the love she felt for him.

Grant roughly pulled her into his arms, his handsome

face inches from hers.

“I love you, don’t you understand?” he murmured softly

in her ear.

“But – you don’t understand,” she stammered, pushing

him back at arms length.

He pulled her close again and tried to kiss her full on

the mouth again. She stopped his advance.

Pamela knew she had to – but at that moment she

wondered if she wanted to. Her heart pounded.

She regained her calm and pleaded with him. “Please,”

she said. “Please stop now before you ruin things for us !”

Her emboldened voice made him stop immediately.

“Why – ruin – how?” His eyes were pleading for her

answer. He looked like a little boy who was caught with a frog in his pocket!

She knew this was her only chance. She had to make

him understand her feelings! It could mean the end of

everything if she damaged their relationship. How could

she let him down easy and not hurt his pride, yet, tell the truth?

She stammered … “It’s me, not you!” she answered

with a pleading tone in her voice again.

Grant poured another glass of wine. His eyes looked

heavy and glassy.

“You shouldn’t drink anymore wine,” she advised.

118 __________________Gloria Graham

“Please don’t..”

Pamela knew he was close to the point of passing out.

She sat next to him trying to explain her rejection of his advances. “I can’t love anyone else, not yet. I’m not free.”

Tears welled up in her eyes.

Grant held her close. Tears rolled down his cheeks.

The alcohol had taken its toll on him. “Not free – from

whom?”

“Will you love me when you can?” he pleaded. Pamela

knew she had to tell him the truth. But would he remember it tomorrow?

She had to tell him that her upbringing wouldn’t let

her fall in love with a younger man – a man who could

be her son.

Grant whispered “Why?” and then closed his eyes.

Pamela sighed pitifully as she watched Grant sawing logs

on the couch beside her, completely oblivious to the world and her explanation! She knew how sorry he would be

tomorrow.

She slipped quietly out of the room and hailed a taxi

to take her to the airport! She hoped he stayed “put” until he slept off the wine.

She wondered how much Grant would remember of

this evening in the morning. Sadness filled her heart.

Pamela arrived on time at Logan International Airport

in Boston. It had been a long, tiring flight and she felt a little groggy.

Pamela ran when she caught sight of Jill waiting behind

the gate. Jill threw her arms around her mother and they

began to cry.

“Look at us! Our makeup is a mess!” Pamela hugged

A Memory Unchained___________ 119

Jill again and again.

“You really look tired, Mom!” Jill grabbed her mother’s

heavy carryon luggage from her.

Jill waited to begin her questions until they got com-

fortable in the car.

“Now, what about the Frenchman?” she smiled. “Is he

cute? And who’s this Grant anyway?”

“Wait a minute darling.” Pamela squeezed Jill’s arm.

“I’ll tell all, but not that fast. We have the whole weekend together.” Then she added, “Nosey!” swatting Jill gently

on the arm!

Jill hugged her mom again as they walked arm in arm

to their car.

The weekend passed much too quickly but Jill finally

pumped her mother until she got answers to her ques-

tions!

Jill listened to her mother try and explain her feelings

for both the men. First Rex, then Grant.

“Sounds to me like you have three men crazy about

you!” Jill smiled smugly. “How about Jeff?” she added.

“I feel so frustrated. I just don’t know how I feel any-

more. Except I do love Rex in a very special way.”

“And Grant?”

“He’s much too young. He’s your age.”

“So what – haven’t you heard about younger men

and older women?” Jill loved to tease her mom.

“Jill!” her mother scolded. “You know better than that!”

“Yes, but he sounds wonderful,” Jill sighed.

“What on earth makes this collection of Rex Dupar’s so

special?” Jill asked with a serious expression on her face.

“I suppose it’s really because his creations are so beau-

120 __________________Gloria Graham

tifully simple, anyone can wear them; from the elegant

Boston socialite to the New York salesgirl!”

“I can’t wait to see his originals!” Jill interrupted.

“His research is matched by none other in the industry.

He knows what women want to look like and he gives

them just that look!”

Jill laughed! “Wow – what an explanation! You sound

captivated by this Rex Dupar!”

Pamela smiled, “He was wonderful to me, I saw Paris

through his eyes! Very special eyes I might add!”

Jill shook her head and grinned like she knew some-

thing her mother didn’t know.

Pamela always hated it when Jill had to go back to

school, but this time it was easier – she would be back in two weeks for a whole week’s vacation. Pamela knew if she said one more “be careful!” Jill would resent it.

It wasn’t easy for Pamela to keep her mouth shut, except

when Jill’s welfare was at stake. Pamela remembered vividly Jill’s heartbreak over Phillip Wesley. Phillip had seemed to adore Jill. They were constant companions. She had teased her on one occasion, “You can’t even use the bathroom

without suggesting he stay put!”

Jill had smiled But she knew it was the truth, he always

followed her with only inches between them.

“He’s smothering you! Can you breathe?” Pamela had

finally asked in a sarcastic way.

“I love him and that’s the way it is.” Jill looked squarely at her mother.

It was the one and only time there had been a wedge

in their relationship.

Jill had stayed away for a time. It was her first year in A Memory Unchained___________ 121

college, away from home and mother’s watchful eye.

Pamela felt the hurt of losing – again. It never occurred to her that Jill was feeling the terrible hurt of losing her dad, reaching out to fill that empty spot with Phillip.

Pamela remembered how she tried to convince herself

that he would be a good mate for Jill.

His deep brown eyes were magnetic. They seemed

matched to his thick waving auburn hair that never looked mussed or out of place. He was handsome, polite, from a

wealthy family and studying to be a physician. What more

could a mother want for her offspring?

Pamela remembered doubting that Jill loved Phillip.

He was Jill’s shadow and her escort, but it was obvious

she was not in love. When Jill called in tears to tell her mother it was over between she and Phillip, Jill sounded

devastated. When she arrived home, Pamela gave her the

gentle love and encouragement she needed to overcome

her disappointed love affair.

Pamela smiled again! Jill had grown up so fast, too fast.

It worried her that she never kept another boyfriend for

any length of time. First one, then another. Phillip had

disillusioned her. Pamela wanted her to experience the

kind of love she and her father had experienced.

Jill would never be serious when Pamela asked who

she was dating. “Oh, no one special,” she would answer

flippantly.

Pamela stood for a long while watching Jill’s plane

disappear from sight. For a moment she felt alone, and it was a feeling she had to deal with every time Jill left. Then she began making plans for Jill’s return.

“Only two weeks,” she whispered. Pamela smiled.

“Thank you Lord for her,” she whispered her silent

prayer.

The Boston sky was a yellow gold and a view

of the city faced Kel Orland as he sat with his chair facing the window. He never moved as Pamela entered the office.

The time had come for her to face him and explain her

actions in Paris. She felt she owed him a personal explanation. Her letter of resignation was just a cold formality.

She waited silent for a moment hoping Mr. Orland would

turn around. Then her patience grew thin!

“Mr. Orland, may I speak to you?” she blurted out.

“And what more do you have to say Mrs. Thornton?”

He kept his back to her. “Didn’t you say it all in your

cable?” He was deliberately being rude.

“Could you do me the courtesy of turning around sir?”

she asked firmly.

124 __________________Gloria Graham

Kel Orland whirled his chair around abruptly.

“We received your resignation and I have all your papers

in order Mrs. Thornton. I assume you have your belong-

ings out of our office by now?”

“Yes,” Pamela stammered, shocked at his attitude about

the whole situation. Pamela tensed up.

“You may reimburse this company for your plane

ticket.” He turned his chair toward the window again.

“Goodbye Mrs. Thornton,” he said coolly.

Pamela felt humiliated. She was crushed. He hadn’t let

her explain a thing! He acted like he was letting a stock boy go!

Pamela headed for the door like a whipped puppy. She

paused for a short moment. Then it hit her! What am I

doing? Should I keep silent and turn the other cheek? She looked at the door ahead. She could really tell him off

or just leave without a word. Her Christian attitude was

being challenged. She turned around again to look into

the face of Kel Orland who had turned to watch her leave

the room.

She shrugged her shoulders. Her vibrant smile was

gone, replaced with a look of determination. She tossed

her head back, in complete control of herself. She smiled at Kel Orland and said softly, “Thank you for everything. I’m sorry things have not worked out for us, but I do appreciate all you have done for me. Please do have a nice day!”

She turned and walked quietly to the door. She glanced

back to see Mr. Orland in a state of shock.

It hadn’t been easy for her, but then no one said doing

the right thing was the easy way! She muttered a phrase

as she walked out the door, “Onward and upward! One

A Memory Unchained___________ 125

down, one to go!” She thought about Jeff Desmond, her

‘one to go’ project!

A smile rippled across her lips as she said his name.

Jeff had been her first idea for a silent backer. Now she was going to see him about that idea. Her heart pounded.

She was anxious to see him and for more than business

reasons.

Approaching Jeff about the silent backer idea was a

long shot. He was a successful businessman already. He

had plenty to take care of without a project like this. She swallowed hard as she dialed the phone. “Won’t know till

I ask,” she rationalized.

When she heard his voice on the other end of the

line, she had that familiar queasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

“Pamela,” he exclaimed, “when did you get home?”

Anxiety reeked in his voice.

“Yesterday, but my time has really been messed up.”

“When can I see you?”

“How about lunch today,” she said. He agreed im-

mediately.

Pamela felt pangs of pride sweep in as she waited for

his next words. She hated calling him.

“Great, I’ll pick you up at the office.” His voice filled with anticipation.

“No,” she said quietly. “I’ll be out that way, I’ll meet

you.”

They agreed on a restaurant and Pamela left him with

her greeting, “See you soon.”

She could tell by the anxiety in his voice he thought

this was to be a romantic encounter. Their meeting was

126 __________________Gloria Graham

not going to be an easy one for her. She still remembered how he dumped her for the beautiful blonde. Even the

gossip columns were full of predictions about Jeff and his girlfriend’s future.

Jealousy gripped Pamela as she thought about Mr.

Playboy. He was probably between dates so he accepted a

lunch proposal! She didn’t like the way she felt.

She quickly pushed aside the churning in her stomach.

She really just didn’t care she told herself. This is business, nothing else!

Pamela arrived at the restaurant before Jeff. She could

see Jeff enter the restaurant from across the room. Every woman turned to take a look as he passed their chair. Pamela felt another flash of jealousy! Her face flushed.