A Matter of Destiny (24 page)

"Sharon?"

"Yes, Joe?" The sound of his voice was doing funny things to her insides.

"First, let me assure you that everything's fine, but you might want to be here."

Sharon frowned. "What are you talking about?" What a strange conversation.

"Luke and I are at the hospital, but it's nothing serious."

Sharon gripped the phone tighter, her knuckles turning white. "What happened? What's wrong?"

"Sharon, please, don't worry. He sprained his arm in practice, but the doctor wanted to take x-rays, just in case." He paused, but she didn't say anything. "We have your permission slip for any emergency treatment, but I wanted to check with you anyway."

Sharon thought quickly. "Please tell them to go ahead with the x-rays, and I'll be right there."

Before he could answer, she'd hung up.

The drive seemed to take hours, but it was actually only minutes before she stood in front of the Information Desk. The young woman behind it told her where Luke was most likely to be. Sharon thanked her and hurried down the hall. When she pushed open the door to the waiting room, she saw Joe pacing. He turned when she came in.

He wore jeans and an open-neck blue shirt, but it was his eyes that held her. She drank in his appearance as if she were dying of thirst and he owned the well.

Joe moved over to Sharon and studied her as one would a priceless work of art. "Are you all right?"

His words were low and caressing and sent shivers down her spine.

"Luke?" she questioned. As happy as she was that Joe was now speaking to her, she had to know about her son first.

"Should be done in a little while, depending upon how many patients are waiting. Want to sit down?"

She nodded and found a chair, then lifted her gaze to his. "Thank you for bringing him."

"What're friends for?" he asked quietly.

Sharon thought about his dark eyes, his voice, the way his hair curled onto his forehead, and a measure of hope loosened the knot of tension in her stomach.

Did he mean it? Could they be friends again?

The door opened and David walked in, hesitating only slightly when he saw Joe, but Sharon noticed.

David nodded to the older man, but spoke to his mother. "Mom, I read your note about being here. What's wrong?"

"Your brother hurt his arm during practice," she explained. "He's in x-ray now."

As she spoke, in came Luke, followed by a man in white. Luke had a big grin on his face, which helped to reassure Sharon.

"Mom, you should have seen the rebound I made. Then Jimmy Banks slammed me to the floor."

By his expression, one would think it had been an honor. Sharon hugged him, careful not to hurt his injured arm, which was in a sling, as her prayers of gratitude went winging upward.

"He'll be fine, Mr. and Mrs. Quinn," the doctor said. "No broken bones."

Sharon felt her face grow warm as she glanced at Joe. His expression was unreadable. She turned back to the doctor, deciding not to make an issue of his assumption.

"How long before he can use it?"

The doctor scratched his chin. "He should wear the sling for two weeks, taking it off only when he showers or sleeps, then I'll need to see him again."

"Thank you, doctor. He'll do exactly as you say." Her tone of voice informed Luke she meant it.

When the doctor had left, Joe turned to her sons as he held Sharon's arm to detain her. "Luke, if you feel all right, would you mind riding home with David? I want to talk to your mother."

Luke looked pleased and said, "Sure, take your time." He gave Sharon a kiss before following his solemn brother out the door.

Sharon started to voice a weak protest, but Joe's grim expression stopped her.

"He'll be fine. I
need
to talk to you."

His words made her feel dizzy with anticipation. Joe took her arm and lead the way out to the parking lot. Sharon savored his touch, wishing he'd never let go.

She was surprised at how swiftly night had fallen. After seeing her settled in the passenger seat, Joe went around and slid in.

Sharon held her hands in her lap. It seemed so strange, being with Joe again that she couldn't think straight. Her pulse raced as she wondered what to say. She was afraid of what
he
might say.

Joe didn't glance her way, but started the car, then pulled out of the lot. The dash lights allowed her to study his strong profile, and a rush of longing welled up inside. He slowed near the river and parked on one of the wooded trails.

She remembered it as the place where they'd first collided. When he turned off the lights, only a sliver of moonlight that sliced through the clouds relieved the pitch blackness.

Sharon stared straight ahead, her every nerve ending signaling his nearness, his spicy aftershave, even his warmth.

"Sharon, look at me." He reached over and turned her face toward his. With a muttered oath, he pulled her close and covered her lips with his.

She melted as he drew her into his arms. All the weeks of loneliness swept into her response. Sharon's hand crept around his neck, and she stroked the coarse texture of his hair.

Joe caressed her back and her hips as a deep moan escaped his lips, sounding more like pain than pleasure.

Then, slowly, he pulled away. "I'm sorry, Sharon, I guess my timing is off again. I can't seem to forget..." He stopped abruptly and gently touched her cheek.

Sharon shivered, even though spring had warmed the evening air. She wished he would tell her exactly how he felt. She had no idea.

He went on, "I hope we can be friends again." He smiled sadly. "Avoiding each other at school, and you hiding when I bring Luke home, is silly. When I leave in June, I don't want it to be like this between us."

Her mind raced ahead. She heard only part of what he was saying, the hidden meaning...sorry he'd kissed her...let's be friends...

She realized she'd been wanting something more, was ready for something more. Joe wasn't. Oh god, she thought. What have I done?

He wanted to tie up loose ends, forget any bad feelings. She couldn't tell him how she felt, and especially not about her suspicions of pregnancy. She could only pray that her fears were unfounded.

She managed to answer. "Yes, Joe, we can be friends." Her voice was flat. It wouldn't be an easy part to play, but that's what she'd asked for, wasn't it? She didn't deserve anything more.

Joe sat staring at her as if waiting. Sharon searched her mind frantically for a way to convince him she wanted to start over, but the words eluded her. What a fool she'd been.

When the silence lengthened, he started the car with a frustrated jerk, then arrived at her place within minutes. The house was dark, except for the porch light, which meant they'd beaten the boys home.

Sharon couldn't bear to be alone with Joe any longer. She was afraid she'd scream out her frustrations, or beg.

"Good night, Joe, and thanks again," she said, letting herself out of the car and walking swiftly up the path without a backward glance. Coward, she told herself angrily.

As Joe drove to his apartment, his thoughts raged as they had the night of the storm, the night he'd held Sharon and was sure she was finally his.

How wrong he'd been. The last weeks without her had been the lowest point in his memory.

He'd never felt so helpless, especially when he was used to making miracles happen. But he'd acted as honorably as possible, leaving her alone.

Seeing her again had thrown his good intentions out the window. He'd meant to renew their friendship, not grab at her like a love-starved adolescent.

Again, he was struck by the awful fact that he'd have difficulty in either role he chose, man or angel.

He was positive she was still grief stricken over her husband. He pulled into his parking space, anticipating another lonely evening ahead. Maybe he could still contact some of his guardian friends. That thought gave him a little hope.

Joseph was desperate for hope.

David and Luke had stopped for pizza and carried the steaming box into the house. It was obvious Luke was using his injury to gain sympathy and favors from his brother.

The aroma of sausage and cheese made Sharon feel queasy, but she wanted to sit with the boys. Handing them each a paper plate, they dug into the hot slices.

Sharon glanced at Luke, who was filling his plate. "Does your arm hurt, hon?"

"A little," he said between bites.

She smiled. "Sure didn't hurt your appetite."

Luke shot her an innocent look and asked, "What did Joe want to talk about?"

Sharon's brain stumbled over the answer. "Did you know he's leaving in June?"

David's head jerked up, and he stared at her, frowning.

"Why?"

Sharon wondered if he was sorry for the way he'd behaved. "He only signed a one-year contract, but now he's decided to go back to California."

The ache began, just thinking about it.

Luke didn't seem surprised, so he must have known all along. "Didn't you try and talk him out of it?"

Sharon concentrated on selecting a piece of pizza, though she had no intention of eating it. "Joe makes his own plans. It's none of my business."

Luke persisted. "I bet he'd stay if you asked him to."

Sharon blinked and shook her head. "What does it have to do with me?" She stood and left the room.

"What's the matter with her?" he said as the door closed.

Sharon climbed the stairs and laid down on her bed, alone with her thoughts. The men in her life paraded through her mind...Tom, Joe, her sons...

Each had taken a part of her, until she wondered who she really was.

If Joe had wanted more than friendship tonight, Sharon would have given freely of herself. Why had he kissed her like that, as if he couldn't help himself? For old times' sake? She didn't blame him, though, for being cautious.

What if he'd just wanted an affair all along and had decided to look elsewhere? That speculation made her run for the bathroom as she became sick again.

Sharon kept a promise to herself to visit Tom's grave the following day. It had been a poignant week, but she was determined to rid her life of harbored bitterness.

Thick, afternoon fog slowed her down.

As she parked the car in the visitors' lot, Sharon realized she'd slipped into her old habit of humming as she drove. Was that a good sign, or just a nervous reaction?

Remember why you're here, she told herself, to put the past behind you.

Since she hadn't been there before, it took awhile to find the marker. Even though she'd come upon the spot slowly, cautiously, the shock of seeing Tom's name engraved in the granite stone rocked through her.

She stared at the tablet for a long time, absorbing the reality, as memories tripped over one another, each demanding attention.

Had it really been nearly a year since the accident that had turned her life upside down? At this moment, it seemed like yesterday, yet so much had happened. Sharon knew she wasn't the same person any longer, innocent and trusting.

She remembered the words of an old song, "wisdom born of pain," and understood the meaning.

She knelt on the damp grass, clearing her throat as it tightened. She began to speak in halting words.

"I haven't come before, Tom, because I know the real you isn't here. But it helps to focus my goodbye."

She took a deep breath before going on. "You'll always be a part of my life and heart. Any doubts I had about your love are gone now."