A Love of Her Own (21 page)

“
I’m sorry, Ava. I just thought breakfast would be nice before we brought Janelle to catch her plane.”

“
You know what they say. A man should always be considerate of the mother of his child. It’s the least he can do, considering all those hours she spent laboring.”

“
You’re not being fair, Ava.”

“
Grow up, Hilton,” she snapped. “Life isn’t fair. If it was I would have been able to—” She broke off. “I have to go,” she said, her voice cracking. She ran toward her car.

He started to go after her, then decided to give her breathing room
. As he opened the restaurant door to go in, Linda and Marcus were coming out. Marcus gave him a high five. “See you later, Mr. Hilton.”

“
You got it,” he replied with forced enthusiasm.

He paused at the door to look her way
. As he watched she brought both hands to her face, and though her back was to him he was sure she was wiping tears from her eyes. Then her shoulders straightened visibly, and she turned to face Marcus and Linda. Her gaze went to the doorway, where he still stood. She quickly looked away, and he went inside.

As he approached Janelle
’s head was close to Max’s, like she was telling him a secret. Then she straightened and gripped his shoulder in a conspiratorial gesture.

“
Everybody okay?” he asked.

“
Fine,” Janelle replied cheerfully. “I think we’re ready to go. I can’t eat another thing, and Max is full, too.”

Everyone was quiet during the ride home
. Hilton kept hearing Ava’s last words to him. “Life’s not fair,” she had said. “If it was I would have been able to…” He was sure she was referring to her inability to have children. He didn’t know how to handle the situation. It was clear that Ava resented seeing him with Janelle. The details he’d given her about his and Janelle’s turbulent relationship probably didn’t help, but on the other hand, it should help Ava understand that he didn’t
want
to spend time with Janelle; he only did so when it was absolutely necessary.

At least this time he wasn
’t getting the vibe that she was trying to punish him because he had Max. He felt certain Ava hadn’t forgotten his telling her he was in love with her, and that she knew Janelle meant nothing to him; her anguish probably stemmed from Janelle’s presence in his life. He couldn’t say she was being unreasonable, for if the tables were turned and she was spending time with the father of her child he wouldn’t like it, either; and he supposed being unable to father children would only make it hurt more.

*****

“Thanks so much for calling, Ava,” Linda said when Ava pulled over in front of where she was staying. “I don’t know how I would get through this if it wasn’t for you.”

“
Hey, what are friends for?”

Linda, out of the car, leaned over and spoke in a low voice through the partially open passenger window
. “Now I’m going to suggest that you give
me
a call if you want to talk anything over.”

“
Thanks. I might just do that.”

“
Can I get up front, Aunt Ava?” Marcus asked after Linda had gone.

“
Why don’t you stay there? We’ll be home in a couple of minutes.”

“
But you always let me ride up front with you.”

“
We’re going to have to change that. They say kids should always ride in the back because the air bags could hurt you.”

“
Ah, they’re not gonna come out.”

“You never know. It’s
best for you to ride in the back. Safety first.” The truth was that Ava didn’t want Marcus to be able to see how bright her eyes were. Linda had, but wisely refrained from bringing it up. She just needed a few more minutes for the glassiness to dissolve, and the short ride home would give her the time she needed.

“
All right,” Marcus said, his disappointment evident. Then he asked, “What time are we going bowling?”

“
Later this afternoon. We’ve got something to do first.”

“
What’s that?”

“
We’ll talk about it when we get home.”

“
Am I in trouble?” he asked quickly.

“
No, of course not.”

Back at Ava
’s, they sat in the living room. “I spoke with your grandparents yesterday, Marcus,” she began.

“
You did? How come?”

“
I wanted to ask them if they would mind if you came to stay with me for a while.”

Marcus
’s eyes widened. “Stay with you? All the time?”

“
Yes, that’s right.”

“
You mean I don’t have to spend any time at the Avalon?”

“
I think it would probably be better if we invited your grandparents and cousins over here for dinner. We might even be able to take the other kids out with us once in a while or have them come over to play with you.” From the way his eyes shone she was pretty sure what his answer would be, but she had to ask anyway. “Would you like that, Marcus?”

“
Would I? Yeah!” He threw himself into her arms and kissed her cheek.

Ava hugged and kissed him back.
“I love you, Marcus.”

“
Me, too! Are you going to adopt me, Aunt Ava?” he asked.

“
Well, it’s not really an adoption. I can’t adopt you, Marcus. You already have—” she started to say “parents,” then quickly amended it—“a mother.”

“
Yeah, but I hardly remember her. I was five when she went to jail. Even before that I didn’t see her a whole lot. Like Aunt Sandra. She’s always out somewhere, especially now that she’s got that new boyfriend.”

“
Why is your mother in jail, Marcus?”

“
She held up a Li’l Champ with her boyfriend. The clerk got killed, and so did somebody in the store. They said Mama shot the customer. She got fifteen years.”

“
Fifteen years!” Good heavens, Marcus would be grown by the time his mother was released. No wonder the Hudsons were so concerned about his future. It was like he had no parents at all, and their age and health made it difficult for them to care for Marcus and the rest of their grandchildren.

“
How come you didn’t have any babies, Aunt Ava?”

“
Oh, that’s just the way it went, I guess.”

“
I wish you were my mother.”

For a moment she was astounded
. She put an arm around him. “You know, I think that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. There’s an old saying that goes, ‘you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your relatives.’” Her vision had grown blurred for the second time that morning, and she blinked furiously to drive away the moistness in her eyes.

“
Are you crying, Aunt Ava?”

“
Oh, just a little. It’s not every day that someone tells you they wish you were their mom.” She chewed her lower lip in thought, then got to her feet. “Come on, let’s go over to your grandparents’ and get the rest of your things.”

*****

“Now, Max, I want you to be a good boy for Daddy and do what he says,” Janelle admonished. They were in the truck on their way to the airport.

“
I’m not expecting any trouble from him, Janelle. He knows I’m the parent and he’s the child,” Hilton said.

Ignoring him, she said to Max,
“And you know that Mommy will miss you something awful, just as much as you’ll miss me. You must try not to think about it and be brave.”

Hilton muttered an oath under his breath
. She sure was piling it on. So help him, if Max started crying that he missed his mother tonight he’d call her and give her hell for putting the idea in his head in the first place.

Fortunately, Max seemed content to sing along with
the tune on the radio. Hilton took the opportunity of his son’s distraction to talk to Janelle. “Listen, I know this has been a difficult five days. I felt kind of bad for speaking to you the way I did last night when Max and I got in. The least I could have offered you was a restaurant meal, since most of our outings were for Max, like registering him in school, checking out after-school day care and buying him clothes; and we’ve been living on Chinese food and KFC. Breakfast was my way of trying to make it up to you. I was even going to apologize for leaving you alone on your last night…but then you took that potshot at Ava, which was unnecessary.”

“
You set the stage for that yourself, Hilton. You didn’t say it was someone you were involved with, only ‘a client.’ You even led me to believe that it was a couple, a friend of yours with a wife. Those references to ‘we’ when it came to keeping some street kid out of trouble were pretty sly.”

“
They weren’t meant to be.”

“
Anyway, all this secrecy makes me think you aren’t particularly proud of your relationship, the way you’d expect someone who was happily involved with someone would be.”

“
Well, make no mistake, I
am
happily involved. And I didn’t appreciate your making it seem like we’re two ships passing in the night when it’s much deeper than that.”

She shrugged
. “Sorry.”

He ignored the insincerity in her voice
. “I really do hope you and Donald can work out your problem, Janelle. But I’d be lying if I said I’m thrilled to have Max with me. I’ve waited a long time for this and was starting to think it would never happen.”

“
Thanks. I’m sure it’ll be fine. We just need some time to work it out. I appreciate your taking him.”

“
Of course I’ll take him. I’m his father, and I want to play an active role in his life. I don’t want to be heard from only when you sign the back of my checks.”

She didn
’t reply.

*****

Before Janelle departed for the gate she hugged Max again, and for the first time Hilton considered that she was unhappy about being separated from him. The tears in her eyes when she let him go only made him sure he had been right.

He wondered if she had realized how much she would miss him before now.

Chapter 17

H
ilton and Max went to the observation platform of the airport and watched Janelle’s plane take off. It sped down the runway and took flight with both power and grace. “You okay, Dude?” he asked cheerfully, patting his son’s shoulder.

“
Fine, Daddy. Can we go bowling now?”

Hilton felt encouraged
. Max didn’t seem the least bit upset by Janelle’s departure, and of course he couldn’t wait to see Ava. “We sure can.”

*****

After bowling Hilton took them to dinner at a Fifties style diner across from the beach. Ava wasn’t particularly hungry because of her heavy breakfast, ordered a small Caesar salad; but Marcus demonstrated his usual zestful appetite. She decided he must have a super speedy metabolism, or else he’d weigh as much as she did.

She said little during dinner, choosing to observe instead
. Hilton was jovial, clearly tickled to have Max with him, and he also made little gestures, like covering her hand with his, that she knew were meant to reassure her. She managed to give him a smile. She really did love this man, but it would take some time to recover from the double whammy of seeing him with his ex and their son not once, but twice.

Marcus and Max were getting along famously, with Marcus easily moving into a big brother role
. At the bowling alley he showed Max how to hold the bowling ball and how to release it, just as Hilton had shown him the first time they went to the lanes. Max was exuberant with Marcus and of course with Hilton, but he seemed strangely distant where she was involved. Ava wondered if it was merely her imagination.

The only private time she and Hilton had was when the boys went to the restroom
. “I’ve been worried about you,” he said honestly. “I can tell you’re upset and you’re hurting, but I don’t know what to do about it.”

“
It’s all right,” she answered. “I feel better now.”

“
It’s
not
all right. I saw how upset you were, both last night and this morning. I have a feeling the reason you feel better is because you know Janelle’s left. I don’t want this to be a problem between us, Ava, but the fact is it’s not going to go away. She might have left town, but she’s still part of my life. It’s going to come up again…and again. I don’t want her coming between us anymore.”

“
Neither do I. But I don’t know the answer, either. All I can tell you is that I’ll try very hard not to let it get to me.”

*****

Ava was about to call Linda when her phone began to ring. She answered it and broke out into a grin when Kendall’s voice greeted her. “Hey!”

“
What’s up? I’m calling to see if you’ll be able to check on the duplex this coming weekend. Michelle and her roommate are going to some bridal fair in Orlando, and we’re going to Atlanta. There’s going to be a big party at Spencer’s restaurant up there Saturday, and we decided to let the boys miss school Friday so we can get an early start. We’ll be back late Sunday night.”

“
Sure, I’ll do it. I’m coordinating a wedding Saturday afternoon, but I’ll stop by afterward.”

“
That’s perfect. Michelle’s leaving Saturday morning, so Saturday is what concerns us the most.” Kendall and Spencer continued to live in the duplex where they had been neighbors at the time they met, staying with Spencer’s sons in what had formerly been Kendall’s old apartment until their beach house was built, while Spencer’s niece Michelle and a roommate lived in Spencer’s old unit. “How’d it go with Hilton?”

“
Well, I met his son. He’s a sweet kid. And Marcus is staying here with me full-time now. I got permission from his family, of course.”

“
Well, that’s not surprising about Marcus. I’m happy for you, Ava. I think this is just as good for you as it is for him. Did you meet his mother?”

“
No.” Ava paused before deciding tell tell Kendall the truth. “Actually, his mother’s been in jail for three or four years, with a fifteen-year sentence for armed robbery and manslaughter. He barely remembers her himself. His grandparents are his guardians, and they gave permission for him to stay with me.”

“
Armed robbery and manslaughter? Wow. That boy really needs you, Ava.”

“
Like you said, we need each other. Kendall, let me ask you something.”

“
Sure.”

“
How do you handle it when Spencer sees his boys’ mother?”

“
It’s no big deal. You mean, am I concerned that she might still be in love with him?”

“
Sort of.”

“
Nah. They’ve been divorced for a long time, about ten years. She’s been remarried for about five, and of course now he’s married to me. It just isn’t a problem.”

“
Okay. But do you ever feel, well, resentful because they’ve got a bond that you and Spencer don’t have?”

“
Not at all.”

Ava sighed
. She and her friend were so different. Kendall had no desire for motherhood. Of course she wouldn’t feel left out when her husband spent time with his former wife and their sons. She didn’t even always go along when Spencer made business trips to Atlanta and brought the boys so they could see their mother and young half-sibling.

Then again, it really wasn’t fair
to compare Kendall’s situation to hers, or even Hilton’s situation to Spencer’s. Spencer and his first wife were both in happy second marriages, not just dating; and as far as Ava knew, Spencer’s ex-wife had never demonstrated the devious and deceitful behavior Janelle had toward Hilton.

“
Are you resenting the kid’s mother being here?” Kendall asked now.

“
I know I’m being jealous,” she admitted, “but I can’t help it. Bad enough she was staying at Hilton’s house, but on top of that I saw the three of them having a Kodak moment. It was hard as hell to see them out together, not once, but twice, once in the parking lot at Winn-Dixie and the second this morning at the breakfast buffet.”

“
What did Hilton have to say about it?”

“
He was very honest. Said he doesn’t know what to do. All he knows is that the problem will continue to exist because Max is still so young, and naturally he’s going to have to have contact with his ex for years yet.”

“
Max? Is that his son’s name?”

“
It’s Maxwell, but Max for short. Coincidence, huh?”

“
It sure is. And Hilton’s right, Ava. I know this much. You’re going to have to do something to control yourself. Jealousy can destroy relationships.”

“
I know. We’ll work it out. In the meantime I’m just glad she’s out of here. We had a nice afternoon, Hilton and the boys and me. We bowled two games and then went to dinner.”

“
Hilton spends a lot on eating out, doesn’t he?”

Ava made a
“hmm” sound. Kendall was right; he did. “He’s very generous. I hadn’t thought about it before, but I don’t know how he does it. He’s a retired cop, but his pension can’t be
that
good. And as far as I know his business is still slow.”

“
He’s working on plans for the house with Spencer, but those are only preliminary. He hasn’t even sent us a bill for consulting. I wouldn’t be concerned about it, Ava. Hilton is a sensible man. He knows he can’t run around spending like he’s a millionaire.”

*****

When she finished talking with Kendall, Ava thought of calling Vicky in North Carolina to ask how she dealt with her husband’s ex-wife, but realized the reaction would probably be the same, but for a different reason. Both Vicky and Danny shared custody of their respective children with their former spouses, making for a more balanced situation.

Funny how situations involving divorce and remarriage had seemed so foreign to her as a child; back then Kendall was the only one she knew who had a stepfather and step-siblings. Now blended families
had become commonplace.

Ava sighed. The
days of her, Vicky, and Kendall being carefree kids who lived similar lives had long past. Their domestic lives as adults were all different. Neither Vicky nor Kendall would understand how terribly left out she felt…but Linda would.

She dialed Linda
’s number, but no one answered. She’d try to reach her friend tomorrow. She needed to vent, but it could wait.

*****

But Linda called her first, the next morning. “It might be difficult for you to get hold of me. My dad had a stroke yesterday afternoon.”

“
Oh, no! How is he?”

“
Right now he’s resting comfortably. He seems to be stable, but it’s too soon to tell if there’re going to be any residual effects.”

“
I’ll say a prayer, for both him and your stepmother. This can’t be easy for her either.”

“
Joan’s very worried, but she’s managing to stay calm. I just hope…well, I know he was worried about Neil and I being separated. I probably shouldn’t have stayed here. This might not have happened if I’d moved into a hotel.”

“
Don’t even go there, Linda. One thing has nothing to do with the other. I’m sure your father would rather have you there with him at a time like this than somewhere else, all alone.”

“
I hope so. But I can’t help feeling guilty.”

*****

Hilton was a happy man as he roused Max from sleep that morning, then went down to the kitchen to put out his cereal. He slapped together a baloney-and-cheese sandwich, wrapped it up and put it in the lunch box he’d bought Max last week, along with a bag of chips and a can of pop he’d stashed in the freezer last night. It should be defrosted but still cold by the time Max was ready for lunch.

Max was already registered in school
—he and Janelle had taken care of that last week—but Hilton went inside with him, anyway, helping him locate his classroom. “I’ll be here at three o’clock to pick you and Marcus up. You don’t go with anybody else, no matter what they tell you. Get it?”

“
Got it.”

“
Good.” They had copied the exchange from an old movie Hilton had seen. They followed it with a high five, with Hilton bending to accommodate his son’s considerably shorter height.

His first appointment that morning was installing a hand-held shower head
and new kitchen and bathroom faucets for a client. Then he went to his apartment building to survey the move-out condition of a unit that had been vacated over the weekend, and after lunch he worked on the kitchen cabinets of a client who was rehabbing a cottage in the historic district.

He took a break at two-forty-five and was parked near the school ten minutes later
. Because of school buses that lined the street immediately in front of the school for children who lived too far to walk, he got out and stood close enough so that Max could see him when he came out of the building.

Hilton wasn
’t surprised to see Marcus accompanying Max. “If it isn’t Dude
and
Sport coming to meet me,” Hilton greeted. “I’m a lucky fellow. How’d it go, Dude?” he asked Max.

“
It was all right. I don’t like being the new kid, but Marcus told everybody he’s my cousin, so at least nobody will mess with me.”

“
Your teacher looked like a nice lady.”

“
Miz Kelly. Yeah, she is.”

“
You have homework?”

Marcus giggled
. “You don’t get homework in first grade, Mr. Hilton.”

“
Oh. All right. What about you, Sport?”

“
I’ve got homework. But I always do it after dinner. since I help you after school.”

“
I want to help you, too, Daddy,” Max said.

Hilton had expected this and had his answer ready
. “One day you will, Max, but not yet. You’re still a little small. Just think of all the fun you’re going to have at the after-school center. Remember how nice you said it was last week? You’ll probably see a few kids from school there.”

Max was mollified, and when they arrived he joined the other children without protest.

*****

At the end of the day Hilton first retrieved Max from
daycare, then went to Beginnings to return Marcus to Ava’s care. He always looked forward to seeing her, and as Marcus chattered about how nice it had been to wake up in his room at her house and go to school from there it occurred to him that Ava had probably been just as excited at having Marcus with her as he was about Max. She was the best thing that happened to Marcus, giving him the love and now the security every child deserved. What a wonderful mother she would have made. No, that was wrong. What a wonderful mother she
was,
for she had assumed the role of foster parent.

She seemed harried this afternoon, he thought as he watched her work behind the register
. The boys were watching TV in the back. “That does it; I’m switching banks,” she muttered after hanging up the phone with more force than was necessary. “My bank has actually moved up the deadline for check deposits to eleven in the morning, for heaven’s sake,” she complained.