A Love For Keeps (Truly Yours Digital Editions) (19 page)

Life seemed to have reverted back to where it was before he’d met Meagan and her family, only Nate felt his loneliness as he’d never felt it before. He was even thankful for the invitation to Abigail’s for dinner that evening.

One thing he’d found out about himself was that he didn’t want to be alone for the rest of his life. He was extremely grateful that he had Natalie, but she would grow up, get married, and start a family of her own one day. Then he would be all by himself except for when invited to dinner or when they came to visit him.

Nate shook his head to rid himself of his maudlin thoughts. Natalie was still a little girl, and it would be a long time before all of that happened. But even now, he longed for someone to share his life with, and he knew Natalie wanted a mother. He’d loved Rose with all his heart, and then Meagan had come along. That he was in love with her there was no doubt. But she obviously didn’t return those feelings … and he didn’t think the love he’d felt for Rose and then for Meagan would come more than twice in a lifetime. Was it possible that he could learn to care about someone enough to share his life with her? Natalie did need a mother.

He sighed as he stopped his rig outside Abigail’s and hitched his horse to the post. He helped Natalie down and watched as she ran to her aunt’s door. He was a bit surprised when Abigail opened the door herself. She enveloped Natalie in a hug and then smiled up at him.

“I’m so glad you could come. I haven’t seen you in several days.”

Her words seemed balm to his battered ego. At least Abigail was glad to see him. Normally he wouldn’t have been thrilled that it was just the three of them for dinner, but tonight he was relieved that he didn’t have to put up with her friends.

It was a surprisingly relaxed atmosphere. Instead of eating in the dining room, Abigail had set a smaller table in her parlor for just the three of them, and there was much more of a family feel to the evening than her elaborate parties. The first course was mulligatawny soup, followed by veal cutlets with brown sauce, rice, potatoes, and string beans.

“This is very good, Aunt Abby,” Natalie said.

“Thank you, dear. Of course, when Millie knew you were coming, she took extra care. She wondered if you would like to help her make some cookies after supper.”

“May I? Papa loves gingersnaps. Could we make those?”

“Of course you may. And you can take some home with you, too.”

“Thank you, Aunt Abby!”

Any hopes Nate had of leaving early disappeared, but Natalie was happy and excited, and he supposed there were worse things than spending an evening in Abigail’s company. Being alone and spending too much time thinking of Meagan, for instance. Perhaps it was time he thanked the Lord for the blessings he had instead of longing for something that could never be his.

The meal was quite pleasant, and once they’d finished, Natalie ran off to help Millie in the kitchen while he and Abigail went into the parlor.

Abigail breathed a sigh of relief. The family supper she’d planned had worked out well, and Nate seemed quite relaxed and at ease tonight. With Natalie in the kitchen with Millie, she might not have a better chance to broach the subject dearest to her heart.

She sat down on the settee and poured coffee from the pot her housekeeper had set on the table beside her. She put just a dollop of cream and two teaspoons of sugar in the cup, just as she knew Nate liked his after-dinner coffee, and handed it to him.

“Thank you, Abigail. Supper was delicious. And it was nice and peaceful.”

“Did you have a bad day today, Nate? You seemed a bit dispirited when you arrived.”

“It has been a busy week. Perhaps I’m just tired. I do appreciate that you weren’t throwing a dinner party tonight. I enjoyed the quiet evening.”

Maybe she’d been going about things all wrong, Abigail thought. It had never occurred to her that he would enjoy a quiet, family-type meal more than one in the company of others. Maybe he was just now beginning to appreciate that kind of thing. Whatever it was, he seemed quite at ease with her, and she was going to take advantage of his mood.

“You know, Nate, I think you are just lonely. I think you miss being married. You need a wife as much as Natalie needs a mother.”

For once, Nate didn’t argue with her. “I’ve been thinking about that.”

Abigail caught her breath. For a moment she was afraid she’d heard wrong and was afraid to speak. “That’s good. That you’ve been giving it some thought.”

He nodded and took a sip from his cup.

The thought that he might have someone—that Snow woman—in mind had her asking point-blank, “And is there someone you—”

“No.” It came out rough and firm and told her more than she wanted to know.

He was hurting. Something had happened, but she wasn’t going to ask about it. Instead, she was going to fight for what she wanted. She rose from the settee and went to sit on the footstool at Nate’s feet. She looked him in the eyes and spoke from her heart. “You know, Nate, you will never find anyone who cares about you and Natalie the way I do. I’ve loved you both for a very long time.”

“Abigail—”

“Please hear me out, Nate. Think about Rose. Can you think of anyone she would rather you marry than someone who loves you and Natalie as much as she did?” She didn’t wait for his answer but continued, afraid he’d stop her at any moment. “It’s what she would want, Nate. I know that you don’t love me the way I love you … but I will try to make you happy.”

There. She’d done it. She’d laid her heart at his feet.

Nate stood and pulled her to her feet. “You deserve more—”

“No.” She shook her head. She had no time to lose. “Nate, think of Mama and Papa. They were devastated when Rose died. If you were to marry someone outside the family, they might lose some of the closeness they have with Natalie and you. And … well, married to me, you would never have to worry about your position at the bank. Think about it, Nate, dear. The best thing you could do for all of us is to marry me.”

She held her breath, waiting to hear what he had to say, but Natalie burst into the room just then. “Papa, Aunt Abby! The cookies are nearly done. I can’t wait to taste them!”

Abigail had never been more relieved in her life. At least she’d been saved from an outright refusal. “I can’t wait, either, Natalie, dear.”

“Neither can I. Should we go to the kitchen and grab one hot out of the oven?”

“Oh, let’s!” Natalie said.

Abigail laid a hand on Nate’s arm as they headed out of the room. “Just think about it, please.”

Her heart leaped with joy as he nodded his head. He’d listened without getting angry and without telling her no. She could only hope that her plan to come between him and Miss Snow had worked. Now, maybe, just maybe, he’d come to his senses and see that he needed to keep his love and his daughter in his wife’s family.

For the next few days, Nate mulled over all Abigail had said. He’d been surprised when she dropped the conversation once Natalie came to get them. It was as if she’d made her best case for marriage, and she was going to let him think about it.

Now as he left the bank and started walking home—it was too nice a day not to—he thought about it all over again. He’d been thinking about the past and the fire and how guilty he had felt that he hadn’t been there when the fire reached his home, that he hadn’t been able to save his wife. If only he’d gotten word about the fire earlier! But all the
if only
s in the world could not change the events of that day, and he had accepted that long ago.

Still, he’d always wished for a different outcome. There was no way to get around the fact that, without Abigail, most likely Natalie would have died in the fire that day, too. A shiver went down his spine at the very thought. He would be forever grateful that Abigail had gotten his daughter to safety. He thought back over the last few years, back to the first few weeks when he’d been numb with pain. The whole family had been, but somehow they’d all managed to give Natalie the love and attention she needed, and no one gave her more attention than Abigail. There was also the fact that her father still thought Nate had gotten there in time to save Rose. Nate was sick of the guilt he felt that he couldn’t save Jacob’s youngest daughter. All Abigail had talked about had been true.

Normally, he would have brushed the conversation of the other night off and put it out of his mind until she brought it up again. But she’d been so right in many areas. Her parents would love nothing more than for Natalie to stay close, and the best way for that to happen would be if he and Abigail got married. This was also the first time she’d mentioned his needs, that he was lonely and needed a wife as much as Natalie needed a mother. The fact that the only woman he’d ever come to love besides Rose didn’t seem to want to have anything to do with him … well, that most likely did play a part in his thinking these days, too.

If he thought for one moment that he had a chance with Meagan Snow, he would not even be giving the conversation with Abigail a second thought. But much to his disappointment, Meagan had made it quite clear that she wasn’t interested in his courting her at all.

Natalie needed a mother, and he needed a wife. Abigail was quite right about all of that. She was also right about the fact that he didn’t love her … not like she loved him. He wasn’t sure he ever could. She seemed to understand that and still wanted them to marry. Could she be happy in a marriage to him under those circumstances? There was only one way to find out. She was having a dinner party the next night. He’d be the last one to leave for a change, and he would ask her.

Once Nate told Abigail that he wanted to talk to her after everyone left, he began to have second thoughts. She had a look of expectancy about her, and he wasn’t sure he was doing the right thing. But it was too late to change his mind now.

Abigail obviously wanted to know what he had to say, because she made sure no one lingered very long after dinner. As soon as the last couple took their leave, she led Nate into her parlor where she’d instructed her housekeeper to bring in coffee and the tea cakes she knew he was fond of.

“What is it you want to talk to me about, Nate?” She fixed his coffee for him and handed it to him along with one of the small cakes.

“I suppose it is about our conversation the other night.”

Her cup rattled in its saucer before she steadied it. “Oh?”