A Love For All Seasons (19 page)

"Mistress Johanna?"

Helewise's call slashed between them and they tore apart, both panting in their passion.

Shock and horror destroyed every bit of Rob's previous pleasure. He took a step back from her. How could he have let lust tease him into so dishonoring Master Walter? His heart continued its downward spiral into shame. He'd done worse than dishonor his master. Johanna was betrothed to Katel. By touching her, he'd committed adultery. Jesus God, had they been discovered they could both have been killed for this!

Johanna stared up at him. Instead of either dismay or worry, her gaze was filled with wonder and surprise. She pressed her fingers to her lips as if by doing so she could recapture the sensation of their kiss. Her eyes glowed bright blue in remembered passion.

"I come," she called to Helewise as she whirled and squeezed through the space between the distillery and the kitchen. "I was looking for Rob, thinking he'd gone to the apothecary's shop, but I cannot find him."

Rob breathed out his horror as he realized Johanna sought to shield their sin with her lie. Driven by guilt and the need to protect her false tale, he turned and raced around the house's corner, pushing through the bushes to burst out onto Market Lane. Turning away from Master Walter's house and the wide window that overlooked the street, he made his way by a circuitous route to the warehouse on the river. There, he slipped around its corner and took refuge on the stretch of riverbank he and Johanna yet called their own. Shielded by the willow branches, he dropped to sit, his back braced against the horny trunks. His emotions boiled, leaping from self-loathing to fear to the wonderful sensation of holding Johanna in his arms. And there they clung despite all his efforts to dislodge them.

If there was no awkwardness in holding her, would there also be none while laying with her? Even though his mind screamed he must not do so, his body filled with the imagined pleasure that would come from making Johanna one with him. Wanting filled him, followed by some deeper emotion he could not name. It was in the wake of this unnamed feeling that a whole new image woke in him. Last month, when Katel returned from his own, now separate, circuit of fairs, he learned that the maid who'd served his needs before his departure had been unfaithful to him. Rob had seen the girl after Katel was finished. Her nose was broken, her skin split on both brow and cheek.

As it had then, outrage filled Rob at such cruelty. Katel cared nothing for the maid or what she'd done; it was his pride the girl damaged by her betrayal. If this was what Katel did to one for whom he cared nothing, would he not do far worse to Johanna if he learned she'd touched another man?

Rage so sharp and strong it made Rob's stomach clench drove through him. Johanna deserved better than that cruel, scheming little whoreson. Why did Master Walter insist that his only child wed Katel, when he must know what sort of man his eldest apprentice was?

Rob's eyes narrowed. Well, if his master wouldn't protect his daughter, he would. Every muscle tensed as he tested the strength that resided in this new and powerful body of his. In that moment he swore to himself upon his mother's grave that he'd never allow Katel to hurt Johanna. Never.

Night had long since wrapped its dark arms about the spice merchant's house, gathering all those within its walls into slumber's gentle embrace. That was, all save Johanna. Her body was too alive with sensation to rest. Never in all her life had she dreamed that kissing could be such a heated experience. She closed her eyes, remembering the strength of Rob's arms around her, the gentleness of his mouth against hers and the incredible sensation of his body pressed to hers.

Even recalling his touch made her most private parts grow soft and warm all over again. The intensity of that warmth grew until it was almost uncomfortable. Johanna rolled onto her back in an attempt to escape it. Staring into the blackness overhead, she worked at sorting her thoughts.

Why had Rob kissed her? Her heart swelled. Because Rob loved her! No doubt, he'd loved her from the moment of their first meeting.

The excitement of being adored in secret made Johanna smile. This was just like the
lais
, for she was betrothed to Katel. Rob dared say no word to her of his true emotion. Surely, knowing Rob loved her would make it easier to wed Katel when the time came.

Johanna's brows drew down, and she tossed onto her side. Where once she'd loved and admired Katel, she now hated him. He was an oath breaker. While she'd kept her word, entering the convent school as she'd vowed, he hadn't kept up his end of the bargain. Although Rob said nothing to her of it, she knew Katel still tried to trick him into making mistakes. Katel was also trying to poison others against Rob. This very day, at Mistress Katherine's farewell feast no less, she'd overheard Katel speaking to several merchants. He had been slyly casting aspersions on Rob's accomplishments, the same ones her father had just finished praising. It made Rob look inept and her father a fool for believing his youngest apprentice gifted.

She shifted on her cot, once again jostling Puss. Disgruntled by all this motion, the cat gave an irate huff and rose. Gone heavy through a rich diet of Philip's scraps, the gray tom took his time stretching, as if to demonstrate how she'd hurt him after he'd so graciously agreed to sleep with her. He leapt off the cot to curl up on a pallet with a set of maids.

Johanna sighed at his departure, feeling strangely sad and lonely all at once. Across the room in his curtained bed, Papa grumbled in his sleep then loosed a loud snort. She stared at the closed curtains in fond amusement.

At least Papa wasn't in a hurry to see her wed. Tonight, as he did every time Johanna visited, Katel asked Papa to set their wedding day. And, as he did every time Katel asked, Papa refused him. This time, no doubt because she'd reached the marriageable age of ten and four, Papa had given as his excuse the fact that her education was not yet complete.

Unlike most tradesmen's daughters who learned their father's skills at his knee, Johanna was learning to read, scribe, and keep accounts. As Papa's wealth had grown, he'd invested his coins into properties, using the rents and other profits he earned from these to buy yet more warehouses and buildings. It was the skills of a steward she needed if she was to manage what her father built, leaving her husband free to concentrate on selling spices.

Still, her reprieve wouldn't last forever; the day would come when she and Katel would wed, whether she wished it or not. Years ago, she'd asked her sire to free her from their betrothal. Papa refused, telling her she'd best accustom herself to wedding Katel for the contracts were signed and the vows given. He'd gone on to say that even if he could break the betrothal, which he couldn't, he wouldn't do so. It was in joining his house to that of Katel's sire that Papa had gained access into the highest circles of trade. To break their agreement now would be bad business, indeed.

Johanna's jaw firmed in refusal. No matter what Papa said, he wouldn't wed her to Katel. He loved Rob, too. Somehow, she'd make him see that wedding her to Rob was far better than forcing her to marry Katel.

She closed her eyes with a happy sigh. Once again, her heart swelled with the wondrous torment of forbidden love. Oh, but the lasses at the convent would be positively green over this.

Never had Johanna heard Stanrudde so quiet. Closing her eyes, she leaned back against the tub's wall and listened. From their nests in the kitchen's thatched roof mice rustled and squeaked. Water lapped gently against the sides of her wooden tub. The fire hissed and spat. That was all she heard. Although it was the midst of the day, not a single crier called out the fineness of the ale he'd tasted. Not one regrater trod the streets, trying to rid himself of the remaindered goods he'd bought from some greater merchant.

She opened her eyes. The silence was unnerving, as if she were the only soul left alive in all the town. Even as she thought that she chided herself as a fool. A little over an hour ago,their gate bell had clanged, ringing twice in quick succession. She'd heard the gate open, then close, the bar again being dropped into place.

It had been the bell's clamor that had finally stirred her from her exhausted slumber. Johanna shook her head in amazement. Never in her life had she slept so long. Or, so deeply. So sound had her slumber been she'd heard nothing at all of those who she knew must have come into the kitchen. Wymar?

Whether or not it had been her friend their cook, she owed whoever it was a huge debt of gratitude. On the kitchen's thick worktable there stood a basket. If her eagerness to bathe kept her from looking into it, she didn't doubt it was filled with food. Beside it lay a comb and a fold of linen toweling. Even her bath had been prepared, the cold water standing in the tub needing only the addition of hot to make it bearable. That Johanna had found simmering in the single pot that now hung over the restored kitchen fire.

She smiled as she glanced at the hearth. Just as yesterday's dying kitchen blaze had reclaimed its life from the ashes, so, it seemed, had she. Her eyes narrowed in determination. Now that she again had a grasp on her future, she found she was loath to let it go even if keeping it meant she remained married to Katel for the rest of her days.

For the first time since her return to Stanrudde, Johanna pondered her husband's threat against her. The probability of his success seemed so unbelievable. No matter what lies Katel might tell, a whole convent full of nuns would testify there had been no adultery.

Rather than inspire confidence, confusion and worry tangled in her. She knew her husband. He made no threats he did not expect to fulfill. Moreover, Katel would not have revealed even what little he had of his plot if he believed she could stop him. The very fact that she was in this kitchen, alone and unguarded, said he thought her no threat.

Johanna caught her breath in understanding. While that might be true, it was not the only reason she remained unwatched. Katel was encouraging her to run, just as she had done yesterday. He dared her to seek refuge elsewhere. As he had told her, he wanted her to scream aloud her innocence.

Understanding grew. Once again, she saw the reaction of the townsmen to her husband's broad hint of her adultery. In their eyes, Katel was a doting but duped husband. It had not been to make her his prisoner that he'd sent Theobald to fetch her back to him after her attack. Of course he had upbraided Watt for being too slow in finding her. A caring husband did not drag his feet when the wife he adored was foully attacked by a savage crowd.

Johanna's shoulders sagged. Would that she might someday learn to control her impulsiveness. Yester-day's rage-driven race now seemed only to confirm Katel's implication of adultery, a guilty dash to avoid the husband she had misused.

Mary save her, but Katel was cunning. To be cuckolded was a terrible thing for a man, so terrible that the world forgave the horrible murders and terrible mutilations done in its name. There wasn't a soul in Stanrudde who'd believe Katel sought the humiliation of that title all the while knowing his wife had done no sin against him.

Still, how could he imagine he could succeed when she had so many witnesses to her innocence? Frowning, she worried the issue, tugging it one way then the other in her mind until she saw the answer. Their oaths would only serve her if she actually called into church court. If Katel did not care about the testimony of nuns it could only mean he did not expect her to have the opportunity to call for that testimony.

Why not? Katel was too clever to kill her himself the way any other man might be driven to it by his wife’s betrayal. Were her innocence posthumously exposed, he'd face the charge of murder.

As consternation grew so too did the need to turn their house upside down until she found some clue as to his plot. Days, Katel had said. There was still time.

Ach, but how could she begin to search if she did not understand what it was she sought? Even if she found something, Johanna wasn't certain she'd recognize it for what it was. It was with frustration churning in her stomach that she once more leaned back into the tub.

The worst of all this was the threat against Rob. She accepted she'd earned her fate by seeking to repay Katel's every slight with one of her own until their war escalated to its ultimate conclusion. But, Rob was truly innocent. A wave of sadness flowed over her. Would that she had made this change in herself before she'd met with him. Yesterday's selfish child had not only hurt him, accusing him of a betrayal he had not committed, but had cheated her of the opportunity to warn him against Katel. Were she to now seek him out and be discovered she would surely be damned as an adulteress the moment Katel's accusation came.

From the recesses of her memory woke the echoes of Rob's voice. Johanna came upright in the tub, hearing now what she'd been too angry to hear then. Rob knew! He had tried to warn her against Katel.

She breathed in new relief. If Rob knew, he must have found a way to shield himself from Katel just as he'd done so many times in the past. Excitement grew apace. If Rob knew, he could tell her what sort of proof she needed to stop Katel. True, she could not go to him on her own, but she could send Watt.

Confidence soared for a moment only to crash back to earth. How? No longer was Rob Robert of Blacklea or Robert of Stanrudde. It was certain he wasn't Robert the Bastard, as Katel had named him Not only did she not know where Rob was or what he called himself, she didn't even know what trade he now practiced.

That he was likely the only foreign Robert in town only made the task more difficult. If Watt went about asking every man upon the street about a Robert who was not from Stanrudde, Katel would soon learn of it, thus exposing Watt to his wrath, leading, most likely, to Watt's dismissal. Worse than that, Katel would swiftly see that the whole town knew his wife was seeking out this foreigner. Once again, this would but serve to convict her when Katel's charges came.

The water had gone from chill to icy. Johanna glanced in disgust at the corner in which she'd thrown her ruined gowns. If her anonymous benefactor had been unable to provide clothing, it was because her garments were yet at the convent. In her anger over how easily Katel had torn her from the retirement she'd believed would be permanent, she'd purposefully left them behind her. The Johanna of yesterday, with her spoiled, hate-filled thinking, had seen the time and energy it would cost her husband to retrieve them as suitable vengeance for how he'd forced her where she did not wish to go.

Once again, what she'd meant as a blow against others swung round to hit her. Since Katel only hired women shorter than he, none of the maid's attire would fit her. Johanna again glanced at her tattered clothing. However unwearable, they'd have to do.

Rising from the water, she leaned across to the table and grabbed the towel. It slid heavily off the edge and unfolded to spill a jumble of brown and green fabric onto the floor. Johanna cried in wordless wonder as she stared at the humble gowns dating from the days when her father ruled this house. It was as if two beloved and long forgotten friends had come to call. Leaping out of the tub, she wrapped the towel around herself and knelt to gather the garments close.

As she did, she looked again at them. The weave was all wrong for the gowns her father's servants had worn, and the colors amiss, the green being too light, the brown too strong. However old and worn, they weren't gowns from her father's time.

Who cared! No matter where they'd come from or that they were well darned and patched, they would do. They would more than do.

With the gift of these garments, faith took root in her. Too long had she been in the habit of concentrating on all that was bad in her life. Aye, so deep had her belief in the negative been that she'd nearly died. This morn she saw how much of what had happened yesterday was good. Aye, Katel threatened her, but had not both Leatrice and Watt offered their support? True, she'd been horribly attacked, but she had not been raped or killed. Rather, the Lord God had seen fit to send Rob to protect her.

She sighed. Would that she had not destroyed Rob's love, but even in that there was good. Only through her confrontation with him could this change in her have taken place.

When she was dry, she drew on the gowns and smiled. They were only a little short. There was a bit of cord to bind them to her waist, but no purse. Donning her own shoes and stockings, she once again draped Watt's mantle over her shoulders to keep the cold at bay. Then, taking up the comb, she smoothed her wet and tangled hair.

The scratch at the door was so faint Johanna thought she misheard until it came again. Startled, she turned to stare. For privacy's sake, she'd set the bar before stepping into the tub. If this was one of the household servants, they'd have tried the latch then boldly knocked when the door didn't open. The tap was repeated, this time, followed by a woman's quiet sob.

"Please Wymar, I know you're there. I can see the smoke coming from the vent. Please let me in. I am so cold and hungry."

"Leatrice?" Johanna breathed in surprise.

Throwing aside the bar, she opened the door. Her former maid tumbled into the room on a shaft of piercing winter's light so bright Johanna squinted against it. Leatrice glanced around the barren walls and empty corners then turned with a sharp breath of fright, only to gasp in deeper surprise. "Mistress, what are you doing here? Where is everything?"

Her eyes flew wide as she took in Johanna's bruised face. "May God have mercy! What has happened to you?"

"It is a story longer than I care to tell," Johanna replied, unwilling to discuss any of her personal situation with her former maid. "What are you doing here?"

"Wymar always has a crust of bread and a cup of broth for those unfortunates who cross his path." Leatrice hurried to the hearth and spread her cloak to capture the heat. "I never thought I'd be the one needing it," she added with a tiny sob.

Although not surprised that their cook would dare to defy Katel's edict that all charity be done outside these walls, Johanna shot her a stern look. "If either Katel or Theobald find you, they'll, beat you senseless."

"No one saw me come. The apothecary's new wife took pity and let me through their shop. There is a wee space between their back hearth and the kitchen wall, just enough to let me pass."

"Ah," Johanna murmured. As she once again barred the door to conceal from her husband and his lickspittle what they did not know, her many memories of using that same passage filled her. The last time had been the night before Rob disappeared. Master Colin had seen her, or so her father had told her. She leaned against the closed door as the thought of the apothecary's betrayal tried to stir the embers of her anger and hatred. It was without reluctance Johanna released her hold on those two emotions. If not Master Colin, it would have been someone or something else. Dear God, but she could have found herself in Leatrice's position.

"Please, mistress," Leatrice cried softly. "The babe within me cries for food. Might I have a bite to eat?"

"Let me see what I have to give you," Johanna replied, moving to the table and pulling back the cloth that covered the basket.

A goodly wedge of cheese lay alongside a thick slice of ham. There were also several slices of bread, not the lighter, wheaten stuff, but heavy, dark slices made from some combination of oats and rye. Taking the basket, she joined her former maid at the hearth.

Once Leatrice had grabbed a slice of the bread with a soft cry of thanks, Johanna set it aside to plait her hair. "You know you cannot stay here," she said, her fingers working wet strands into one long braid. There was no thong to tie at its end, but her hair had curl enough that it stayed as she left it.

Leatrice freed a worried sob around the food in her mouth. "Oh mistress, you cannot send me away. When my father saw my state and learned that I had lost my place with you, he sent me out onto the streets. Neither the monks at the priory or the abbey will let me in, as they already overflow with the starving. I have nowhere left to go."

"You cannot stay here," Johanna repeated with a shake of her head. Reclaiming the basket, she took a piece of cheese to break her own fast, then handed Leatrice another slice of bread. "If either Theobald or Katel find you, you'll not only be homeless, but bloody and bruised as well."

This time Leatrice gave a terrified moan. "But I cannot go back out on the streets! All the night long I moved from one hiding spot to another, trying to avoid the bands that roamed the lanes." This time when she paused, it was to wipe away the tears that dribbled down her face.

"What bands?" Johanna asked, before she remembered that Theobald had spoken yesterday of what violence the starving did to the town.

The maid stared at her in disbelief. "Do you not know? Last even Stanrudde was torn apart as men destroyed shops and set homes afire. It was terrible, mistress. I thought for certain I would be killed when a mob came to the abbey at the same time I knocked on their gate. The mob was raging, screaming for the abbot to give them the one on whom they blamed all their ills."

"It is no one man's fault that the crops failed," Johanna retorted. It was an absent comment, made as she explored the tickle of a thought at the back of her brain. Afternoon last, this kitchen had already been stripped of supplies, emptied as if against potential attack. How could Katel have known what had yet to occur?