A Lova' Like No Otha' (12 page)

He didn't want me to hear his speech ahead of time. The only thing I knew was its title, “Staying Afloat When the Waters Are Raging.” He did a fantastic job with his address. It was basically the story of how he made it to the NFL, and it was so inspirational.

As I watched him onstage, I had another fantasy. I imagined running up to him, pushing the mike away and kissing him like he'd never been kissed before.

I shook my head.
What is wrong with me? Oh, how I want that man!

After his speech, Chase was flooded by guests wanting to offer their congratulations, wanting to tell him how excited they were to have him with the Storm.

I stood to the side, wanting to watch him as he stood in his glory.

“You know what?
You
are the Storm!” one man exclaimed.

Others around Chase agreed, but he didn't. Chase shook his head. “No, this is definitely a team effort.”

I smiled with pride. There was no denying that Chase had made the difference on that team. Since he joined, the offense was doing better than ever, averaging thirty points a game. They had won four games in a row.

“Chase, you can be modest if you want to,” the man continued. “But come on, tell us your secret.”

Chase lowered his head, just a bit. “There's no secret. Any success I have is due to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Every victory I help the team achieve comes from the Lord.”

At those words, I walked to the back of the ballroom. I was sure that Blanche was looking for me and I had heard enough. Those words were the reason why I was so in love with that man.

October 13th was the seventh game of the season and Chase went off by himself—again. He was taking our relationship slowly, and I knew God was guiding his steps. That should have been enough for me. But I longed for things to go a little faster.

Still, I was excited about the game and made plans for Shay and Fawn to come over to our apartment to watch the game on TV. I was grateful for the support and friendship of Shay and Fawn. Over the weeks, we'd become closer.

“I don't know why I'm so nervous about this game,” I said as I placed a bowl of potato chips on the table.

“Girl, you don't have a thing to be nervous about.” Shay laughed. “Your man is a star! And next week you don't have to be stressed because it's a bye week.”

I laughed with Shay, but I still shook inside. I realized that any game could be Chase's last. There was always the possibility that he could have a bad day or get injured.

“Can the winning streak continue?” the announcer asked as I turned up the TV's volume just minutes before the game was to begin. “Since Chase Farr got on the field, the Seattle Storm have been unbeatable. But is there any reason to believe that their luck will continue? Is this guy really a diamond in the rough? Before this season, no one had ever heard of this bench rider from the University of Miami. But we sure have heard of him now.”

The announcer's words made me feel even more uneasy. Shay and Fawn chatted as I watched the Storm, then San Diego, taking the field. I said a quick, quiet prayer as the captains did the coin toss and sighed when San Diego got the ball first.

That's not a good sign,
I thought.

I was right.

During the first three quarters, Chase dropped two passes and fumbled one sure catch, which was picked up by San Diego and run back for a touchdown. I saw the dejection in Chase's face when a camera zoomed in for a close-up of him. All I wanted to do was reach through the television and put my arms around him.

“It looks like the honeymoon is over for Chase Farr,” the announcer said. It almost sounded as if he were chuckling, enjoying Chase's demise.

It was all I could do to hold back my tears.

Fawn noticed my anguish. “Oh, come on, Zoe. It's not that serious. This is just one game.”

Her words released my floodgates. Tears started to flow.

Shay put her arm around me and handed me a tissue. “You can't go crying just 'cause your guy's not doing well.”

“It's not the stupid game,” I blubbered. “I just want him so bad, and I don't know what to do.”

“You've already got him, girl,” Fawn said.

“But I want us to be . .. together.” I sniffed into the tissue.

“You mean physically?” Shay asked as if she were surprised.

“Yeah.” I pointed to the screen. “Look at him. He's so fine! I think about being with him all the time!”

“I know what you mean, girl,” Shay said, shaking her head. “I think about being with Byron all the time. Well, at least I used to.” Shay looked down at her finger and at the huge rock on it, which her guy had just given her last week. “Then I started praying about it, and God let me know that our time would be coming soon. So now, I think about other things in our relationship, and now it doesn't bother me so much.”

Through my tears, I sighed with relief. I wasn't sure what Shay and Fawn would think once I said that I wanted to be with Chase. In the past, I'd known people who were Christians, and many times, I found them to be judgmental. So, I was glad to know that Shay had experienced the same feelings I had.

It was also good to know that I could be real with Shay and Fawn.

“But don't you think he needs…you know, to be intimate?”

“You are so naive, Zoe,” Fawn said. “Do you really believe a guy needs to have it? That if you don't give it up, he's gonna go out there and sleep with the first thing that walks his way?”

I hadn't said any of that, but I was amazed that Fawn knew exactly what I'd been thinking. I knew it was only a matter of time before some woman caught Chase's eye. And, with her, he might suddenly decide not to wait.

I said, “Well, that's true of most of the guys I've ever known.”

Shay laughed.

“I mean, I'm sure he's at least thinking about it. He is a man, after all. You know what I'm saying?” I giggled, wiping my tears away.

Fawn stared at Shay and me. “Personally, I don't think that's funny.” She crossed her arms in front of her. “You need to get your mind off that.” She paused. “One of the reasons you might be thinking a lot about being with Chase is because you're living here with him. The best thing for you to do is to stop living together.”

I forgot all about my tears and I looked at her with wide eyes.

“It was one thing when you and Chase were just friends,” Fawn continued. “But now that you guys are dating, this sort of arrangement is shacking.”

“How can it be shacking when my room is clear on the other side of the apartment?” I argued.

“You're still in the same house. You said you think about being with Chase all the time. If you keep this up, you're going to end up having sex with him. The temptation is not going to go away.”

I shook my head. “We're fine—”

“This will put a strain on your relationship,” Fawn interrupted me. “I know that's not what he wants.”

“How do
you
know what he wants?” My face grew hot.

“Because when he came over for dinner a few nights ago, Chase told Frankie that he wasn't interested in anyone. Frankly, I was quite surprised when you said you two were now dating.”

Inside, my heart pounded, but I tried to keep cool. “Maybe he just told your husband that because he didn't want our relationship out there. We agreed to keep it secret.”

“So, why did you tell us?” Fawn snapped back.

“'Cause I thought we were friends. Mistakenly, I thought we could talk like that.”

“I want to be your friend, Zoe,” Fawn said. “But I have to be honest. I have to intervene when I see two Christian friends about to fall. It doesn't make sense for you to put Chase in a situation that will compromise all that he's done. I truly hope that he remains a virgin. There aren't too many out there.”

I swallowed. I had never told Fawn or Shay that Chase was a virgin. So, I knew that he had told Fawn's husband everything.

“And from what you told me about your relationship with that guy who left you at the altar,” Fawn continued her case, “you're not a virgin. So, don't try to mess up someone who is.”

I was angry now. And hurt. And I wanted to hurt Fawn back. “I think you're just jealous 'cause you don't get enough, even though you're married.”

“Hey, y'all, calm down,” Shay said, standing up between us as if she were going to have to be a referee. “Let's get some love up in here.”

I stared at Shay, but I wasn't mad at her. She was cool, though I knew she didn't understand where I was coming from. She and Byron were getting married. All they had to do was set a date. They had a level of commitment that was much higher than what Chase and I shared.

But Fawn! How dare she look down on me? She was married. She couldn't possibly understand what I was feeling, wanting to be with my man but being weighed down by knowing that wasn't how God wanted it to be.

If I'd learned anything in my relationship with Devyn, it was that doing things my way wasn't right. Now I was learning that doing things God's way was really hard. All I needed was a little help and I thought I would get it from my friends. But Fawn was definitely not helping with her high-and-mighty talk.

“Hey, guys, look!” Shay pointed to the TV.

While we were arguing, the Storm had made a comeback.

“This is quite a turnaround,” the announcer said. “But I don't think the Storm can pull it out.”

The score flashed on the screen: San Diego 21, Seattle 14.

The announcer continued: “There's only one minute left and San Diego has the ball deep in Seattle territory.”

Silently, the three of us settled on the edge of the couch. We watched the San Diego quarterback roll back and toss the ball to one of his running backs. But a moment later, a defensive back knocked the ball from his hands, giving the Storm possession.

We stood and cheered.

“There's still plenty of time,” I said, clasping my hands together.

“It was a good play, but with only forty seconds left, I think the Storm's good luck has run out,” the announcer said as if he were responding to me.

I shook as the Storm huddled and then lined up. The quarterback rolled back and threw the ball to Frankie. The ball wobbled in his hands for a second and then dropped to the ground.

Fawn groaned.

Ten seconds had been wasted and I realized the Storm had no time-outs left. Again, our quarterback dropped back, and this time, he threw the ball to Chase. He caught it on the thirty-six yard line and ran toward the end zone.

Shay and Fawn and I jumped up and screamed at the TV.

“Run, Chase! Run, baby!” I yelled.

When Chase scored, running all the way to the end zone untouched, our screams rattled walls.

We screamed and laughed and hugged.

“You can't tell me that brother don't deserve some lovin' when he gets home,” I said. Instantly, the joy and excitement evaporated from the room.

Fawn dropped her arms from around me. “I'm gonna say one thing to you, girl, and then I'm gonna go.” Fawn paused. “I think you need to pack your stuff and leave before that brother gets home.”

I couldn't believe what Fawn was saying. But before I could say a word, she continued. “The reason that man's got the talent he does is because he's being blessed by God. And your desires may cause him to stumble. His relationship with God could be altered because of you.”

I stood, speechless. How could this woman be saying such things to me?

“Now, I'm not saying this to be mean or cruel,” Fawn went on, “so don't look at me like I'm something horrible. We Christians usually don't stand up for what's right when others come and destroy our walk with Christ. We just sit back and allow it to happen. But the Bible says we're supposed to bear one another's burdens, and that means we've got to get involved, even get in each other's faces when we have to.”

I was too angry to speak. This was exactly the kind of thing I'd tried to explain to Chase when he encouraged me to make new friends. I knew I was headed for trouble with females.

“Zoe, I'm telling you what I believe God wants me to say. If you really care about Chase, you can't go bringing him down. Which is better—passion that will make him feel good for one night, or being able to smile when he gets to heaven because he knows he honored God?”

Finally, words came to my lips. “Get out of my face, Fawn. And get out of my house.”

“Your
house?” she asked. Without waiting for an answer, she grabbed her purse and strutted out the door. I slammed it as hard as I could behind her.

I turned. Shay was sitting quietly on the couch. By the time I joined her, her silent look of concern had melted my anger, and all I felt was confusion. “Do you think she's right, Shay?” I asked softly.

“What do you think?”

“I don't know.”

“You sounded pretty sure of yourself a few minutes ago.”

I shook my head. “I wasn't, but I couldn't let Fawn know I thought she might be right.” My head fell into my hands. “But Fawn's right. I've got to get out of here!” I got up, raced to my room and began throwing clothes into my suitcases. “I can't make Chase stumble. I can't be his downfall.” I kept saying those words over and over.

Shay stood in the doorway. “Couldn't you just put your thoughts about sex out of your mind for a little while?”

I stopped and looked up at her. “If I could, I would. But it's like a battle within me, and the flesh is winning. I feel things for Chase that I
never
felt for Devyn. We talk and we bond. I know he loves me.”

I sat on the bed and lowered my head. “Chase is growing in his walk with God, Shay, and my relationship with the Lord is at a standstill.”

Shay came over and sat next to me. “Well, you can do something about that, Zoe.”

“I don't know what. I don't even know if I want to grow. I feel like I'm frozen in my stance, like a solid block of ice.”

Chapter 8

P
lease let me in, Zoe,” Chase said through the hotel room door. He sounded sweet and desperate at the same time. “I know you're in there.”

I wondered how he had found me. I'd left the apartment before he came home and the only thing my note said was that I had to get away. But then, I'd called Shay. She'd made me promise to let her know that I was okay.