A Lost Kitten (20 page)

As the day went on, the feeling of defeat intensified, becoming overwhelmingly difficult to overcome. John decided to stay at Bogdan’s house. In his depressed state of mind, he believed it was best not to return to Jasira. The fates had made certain there was nothing he could do. He could not bring her back. It was best to let her go.

That night was the first night John lay in a bed in a long while. The bed was big and comfortable. Too big. It made him feel insignificant and alone. The night was warm and cozy—no need for a fire. Yet sleep eluded him. John remained awake, staring at the ceiling, longing for his other half.

Jasira stormed out of the stable and toward her house. How could John have stayed at Seeker Bogdan’s home? He knew he had medicine to take that evening. He knew she lived in the city, nowhere near Bogdan’s house.

Was that why he stayed? Was he avoiding her? He had not wanted her in his room last night. He had tried to leave without her knowledge that morning. It made sense. John’s actions shouted it was over between them. Her kindred soul did not want anything to do with her.

Jasira entered her house and started pacing, fearing the worst. Was John planning to leave Surreal without saying good-bye? Did their time together mean anything to him? How could John leave without giving their relationship a chance? Was it because she was mist, and he was solid?

Dena was solid. Before speaking to Rau, Jasira had searched the city for Dena. Her heart pounded faster the longer she went without locating her. She learned from Dena’s parents that Dena was away. If Dena was with John, Jasira was going to strangle the backstabbing traitor.

The more Jasira thought about them being together, the angrier she became. Needing a distraction, she went to the broom closet and waved her hand. It took several tries, but she finally got it to open. She willed herself to control her rage. It was interrupting her link to the planet’s energy core.

Jasira waved her hand at the broom. Nothing happened. She tried again. Nothing. The more Jasira tried, the angrier she became. She lost her temper and yelled at the broom to move. It stayed in the closet.

She unthinkingly reached for the broom. Her fingers wrapped around the handle. “I said,
move
, you piece of wood!” When she pulled her arm back, the broom went along with it. Jasira gasped and dropped the handle.

What had she done? It was impossible. The only thing she could touch was John. She waved her hand at the broom. It lay on the floor, unmoving. Jasira tentatively reached for it, her heart racing. Her fingers met the handle’s hardness. She pulled her hand back, feeling breathless. Was this really happening?

For years, she had dreamt of being solid, of being able to see her reflection, of being able to touch and lift things. She examined her hands. They were transparent mist, held together by the planet’s energy core. They seemed normal. She felt unchanged. She studied the broom. It looked the same as it always did.

Jasira carefully fingered the long wooden handle. It was solid. Smooth. Real. Her fingers curved around it. She squeezed. Her fingers stayed where they were and did not go through the wood as they normally did. Her accelerating heart began to hurt. Jasira clutched the material over her breasts in one hand while she stood with the broom in her other hand. She could not believe it. She was holding the broom.

She glanced at the dining table, wondering if what was happening was a fluke. Jasira hurried over to touch the table. The wood felt smooth and solid. She grabbed the nearest chair and manually repositioned it. A short cry of joy escaped her. Jasira dropped the broom and raced around the kitchen, touching everything she possessed. She lost herself in the different textures—rough, smooth, and the hard metallic feel of the teakettle.

Jasira ran to her bedroom, wanting to touch her mother’s quilt. The door was closed. She did not think anything of it until she crashed into the door. Dazed, it took her a moment to regain her balance. She stared at the door. What just happened?

Jasira tried to contain her excitement and mentally focused on entering her room. She walked forward. Again, she collided with the closed door. She flattened her palm against the wood. Her hand would not go through it.

Jasira grabbed the knob and turned it, opening the door like a solid person. She intently looked the door over as she entered her bedroom. Did this mean she could no longer go through solid objects? Was she close to being solid? Her excitement bubbled up within her.

Jasira hurried to her bed and lovingly fingered the quilt her mother had made her. Tears of joy fell down her cheeks. She felt a new appreciation for her parents’ efforts.

Overwhelmed, she pressed down on the mattress with her hands. She had slept on the bed for years. However, it was only an illusion. For the first time, Jasira could actually feel the mattress. She climbed onto the bed and rolled around. Is this what the others meant by soft and comfortable? She laughed. It was better than hovering over the mattress, making believe she was resting on it. The bed was sure to become one of her favorite pieces of furniture.

A thought occurred to her. She rose to her feet and started jumping on the mattress. Her joyful laughter was heard from outside.

John stepped onto the small balcony. He glanced up at the cloudless, blue sky. The day promised to be another scorcher. His gaze roamed across the land. He was not in the right frame of mind to appreciate the grassy plains and mountainside.

It was hard to believe it was Christmas Eve. It had been seven months since Daehog attacked Sea Base Ten. Being alone on this particular holiday made John long to locate his family even more. It, also, made the absence of his soulmate more profound.

He activated his translator and headed for the dining room. Bogdan and his family were gathering around the large table for breakfast. Bogdan took one look at John and paused in taking his seat.

He went around the table and placed a hand on John’s left shoulder. “Are you feeling all right? You look pale and tired.”

“I didn’t sleep last night.”

“At all?”

John shook his head. “Not one minute.”

Bogdan squeezed his shoulder. “John, I’m sure your family’s thoughts are with you. Once the ships arrive, we’ll leave immediately. Have faith.”

John looked Bogdan squarely in the eyes.

“Faith?” he snickered. “I had all the faith one person could have, and what did I get for it? I’m alone on a distant planet. My family might be gone. My empire is almost gone. And my soulmate
is
gone. Tell me, what good is having faith when you have nothing left?” He pulled out the chair and plopped down. The others stared at him. John ignored them and reached for a cup of hot tea.

Breakfast was quiet after that. Bogdan snuck side-glances at John, who barely ate anything. John was the first to leave the table. Bogdan followed him to the front door and watched him exit the house. John’s words repeated themselves in his head. He could not allow John to continue with his dejected mood. It could endanger Jasira’s chances at becoming solid. He returned to his family and quietly discussed his thoughts. After breakfast, he left for the city with his father-in-law, Gorwin.

John returned to the house after his morning jog. It seemed Bogdan had told his family the day’s significance, for they tried to make him feel like part of the family. After he bathed, the men took turns showing him around the estate.

Audra and the women in the family made a special lunch and dinner in John’s honor. He did his best to show his appreciation, but he had no appetite. Unable to endure their happy faces any longer, he excused himself and went to the room assigned to him.

John sat on the bed and removed his boots. He needed to figure out what to do next. The plans he had made while growing up had to be changed. He recalled visiting Mira after lunch. He had envisioned Mira being Jasira. The twins she carried were his offspring. Both his heart and soul had hurt so much he had to leave the room.

That dream would never come to pass. His soulmate was dead. And after being with her spirit, John knew for certain there could be no other. He would be alone for the duration of his life.

John closed his eyes and lay back on the mattress. He recalled Jasira’s wonderful fragrance. He could smell it as if she was nearby. He wondered how she reacted when she learned he had not returned to the city.

The aroma grew in strength. Audra had mentioned over dinner that she was baking vanilla cookies for dessert since they were John’s favorite. John had insisted she did not have to. It seemed she ignored him. Again.

The lines on John’s face deepened. The scent evoked memories of his time with his soulmate. It would torment him forever. He prayed the Dominion would end his suffering soon, for he could not find the desire to continue living, knowing Jasira was already on the other side.

There was a soft knock. He detected two life forces beyond the bedroom door. He did not want to speak to anyone, so he ignored it. The knock repeated. Through the layers of anguish, John realized what he was doing was rude, so he forced himself to answer the door.

Audra smiled up at him. “Merry Christmas.” She lifted the tray she carried. “I brought you vanilla cookies. Your favorite.”

John noticed that was not all she brought. Along with the cookies were a teakettle and a cup. He glanced around. “Merry Christmas. So your brother did tell you.”

Audra was alone, yet John detected a second life by the railing. His gaze narrowed. Where had the ghost come from?

“He tells me everything.” Audra smiled wider. “My gift to you is these cookies. Bogdan got you a special gift.”

John saw the twinkle in her eyes.

“It’s time for your medicine.”

John’s breath snagged. He had not told anyone he was taking medicine for his cold. His gaze whipped to the energy force. “Jasira,” he breathed.

Audra giggled. “Can we come in?”

John quickly stepped back, tripping over the door. His eyes remained on Jasira’s life force as it floated into the room.

“Jasira heard you were staying with us. She returned with my bruhder an hour ago.” Audra placed the tray on the desk beside the double French doors. “She said you were under her care for your cold. You already missed two dosages.” She lifted the kettle and poured the medicine into the teacup. “She was not about to let you miss any more. She brought the medicine with her.” Audra lowered the teakettle.

Blinking back tears, John hurried to the double doors. He pulled the curtains aside and stared out at the garden beyond the small balcony. He did not know Audra approached him with the cup. His senses were locked on Jasira, who stood beside the fireplace.

“John?” Audra held the cup out for him to take.

John looked at the cup then toward his soulmate. His core overflowed with passion and anguish. “I want her to give it to me.” His voice was barely a whisper.

Audra faced her friend. John slowly realized that Jasira’s aura was stronger than the last time he was near her, which was why he had not recognized her. Jasira neared him. John could barely breathe. Audra handed Jasira the cup and moved away from the couple. Jasira lifted the cup to John’s lips. He drank the foul liquid without tasting it. His entire focus was on the woman who had stolen his heart.

Jasira touched his left cheek. John closed his eyes. His face turned to her hand. Her touch was a soothing balm over a painful wound. Her fingers entangled themselves in his hair. They tugged him forward, downward. Blood rushed through John’s veins, roaring in his ears. He missed the sound of the bedroom door closing and the crash of the cup breaking on the floor.

Jasira’s lips were softer, warmer, more aggressive than he remembered. John groaned and eagerly responded to her demands. Jasira moved away, but he refused to end the kiss so soon. He followed, inching forward each time she stepped back, turning when she turned. He loved the way Jasira tasted, the way she met him stroke for stroke.

A second perfume filled the room, weakening him further. How could he face life without experiencing these sensations? He could not. He spoke the truth when he told Bogdan that nothing was more important than a soulmate. Jasira was his soulmate, which meant she was his life. If they could not be together, then he had no life to live.