A Little Rhine Must Fall (13 page)

Cooking, according to the dictionary, is the process of preparing food by the use of heat. I therefore “cooked” two pop-tarts for the girls. I remembered that Karen didn’t like cereal so I offered to scramble some eggs (also “cooking”).

“No eggs!” Megan replied, shocked that anyone would eat such a horrendous food.

“I wasn’t asking you,” I said grimly.

“I don’t like eggs,” she informed her aunt.

“Do they taste bad?” Karen asked her seriously.

“Yuck.” Megan made an expressive face.

Karen looked at me. “I do not want any eggs.”

Megan nodded sagely. Obviously her aunt knew what was what. “Cookies are good,” she announced, as if trying to be totally fair. “So is ice cream.”

Karen smiled. “I will have some ice cream then.”

Cassidy’s eyes got big. “for bekfes?”

I rolled my eyes. “Not in
this
house. Aunt Karen can eat whatever she wants at home, but no ice cream for breakfast here.”

Megan patted her on the shoulder. “Sorry, Aunt Karen.”

Breakfast over, Megan and Cassidy went to get a stack of books for their aunt to read to them. She sat back on the barstool and watched while I cleaned up the kitchen.

“Are you staying at Mom’s?” I asked. I still couldn’t believe that Mom hadn’t told me Karen was coming. I’d have to give her a hard time.

“I thought I would stay with you,” Karen announced.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love my sister, and, under normal circumstances, I would love to have her stay in my house. But, Mark and I were fighting, the world was about to be attacked by aliens, and I already
had
a houseguest, and an annoying one at that.

“Why don’t you stay with Mom?” I asked.

She shrugged. “I wanted to stay with you.”

I looked around. “I don’t have a guest room like Mom. You’d have to sleep on an Aero Bed.”

“That is okay.”

I had an idea. If Karen wanted to stay with me she was the perfect live-in babysitter! I could get her to spend some “quality time” with the girls tonight and Mark and I could go out to dinner.
That
would be a nice apology. And I could also tell him that I was pregnant. I’d put it off for far too long. I’d be showing soon and I wanted to be the one to surprise him, not have him guess on his own.

Karen was ok with the idea and we spent a pretty peaceful day reading to the girls and playing with them. I never got the chance to really ask her what was going on and why she had suddenly decided to visit. Naptime would have been the obvious time to catch up but Karen decided to go for a walk, which was weird. Nobody walks in the middle of the day in Florida. It had to be at least 90 degrees out there!

I called Mom. “Did you know Karen was in town?” I asked.

“What!”

“Yeah, she just showed up this morning. Why didn’t you tell me she was coming in for her birthday?”

“I didn’t know,” my mom said. “Did I? Maybe she told me and I totally forgot! Oh, I feel horrible! I mailed her present out to California! Are we going to have a party?”

Trust Mom to focus on the important stuff.

“Has Karen said anything to you lately?” I asked.

“Like what?”

“Like, oh, I don’t know, like something might be wrong?” I still couldn’t put my finger on what was bothering me.

“No, why?”

“Never mind.” Oh well. If there was something wrong I was sure Karen would tell me. “We can have a party at my house tomorrow night, if that’s okay with you and Dad and Sarah.”

“Sarah,” my mom said darkly.

I sighed. “What has she done now?” Life had gotten a lot more stressful around home ever since I made Sarah promise to never use her ability on our parents again.

“She’s talking about getting a tattoo,” my mom sighed.

I snorted. “What kind of tattoo?”

Mom sighed again. “I don’t know. She’s been hanging out with this kid from Orlando and now she’s chopped her hair off so it hangs in her face, put pink streaks in it, and is wearing these skintight jeans that do
nothing
for her figure!”

Orlando, hmm? I’d thought she was over there helping our friend, the lie detector, adjust to the knowledge of the supernatural world. It appeared that she had been less than honest with me. Surprise.

“Don’t worry, Mom,” I said absentmindedly. “I’m sure it’s just a phase. And they’re called ‘skinny jeans.’”

“I don’t care what they’re called” my mom said acerbically, “You’d have to be a stick figure for them not to make your butt look big!”

“Did you tell Sarah that?” I giggled.

“Yes, and if it’s just a phase, then getting a tattoo right now is a decision she will come to regret. Especially after your father sees it.”

“I’ll talk to her,” I promised. Thankfully, Mother couldn’t remember Sarah’s Goth phase.

“Do ya’ll want to come over for dinner tonight? Should I get the guest room ready for Karen?”

“She said she wants to stay with me and she’s going to spend time with the girls tonight while Mark and I go out to dinner.”

“Oh, how nice! Maybe I’ll come over and help out. And Piper, remember, no alcohol!” She hung up.

I frowned at the phone. No alcohol? I hadn’t told her I was pregnant. Did she know? How do moms always know these things?
I
was a mom and
I
still didn’t understand how it worked. Oh well. I was going to tell Mark tonight and then it was ok if the world knew.

I made a mental “To Do” list: Get stuff for party. Talk to Sarah about tattoos. Tell Mark about the baby. Anything else? You notice I left off anything to do with aliens or saving the world. I try to keep my goals realistic and achievable.

:Ahem:

I turned to find Bastet staring at me. “Yes?” I asked.

:We don’t mean to complain …:
Meaning that a complaint was coming.
:Otis’ cat food tastes like dirt:

I tried to raise one eyebrow and had to settle for raising both. “And?”

:We just thought you would want to know:

I smiled sweetly. “Okay. Thanks for letting me know.” I turned away.

:Piper?:

“Yes?”

:Are you going to
do
something about it?:

“Like what?”

:Like, buy him some better tasting food?:

“Why would I do that?” I was purposefully being difficult. Petty, but satisfying.

:Because …:

I did the eyebrow thing again. Practice makes perfect they say.

She blinked.
:Piper. We would really appreciate it if you could get
us
some better cat food:

I grinned. Victory! I could afford to be magnanimous. “I’ll get you some better cat food. What do you like?”

:We have a recipe for organic …:
She correctly read the look on my face and said humbly, :
Fancy Feast?:

I nodded. I could add “Get cat food” to the “To Do” list, but I was not
cooking
cat food. I hardly cooked
people
food.

Speaking of food, I was starving. I felt lightheaded I was so hungry. Opening the fridge I looked at my options. Nope. Nope. Yuck. Nope. I looked in the pantry. Igh. Nothing looked good. I pulled out a box of Oreo cookies. Much better. I was eating for two now. I deserved to eat sugar, carbs, and fat.
Everyone
knows that cookies are an important part of a babies’ brain development. I was sacrificing for my child.

Feeling very self-righteous and getting a surge of energy from the cookies, I threw in a load of laundry, washed up the lunch dishes, and even thought about ironing some of Mark’s shirts. Lucky for me that thinking about it counts, so I decided to leave them for another day (aka “never”).

Megan and Cassidy woke up before Karen got back from her walk (where was she walking to? Timbuktu?) and I fed them a healthy and nutritious snack. All right, I gave them each a bag of fruit snacks. It’s fruit
and
a snack, right? It
has
to be healthy.

Karen finally got back from her walk and I had just enough time to go freshen up and change clothes before Mark got home and we headed out on our date. He acted pleasantly surprised to see Karen and told her she was welcome to stay as long as she liked.

“How long
are
you in town for?” I asked.

She shrugged. “I do not know. Awhile.”

“We’re thrilled to have you stay with us,” Mark assured her. I shot him a quick look. Did he really mean that or was he just being polite? And didn’t he think there was something weird about her showing up out of the blue and having no return date? I was probably making a mountain out of a molehill, but it happens to be my specialty.

Mom pulled in the drive as we were pulling out and I gave her a wave as we passed. There was silence in the car. The tension from this morning was back.

“Sooo,” Mark said.

“Soo,” I repeated.

“Where do you want to go for dinner?”

“I don’t know. Wherever is fine.” More silence. I decided to apologize in the car and tell him about the baby over dinner. That way it wouldn’t seem like I was using my pregnancy hormones as an excuse for my bad attitude.

“I’m really sorry, Mark!” I blurted out. “I don’t know what came over me this morning. It was a stupid fight and I wasn’t being fair. I don’t even know why I was mad at you! I was just mad and trying to make you mad too.”

Mark pulled into the Outback parking lot and stopped the car. “Piper,” he said, taking my hand, “I love you more than anyone in the world. I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met and you only look more beautiful to me every day. I’m sorry I walked out in the middle of the fight.”

“No, it was my fault,” I argued. “I was being silly.”

“Well then, let’s agree to forgive each other and enjoy the rest of our evening.”

He was surprised when I agreed to ordering a Bloomin’ Onion and then more surprised when I ordered a huge steak. I must be having a boy. Usually I am chicken person all the way, no red meat. But tonight I was craving a big hunk of cow.

When the waiter came around to ask about dessert, Mark was about to say “no” when he saw my face. “Yes?” he asked.

“Definitely!”

“Are you all right?” he asked. I guess I was acting out of character. Now would be a good time to tell him my news.

I took his hands in mine. “I’m eating for two,” I said.

“I can see that—” he retorted before it clicked. “Two? As in …?”

A huge grin split my face. “We’re going to have another baby!”

“Really!?”

“Yup,” I patted my belly, which was still flat (Thank you very much, Carolyn).

His smile was even bigger than mine.

*****

The next day passed in a whirl. Karen watched the kids while I went grocery shopping for party food, cleaned the house, put up streamers and balloons, and baked a cake. I kept meaning to find time to see how she was doing, but there was always just one more load of laundry to fold, or dishes to put away, or a diaper to change. I promised myself that we would sit down and chat tonight after everyone went home.

At six o’clock the guests started to arrive. It was going to be a small party since it was so last minute. Just Mom, Dad, and Sarah, and a couple of Karen’s old friends and their spouses and children. Enough people that the house felt crowded and you had to talk loudly to be heard, but not so many that you couldn’t mingle and visit with everyone. Cecily managed to “just happen to drop by” and got invited to stay for cake and ice cream. What a coincidence.

The kids were running around, bouncing off the walls and having a great time. I had to pull Cassidy off the counter where her grandfather was trying to let her stick her fist in the cake, (“Don’t be such a spoil-sport, Piper! She wants to taste the icing!”), broke up a fight between Megan and another little girl (“You can
both
be Cinderella”), and tried to keep Harvey from eating everything that dropped on the ground.

Mark made the announcement that we were pregnant again and there was applause and hugs from the women, and sly winks and elbowing from the men. Mom told everyone that she had already guessed, “She has that
glow
about her!” And Sarah awkwardly patted me on the back and congratulated me on having another “rug rat.”

Pretty soon it was cake time. We gathered around and sang “Happy Birthday” in about three different simultaneous keys, and Karen blew out the candles. My phone rang as I was going to get more paper plates.

“I’ll get the plates,” Mark offered.

I slipped into the bedroom to answer the phone, pulling the door halfway closed to try and shut out some of the noise.

“Hello?” I said.

“Piper! I’ve been waiting for your call all day! Nobody calls me on my birthday anymore?” the voice was lightly teasing.

My heart stopped. It was Karen.

Chapter Twelve:

Karen?

“I wanted to be sure I could say ‘hi’ to my little nieces and hear them sing me Happy Birthday,” the voice went on in the phone.

I wasn’t listening. It couldn’t be! Could it? I stuck my head out the door and watched Karen dig into a piece of cake. Her voice kept on chatting in the phone. Surreal.

Cecily appeared in my face with vampire speed. “We need to talk,” she mouthed.

I held up a finger. “Not now,” I mouthed back.

“Yes, now,” she insisted.

I held a hand over the phone speaker and glared at Cecily. “We’ve got a little problem here,” I hissed.

“Tell me about it,” she hissed right back. “Your sister
smells
wrong!”

Oh. A meow at my feet made me look down.
:The bloodsucker is correct. We do not think that your sister is human:

Oh.

Crap.

In the kitchen, Karen and Sarah were leaning in together, mouths open for a bite of cake, posing for a picture. My mom was laughing and wiping off Cassidy’s icing mustache. Dad was serving up cake and ice cream. Mark was chatting with another man. And Karen wasn’t human. No. Worse.
That
wasn’t Karen.

“Piper? Piper? Are you there?” the voice in the phone brought me back out of shock.