A Little New Year's Romance (6 page)

She dabbed her perfectly shaped lips with the linen napkin. “I don’t know, Daniel. I mean, you’re a great person, but we’ve only known each other for a little more than a day.” She looked down at her plate. “Besides, my life is a mess right now. I really don’t need anything else tossed into the mix.”

“You’re a beautiful woman, Allison.” He paused, and she lifted her head. She appeared to be ready to say something, but he continued. “Maybe you don’t think so, but you truly are. I don’t mean just on the outside. I saw it in you today.” Another pause. “Besides, Dylan really likes you, too.”

A tender smile lifted the corners of her mouth. “He’s a great kid. I can see why you adore him.”

He felt his lips try to match hers. “Yeah. I can’t help it. Everything I do is for my son. I know it may sound strange, but he’s the reason I haven’t gone crazy.”

“I can only imagine what you went through.”

“Well, it would be a lie if I said it was easy. Honestly, I almost lost my faith because of it. I wanted to be mad at God for taking Jenny from me, but then I saw my newborn son. I couldn’t ignore such a miracle.”

She was silent for several moments. Her struggle with the Lord had been a long one, so he allowed her the time to digest what he’d said. When she finally did speak, it was nothing at all like he thought she’d say.

“So tell me. How often do you come across people fighting with God, or blaming Him for the way their lives are?”

“A lot more than you’d probably think. Why do you ask?”

She sat back in her chair. “I guess I had this feeling that He singled me out to punish for some odd reason. I never once thought there might be so many others who felt the same.”

“This may surprise you, but everyone who goes through this seems to think the same thing—that God was purposely penalizing
only
them. But that’s not the way the Lord works. Not at all.”

Her storm-cloud eyes seemed to glaze over. “Okay, can we stop the sermon before it gets started? I don’t know if I’m ready for that just yet.”

The muscles in his face insisted on forming a grin. “I wasn’t planning on doing that. Just wanted to feed your brain and your stomach at the same time.”

“Seems like I’ve had enough food for my head today.”

“Yeah. I suppose you have.”

She was right. Maggie had helped her understand the breakthrough she’d made, but that wasn’t all there was to it. Allison needed time to struggle through it, and he didn’t want to add to her burden. It had built up over a long period of time, and her fight probably wasn’t going to be an easy one. He simply wanted to be there to help her, no matter what kind of assistance she’d need.

With that in mind, he allowed the hush that ensued until their plates were empty and the waiter had taken their dessert orders. He could only imagine what was going on in her mind. Her eyes showed that the machinery was churning at maximum speed, trying to make sense of what she’d learned today.

Their slices of apple pie had arrived before she finally broke the silence, changing the subject. “So, how did you get involved in this charity?”

Should he tell her the entire story? He’d revealed his involvement to the many people he recruited, but never told anyone why he got into it. Was Allison the one he should divulge the story to?

He noted the expectancy in her eyes, and knew he had to say something—anything—while he made up his mind whether to tell her the full story.

“Well, I went on a search for a way to spend some of my spare time. That’s how I found the food drive.” Okay, so he was being flippant. Maybe she wouldn’t catch on.

~~*~~

Allison couldn’t decide if he was joking or being truthful. Maybe there was there a bit of both in his last statement. Whatever it was, he seemed to be stalling, as if he didn’t want to talk about it.

“We can talk about something else, if this is uncomfortable for you.” She offered him a way out.

“No. It’s okay. I’ve never had anyone ask me about it, so I’m just not sure how to answer.”

That seemed reasonable, but she persisted. “Are you sure? I was just suggesting a subject to discuss. I don’t have to know.”

“I don’t mind talking about it. Honestly.” His eyes reflected his words. “I was trying to figure out where to start. That’s all.”

She tried to form an understanding smile. “Okay, then. As long as you’re not uncomfortable about telling it, I’ll be happy to listen.”

He inhaled deeply. “My father was in the Army when he met my mother, but he didn’t make a lot of money. When I was about five years old his enlistment was up and we moved here so Dad could find a job with better pay.” He paused, taking a sip of his wine. “That didn’t work out too well.”

“You were living like the people you deliver these boxes to, weren’t you?”

“Yeah.” His gaze went to his half-eaten pie. “When I was eleven, the Gulf War broke out and Dad re-enlisted. By then, the pay was a little higher, but Mom was scared he wouldn’t return alive—and he didn’t.”

She watched the moisture build up in his eyes, reached across the table, and took his hand. His head snapped up as if her gesture had shocked him. Maybe it had. The electricity she’d felt yesterday was there again.

He tried to smile, but it faltered, though she wasn’t sure if it was due to her touch or the emotions she saw raging in his eyes. She had an inkling both were to blame.

“You don’t have to say any more if you don’t want to.” She’d seen this man shed tears earlier in the day, and didn’t want to be the cause of a repeat performance.

He retrieved his hand, and wiped his eyes as well as he could with his palms. “No. It’s okay. I guess I need to talk about it.” A handkerchief appeared in his hand—presumably from his pocket—and he wiped his nose. “Luckily for us, Dad had somehow found a way to get a good life insurance policy to make sure Mom and I weren’t left penniless. I never knew anything about it until I finished high school. Mom did the best she could with her widow’s pension from the Army, but we had to rely on the kindness of others many times, too.”

Allison stopped him momentarily. “Wait. What happened to the insurance check?”

He chuckled. “She saved it because she wanted me to go to college. So that’s what I did.”

“Very smart mother you have.” She winked.

His smile turned melancholy. “Had. Mom died from a heart attack almost five years ago.”

She didn’t know how to respond to that, but she hoped her eyes conveyed the sympathy she felt.

“Dylan’s all I have left now. If I can’t find a way to treat his illness, I’ll lose him, too.”

Her hand found his again. “You won’t lose him.” Where did those words come from? Didn’t matter now. She’d spoken them, and in a deep part of her heart she knew they were true.

“More than anything else, that’s the one thing I pray for.” The deep emotion was evident.

A few seconds ticked by. “To be honest, Daniel, I don’t know why I said that. It just came out of me.”

He simply held her gaze for several moments. She couldn’t help wondering what was going on in his mind, though his eyes showed his appreciation for her earlier words.

“Doesn’t matter why. I’m just glad you did. I must’ve needed to hear it.”

The silence returned as they both finished their pie. He still hadn’t given the answer to her question, however. She was still interested.

“So, the reason you became involved with the food drive was to help give back. Is that right?”

CHAPTER SEVEN

He couldn’t help admiring her tenacity in getting to the root of something. After all he’d told her, she was still seeking a direct answer to the question that had led to his trip through the fields of his memory.

“Yep. That’s it, exactly.”

She seemed to ponder that for several moments. “I guess that makes sense. But you said you hunted for it. What brought you to that particular church’s food drive?”

A tiny grin forced itself upon his lips. “I’d heard of a national organization, so I looked up a branch here in New York. I was hoping my church would be involved, but it turned out to be one in the Bronx. Didn’t really matter where it was, I just knew that’s what I wanted to do.”

“Any particular reason you wanted to be part of the national program and not a local one?”

“Before I answer that, you should know that I hold nothing against locally arranged food programs. What drew me to the larger one is the fact that their budget allows for some nationwide advertising on TV. This brings the need into the minds of larger numbers of people. The more people who know of it, the more donations that come in, and the more people we can help. It’s that simple.”

“Okay, I see now. You just want to help as many folks as you can.” She paused for a beat. “But I don’t get why you feel the need to reach out to as vast a number as you possibly can.”

He felt his eyebrows knit together as he tilted his head. “I’m not sure what you’re pushing for.” He thought he knew, but wanted to hear it from her.

“I don’t mean any offense, but I wonder if you’re doing as much as you can in order to build up a larger reward later.”

“A bigger Heavenly reward? Is that what you mean?” He tried to keep his tone neutral.

“Well… yeah, I guess.”

He couldn’t suppress the tiny gurgling chuckle. “No. That’s not it at all. My motivation is to thank God for everything He’s given me. The more people I help, the more I’m thanking Him. That’s all there is to it.”

“After all the troubles you’ve had in life, you want to thank Him? I just don’t get it.”

“What I’m grateful for is that I was given the opportunity to have such great parents, a special wife, and a son—all of whom gave me more love than I ever knew was possible. I give thanks for all the difficulties also, because having found my way through them, I’ve become the person I am today.”

Allison remained silent, seeming to mull over his words in her mind.

Soon, the waiter brought the check, and Daniel paid it with a credit card, leaving a generous tip. She remained quiet until they were in his Lexus, only speaking to tell him her address so he could drive her home.

What was going on inside that beautiful head of hers? Yes, he knew she was having issues with her faith, so he didn’t want to interrupt the process she was going through. This was nothing new to him. He’d seen it happen over and over again. But this time—with Allison—it was likely to take some time to come to fruition.

A part of him couldn’t stop wanting to hasten her journey, to spare her some of the hardship she was certain to endure. But that wasn’t why their paths crossed. He was a messenger, and she was the recipient. The only thing he could do now was to be there for her when she needed him.

~~*~~

How was it possible for him to be that grateful to God for everything he’d been through. Okay, she could see the part about all the people who loved him. But to be thankful for the hardships because they helped mold him into the man he is today? That part didn’t make a lot of sense. It seemed more logical that without them, he’d probably be a better person. Wouldn’t he?

The more she thought about it, the less rational it seemed. In fact, it downright confounded her.

By the time she decided to stop torturing herself to figure it out, she realized Daniel had pulled up in front of her apartment building. How did he know where she lived? She must have told him, but she didn’t remember doing so.

He’d asked her a question, but she hadn’t heard all of it.

“I’m sorry. What was that? I must’ve been deep in thought.”

He gave a small chuckle. “I asked if you’d like to help deliver the food boxes tomorrow. I can pick you up at eight in the morning.”

“Oh. Sure. Eight will be fine.” Her mind still felt foggy. Was it her imagination, or did he slightly move toward her as if he had something on his mind—like maybe he wanted to kiss her goodnight? He probably hadn’t, but with the state she was in at the moment, she wouldn’t even know if he actually did it or not.

She attempted a grateful smile, but the air in the car seemed to become heavy and oppressing. Why did she need to open the door in order to breathe?

Stepping onto the curb, she closed the car door, and waved at him before he drove off. Did he wave back at her? She thought he did, but wasn’t sure.

Once inside her apartment—coat hung on its peg next to the door—her thoughts turned to how selfishly he gave himself to his charity of choice. It was oddly interesting that he wanted nothing in return. All he wanted was to give thanks to the Lord for everything? None of this was computing in her brain. There had to be something that he’d omitted, some fact he was keeping from her.

There was a way for her to find out, though.

She made her way across the living room to the small desk in the corner, turned on her laptop, and went into the kitchen for a glass of milk while she waited for the computer to boot up.

Within minutes, she accessed her favorite search engine and entered his name. Literally thousands of articles were at her fingertips in seconds. She delved into them, seeking out anything she could find that would explain her confusion.

The very first thing she read threw her mind into a tailspin. Daniel Trotter was a millionaire! One of the newest real estate moguls in the city, having made his first million almost four years earlier. Was that it? The missing piece? If so, where did it fit into the puzzle?

Almost every newspaper had article after article extolling his ‘rags to riches’ story. Yes, he’d told her about the rags part, but neglected to mention the riches. Every detail he’d told her about—his parents, previous wife, Dylan—was covered, so he hadn’t lied about any of that.

Wait! Was it possible he was involved in the national food drive to help boost his image as a caring businessman?

But how could that be when he seemed so genuine? So what if he failed to mention he was wealthy? What did that prove? Well, except that maybe he didn’t think it should matter.

Going back through the articles, she noticed a glaring absence of any mention of his charity work. How was it feasible that the media didn’t know about this? Maybe Daniel had gone to great lengths to be sure they hadn’t been informed. But if that was true, then why would he do that?