A Little Bit of Us (27 page)

    
So warm, need to pee. I check the digital clock on my bedside table. It’s four thirty in the morning.

     Fuck. That definitely wasn’t a twinge, that really fucking hurts. My entire lower stomach is clenching and tightening. It’ll pass… it’s not real. Right?

     I take a few deep breaths and pad into the bathroom to do my business. Then I pad back into the room and sit on the bed, James is still sleeping. He looks so peaceful. I shouldn’t wake him.

     Four minutes pass and I feel it building. Oh dear god. That really hurts, it’s manageable though. I can handle this. Just lay down and go to sleep for a little longer.

     Laying down I turn on my side, James instantly wraps around me. I’ve missed my tentacle monster. With slow deep breaths the pain releases and I’m once again ok, although I am feeling a little nauseous, and hungry.

     Just shut your eyes and sleep Maya. I find myself dozing between a state of awareness and the land of nod. Hell, I miss Numbland.

     “AH!” I cry out, I can’t help it. My breath becomes labored, my mind instantly working my lungs as it tries to control the pain in my lower abdomen. James instantly jolts up. “Time.”

     “Time?”

     “What time is it?” I check the clock. I must have dozed off. It’s almost six in the morning. “Shit. It’s time.”

     “Time?”

     I narrow my eyes at him, “Are you fucking stupid? It’s time. I’m in labor.” I swear, if I’m not I will freak. “Ow, ow, ow.” Here comes another.

     “
MOM!” James shouts a little frantically and starts pulling on clothes. Sylvia dashes into the room fully clothed, her hair in a mess around her face, she already has her coat on. “I heard her the first time she shouted. I’m ready.”

     “I’m glad you two are ready, I’m still in my nightgown,” I laugh a little. They both rush around and help me pull on sweats and a vest. James shoves my shoes onto my feet and follows me into the bathroom. Whilst I brush my teeth another sharp pain tears through me. I hum and breath
e through it, my toothbrush gripped between my clenched teeth. James bless him starts finishing my teeth for me before doing his own. Sylvia quickly does her hair and shoves mine into a messy bun. “Let the others know. They’ll be pissed if you don’t.”

     James sends a group message and calls DJ who requests to speak to me directly. I put the phone to my ear, “Hello.”

     “Maya, how are we doing?”

     “Not too bad.” AHHHHH! “Ok,” I grit out mid contraction. “Maybe, a lot bad. But the in between is a good relief.”

     “Stay on the phone, I want to time your next contraction.” So we sit, he waits, listens to my breathing, and times the next two. “Ok. Go to the hospital. Maternity ward. I’ll meet you there.”

     Three minutes apart and starting to feel a little pressure but it’s honestly not that bad yet. Of course it hurts but it’s not so painful where I want to numb it all.

     James drives like a madman
to the hospital. It’s rather fun, kind of like being on a rollercoaster that doesn’t go upside down. I find the swerving rather relaxing. Sylvia rubs my back for me the entire way, this also helps.

     DJ greets us as soon as we step onto the labor ward. I’m so relieved to see him I almost hug him. He’s in blue scrubs, not his normal attire and takes us straight to a private room
. It has a bed on one side and a large round bath on the other, it’s really cozy and warm. It even has tea and coffee making facilities. I get struck with another contraction as soon as we enter the room. James stands behind me as I bend over the bed and rubs my back.

    I take back what I said before. I’m really, really not enjoying this.
Sylvia is grinning from ear to ear, James just looks like he’s about to shit himself with worry and DJ is casually whistling the mission impossible theme tune which really isn’t helping. I tell him as such which only makes him laugh and flick my ear. He just flicked me!

     DJ then goes on to fill the tub, I watch the steam rise as hot water shoots from the
tap. James helps me dress into a bikini, the top part is a red vest that goes over my belly, and the bottoms are just red hot pants that will most likely be coming off soon.

     “Come on baby,” James breathes softly in my ear, I’m literally clinging to him like a lifeline. Oh man this hurts. “Deep breaths.”

     “I don’t like this,” I whimper as the contraction subsides. “Can’t you just pull it out?”

     DJ shakes his head and motions for me to lay back. Off go the panties, I literally have zero modesty right now. “I’m going to check you to see how dilated you are.”

     James kisses my forehead. I feel DJ’s hand tug at my inside and bite my lip to stifle the cry. Fuck, that really fucking hurts. “Ouch! Dude, do you have to pull?”

     He just chuckles again, that’s really infuriating. “You are five centimeters dilated. Half way there Maya. You can do this.” He covers me up with the thin hospital blanket. My eyes catch the little plastic cot in the corner, it has a contraption of some sort going above it, that looks like it may light it up or something. They showed us one of these in class. I think they weigh the baby on it and such. “Do you want to get in the pool for a bit now?”

    I shake my head, “No, but I really feel like I need to push.”

    “You don’t need to push, you’re only five centimeters.”

     I’m fucking serious, “There’s a lot of pressure going on down there.”

     “Ok, let’s see what happens.”

      I don’t just scream, I growl and squeeze James’ hand as another contraction rips through me, and another and another. Then I go for it, DJ holds a cloth of some sort between my legs. Is Sylvia filming this? Fuck that hurts. It won’t stop clenching, need relief.

      There’s a pop, a splash and wow, the pressure is gone. James starts laughing, like really laughing. I glance up and look at DJ who is unfortunately covered from his
shoulders to his hips in my waters. They fucking projectile! I did not know this.

     “Sorry,” I say breathlessly and fall back. “Can I get in the pool now?”

     “Don’t worry, I should have been better prepared, this isn’t the first time it’s happened.” James is still laughing when DJ’s helper, another midwife called Georgia enters the room with a friendly smile. She takes one look at DJ and starts laughing with James.

     “Should’ve aimed a bit higher,” she winks at me with pretty blue eyes and helps me step into the water. It’s a little hotter than I’d like but the relief is amazing.

     “No, no,” I cry and bite down on the plastic in my mouth before sucking in a lungful of gas. It does little more than make me dizzy and make my voice sound funny. “FUCK!”

     James kneels on a cushion on the floor behind where I’m sat in the pool with my legs spread wide open and my head back. Sylvia is still filming but has promised not to get my foof in any of the shots. Although she apparently got a good side shot of the projectile waters.

     “Come on baby,” James says, he’s no longer concerned but giddy as a clown.

     “Stop telling me to come on. And I swear if you tell me to calm down one more time I will chew your face off!” I growl and that build up comes again. “No… I want the epidural.” I can’t take this. It tears through me as I puff on this useless fucking air. “I can’t… make it stop.”

     “Breathe Maya,” Georgia says soothingly.

     “I want to get out of this pool, I’m not comfy,” I cry. I feel weak and delirious and tired. DJ comes over and turns me so my forehead is against James’ chest. I’m on my knees, my lower half under water. This actually feels a lot better. “Thank you.”

     Then I feel Georgia prodding at my entrance. Oh god. She warned me but I’m too tired to reply. This hurts so fucking bad! Another comes straight after the first, I no longer feel her hand.

     “She’s fully dilated,” Georgia grins at James who kisses my forehead. Sylvia gets closer and puts her hand on James’ shoulder. “DJ. It’s time.”

     “I hate you for this,” I mumble to James. “Really fucking hate you.”

     He just smiles wider as if I told him the total opposite. I mean it too. I’ll never forgive him for this pain.
I want to squeeze his balls and… how long have I been here? Like, three hours? I know I’ve been in and out of the bath a few times, had the baby’s heart rate checked and such. I ask DJ. Apparently I’ve been here five hours and all of our friends are waiting outside.

    
Yay. Not.

      “I need to push,”
fuck that hurts. It burns, it really stings. I push down as if pooping like instructed, it really does feel like I’m pooping in a way, gross, I better not actually poop. I concentrate fully on that, I don’t concentrate on anything else. My screams can probably be heard all the way to China. They keep telling me not to scream, to just push. I tell them all to piss off. I’ll scream as loud as I fucking want if it makes me feel better.

    “Oh my god, I can see the head,” James laughs excitedly and kisses my forehead. “Baby. The heads out.”

     “I’m pushing here,” I snap and wave away their suggestions to look at the head between my legs. No thank you. I watched that woman giving birth on that video and almost fainted. Hell if I want to see myself pushing out a giant bubble.

     Then DJ says something that freaks me out entirely, “Get ready to catch.” WHAT?

     His arms are submerged in the water which is now a little pink. Another contraction comes and with a tiny push the shoulders pop out followed by a strange slimy thing which I assume is the body, I feel a sharp sting and suddenly I’m being flipped over and something is being thrust into my arms. Then it begins, the most beautifully frightening sound I’ve ever heard. My mind comes back into the room and I realize I’m looking down upon the most gorgeous yet distressed gunky and purple face I’ve ever seen.

     “She’s all gooey,” is the first thing I say as the little girl wails in my arms.

     James is staring down at her, his head resting on my shoulder. I feel something warm hit my shoulder, turning my head I see him crying with the largest smile on his face.

     “Come on daddy, let’s cut the cord,” DJ slaps him on the back. Sylvia zooms in on James as he takes the scissors to the ugly tube thing and cuts.

     “She has my nose,” I sob. And she does, she actually has my nose. “She’s so perfect.” My heart soars and sings with instant love, with an instant connection too strong to put into words. Then she’s taken from my arms and carried over to the now lit up cot. I have to push out the placenta as DJ checks the baby. I won’t go into detail about this part… it’s disgusting.

     “Seven pounds and four ounces,” he shouts out and wraps her up. “She’s perfectly healthy.”

     I’m helped out of the bath and wrapped in a warm white fluffy towel. Georgia leads me over to the clean bed. She even puts a pad in some of my lady boxers and helps me to put them on. DJ goes to hand her to me but I shake my head and point to James. I need a moment and so does he.

     Sylvia who is stood beside me, is not only sobbing her eyes out but is also still filming. That takes skill.

    
I watch James as the little pink bundle is placed into his arms. I watch him carefully balance her on one arm so he can use his other to stroke her face. He starts crying again, or maybe he never stopped but the smile that brightens his face is a new one, it’s one solely for her. They rock side to side, the little girl no longer crying but squeezing his finger in her tiny hand and snoozing softly. My eyes burn, I don’t fight it, I let the emotion take over. How could I have not wanted this?

     James catches my eye and smiles
my smile at me, one full of so much love and respect. “I love you,” he mouths and looks back to his daughter. He stops suddenly and gasps, it has me panicking until he smiles and walks over. “She has your eyes.” Sure enough the little pink bundle has the unique violet color that I myself was blessed with from birth. “She’s perfect Maya.” He lifts her to his lips and kisses each of her tiny eyebrows. Georgia hands him a tissue, he takes it and wipes his eyes completely unashamed of his tears.

     “Let’s try breastfeeding then,” DJ announces and rubs his hands together.

     It’s not the most comfortable feeling in the world having hard gums latch onto your sensitive nipple and start sucking but it’s not the worst feeling either. James laughs at the face I pull
and lays down beside me on the bed to help me get her situated. The whole latching on part was harder than I thought it would be but now I’ve done it once it’s not so hard. As instructed I swap boobies every so often. He says it’s a good way to stop my tubes getting clogged. I love how he explains everything in a way I can understand and a way that keeps me interested.

    
James kisses my forehead for the millionth time since laying with me. His finger lightly tickles our little girl’s hand. I feel something warm seep through the blanket. “She just peed on me.” Yet I’m still smiling. “That is so gross.” But in a way, it’s really not.