A Life Without Fear (Life #2) (13 page)

“I’m game, happy hour at the Mexican food place down the street from me?”

“Sounds good, I’ll be there in fifteen.”

“See you there.”

Hailing a cab, I sit back and watch the city speed by. The weather is perfect. It’s so cold the snow will likely come any day now. Rodger loved the snow so much. I bought him snow boots one year and God did he hate them. He looked so adorable, though, it was worth it for the pictures I managed to get. It’s nice to think about him now and not cry. I miss him like crazy, but I am glad I at least got the time I did with him. Having been so lost in my thoughts, I didn’t realize we were pulling up at the restaurant. I see Joey looking dapper standing outside waiting for me. Waving when he sees me, he comes to open my door and he hands a twenty at the cabbie.

“Thank you, kind sir.”

“You’re welcome, ma’am.” I slap him on the arm, he knows I hate that word.

We walk arm in arm into the restaurant.

We order our meals and a pitcher of margaritas, and while we wait we eat chips and salsa. Joey seems out of it, so much has happened thanks to his wretched mom, I hope he can snap out of it.

“Look Ang, before we get into it I want you to know I’m sorry for being an asshole. I had a lot of shit hit the fan all at once and I freaked the fuck out. I’ve made some mistakes that I wish I could take back but, unfortunately, the world isn’t so kind.” He takes a few gulps of his margarita. “I told Liam I slept with that slut and now he won’t speak to me. I deserve it. I don’t even know why I slept with her. I don’t find her attractive in the least and she’s fucking rude beyond words. It’s almost like I knew it would ruin the one good thing I had so I did it, I ruined it before someone else could ruin it for me.” He won’t make eye contact with me, I know he’s just venting more for himself than for me, so I sit back and just listen. “I really like him, Ang. Out of everything that’s going wrong right now, he’s what I’m most hurt about. I don’t care about my fucking joke of a mother, I don’t care about the canvas art, nothing. I’m mad I hurt him. That’s the real kicker too. I hurt him, no one else. Just me.” He raises his glass to me. “Cheers to the royal fuck up that I am. Also to my cunt of a mother for trying to ruin me.” I shake my head but raise my glass to his.

“If Liam means that much to you Joey then you need to fight for him. Telling him you fucked up is one thing, showing him how remorseful you are and that you will do anything to right your wrong is another.” I reach for his hand across the table and give it a squeeze. “You’ve got to fix this baby boy, you deserve happiness and maybe he’s that happiness you need.”

The waiter brings us our entrees and we both barely pick at it, our minds elsewhere.

“JoJo, this too shall pass. Have faith things will get better, I promise.”

“You can’t promise me that, Ang,” he replies.

“No, I can’t, but in the grand scheme of things this is just a blip on the radar. Things could always be worse. You’re not sick or dying, you’re not homeless or poor. You’ve got so much more to be thankful for, don’t forget that.”

“Why are you being so nice to me after how I treated you?” he asks.

“Come on, you know we do this shit to each other. Was I not the one being a bitch not too long ago? We are diva’s it’s what we do. It’s why we are so good together, we alternate who’s going to be the bigger drama queen each day,” I say to him with a giggle.

“It’s true. You can be a royal pain in my fine ass.” He winks at me.

“There's my JoJo. Now let’s eat, drink, and be merry shall we?”

“We shall.”

With that, the tension is gone and my best friend is back. We enjoy our meal and sip our margaritas. We talk about his modeling and how he has a shoot in Texas right before Christmas. It’s perfect timing because I can go with him and we’ll go to the ranch afterward. We discuss Thanksgiving plans. We decide on dinner at my place, and he asks if he could bring Sammy his best friend and possibly Liam. Of course, it’s fine I tell him and mention that I’ll ask Blake what his plans are. We go over the menu a little, him making demands on which pies I am to make for dessert—we both agree to call Betty and have her send us some. After dinner, Joey hails me a taxi and we say our goodbyes. My taxi ride home is short and I’m putting my purse on the hall table when I hear my phone ring. The ringtone says it all, it’s Blake.

“Hello, Blake.”

“Angelica.”

“Are you back in the city?” I ask.

“I am stuck in traffic leaving the airport, but I’m back. I called to ask if I could pick you up in about thirty minutes. Unfortunately, Gracie won’t be able to join us today, her mother said she’s grounded for pulling someone’s hair at school today.”

“Oh boy, that’s not good.”

“No, it isn’t. We think she’s acting out because of Jon, we’re hoping it will pass quickly.”

“I’ll be ready, I just got home actually.”

“Wonderful, I’ll see you shortly.”

Hanging up, I sit on the couch to wait for him. I wonder what’s going on with Jon. I don’t want to ask and be rude, but I’m so incredibly curious as to what’s happening. When I first met him at the meeting in the office, he seemed so professional and composed. What’s happened to have changed him? A knock at the door turns my attention away from Jon and when I open the door, there stands Blake. He’s wearing faded jeans with leather boots, a button up shirt underneath a dark tan coat. His smile is the most breathtaking thing he wears. Wrapping my arms around him, I embrace his body in a tight hug. He lifts me up off the ground and spins me in a circle.

“I should go out of town more often,” he whispers into my ear.

“No, you shouldn’t. How did your trip go?” I ask as he puts me back on my feet.

“It went well, better than expected actually. Let’s head over to
Frozen Deserts
and I’ll tell you all about it.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Turning around I grab my purse, lock up the house, and follow him to his car—no Adam I notice. Once we start driving, I play with his radio and hit shuffle on his Pandora app. Death Cab For Cutie begins to play through the speakers, their song, ‘
I Will Follow You Into The Dark’
it’s entirely fitting to our situation. I feel like Blake has followed me into this crappy life of mine. He’s never hesitated with anything either when it comes to me, he’s jumped in head first and treaded water right there along with me.

I just love music. The lyrics always seem to fit into everyday situations, well at least with me they do. We arrive a short time later, walking into the desert shop hand-in-hand, and we order our frozen yogurt then sit in our normal booth in the corner of the room.

“I’m sad Gracie couldn’t join us.”

“As am I, but I have to respect Alicia’s decisions.”

“Oh, of course, I would never think otherwise. She is her mother after all.”

“Yes she is, Gracie is lucky to have her, especially with what’s going on with Jon right now.” He takes a bite of his frozen yogurt then continues with his train of thought. “Jon didn’t always used to be like this, he used to be a very respectable man. But after the divorce his mindset changed. He was all about women and his money, he basically has forgotten his core values, his family, and his business. Anytime we’d try to intervene and direct him back to the right track he’d just get angry and not talk to us for a few days. My parents took it very personally. They felt then and even now that this is their fault, that somehow they have failed him as parents.”

“Oh Blake, that’s simply not true.”

“I know and I tell them that often, but they already have it stuck in their head.” He takes another bite of his yogurt. “When he hit Alicia we’ve all had enough of his nonsense. We were raised to never lay a hand on a woman, and he has more respect than that. At least we thought he did. What kind of man hits a woman? I was tempted to hit him to give him a taste of his own medicine, but the look on my mom’s face, when we met him, was punishment enough. We had an intervention of sorts with him. Alicia didn’t press any charges but did ask that he relinquish his portion of custody of Gracie as a result. She doesn’t trust him around her daughter, for that we can’t fault her. Jon was pissed off that we were supporting her and not him. But how could we support him? You saw the way he followed us drunk. Gracie does not need to see her father in that light. Anyway, that’s why I was in Vegas. Jon wanted to open a club out there for a very long time, and this seemed like the perfect timing for him to go and busy himself with a massive project. I helped him find the right location then he took it all from there. The city might not be the best place for him to be, but the business will keep him on his toes. He’ll have to prove himself to get his daughter back, and it’s all on him now. I’ve had enough of Jon’s shit. Quite frankly, I’m glad he’s far away from New York.”

“He’s very lucky to have such a supportive family.”

“He is, I hope he gets his life back in order. If not for himself then at least for Gracie. Every little girl deserves a father.”

We eat some more of our frozen yogurt in silence, much like at dinner with Joey I lost my appetite, so much going on in the life of those around me. I swear if it’s not my life going to shit, it’s someone close to me. Desperate to change the subject I ask Blake about his Thanksgiving plans.

“I’m going to prepare a Thanksgiving dinner at my house, I’m sure you’re doing something with your family, but I just thought I’d extend the invitation either way.”

“Actually my parents are taking Alicia and Gracie to their home in Hawaii for Thanksgiving so I was going to be alone.” He sticks out his lower lip looking like a sad puppy dog.

“Oh stop it! You’re more than welcome to join us then.”

“Who else will be there, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Joey, his friend Sammy and possibly his new friend Liam if he can convince him.”

“I’d love to join you for Thanksgiving. You know, you are more than welcome to use my penthouse if you’d like,” he mentions.

“
Oh my God!”
I yell unintentionally. “I’d
love
to cook in your kitchen! Are you sure you don’t mind having company?”

“I wouldn’t have offered if I did,” he says.

“I’m so excited now. I have a week to get everything together. Is it okay if I grocery shop and leave things at your place?” I ask him.

“Of course, if you’d like to make a list I can make sure that you have everything you need.”

“Oh stop trying to handle everything like usual, you’re opening your home to us. The least I can do is to shop and cook.”

“I really insist on doing something Angelica,” he remarks.

“Fine, then you can supply the wine and decorate.” I laugh at the last part.

“Decorate?” he asks.

“Yep, unless you can’t handle the task?”

“Oh, I can handle it, Ms. Cane.”

“We shall see.” I wink at him.

Finishing our desert we then walk back out to his car. Once we’re both in the car and driving he takes my hand in his entwining our fingers, the simple gesture is wonderful. Who knew simply holding hands felt so good? Today has been quite the day, you’d think by now I’d be used to them. But I’m not and I’m exhausted. I lay my head back on the headrest and stare at the lights flying by as we drive to my house. Blake says nothing, just rubbing small circles on my hand with his thumb, such a relaxing feeling. We pull up to my house a short time later and he hops out of the car and walks with me hand-in-hand to my door.

“Thanks for the frozen yogurt, Blake.”

“It was my pleasure, Angelica.”

“Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow for an early morning run?” I ask.

“Maybe you will.” He winks at me then kisses me softly on the lips. “Until then Angelica.”

“Bye Blake.”

Heading inside, it isn’t until I lock the door behind me that I hear his retreating footsteps. With a smile on my face, I head up to my room and go straight to bed.

Saturday morning I wake early and change into a new running outfit I purchased this past week online. I’m in dark gray from head to toe, wearing my new favorite workout brand
Lululemon
, it’s ridiculously overpriced but cute as hell and fits my ass like a glove. Of course, I bought this outfit knowing that Blake would see me in it. I have to try and look good for him at all times if possible. He looks fabulous in anything or nothing for that matter, so I need to step up my game. While I’m tying my shoes, I hear the doorbell. Grabbing my armband and phone, I sprint down the stairs and open the door and there stands my man.

Did I just say that?
Fuck yeah I did, and it feels good.

“Well, hello there handsome.” I stare him up and down. He’s in loose fitting
Under Armour
black pants and a quarter zip fitted jacket.

“Good morning beautiful.” His eyes gaze right into mine.

“Are you ready? I’m feeling extra brave today.”

“Is that so? What does that entail for our run?” he asks as I lock up the house.

“It means we’re adding a few extra miles today, I have nothing planned besides outlining our Thanksgiving dinner, so I don’t mind if I’m sore on the couch all day.” I smile up at him.

“Whatever you want to do.”

“Good answer.” I strap on my armband and place my phone in it.

“What are you listening to today?” he asks.

“I’m thinking nineties R&B. Why don’t you ever run with headphones?”

“I like to stay alert. Plus, the sounds of the city is music enough for me.”

“Alert huh? You were real alert the first day we bumped into one another. Pun intended.”

“Ha, you got me there. Perhaps I was alert and purposely ran into you, have you ever thought of that?”

“Sure, sure, tell yourself what you want.” I stand my tippy toes and go for a brief kiss when he catches me and tips me back and kisses me like we’re at the altar. “Wow, now that’s a good morning kiss,” I say as we break apart.

“Yes, it is.”

As soon as we are done making googly eyes at one another we run off. Mariah Carey’s,
‘Always Be My Baby’
is the first song to play this morning.

I wonder if this is it for me, will Blake always be my baby?
Cheesy thought, but I’m curious, can I keep this guy?

In the extremely short time we’ve known one another, we’ve been to hell and back. Quite the test to put a new relationship through. If I’m going to be honest with myself, I can see me saying those sacred three words to him. Of course, he’d have to say them first because I’m stubborn like that. I can’t let him know that I possibly like him more than he likes me. God, I’m so childish.

Winter has definitely hit New York City, it’s getting harder to breathe in the cold weather. I see the mist of our puffs of breath with every step we take. Of course, he runs gracefully and breathes rhythmically, my breaths, on the other hand, are far more frequent, so I try to steady them to match his.

We’re approaching a light when I notice a group of three girls waiting to cross the street. They’re staring at Blake a little too much for my liking. Once we reach the light we both stop, as we wait for the light to change I see the girls stare at Blake and give him their best smiles. Blake smiles back with a slight nod then puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close to him. My smile is as big as their frown. Once the light changes, we both run past them and continue with our run.
What an incredible feeling that was.
He didn’t try and hide from those women. He acknowledged them nicely then grabbed me to show he was with me. God, I’m in heaven.

Without another word, I tap his arm and signal that we’re turning around. He looks a little perplexed but follows me back running a little faster because I want to get home as quickly as possible. He eyes me curiously but stays by my side. Once we reach my house, I quickly run up my steps and open my door, grabbing his arm and pulling him inside. I slam the door shut and start to undress. Once I toe off my shoes, I take my jacket and shirt off then jump up onto him. He holds me under my ass and kisses me like he did just a short time ago while walking me up the stairs knowing exactly what I want. As soon as he sets me down on my bed he starts to undress, not wishing to waste any time to finish what I started downstairs. Once we’re both naked and in bed, he pulls away from our kiss.

“Not that I’m complaining but where’s this coming from?” he asks with the cutest look on his face.

“The way you handled those women out there really turned me on.”

“Well, I hope more women stare at me then if I get this in return.”

I laugh loudly. “Perhaps not.”

We return to kissing, he starts to kiss my cheek, then as he goes down to my neck, he licks my collar bone and goosebumps travel down my body. Right as he starts to lower his kisses to my stomach his phone rings, but not a normal ring tone, it’s a deep bell sound. He quickly hops off cursing under his breath as he searches through the pile of clothes on the floor for his phone. The ringing stops, but he’s still searching. I watch from the bed quietly, knowing it must be important. It starts to ring again and he finds it quickly this time.

“Yes?” He sounds pissed. I pity the poor person on the other line who has to deal with his blue balls. He puts his thumb and pointer finger on the bridge of his nose and shakes his head. “On my way.” He walks back over to me and sits on the edge of my bed.

“It’s okay, I get it. Work is work, right?” I say trying and ease the situation.

“It’s not okay. But I have to deal with this, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, it’s bound to happen. We’ll try again later, okay?”

“Yes we will, I owe you multiple orgasms for this.”

“Yes, yes you do.” I kiss him tenderly then he stands up and hurriedly gets dressed.

“I’ll call you as soon as I can. Again, I’m sorry Angelica, I wish I didn’t have to leave.”

“Enough. It’s fine. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Yes, you will. Now come walk me out so you can lock the door.” I hop off the bed buck-naked and follow him down the steps.

“Angelica, must you torture me so?” He’s just staring at me as I walk down the steps.

“Yes, yes I must.” I wink then skip to the door and stand behind it.

“Damn it.” He adjusts himself in his pants. “You’re a bad, bad girl.”

“I try.” He kisses me fiercely then jogs out of the house.
“Bye, honey!”
I yell after him then close the door.

On my way up to my room, I smile all the way and hop under the shower. Once I’m finished, I pull on my pajamas and start a pot of coffee then head to the library to begin researching recipes for our Thanksgiving dinner. About an hour later I have everything from appetizers to desserts planned. I text Joey and tell him I need a head count by tomorrow at the latest so that I can start my shopping. He replies with a simple “OK.” He’s still hurting. It’ll take a while for him to get past his royal fuck up. I’ve checked TMZ daily and found nothing new on Joey, thank God. I scared that bitch into silence and I hope it stays that way. I still haven’t heard from Blake by noon which is a bummer, I was hoping to get lost in the city with him today, or at least lost in the sheets. I spend the afternoon watching all the shows on my DVR and order Chinese takeout. That
Olivia Pope
is not someone you want to piss off, man she’s awesome.

By six p.m. I have finished binge-watching my television shows and head into the kitchen to start bake. Baking is something I do when I’m either bored or sad—luckily right now I’m only bored. I like to keep my pantry stocked just for occasions like this. I never know when I’ll get a hair up my ass and want to make something delicious. Deciding on oatmeal banana cookies while gathering all the ingredients I hear keys in the door.

“Hey A.P.,” Joey calls from the front door.

“Hey JoJo,” I call back from the kitchen. He walks in and plops down on a barstool. “What’s wrong?”

“Liam is making me really work for this.”

“What would
this
be?” I ask.

“Us, I guess. He’s really playing hard to get and it’s fucking frustrating.” He sighs.

“Have you ever thought that maybe he isn’t playing hard to get at all? Maybe he’s just scared to open up to you again. I know you guys had only just met, but you really put a fork in things.”

“Ugh, I know, I know, I’m just not used to it is all.”

“Well, I’m glad he’s making you work for it. You deserve this.”

“Whose side are you on again?” he asks.

“I’m on yours, baby boy, always.”

“Sure you are. What are you making?”

“Cookies, make yourself useful and mash these bananas for me.” I hand him a bowl with three bananas in it.

As I start mixing the dry ingredients, I hear a knock at the door.

“I got it,” Joey calls as he walks to the front door. I keep measuring when I hear Joey’s voice. “You’re hot I’ll give you that, but you’re not really my type. Thanks for the flowers, though.” I smile at their exchange. “Hey A.P. look at what your boyfriend brought me.” I look over my shoulder and see Joey walk in with a huge vase filled with an assortment of plumerias. He walks them over to the dining room table and places them in the center. I look at Blake over my shoulder.

“I thought you’d be opening the door so I was holding them out in front of me,” he says with a lopsided smile.

I laugh. “I’m totally jealous.” I walk over and peck him on the lips. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome. I’m sorry I didn’t call before just showing up.”

“It’s not a problem, I was baking. Have a seat next to Joey and I’ll get us some wine.”

Moving over to the fridge, I grab a white wine and a red off the counter and hand them to Blake along with three glasses. He pours our wine like we’re at a restaurant.

“Blake we aren’t paying per glass, fill that fucker up,” Joey tells him. Blake laughs and fills Joey’s up to the rim, careful not to spill it over the edge. “Smart ass.” Joey has to carefully sip it before being able to pick it up.

The rest of the evening is spent drinking and baking. I made enough cookies so each man could take home a dozen and I still had a dozen for myself. After that I decided to bake a banana cake, my freezer was full of bananas, I was trying to make use of them all. While baking the cake Blake orders us pizza and wings. Joey runs to the closest liquor store to purchase some more wine. The pizza and Joey return at the same time. We eat, drink, and laugh until my stomach hurts. I’m buzzed and love it, they guys keep fucking with each other and their jokes are hilarious. We have resorted to childish jokes because we ran out of adult ones.

“Hey JoJo, I bet I could get you to say black.”

“Um, okay try me.”

“What color is that wine?” I ask.

“Red,” he responds.

“What color is my hair?”

“Brown.”

“What color is your shirt?”

“White.” He looks perplexed as to where I’m going with this.

“What color are my socks?”

“Purple.”

“
Ha!
” I yell. “You said purple!” I point at him.

“You drunk bitch I thought I was supposed to say black?”

“Ha!”
I fall off the couch in historical laughter. Blake’s now laughing just as hard.

“God damn it, how in the hell did I fall for that?” Joey’s pissed I got him. “I’ve gotta take a leak.”

“Ew, thanks for the heads up,” I call after him. Once he leaves the room, I reach across the coffee table and snatch his phone.

“What are you doing Angelica?” Blake questions.

“Oh, just helping out a friend,” I answer as I’m sending a text message.

“Do you think Joey would like that?”

“I don’t care.” I smile up at him. As I hear the bathroom door open, I hurry and finish typing my message then put the phone back where it was originally. I smile at Joey when he walks back in the room.

“You’re drunk and way too obvious. What did you do?” He looks between me and Blake. “Did you put something in my wine?”