A Life Restored (28 page)

Caroline woke after a fitful night of sleep.
 
Standing in front her wash basin, she splashed water on her face.
 
The cold liquid felt good against her hot skin.
 
As she dressed for her day, she considered what she might make for breakfast.

The thought of food sent her stomach lurching.
 
She took several deep breaths, laying one hand over her stomach, hoping it would settle soon.
 
Then she lifted a wrist to her forehead.
 
It seemed warm.
 
Perhaps she was coming down with something.

She took a seat in a chair at the table and waited a moment for the sickly feeling to leave her.
 
A little surprised when it did, she thanked the Lord for it.
 
She decided not to take any chances by eating anything.
 
Instead, she made her way down the stairs to the mercantile.

Abraham greeted her as she entered.
 
She smiled and returned the greeting, still not feeling completely like herself.

“You look a bit pale this morning,” Abraham commented as she took her place behind the counter.

“Didn’t sleep well last night.”

Abraham nodded before he returned his attention to the ledgers.

The bell above the door rang, announcing a customer.
 
Caroline stifled a sigh.
 
Probably someone looking for coffee or sugar or one of the many other goods they ran out of over a month ago.

“Dear!” Betty greeted.
 
“How are you today?”

Caroline stepped around the counter to receive Betty’s energetic embrace.

“Well enough.
 
Have you heard anything from Thomas?” she asked, still holding out hope that he would return any day.
 
He had been gone for two months now.

The smile faded from Betty lips and sympathy clouded the earlier excitement in her eyes.

“I’m sorry, dear.
 
I’m sure he’ll be home soon.”

Betty reached out and squeezed her hand.

Caroline struggled to hold her tears at bay.
 
She missed Thomas and she wanted him home.
 
Whether he married her or not, she just wanted to know he was safe and well.

“Keep praying for him, dear.”

With a heavy sigh, she forced her thoughts away from her sorrow.
 
“What can I help you with this morning?”

“I don’t suppose there’s any chance you received a shipment yet?
 
The men are getting quite grumpy about the bitter watered down coffee I’ve been making by reusing the grounds.”

Imagining the taste she had come to despise, Caroline’s stomach cramped.
 
She agreed wholeheartedly with Betty’s boarders—drying out used coffee grounds and reusing them was only one very small and unpleasant step above going without coffee altogether.

Abraham looked up from his ledgers.
 
“I’m hoping we’ll get more supplies in soon.
 
Now that the snow has melted off and the muddy roads are drying out, I think we should see a supply wagon soon.”

“Well, when you get more coffee, let me or Paul know.
 
Seems the men can get by without sugar, but coffee—” Betty shook her head.

“That and their tobacco,” Abraham said.

Caroline suddenly felt dizzy.
 
She reached for the stool behind the counter to sit for a moment.

“Are you alright, dear?”

“Just a little tired.”

Betty gave her a skeptical look, but said nothing more about it.
 
“Abraham, Caroline, have a lovely day,” she said as she left through the front door as two more customers entered.

“Caroline!”

She looked up at the animated voice of her friend.
 
“Julia!”

The distance closed between them as Caroline rushed forward to give Julia a hug.
 
“I’ve missed you so.”

“What about me?”

Caroline rolled her eyes at Adam’s question.
 
“I’ve missed you, too, big brother.”

Adam gave her a quick hug.

“I have a little tea left.
 
Why don’t you come upstairs and visit with me for a few minutes?”
 
She looked to Abraham to make sure her suggestion met with his approval.
 
He nodded.

She led the way up to her little room and set some water on the stove to boil as Adam and Julia took a seat at the small table.

“Not a very big space,” Adam commented.
 
The frown on his face hinted at his disapproval.

“It’s plenty big enough for one.”

“How have you been?” Julia asked.

Caroline hesitated.
 
She had been very sullen since Thomas left on his last run and never returned.
 
She had yet to tell Julia about her feelings for him, as the last time she saw Julia was in mid-December, the morning before the last time she saw Thomas.
 
She had been out of sorts then and had avoided the big Sunday dinner.

“Fine.”

Julia’s eyebrow shot up and Caroline knew that her friend understood her true mood.
 
Hoping to dodge more questions, she gathered some mugs and her teapot.
 
Then she changed the topic.

“How is my brother treating you?”

“Like she’s my princess,” Adam replied.

“Hardly,” Julia shot back.
 
“He refuses to let me ride any of the green horses.
 
He won’t let me ride out with the cowboys to the herd.
 
And he won’t let me ride alone out of eye sight.
 
How is a girl supposed enjoy this beautiful land?”

Caroline giggled.

“I think it’s a good thing I’m not letting you near the green horses.”

Interested piqued, Caroline asked, “Why not?”

Julia’s cheeks flamed red.

Adam started to speak, but Julia interrupted him.
 
“It’s too early to tell, but I think we might…
 
We may have a little one on the way.”

Caroline’s cheeks flushed.
 
An unexplained moment of sadness threatened.
 
She managed to chase it away with a forced smile that grew more sincere as she considered what this news meant.
 
“An aunt?
 
Are you telling me I will be an aunt?”

Adam nodded, grinning ear to ear.
 
Julia smiled, then looked at her husband with the most loving and endearing expression Caroline had seen—it even surpassed the way her parents looked at one another.

She wondered if she looked that way when she thought of Thomas.

“That’s wonderful news!” she exclaimed, hoping her churning emotions went unnoticed.

Adam came and gave her another quick hug.
 
“Aunt Linny,” he said.
 
“I’m going to leave you two while I see to a few errands.”

She wished him farewell and repositioned herself so she sat directly across from Julia.

“Why are you sad?”
 
Julia asked.

The direct question surprised Caroline.
 
She hesitated a moment before answering.

“Thomas.
 
He’s been gone for two months…
 
No one has seen him or heard from him since before the first big snow storm.”

“Do you have feelings for him?”

Caroline shifted her gaze from Julia to the window next to the stove.

“You do.”

“I love him.”
 
Her voice broke with the sorrow she had been holding back.
 
She rested her head in her hands and sobbed.

Julia moved from the other chair to stand next to her, placing her arms around her shoulders.
 
“I’m so sorry he’s missing.
 
I know it must hurt.”

Caroline nodded as the sobs subsided some.

“Do you know…
 
Does he share your feelings?”

Heat flushed her cheeks as she remembered the last night she saw him.
 
“I think so.”

“Then I’m certain he is as eager as you are to be reunited.”

A dim light of hope flickered.
 
He would return soon.
 
He had to.
 
She needed him to.

Chapter 29

Robert Garrett bit back a frustrated sigh.
 
He was relieved that the snow finally melted and that the roads were mostly passable.
 
The blizzard, followed by a fast warm up followed by another snow storm, really set his plans back a few months.
 
He was hoping for more cattle from the rustlers this winter.

As he entered Zach Drake’s office, he thought about his big plans.
 
Sometime later this year he would set his ultimate plan into motion.
 
He could hardly wait.
 
But he had to.
 
Moving too quickly would put himself and his plans at risk.

His meeting with Zach was quick as he dropped off the counts of purchased cattle—well, the ones he wanted papers for anyway.

He smiled as he headed toward the saloon.
 
Owens was working out nicely.
 
Prior to the snow storms he managed to help his rustlers gain about one hundred head, in addition to the some two hundred head they stole from Colter’s men on the cattle drive to California.
 
Though three hundred might seem like a small sum to a big ranch like Colter’s, with over three thousand head at his peak, it was enough to be noticed.

Good.
 
He wanted Colter to notice.
 
He wanted him to lose faith in his men.
 
He wanted to make him worry.

Then, when Colter just started to feel the pain, Robert would initiate the rest of his plan—one that would bring Colter more pain than he could ever imagine.

Ben Shepherd awkwardly dismounted his horse, his leg giving him more trouble today than normal.
 
He and Snake escorted Adam and Julia to town today.
 
Or perhaps it was the other way around, since he and Snake were the ones that had to come.
 
Many of their customers waited much too long for their supplies of beef from Colter Ranch.

He smiled as Adam bounded down the stairs from Caroline’s little room above the mercantile.

“Too much chatter?” he teased Adam.

“Too much work.
 
I need to catch up with Craig Roundtree about horses for the express.
 
Do you need help before I go?”

“Naw.
 
Snake and me got it.”

Adam agreed to meet them at Lancaster’s for dinner.
 
Ben nodded, though he hoped his dinner plans might be different and include some quiet time with just him and Betty.

The two months of being snowed in at the ranch gave him plenty of time to miss her and to think.
 
Since he finally let go of Sheila and made things right with God, he found his thoughts turning more and more towards Betty.
 
The idea of staying alone much longer held no appeal for him.
 
He wanted her in his life and at his side at the ranch.

And that was one of his worries.
 
Would she be able to leave her son and the boardinghouse she worked so hard to make a success?

Well, that’s what dinner was for.
 
He hoped to find out just that.

He and Snake unloaded a crate of beef at Hardy’s mercantile.
 
Towards the end of last year they started stocking supplies of jerky.
 
After wishing Abraham well, he and Snake made the rounds at the fort, the hotel, Jackson’s boardinghouse, Osborn’s restaurant, another restaurant, and finally Lancaster’s boardinghouse—just in time to steal Betty away.

He stood in front of the back door of the dining hall kitchen.
 
For a minute he wondered if Betty still cooked in there or if she moved operations up to the nicer, house-like boardinghouse.
 
He followed his nose and opened the back door to the dining hall.

“Benjamin!” Betty exclaimed.

She moved quickly to his side, placing a light kiss on his cheek before he even managed to set the crate of beef down on the counter.
 
Once he did, he wrapped his arms around her and gave her a light kiss on the lips.

“So ya missed me?”

“Very much.
 
And the boarders have been craving some Colter beef.”

Ben smiled.
 
“Glad I ain’t disappointing anyone today.”

“How is everyone out at the ranch?
 
I’ve been worried sick not hearing any word for two whole months.
 
Is Hannah well?
 
Will?
 
Adam?
 
Julia?
 
Oh, and Baby James?
 
Will they all be coming for services on Sunday?
 
I hope so.
 
I miss everyone so much.”

“Ya talking to yerself or ya want me to answer?”
 
He winked.

She sighed.
 
“Tell me everything I’ve missed.”

“I will, on one condition.”

She raised an eyebrow in question.

“Have dinner with me over at Osborn’s.
 
Let Paul and the Pengs take care of yer boarders and come with me.”

Ben held his breath as Betty hesitated.
 
He watched each argument cross her face before she finally agreed.
 
He let out a long breath and waited while she told Paul where she would be.
 
Then, he offered her his arm and led her down the street to Osborns.

Once they were seated at the table, she repeated her list of questions.
 
“How is Hannah?”

“She’s doing better.
 
Was real sick fer a spell.”

“So she is with child?”

“Yah.
 
Said he’ll be along in July.”

Betty laughed.
 
“He?
 
I’m hoping for a girl.
 
Oh!
 
Another July baby?”

Ben nodded.

“Guess Will wasn’t joking about filling up all those rooms in his new house.”

He chuckled.
 
“Think he was dead serious.
 
How’s yer new house?”

She looked down at the plate of food before her.
 
“It’s nice.”

“But?”

“But, I was just fine where I was.
 
I don’t need anything fancy.”

Ben took a big bite of the fried chicken on his plate.
 
Tasty.

“How is everyone else?”

“Good.
 
Will hopes they can make it in next Sunday.
 
Adam and Julia came in today.
 
He wanted to check on Caroline.”

Silence stretched as they both worked on their meals.
 
Ben debated how he might bring up how she would feel about leaving the boardinghouse.

“Ever think of leaving?”

“Leaving?”
 
Betty asked, confusion written on her forehead.

“Leavin’ the boardinghouse.
 
Doin’ something else.”

She laughed nervously.
 
“I don’t know.
 
I’ve been far too busy to think about much else besides running the place.”

“If the chance came to leave, would ya take it?”
 
His heart pounded as he waited for her answer.

She glanced away.
 
“I…
 
I suppose it would depend on the opportunity.
 
I’d hate to leave Paul.
 
I mean, this place was my idea.
 
It’s not fair to run off, leaving him saddled with the place.”

Ben let out a slow breath.
 
“Maybe he wouldn’t see it that way.”

“I don’t know.
 
Sometimes I get the feeling he doesn’t like so much responsibility.”

“Why ya say that?”

Betty pursed her lips.
 
He was pushing the subject too hard.
 
Her heart was still tied to the place.
 
She’d need some gentle coaxing to be ready to leave.
 
He’d give her time.

“Baby James is jabbering a lot these days,” he said, changing the subject.

As the light of her smile brightened her face, he decided he needed to take things slow.
 
Give her time to get used to the idea of a different life than the one she built here.
 
Help her see it might be nicer to share it with him at the ranch.

Betty knew she overreacted to Ben’s comments about leaving the boardinghouse.
 
She just wasn’t ready to let go.
 
Not yet.

He was still pretty new in his return to his faith.
 
She was still new to the idea of marrying again.
 
She had her own share of pain to overcome.

She sighed as she started fixing supper for the boarders.
 
She thought she dealt with the pain of losing Henry, but sometimes it crept up on her unawares.
 
He’d gone to be with Jesus well over fifteen years ago.
 
She thought the grief would be completely gone by now.

It wasn’t.
 
Nope.

Sometimes she still missed him so much.
 
He had a gentle spirit and a kind smile—maybe not too terribly different from Benjamin in that regard.
 
Their marriage settled into a good partnership, one involving give and take.
 
He always did his best to provide for her and the children.

A tear slipped from her eye.

“Ma?”
 
Paul’s voice was filled with concern.
 
“You alright?”

“Fine, dear.
 
Just thinking about your father.”
 
She glanced his direction.

Pain crinkled his face briefly, before he wiped it away.
 
Sometimes she wished he would allow himself to feel it.

“Benjamin was here today.”

“I can see that.”
 
He gestured towards the stocked pantry.
 
“And I noticed you weren’t around earlier.”

She smiled.
 
“Can’t sneak anything by you.”

He crossed the room and wrapped her in a hug.
 
“No you can’t.”

“I love you, son.”

He released his hold.
 
“Love you, too, Ma.”

Then his face split into a big grin.
 
“Better get cooking.
 
Think I hear the first boarders arriving for their grub.”

She swatted at his arm, but he moved away before she made contact.
 
He gathered some coffee mugs and the pot and left the room.

Betty wondered what she would do if Ben asked her to marry him.
 
She knew that’s what his questions were all about this afternoon.
 
He was trying to gauge her feelings about leaving Paul and the boardinghouse.

In truth, it was Paul she would have the hardest time leaving.
 
The boardinghouse was just something to keep her busy—a way to make a living and love on as many people as she could.
 
But, Paul was her only child in Arizona.
 
It would be hard to go, even if it was just out to Colter Ranch.
 
She would miss him dearly.