A Life Plan Without You. (29 page)

Crude I know, but that’s all he did Jimmy, he sowed his wild
oats and not by the hand full either like normal blokes do. Judging
by the non-committal answer he gave me, ‘it was just that baby too
many’ or try this one, ‘I don’t know I was drunk,’ he doesn’t
really know how many, is what the bottom line, and that’s the shame
he has to carry.

You can’t
make him feel any worse than he is already feeling about it all,
and to be honest I’m not happy that someday I could be having lord
knows how many woman with kids in their arms turning up at our door
step and saying this is Sam’s son or daughter, that’s what I find
scary James really scary.

He’s done more than hand sow a few oats, your prick of a
brother, who I love very much, used a fucking seed driller to sow
his bloody oats?” Jimmy finally broke a smile! “He’s never hidden
that fact Jimmy, but he hides other things thinking they will spoil
us, and that’s so not happening. I need for you to let the thought
of there being an us go, and just be my friend, not be this twisted
and bitter man stood here pretending he’s not hurting, when he so
obviously is? Just remember I’m a better friend than I am enemy! I
want to be friends Jimmy but if you want to be enemies then watch
your back, because I don’t play nice anymore!”

I moved forward, he moved back, I did wonder what his motives
were for being here were? They can’t still be me? Nope… Ellie was
rushing in and he went bright red. Oh, how quickly he had moved on.
So I wasn’t his true love after all?

“Argh you’ve got a thing for Ellie, don’t say I don’t do
anything for you, Ellie can you take over with Jimmy,” I grabbed
Gary, who smiled as I placed his hands on my bum and he was well
frisky.

“You’re a quick learner Gary Parkin, but grab my bum one more
time and it’s a kick to the nuts again for you.” He had no qualms
about grabbing my bum, but his hands quickly moved, he laughed. I
wonder did he remember the last kick to his knackers he got? He
soon moved his hands off my bum, he must have.

“God loves a trier Michelle. Gran taught me for family
functions, so she would have someone to dance with.” The lessons
went really well and there was nothing more in it other than the
lads wanting to get a girlfriend and a drink. I’d had my toes trod
on more than a dozen times tonight, but the lads had really tried
their best.

“Will you all be coming back next week then?” Lee asked, yes
was the general opinion. He booked me, Samantha and Ellie as their
teachers.

“If you’re stopping, for the social take seats upstairs
please. Remember to be quiet as there are others having their
lessons. Talking of lessons girls upstairs. Cathy’s waiting for us
and it's her last night tonight, the baby's making her cranky and
thanks for the help again. Samantha’s back next week, so you should
be fine.” We rushed up she had been waiting five minutes. I was
about to dance in front of the idiots.

“Sorry Cathy we won’t be late again.” She was grumpier than
usual tonight and her sandals were stopping all over the floor, Lee
put our music on and grabbed my arm and we started with the
rumba.

“You look different Michelle, being in love totally agrees
with you, by the way he’s watching you.” I didn’t search him
out.

“Cheers Lee, so no pressure then?” I was knackered, I’m still
with Lee, and music starts. This dance is all as Lee says tits and
bum, but yet again another perfect dance.

“Are we ready then for the next exams?” Ellie
asked.

“Lee nodded can’t see why not, but you’ve got to throw in a
dance of your own, how about a Samba?” Cathy had disappeared, yet
more toilet stops for her. Right, he began showing us the steps, we
struggled with some of the more fancier footwork, but a couple more
sessions and we’d have that nailed too. Ellie and I were wrecked, I
needed a drink, and I wanted Sam. Not really bothered in what order
either. The whole of our new lads class were clapping including
Jimmy, though think his where aimed at Ellie not for me. I needed a
pee, quick dash to toilet, and a quick wetting of the
hair.

We began our nipper’s class, poor little Gillian danced with
Ellie. I'm thinking last week’s fall had put her off dancing with
me? They followed us around like little ducklings watching, what we
did and copying our every move. They were a great bunch of kiddies,
loud and chatty. We ran through the dances they needed to do, I’m
giving the tango a miss tonight.

“Thank you, that was a great class tonight, I will see you all
in two weeks. Ellie will be teaching you, because I am on holiday,
so behave yourselves or no rock for you lot.” I had a look around
the room for Sam. I didn’t have to look very far he was at the same
corner seats as last week, with a drink. I went over and kissed
him, to sniggers from the lads.

“Can you read minds too, because, if you can I’m in trouble?”
He pulled me down onto his lap, smiling as he did.

“You were really good again, what’s with that lot?” He was
eying up his brother and the lads, who for some reason think, they
have something I want. They see a different girl here perhaps? I'm
not interested in anyone else apart from the fella, whose lap is
nice to be sat on, and whose hand is lovingly caressing my
thigh.

“That’s easy, they get served alcohol here, some can’t get in
the pubs, Stockton getting savvy to the underage drinking, and they
noticed how many girls were here last week and they have started
taking lessons too, including Jimmy, who by the way has now got a
crush on Ellie. He’s not as good as his big brother in the dance
department either.” He nibbled on my neck and sighed. “Best I don’t
catch you following her around. You’re my stalker nobody else’s.”
He pulled me in closer, now kissing me harder on the back of my
neck, shivers sent riding through my body.

“Right about Blackpool Monday, your plan is?” He had his hand
on my thigh, his fingers stroking it, every touch feeling so
nice.

“Please I’d love it but we don’t have to do anything.” I tried
looking coy and failed miserably. “We don’t have to rush into the
whole sex thing Michelle. I can wait, but we can still go for a
meal, do the cuddling and stuff? We need to get to know each other
and talk, have a good time and just take our time.” He looked a lot
different than he did when he first suggested the idea?

“Why have you changed your mind? Can it be you’ve had second
thoughts? After all, it was your suggestion, one I want to happen
to want too, do you really not want too? I’m thinking it’s got to
be a lot more than you just changing your mind? You were looking
forward to it as much as me Sam.” He grabbed my hand and we got up
to dance again. Sam, the master of avoidance, he looked into my
eyes and smiled. He clung to me like ivy around an old tree, his
warm breath on my neck and his fingers around my back gently
stroking the skin they were touching. “Sam what’s the matter? Ever
since I mentioned, this Blackpool thing you’ve been a little off,
have I done something, not done something, please tell
me?”

“No, nothing you haven’t done anything wrong quite the
contrary, you do a lot of good things Michelle. It’s just such a
big thing for us to do and I’d like for it all to be perfect, I’m
worried your first time should be special, a something to remember
for the rest of your life special. I don’t want to mess that up for
you, I need to explain Michelle, I have issues with just sleeping
around and I need to be in a committed relationship for the sex
thing, because of how I was before, I need it to be different, and
you, you are different, so very different and perfect, but hell yes
I do want that for you and me eventually.”

He wants commitment? What sort of commitment, that I won’t be
leaving him after we do it? Why would I throw the dream of mine
away?

“So we should wait, is that what you’re saying? I need to save
myself just for the man I marry? Sorry Sam, but you’re the one I
want. I’m sure if and when and where we do it; it will be fine, if
you still want to that is?” That actually sounded like he was the
one I wanted to marry, and maybe I do someday, but umm not thinking
that far down the track, but the thought is now in
there.

“I want you too and more than you realise and baby right now.
I do want you to commit to me Michelle because you have me totally
wrapped around theses.” He picked up my hand and kissed my fingers.
The music played and we danced on, he had me held close to him, we
were dancing of sorts, more shuffling around, looking at each
other.

“Do you want to leave and come back to mine? With any luck
they’re all out or in bed.”

“Yes.” I went to change the shoes grab my jacket, and we
headed to mine, things were definitely a little more restrained, a
week of not keeping our hands off each other to, well near enough
get me to the nunnery stuff. This was getting weirder and weirder
by the minute.

“Right what’s been said Sam?” He blushed.

I was on my way to see her and her Dad was coming out of the
Owl, I knew this was coming I just didn’t expect it
tonight.

“Sam has Michelle told you I need a word, man to man sort of
thing?”

“She has yes Sir.”

“Less of the Sir, it’s Mick, as you know I said I never judge
people until I know them, but as she is by baby, yes eighteen, but
she is still my little girl, when you have children you will
understand the pull they have on your heart. I asked around and
well you have a bad reputation for…”

“Sleeping around, very old news Sir, erm Mick and it was a
stupid thing to do, but I swear I haven’t slept with Michelle or
nor do I intend to, not until we do this properly, get to know each
other and date a while. When I said I have never had a girlfriend I
haven’t. Doing this with Michelle is all I need for now I’m not
saying we won’t but…”

“Enough I know she’s of age and shit, please don’t let me
picture that, not just yet, she’s my baby girl, look after her Sam,
and we will be fine, but don’t hurt her or you will know about it,
your brother wasn’t very complementary, but her Cousin Shane said
you had stopped sleeping with anything with a pulse months ago, is
Michelle the reason why? If so I will give you the benefit of the
doubt, just don’t let me down, my daughters mean the world to me,
both of them!”

“I’m not interested in both of them Mick, just Michelle, and
yes she is being treated with kid gloves because she is special,
besides we have had this talk and we agree we need to know each
other better, but she is the only one I want and as you say I can
get any girl I want and they generally do what I want, but not
anymore she is the one and has been for months since mid-November I
have loved only your daughter. As to Jimmy he is miffed because he
wanted to ask her out too!”

“Umm, well I suppose that’s done, now see to it you keep your
word, I know I don’t have the right to ask but wait a while please
she is…”

“Special?”

“Very and thanks Sam, you are more than welcome to keep
seeing her. I suppose we will be seeing a lot of each other, she’s
taken with you, just treat her well, night Son…”

“Goodnight Sir, I mean Mick and yes I will see you soon.” I
left feeling bloody relieved, I’m glad she told me that he likes to
hear the truth, truth is I love her deeply, and want that with her,
more than anything, umm off to see the reason for the shaking and
sweaty palms…

“I met your dad on the way up. He sort of implied that if I
touched you that way, I’d be getting a visit from his famous right
hook, he asked me the questions, and I was truthful, fearing the
leg break, and after I said I wasn’t for doing that with you, he
agreed to give me the benefit of the doubt. I’m to prove him right
and do things correctly and slowly and I want that to. I love you
and though I’d kill to be alone in a bedroom with you, it’s not
happening yet, not never just not yet.”

“I bloody well knew you’d changed, thanks for letting me know.
I’m going to kill him, what else did he say?” He stopped walking
and pulled me into his arms. “Oh the interfering old sod, don’t
tell me you promised?” He kissed me.

“What was I supposed to do, he’s your dad? I can wait and I
know there’s plenty we can do in the meantime, lots baby absolutely
loads of things, and when we do it will be great, all of it will I
promise.” I was so angry.

“I’m going to kill him, and you like hell you’ll wait? Your
hornier than a toad and I’m just as bad, we can’t keep our hands
off each other as it is. I want you and intend to have my wicked
way with you. So it will be my fault not yours.” He kissed me, his
arms over my shoulders and hands holding the back of my
neck.

“Michelle give him time, when he sees we’re together and sex
isn’t all I’m after baby he may change? I have to prove I’m serious
about you, he’s just looking out for you and he really does love
you. He practically begged me not to touch you. I promised because
he seemed genuinely upset, and I want the same too, giving me your
gift is not all I want baby, I want the whole thing, I want always
and forever, Michelle always and forever…”

“As in
nobody else ever? Just you and me?”

“Yes,
you’re the girl I want that way, and we have all the time in the
world to do the other stuff! Stuff I want to do, can we please just
enjoy this, knowing we have forever to do those things?”